Chapter 7 snow child

"Hey, you slept in the wrong bed." I pushed and pushed the man wrapped in my quilt, yelling tiredly and sleepily.Really, I went out for exercise early in the morning without waking up, and it took only a quarter of an hour to go back and forth. I wanted to come back and sleep again, but who knew that the magpie's nest took over. The man pulled back the quilt, only a part of his back was exposed, and a straight spine was clearly printed under his clothes. I have never seen such a thin person. I looked at the other beds in the dormitory, and the remaining five beds had my roommates lying soundly asleep.The breath of night has not faded, if it is not only our department that must run and exercise, I don't have to suffer this every day.

But since everyone is sleeping in their own bed, who is sleeping in my bed? I just wanted to pull her over to see what happened, but she got up by herself and sat upright on the bed with her back to me. She turned her back to me, always turned her back.Then, slowly turning around... It was just a child, about eight or nine years old, covered in an outdated sportswear, with two thin arms sticking out, dangling the entire sleeve, and she was looking up with her little face, A pair of bright eyes stared at me curiously, with slightly light blue pupils, like two grapes soaked in water. I bent down, held her by the shoulder and asked, "What's your name?"

"My name is Oda." "Then where are you from?" She tilted her head and thought for a while before answering, "It's from a place that's very dark yet very bright, very cold yet very warm." What?What is that place?Regardless of her riddle, send her back first. "Really? Then my sister will take you back." I stretched out my hand to pull her, and her wrist, like a slippery eel, twisted away from my palm and broke free.She lowered her head and said softly, "I won't go back." "But, but" the situation in front of me confused me, "how did you get here?"

This is obviously a university apartment, why is there a child lying on my bed early in the morning? She was aggrieved, "Didn't you ask me to come?" Her little face wrinkled and she was about to cry. I'm a little angry, what kind of nonsense did this kid say.Until now, apart from knowing that this kid is called Xiaotian, I don’t understand anything else. Which hero did I offend today? Just as I was about to have an attack, I suddenly felt a burning pain like needle pricks in my back. Looking back, I saw five pairs of eyes piercing my skin like lasers, almost making the sound of sizzling meat.They were still asleep just now, but they woke up at some point, squatting cross-legged on their own bed like five sitting Buddhas, facing one direction, that is my bed, with their mouths opening wider than the other.

"Are you convulsing?" They asked me in unison, "Who are you talking to?" "Her." I pointed at Xiaotian, "This child came out of nowhere, and she is stuck on my bed." "Who?" They asked again in unison. "Can't see you guys? Such a big living person." I pulled Oda's sleeve and pushed towards them. "But there's no one there but you," said one. "Since we woke up, I saw you talking to the empty bed by yourself," another said. A chill surged through my body, and I looked at the child again, and she was also looking at me.Suddenly it floated up gently like a wisp of smoke, circling before my eyes.She floated past my five roommates one by one, pulling their hair and their clothes, but they obviously didn't see her or feel anything.

I yelled, hugged my head and ran out of the dormitory. "Oh my god my god my god!" I kept screaming in my heart.I've hit a ghost, I've hit a ghost in broad daylight! "Don't run, wait for me." I ran wildly in the hallway, wanting to fly with wings.At first I could hear her snorting and following behind, but then she simply fell silent. I couldn't help but look back, and when I saw her, I stopped automatically, turned around and walked back. She had just got up from the ground, and blood oozes from her knees, dyeing her white pants bright red. "You... fell down?"

"It's okay." She whispered, sniffling. The way she was holding back the pain and not crying made me feel soft, and there was a sharp pain somewhere.I helped her up and pulled up her trouser legs. She hurriedly came to help, and I saw that her palms were also scratched, revealing white flesh. "Does it hurt?" I blew on her wound. She shook her head again and again, "Xiaotian is not afraid of pain! Xiaotian doesn't even cry when he gets an injection!" A drop of water fell and hit Oda's knee. "Why are you crying?" Oda wiped my tears with a small hand.

Yeah, what's wrong with me?Why am I so sad, my heart seems to be tightly grasped and I can't breathe. "I don't know, the tears flowed out by themselves." At this time, my heart was full of sadness, and the fear just now disappeared the moment she fell. "Sorry, I won't scare you anymore. Do you want me to go back?" she asked softly. I looked carefully at her eyebrows and eyes, trying to find out why I was so sad.She has transparent skin, thin yellow hair is sparse, and her lips are a small flower bud.Her face, her behavior and clothes are so familiar, yet so blurred, like a shell that was randomly thrown into the sea in ancient times.When it was salvaged again, it was covered with long and old lines, but its origin could no longer be determined.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" I looked at her and asked absentmindedly. "I'm Xiaotian, and I'm here to find something." "Looking for what?" "If I say so, you are not allowed to drive me away again." "Okay, I won't." She stretched out her right little finger again, "I don't believe it! Pull the hook." "Okay. Lagou...what's the matter? I forgot." She curled her lips in dissatisfaction, wrapped her fingers around mine, and sang while pulling: "If you pull the hook and hang yourself, a hundred years is what you say."

"Can you tell me now? What are you looking for?" "laugh." "What? What are you looking for?" "Laugh, I lost my smile." I just remembered that this child has never laughed, so it turns out he can't.She has such a sweet face, how beautiful it would be if she smiled. "I used to be able to laugh, but then slowly I won't." "why?" "Because, because..." She lowered her head, two big tears fell from her sharp chin, "Everyone won't let me laugh." I held her in my arms and held her tightly.Her shoulders shrugged slightly, I stroked her hair, and said in her ear: "Don't be afraid, I will take you to find the smile back, definitely, definitely."

My last memory of this world is that I promised Oda that I would help her get her smile back. I was awakened by a coolness spreading down my feet, and when I opened my eyes, the ripples of water flowed on my face, flowing westward.The sunlight penetrated my body, reflecting the pebbles under my body into a transparent and round shape, and tails of small grass carp walked between my fingers. This is... at the bottom of the lake? As soon as I reacted, I choked on a big mouthful of water. I felt that I couldn't breathe. The oxygen in my lungs kept turning into bubbles and bursting on the lake. "Are you uncomfortable? I'll find someone to help you." It was Xiaotian's voice. She ran away, holding a cluster of golden stars in both hands. Under the rippling water, the stars scattered and kept drifting into the distance.Suddenly I felt like I was being lifted up by something, rising and rising, getting closer and closer to the sun, and finally bursting out of the ice-blue lake and back into the fresh air. I coughed violently and felt dizzy and powerless at the same time. "If you don't treat it as a lake, you won't be submerged." Oda said beside me, leaning on the thing that carried me up, looking at ease. I looked down and almost fell down.Beneath me was a big golden fish, plump and chubby, as if blown up by a balloon.But it has no eyes, and the whole body of the fish is covered with pale golden scales, and its tail is like a strand of golden strands, like a strand of curly hair, floating in the water. "Why doesn't it have eyes?" I asked. "It doesn't have eyes." "Then what the hell is this place?" "This is my home." Oda blinked and said. "Ah? But, I obviously slept in the dormitory last night, and you were with me too. What's going on?" "I don't know." She shook her head. "You don't know who knows?" "I don't know." She still shook her head. I was a little angry, but she tilted her head slightly, her small nose was a little pretty, and her clear eyes looked at me innocently.Faced with her like that, no matter what, I couldn't get angry anymore. "Okay, now you go to school with me!" Oda held my clenched fists, yes, my fists almost swung on her head just now. "School? Do you go to school too?" Oda nodded, "The first class today is Chinese." "Chinese? So you didn't learn magic?" I think it's really ironic that there are things I'm so familiar with in this ghostly place where everything is absurd. Oda ignored me, she bent down to pat the big fish and whispered something to it.Then the big fish made a hissing sound, and then a golden light flashed in front of my eyes.Oda's hand fluttered for a while, and when she stopped again, she was holding two fish scales in her hand. "This is the scales of Wanzi." As if seeing the idiot expression on my face, she explained again, "It's called Wanzi, and it's my 'Guardian Beast'." "Guardian beast?" "Well, you can have some too. You can use any animal you want." "Which forest do you want to capture?" "No need, as long as you have a heart, you can summon your own guardian." I touched the place under my chest, but fortunately, the thing was still beating.But I was really puzzled by what Oda said. "Oh, it's too late!" Oda stuffed two golden scales into my hand, "Put this in your mouth, and you can fly with us." Is this a propeller?I dubiously stuffed the two scales into my mouth, and the coolness of mint spread, and my palm suddenly felt the direction of the wind.Immediately afterwards, I felt that my body became as light as a bubble, and I couldn't help jumping lightly—— I actually bounced into the sky like a ball. "Ah, you can stretch your arms, relax, adjust your breathing, and imagine yourself like a bird." Oda, who was riding on the back of the ball, caught up and shouted loudly. I closed my eyes and let myself levitate. After a while, I felt free. I began to imagine myself covered with white wings, flying gracefully like a swan. "Ah, be careful!" When I heard Oda's panicked cry, a branch suddenly appeared in front of me, I hurriedly lowered my head, but...it was too late.I fell hard to the ground.At the same time, there was a burst of piercing laughter. I followed the sound and saw a group of strangely dressed children surrounded by an animal standing next to each of them, but none of them could name them.Because they all have only the characteristics of a certain animal, but they are not any animal.For example, a donkey with a lion's head, a frog with a rabbit's tail, and even a dragon with teeth and claws roaring and circling around a boy's head. I rubbed the painful place and got up, walked over, and saw stationery scattered all over the floor beside Oda.Pencils, erasers, and a broken bottle of blue ink made a mess.But Oda was only busy helping the ball up, patted all the dirt off his body, checked it carefully again, and after making sure that it was not injured, he let out a long sigh of relief. Why did I hit the tree, but Oda and Maruko also fell down?I guess I still don't understand the world.It's such a strange place. I walked over and wanted to pick up the stationery on the ground, but my fingers couldn't touch them, as if I was a shadow, a ray of air. "Hahaha, tell me you are a fool, how dare you come to school riding this kind of guardian beast?" A boy laughed sharply, "I'll help you teach this ugly thing a lesson!" He stepped up and stepped on it. On the ball's chubby body, the mouth of the ball made a painful hiss, which seemed to be the only sound it could make.Oda rushed forward, trying to break off the boy's feet, but the boy laughed even harder, and his feet sank a few inches into Wanzi's stomach.The boy's brand new leather shoes creaked, and Oda's face was flushed. She raised her head and kept looking at the boy's face. The ferocious face was enlarged to infinity, and her pupils were filled with all the frightened Sky. As soon as I rushed up, I waved my hand and punched the boy, but he didn't seem to feel anything.To my surprise, the boy didn't even look at me, he was busy rubbing his shoes back and forth on Oda. And Oda, with his arms outstretched, leaned on Maruko, motionless, motionless. The boy wiped off the dust on his shoe, then retracted his legs, raised his head in a gesture of forgiveness, and beckoned the bystanders around him to go away. Until they were all gone, Oda's small body was still lying on top of Wanzi. I gently reached out and touched her shoulder.She moved slightly, then turned around.Two lines of tears hung on his face, and froze on his lips. She lowered her head and silently picked up the stationery scattered on the ground, drop by drop of clear water fell, and soon, the bricks in front of her were mottled and wet. I knelt down, held her hand, and asked tremblingly, "Why did they treat you like this?" I saw the tears on her face quicken, and then she whispered, "It's okay, they've always been like this." "Nonsense! These bullying kids are damned!" I heard the sound of my teeth rubbing against each other, and only then did I realize that my whole body was trembling slightly, which happens every time I get so angry that I can't bear it. "I'm going to be late." Oda wailed. "Don't go! You let me go back, I don't want to care about your shit!" "It's you who don't want to go back." "what?" "If you really want to go back, you can go back a long time ago. Here, anyone who doesn't want to leave will never leave." She took my hand, "Don't go, okay?" "Unless you tell me, why can't I touch your notebook or them, only you and Wanzi?" I frowned. "I'm going to be late!" Oda's voice became flustered, she quickly stuffed the book into a big pocket on Wanzi's body, patted Wanzi's head, and saw it flying like a cannonball up. I stomped my feet and swished up to the same height as Oda. "It's much more proficient." Oda praised. "Hmph" I didn't bother to talk to her at all. "I just promised to get the smile back for you. After I get it back, who will care about you, an old bullied guy?" "Ah, be careful!" There was another exclamation. I dodged around and went around to the side of the tree I was about to hit, and I looked up and down, "Why are there so many trees here?" "This is a forest. Besides, there is a person living behind every tree. There is also a tree school. There is one school for every ten children." "Then where is your school?" "It's right here." Oda took my hand and touched the rough tree trunk. "Here? It seems to be empty here... this, ah..." I was falling, whirring and falling in a hollow tree.I don't know what's going on, just now when my hand touched the piece of bark, I was sucked in by a force, first my arms, then my shoulders, and then half of my body, like arching into a big tree. Bubblegum, I immediately fell into a transparent, fragrant space. "Nick's gem was sliced ​​into six pieces by a wizard's knife, so... are you late again?" I looked over, and saw a vine with suckers swinging over, and a middle-aged woman stood on it. She raised her head high, but glanced at her own toes, and pushed her black eyeballs to the lower eye sockets. His eyes looked cold and dignified.But, apparently, her eyes weren't looking at me.Because I have discovered that in this world, no one can see me except Maruko and Oda. There was a giggling sound, it was the boy who stepped on Xiaotian just now, imitating how Xiaotian protected the meatball early in the morning, while making faces.Soon, one after another, laughter rang out all over the classroom. Xiaotian stood where she was, looking up at her little head, those ridicules stuck in her back like needles.I saw her clenched her fists and took a step closer to the middle-aged woman whose hair was tightly tied up. "Mr. Xu, I'm late because..." "There is no excuse!" The woman held down her glasses, and a centipede popped out. The centipede twisted and stretched out its long legs one by one. When it reached the ninth leg, it stopped moving. "It's nine o'clock, and you're half an hour late. I don't want to hear anything from you. Every word you say is wasting our lives," and then asked loudly to everyone: Is that right? " "Yes—" everyone replied without exception. "Crack" an emerald green flash flashed quickly, "Go and stand in the corner for me." The middle-aged woman raised the rattan in her hand and swung it to the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust. I closed my eyes and could hardly bear to see Oda's face.What an anguished face that must have been. When I opened my eyes, Oda had already left.Her back walked very slowly, with heavy steps.I went to hold her, but she pushed my hand away. She walked all the way to the dirtiest corner of the classroom and stopped.I saw her raise her hand to wipe her eyes quickly, and then, turning her back to all the eyes looking at her, buried her head on her chest, like a child who has really made a mistake, ashamed from her ears to the base of her neck. Get flushed. There was a commotion in the audience, and those guardian beasts were like small balls, shuttling between their master and other children.After going back and forth, they all gathered in front of the boy who always bullies Oda. "Chen Yu!" Teacher Xu raised his voice, the boy raised his head and smiled indifferently, and the guardian beasts dispersed one after another. There were already a handful of papers in Chen Yu's hand, and as he read them one by one, the smile on his face intensified a bit.After reading it, he gathered the papers together, raised his hand, and a green dragon rushed towards him. The dragon that circled around Xiaotian and me early in the morning turned out to be the boy's guardian beast. Qinglong immediately grabbed a piece of paper, flew over, and stuck it directly behind Oda's clothes. "Ah—" A sharp voice was like scissors cutting through cloth. People looked and saw that teacher Xu was hanging upside down on her rattan swing, her body still dangling in mid-air—she was swinging too high.Who made her so fond of suddenly swinging in front of someone, aiming at someone's head with the tip of chalk and popping it out.But this time she tried too hard and got caught by the long vine. Xiaotian rushed over, I grabbed her: "Don't go, she deserves it!" But she shook her head, and ran over to help the middle-aged woman with tawny eyes.She grabbed Oda's wrist and rolled it up with all her might.With just one glance, she saw the slip of paper behind Oda.She tore it off, and after reading a few lines, she showed a cold smile.Then she handed the paper to Oda: "Read it, read it out loud." Xiaotian took it over, and uttered each word clearly and forcefully: "An makes green, An makes it spring green." When her last word fell, the whole class burst into laughter, and Chen Yu even laughed so hard that the table was overturned. Oda was completely stunned, she stood there in astonishment, not understanding what was in front of her eyes.It was as if someone had twisted my heart violently. All of this was so familiar. I heard a certain voice resounding and resounding, expanding into a frightening sound, enveloping and suppressing it hugely. "Then, who will translate it?" Teacher Xu searched everyone with inquiring eyes. "Me!" Chen Yu raised his hand vigorously, he had already stood up without consent, while looking at Xiao Tian, ​​he said slowly: "She's saying 'I'm a donkey, I'm a stupid donkey'" "Don't!" I hugged Xiaotian's head and covered her ears, "Don't listen!" But when I saw her pale face, I knew she had heard everything.She trembled slightly in my arms, choking and choking.Then, two lines of tears slowly poured out of the eyes. The green sunlight of the lake, the clear and shallow water bottom, and the white sand and stones flow through the fingers.The gray-green water plants swaying in the direction of the ripples are what I see every morning when I open my eyes. I don't know how long I stayed in this world, in fact, I can't be sure at all, is this an independent world?Maybe it's just a small, wonderful corner of the world I originally lived in. Looking back, I met Oda in school for no reason, to agreeing to her, finding a smile for her, to discovering so many heart-wrenching experiences of this girl.I have completely forgotten the existence of the real world, no, I don't want to go back at all.Because this is not a fantasy city, it is also cruel, even more real than my world. And, I think, I'm close to finding out who Oda is.I'm also close to figuring out what's going on with all this. "Morning, Grandpa!" Every morning, when Oda rushed out of the lake and flew on top of the round balls, she would say this to the old man who would be the first to appear in front of her. The old man waved a huge broom every day, sweeping the already clean roads. His slightly stooped body was very thin, his skin was sallow, with age spots scattered all over his hands. When he coughed, his hands with thick joints were always Holding the broom tightly, even the veins are sticking out. He always nodded slightly to Oda as an answer.But the wind was so strong that day, the old man covered his chest, bent down, and coughed as if his lungs were going to come out. "Grandpa..." Oda patted the meatball and stopped.She jumped down, took out two pieces of candy from her pocket, ran to the old man, grabbed his hand, and stuffed them in.The old man paused, shook his head quickly and pushed back, "You eat, kid, don't you love sweets the most?" "I still have more, I can't eat anymore!" "Take it to school to eat." "No," Oda shook his head slightly, took a deep breath childishly, and pointed at his teeth, "It will hurt here!" She blinked playfully, and ran away quickly.The old man's eyes followed her until she turned into a small black dot in the distance, and the old man still held two pieces of candy tightly in his hands. I held Oda in my arms, and pressed her small, warm body against my heart.I felt a sore and warm feeling surging in my limbs, which was moved by the kindest child in the world. Xiaotian sat down in his seat at Shudong School and packed his schoolbag.She dug and dug and found a large box of colored pencils. "Are you going to art class today?" "En! The teacher said, I want to draw my mother." Oda's voice was crisp. "Then... where's your mother? Won't she live with you?" "We used to live together, but my mother is far away now." "Where is that place? Don't be vague." This kid is really serious, why can't he explain anything to me? "What does it smell like?" Just then, a pungent smell came, and I pinched my nose.Only Oda turned around, looked at the boy sitting beside her, walked over, and pulled him up.The boy smiled foolishly and stood obediently, some brown and yellow things flowed down his pants. "That's it?" I gasped, "Is it his excrement?" Oda nodded, and had already taken a rag to clean up. "Hey, you don't need to do this kind of thing?" I tugged on her sleeve. "But, if you don't clean it up, he will feel uncomfortable. Xiao Qi is already very pitiful," Xiao Tian stopped what he was doing, looked at me and said, "Xiao Qi has a very serious illness. He doesn't understand what is going on here. Always being laughed at..." "Is it mentally retarded? I also had it in my class when I was young, and he was my peer." Oda nodded, not surprised at all. "You know my business well, don't you?" She didn't answer, and I continued to ask: "You are the only one in the class who hasn't said that you hate him, so the teacher asked you to sit next to him. You never mentioned that you want to change seats, because you are afraid that you will leave, little Qi will feel that everyone hates him, right?" Oda silently nodded.She lowered her head and cleaned up, "I know who you are, I know! I know!" I grabbed Oda's shoulder—— "Did the students bring the colored pens?" At this moment, the art teacher in a long skirt came slowly. Instead of swinging on the cane, she stepped on her skirt and moved step by step.I'm amazed that she doesn't even trip over herself. "Brought—" The children deliberately procrastinated the last word, with a taste of being coquettish. Class was over, so I had no choice but to let go of Oda's shoulders.She sat down and looked at the shining eyes of the art teacher in the long skirt.The teacher was saying that everyone should draw the most beautiful moments of mother. I saw that the people in Oda's paintings had black hair tied up on their shoulders, bright eyes and smiling faces.Wearing a red, chain link sweater.She leaned over the painting almost her entire body, drawing stroke by stroke, even the strands of hair were drawn one by one, so focused. "Let me take a look at your painting." Chen Yu jumped over and picked up the unfinished painting. The mother in the painting had curved lips, and she hadn't had time to paint them plump and rosy with red colored pencils. "Hey, the painting is not bad. But, if this is the case—" Chen Yu quickly grabbed the blue ink and splashed it on.He pinched a corner with his fingers, and when he picked it up, the paint was like a stream of water, piercing his white cheeks, slender neck, and lips that hadn't had time to become rosy. Beautiful?" "Oh, by the way, you'd better write 'ugly mother' on the back of this picture." The painting fell like snowflakes, falling in Oda's footsteps.She knelt down, cupped her hands, and wiped the ink with her hands, trying to see the face of the mother behind the ink, the smiling mother. Tears rolled down drop by drop, she raised her head suddenly, and shouted loudly: "Why are you doing this to me? Why?" "Because you are ugly..." Before he finished speaking, Chen Yu received a hard punch on the face, it was a solid punch, I rubbed my hands, it hurt so much.Huh?I hit it?Can I meet people in this world? Oda's fist was still frozen in mid-air, she stared at me blankly, Chen Yu's face was also full of horror, he looked at Oda's fist that had never moved.Obviously, he still couldn't see me, but he was beaten by me.After a while, he pointed to Oda's nose and said word by word: "You wait." Soon, the whirlwind teacher Xu rushed over. She grabbed Xiaotian by the collar and shook him back and forth, "Say, why did you hit someone?" "He stained my painting..." Oda's eyes were filled with tears. "Go and stand in the corner!" The cold middle-aged woman poked her forehead with her finger, "until get out of class is over." "So, this section is a composition class," Teacher Xu began to swing on the cane again, "Today's topic is "A Letter to Mom". After 30 minutes, students who are proud of their works can read their own composition." Oda was standing in the corner, her eyes were full of expectation, her fingers trembled slightly, as if the pen was in her hand.She looked at Teacher Xu several times, hoping that she could save her with one sentence. She really wanted to write a composition on this topic. "Mom, you are so beautiful, you really love me, I know, maternal love is the greatest..." When Xiaotian and I heard the sixth child read our composition like this, Xiaotian shouted timidly: "Teacher— —” Those cold eyes glanced over again, "What's the matter?" "Can I tell you something?" Oda tightly clutched the corner of her clothes, her eyes were wide open, waiting without blinking. "...Okay, let's talk about it." Oda's palms were full of sweat. She stood in the middle of the podium, and just as she opened her mouth, my eyes blurred.Because, I heard the words in her heart, which I was very familiar with, and spit them out with her clear and crisp voice, floating in the blue sky. "Mom, where are you? I haven't seen you for a long time. Is your illness cured? Remember the day we parted, you held my hand and said, you must be a good boy, wait You come back. Mom, I’m good, but when will you come back? Mom, in the forest, everyone has a guardian beast. And mine is a meatball. Mom, do you remember? You haven’t left the forest yet At that time, I went to the hospital to see you. You just finished the test. It was the kind of test that used a thick and long needle to pierce the spine. It’s all gone. You looked at me and cried while watching, and I cried too. Mom, I told myself at that time, I will never make you angry again, and I will not make you hug me to sleep, and I will not sleep with you. You kept asking for sweets... Before you left, you stuffed me with a golden fish, which was a birthday present you made for me when you were more comfortable. I liked it so much, and named it Wanzi. Mom, do you know why I let Wanzi be my guardian beast? Because as long as Wanzi is around, I will feel that you are by my side and that you will be back soon..." Two lines of tears slid down Oda's cheeks.I also knelt down and hugged myself, my heart ached as if a hand was constantly rubbing it.Certain memories begin to wake up... When I was a child, my mother always had headaches.My father took my mother to Beijing for medical treatment. For me, that was a very, very far place.I begged my parents to take me with me.They agreed, so I temporarily dropped out of school.Holding my mother's hand tightly, I got on the train for the first time. In the evening, when the train stopped on a small platform, my father pulled my hand from my mother's.Pick me up and walk out of the car.My mother just looked at me like that. Along the way, she told me countless times to be obedient and eat well, but now, she didn't say a word. A person was waiting under the car, and when he saw us, he stepped forward and reached out to take me over.Dad took my hand and handed it to the uncle who came to pick me up.I raised my head and glanced at him, only to find that my father's eye circles were red, like a bunny. Dad knelt down and brushed a strand of wind-blown hair behind my ear.Then, when the train whistle sounded again, he stood up and walked slowly towards the train.I also walked forward with him, but my uncle dragged me back and hugged me tightly. "Be good... wait for us to come back." Dad said, touching my cheek, his hand was very warm. At that moment, I suddenly understood that they didn't want me anymore.They're going to dump me in this little town. I struggled desperately, shouted loudly, and wanted to run up and grab Dad's clothes.However, it was too late, the train whimpered and drove into the distance.Dad's head poked out, obstinately leaning out like a lonely street lamp.Until the track turned a corner in the distance and I couldn't see it anymore. The only thing I hang around in my grandmother's house in the country every day is the millstone that is no longer used.Right in the middle of the yard, I climb up every day, stand on tiptoes, raise my head, and look at the distant mountain peaks wrapped in a layer of lavender smoke.I heard that there is a fairy living on that mountain, "the fairy will promise you anything." My uncle always said this to me. "Then, can I climb to the top of that mountain?" "No, that mountain has no road. Because the gods don't like to be disturbed." So, I can only climb up the millstone every day, look at the distant mountain, and pray silently: I hope my mother will come back to pick me up soon, I hope I can become stronger and protect myself and my mother... because, gods, do you know?When I was in school, they always bullied me... God, can you help me?Please, god, I will repay you.But, can you promise me first? Whenever I pray like this, the sun always shines and dyes my eyelashes golden yellow. Like, like I am now. I felt my chest was hot, from my hair to my fingertips, everything seemed to be on fire.Is it my illusion?Why do I feel like I'm wrapped in a glowing golden light? I felt as if something was about to burst out of my chest. "Oh, she's cocooning!" I heard someone yell. Cocooning? A pair of arms that were not long enough protected me. Oda wrapped me in her arms, raised her face, and said to me: "Your guardian beast is about to be born! Shh, don't talk, and don't be afraid. The guardian beast Births are the most sacred thing in the forest, for they are conjured from your heart's tenderest feelings and strongest desires. When both forces are at their peak, they leap from your chest出。不过，它们总是很小心地不会弄痛你，也不会弄伤你。 我双手捂住胸口，从掌心传来的，分明是两个心跳。 砰——砰砰——砰砰…… 当那束光蹦出来的时候，我什么知觉都没有。只是觉得很困很困，眼睛，已悄然合上。 有谁总是在看着我呢？Why do you look at me like that?我猛地睁开眼，对上了一双黑白分明的眸子，那是—— “啊，你终于醒啦！”小田长长呼出一口气，小小的手掌覆住我的额头，试我的温度。 “我的，我的守护兽……”我欠起身四下寻找，但除了丸子，再也没有其他的守护兽存在了。 “它明明出生了啊。但是，谁都没有看到它的样子。” “哦，”我慢慢露出笑容，“没关系的，它已经在这里了。”我指指自己的右手边。 “咦，是吗？”小田疑惑地望去，直直地盯着我的右手。仿佛她真的看到那里趴伏着一只小兽似的。 “你今天不用上学的吗？”我突然想到这个很重要的问题。 “呃……我，我不想去学校了。”小田托住腮，坐在我的下首。 “你的笑是在学校里丢的吧，不去那里把它找回来吗？” “找得回来吗？”小田微微侧着脑袋，满脸不相信。 “恩，一定找得到。” 我终于知道了，骚动这个词原来是用来形容这种场景的啊。 整个树洞学校像一锅煮沸的水，所有的目光都盯着我看。我迎视着所有人的目光，因为，在这个世界中，我刚刚获得了形体。 “小田，她是谁啊？”有人悄悄地问。 “我是小田的守护兽。”我故意大声答道。 哗——那一片声响几乎掀翻屋顶。我知道他们在惊讶什么，森林里还没有人类守护兽呢。 小田一脸不解，我将她的手牵起来，握在手中，向所有人再次大声说道：“我的职责是，守护小田，直到找到她丢失的笑容为止。” “你还不如去死——”沈鱼扑过来就是一拳。 “啪！”清脆的一个耳光响起，沈鱼当场愣在了原地，“你，是你？！上次打我的，是你对不对？” “恩，没错。那时你还不能看到我，不然，我非揍你个痛快！” “呸！”沈鱼重重地唾了一口，我的手禁不住再次高高扬起。袖管却被扯住了，然后，小田那细细的声音说：“不要啊，他也会很痛的吧？” 我的手生生顿住。 “我们不要做那个让别人难过的人，好吗？” “你太善良了，你这样怎么能让我放心？” 小田唇角微微向上一挑，是一朵不易察觉的笑容，“我有你的，不是吗？” “你，笑了？” “有吗？”小田惊诧地摸摸自己的脸。 “有的！”我重重点头，“可能你的笑又藏去哪儿了吧？不过，有我呢，我一定会把它找到，然后，狠命地揪出来，再像涂胭脂那样涂到你脸上去的。” “那么，我的'有你呢'守护兽，我可以问你一个问题吗？”小田第一次不等人回答就迫不及待地问起来：“为什么你的守护兽不见了，为什么你要说你是我的守护兽？” “我的守护兽就是我自己啊。当我心中有了一个愿望的时候，它就变成了一个透明的灵魂，寄居在我的身体里，等待成为一个生命，执行这个愿望。”我望着小田的眼睛说，“我曾经告诉过你的吧，我曾经向一位居住在山顶上的神仙祈祷过了，我求他给予我强大起来的力量，去保护自己和我所爱着的人。而你，就是我现在最想守护的人。” “神已经听到了你的愿望，不是吗？” “是的，并且，它已经实现了。” “这真好，不是吗？” 对不起，当你第一次来到我面前的时候，我没有立刻就认出你。 我怎么敢相信呢？时光就如同河流，无法逆流，那么你又怎么会真的站在我面前，可以让我真切地看到你，小心翼翼地伸出手碰触到你呢？ 在我无数次垂下睫毛，俯视内心的时候，在我夜里一个人走在路上，跟着自己映在墙上的影子一起默默迈出步子的时候，我都能感知到你。 是的，你蹲在那里，细瘦的胳膊紧紧环住膝盖，把自己包围在自己的拥抱中。四下无人，你坐在一片黑暗之中，那唯一光明的地方。可是，你却不知道，那光明恰恰就是你自己。 你在那里，时而若有所思的微笑，时而将眼睛望着远方，时而伏在自己的膝盖上，蜷起小如虾米的身子沉睡。 但是，真的是你来了么？居住在我心底的小人儿。 “是的，我听到一只手不断叩响我的家门，急切地，仿佛雨点抽打着窗子。我被你搅醒了。于是，我知道，是你又在寂寞了。你不断呼唤、乞求，总是带着恳切的，几乎哭出来的声音，一直传到我这里。”小田捂住自己的胸口，“我想，我该来看看你了。” “你，原来是这个样子的吗？你比照片上还要瘦些，脸色还要差些……我们本来是永远都不可以在同一时空相遇的吧，所以，你离我越来越远，连记忆都有了偏差吧？” “没有人可以永远停留在过去啊。8岁时，你离开了我，恩……”小田皱着眉头想了一会儿，“已经16年了吧？16年，会发生好多、好多的事，也会忘记好多、好多事的吧？” 我抱起她，她轻得如同一个布娃娃，“不，我没忘记！我永远都不会忘记，你就是曾经的我自己。我，16年前，长得和你一模一样，也有这么蓝的眼白，就好像没有一片云的天空。妈妈生病了，和爸爸一起去北京治病。我一个人，站在风里。那一天，我穿的就是你现在穿的这身衣服啊。”我指指那套在小田身上因为肥大而晃荡来晃荡去的运动服。 小田回转身子，合起我的双掌，“如果可以，我多么希望你可以把那些都忘记啊。这样，你就会永远开心，没有任何一丝不快的回忆打扰到你。许多人都会把小时候的自己给忘掉，你……也忘记吧。” “忘掉？你不就是我的过去吗？忘记了你，不就等于失去了最珍贵的记忆吗？” “不是那样的，”小田轻轻摇头，“你并不是由我变化而来的。长大的，只是身体，可是心却在会在某一个时刻停止生长。然后，在一个你睡着的夜晚里，悄悄走出来。这颗属于孩子的心就会走去你永远也不会知道的地方。像一朵被风吹乱了的蒲公英那样，轻轻飞到远方……” “可是，你明明就在那里啊。我总感觉得到你。仿佛我一伸出手就能触到你的头发，你并没有离开我啊。” “那时因为，你心中有着小小的，缺陷下去的一角。那里贮满了所有伤害到了你的人和事。那小小的一角于是就有了尖利的棱角，总会无意中弄痛你。每一次痛楚，那小小的角里就会滚入一滴眼泪。慢慢地，水银一般的泪珠汇成一片小小的湖。那儿，就是我的家啦。被那片湖困住的心是无法离开的啊。” “难道，你只是一个灵魂？是一缕记忆？” “是的，每一个人都拥有这样的一个灵魂。但是，拥有快乐的童年的人永远都不会看到这个灵魂，因为，他们的灵魂会带着笑容飞升、飞升，一直飘到天上去。会化成某一片云，低头俯视着他们自己继续快乐地行走在大地上。” “那你呢？你居住的那片泪湖，就是我的心吧？那片森林是我的记忆？” 小田轻轻摇头“并不完全是你的记忆啊。每一个孩子在成人时都会抛弃掉他童年时的自己，森林，就是用每一个被遗忘的童年拼凑起来的。有每一个人的记忆，也有那些只有孩子们才会拥有的想象。” “也就是说，这是一个被遗忘的国度？” “是的，在这里，每一件事情都是曾经真实发生过的。而每一个人居住的地方，则是因为每个孩子想象中的最完美的居所。” “我早该想到的啊，从看到沈鱼欺负你的那一刻起，我就在怀疑你就是我自己了。因为，因为，你知道，背负着这些记忆有多痛苦吗？我不想忘记自己的仇恨，我怕一忘记，我的生活就失去目标，我怕一忘记，我就再也没有强烈的感情存在。如果每天只是重复着醒来和睡去的过程，活着又有什么意义？” “可是，我并没有恨过谁哪。仇恨，是只有大人才会有的东西吧？” “是啊，当我大起来，开始懂事些时，我便不断为你感到不公。我想要强大起来，我要用自己的双手去惩治那些伤害了我的人，为了这个，我才不断提醒自己，不要忘记有人曾经那样狠狠地伤害过我，像用刀子插进胸口一样……”我开始哽咽，呼吸渐渐被泪水所打乱，“我不原谅，绝对、绝对不原谅，他们那样对待你……” 那一双小小的手擦起了我脸上泪水，“我不想你这样的啊。你，这么多年来，一定很痛苦的吧？活在仇恨里，是一件折磨人的事啊。你知道我多羡慕那些云彩吗？”小田仰起脸来，我也抬头望去，棉花一般松软的大片云团漂浮在天空，缓缓地、缓缓地舒展，“同样都是灵魂，它们可以看着未来的自己生活在快乐和温暖中，而我，却要看着你痛苦地揪着自己的衣服，每当那时，湖里便有无数颗泪珠涌进，我要不断浮出水面才可以不至于被淹没啊。” “对……对不起！”我弯下腰，将脸埋在自己的手掌中，“如果我可以保护你就好了，让我一直留在森林，保护你吧。只要我和你在一起，把那些会让你和我都痛苦的记忆在发生之前就抹掉……” “你已经做到了啊，”那温柔的声音从头顶开始将我覆盖，暖暖的，如同一捧阳光，“谢谢你，是因为你，我才会知道自己仍然有人惦记着。你留给我的勇气我会永远珍藏在心里。现在，你该回去了。在你的世界里，你的身体一直都在沉睡。再不回去的话，你将永远也不会醒来了。” “不，不要让我走好吗？我答应过你的事还没有做到呢！我还没有帮你找到笑呢！” “我的笑不在这里的啊，因为一直以来，我的笑就丢在……” 什……么…… 我的意识突然开始模糊起来，小田的脸渐渐如同被融化在水里一般，而她的声音，更被风吹得断断续续，我再也没能听清楚。 雪是蓝色的，翅膀划破天际，羽翼碎裂，纷纷披落，覆盖住大地，将所有伤痛和污迹掩盖住，宛如初生一般的纯净。 小田的手从我掌间轻轻抽出，双手环住耳朵，侧着头，闪亮的眼睛示意我跟着她做，“听，风的心脏在鼓动。” 她正站在一个雪人前。那还是在小田来的前一天，我用了一个下午堆起来的。 This is my world.我所居住的这座城市已经下了一个星期的暴雪，雪片如同被切割得极薄的水晶，自鸽灰色的天空缓缓降临。我和小田一起抬头，凝视着渺远的天空许久许久。 不断有人从我身边走过，微笑着对我打招呼。间或有人挖起一团雪，揉成一个球，抡起胳膊，用力扔出……啪地，那雪球在我身上四散开来，碎成洁白的粉末。那都是我最好的朋友，她们笑着的脸庞一跳一跳，盛开在小田的眼睛里。 “大家，对你真好啊！”小田深深地望着我，“我真开心，原来十六年后的我自己，是这么棒的一个人哪！” "Hey?" “一直以来，当我躲在你的心湖里，挣扎着不要被淹没时，我总是想看看你，长大后的我自己。我多么希望你会快乐地、无忧无虑地过着每一天啊。因为，我一碰到难过的事时，就会安慰自己'也许等我长大后，就会好起来的吧'。”小田的嘴角慢慢上扬，化成一朵真实的，甜甜的笑容，“我真高兴，因为，的确好起来了啊，长大后的你，跟我想像中的一样好啊。” “哎？”我一下子愣住了，她的笑容，我们一直都在寻找的东西，竟然来得这么突然。 “答应我，每一天都要微笑啊。因为，你看，有那么多人喜欢着你啊……只要你幸福，我就会笑的啊！”小田将我的手牵起，触着自己的脸庞，我的手指感受到了她每一寸因笑而牵引起来的皮肤。不知怎的，我的眼睛竟是一片湿润。 “等到阳光升到那树枝上时，我就该走了啊。”小田仰起头，深深呼吸，然后就盯着我们头顶的一根树枝发起呆来，“雪……就快化了呢。” “什么？跟雪有什么关系？” “我是从这里来的哦，”小田指指我堆的那个雪人。雪人，用柚子皮做帽子，用蓝色的矿泉水瓶盖做眼睛，用干枯的柳条做嘴唇，用冬青叶做衣服。“你在堆它的时候，是在想着我的吧。你把它堆成了你脑海中的，我的模样。所以，我才可以借由它来到你的世界里。当雪化掉的时候，我就不能留在这里了啊。” “不要……不要走！” 小田微微笑着，“妈妈，她的病好了吗？” 我拼命点头，“她很好！她现在很健康，头也不痛了，也不用一大把一大把地吃药了……” “太好了！”小田泪光一闪，“妈妈做的鸡蛋羹真好吃啊，下次，你能帮我多吃些吗？” “你跟我回家去，你自己吃，好吗？” “没有时间了啊……你，也能帮我跟妈妈说一句话么？请告诉她，我……爱她啊！你能紧紧抱住她，然后轻轻在她耳边说出这句话吗？” “恩！”我拼命点头，眼泪胡乱落下来，扯住小田的衣角不肯放手。 “啊，阳光……”小田抬起头，如霞的日光将她裹在一片玫瑰红的薄浪里。 “不要哭了啊！”小田那细细的声音响起来，一双手环住了我，“请你，笑着送我走，好吗？” 我抬起头，努力一笑，却比哭还难看。 “谢谢你……我真的，该走了。”那双小小的手一点一点融化，从指尖开始，化成温润的雪水。在我手心里的缝隙中流落，带了些许的余温，一滴一滴硕大的珠子缓缓地坠落。 “我……还能再见到你吗？”我大声地、颤抖着问。 小田的身体渐渐变得透明，薄得像一张玻璃糖纸。在一阵急过的风里，她羽毛一般飞起，长长的头发散开来，眼睛明亮，始终向下注视着我。一片宁静。 “我就在那里啊，我会一直、一直活在你的心里啊……” 那声音终于微弱得几乎听不到，化成一段落寞的音符，混合在往来的风声中。 突然，无数个影子从雪人里、小草里、树里，钻出来，一齐飞升。他们笑着，向我摆着手，我知道，他们每一个，都是一个小小的灵魂，和小田一样的，半透明的灵魂。 孩子们唱着歌谣，手拉手向清晨的天空飞去了…… 云朵，连绵涌来，洁白、洁白。