Chapter 13 12.In classrooms

Stuart went to the shop while Dr. Carey worked on the little car.Because he thought that since he was going on a long car trip, he should buy some suitable clothes.He came to a toy store, where there were quite a few items that were perfectly suitable for him, including new luggage, coats, shirts, and other small things.He was happy to buy each of these items.He slept in the doctor's apartment that night. The next day, because he was afraid of traffic jams on the road, Stuart got up very early.He figured it would be wise to hit the road before too many cars and trucks came out.He drove through Central Park to 110th Street, then crossed the parkway west and continued north along Sawmill Boulevard by the river.His small car ran very smartly, which attracted the attention of some passers-by, but Stuart didn't care at all.He'd been careful not to push that button again that had caused so much trouble yesterday.He decided never to touch that button again.

Just as the sun was rising, Stuart saw a man sitting there meditating on the side of the road.Stuart pulled his car aside and poked his head out. "Are you worried about something?" Stuart asked. "Yes," said the tall man. "Can I help you?" Stuart asked kindly. The man shook his head. "I guess that's a tough job," he replied. "You don't know, I'm the school inspector in this city." "It wasn't a hard job," Stuart said. "It's a boring job, but it's not hard to do." "Well," the man went on, "I'm always having problems I can't solve. Today, for example, one of my teachers was sick—she's Miss Gunderson. She teaches at Elementary Seven. I've got to find A substitute teacher will do."

"What's wrong with her?" asked Stuart. "I can't tell. The doctor said she might have Rhine diamond disease," answered the inspector. ① "Can you find another teacher?" Stuart asked. "No, that's impossible. No one in this city knows everything anymore. There are no teachers to hire. There's nothing left. School starts in an hour." "I'd be glad to be Miss Gunderson's tutor for a day, if you like," said Stuart cheerfully. The superintendent raised his head. "real?" "Of course," said Stuart. "I'm willing to help." He opened the car door and walked out.He came to the back of the car, opened the hood, and took out his handbag. "If I'm going to run a class in a classroom, I'd better take off my driving attire and put on something decent," he said.Stuart slipped into the bushes at the side of the road and came out a few minutes later in a salt and pepper jacket, old-fashioned striped trousers, a Windsor tie, and glasses.He folded all the other clothes and put them back in his handbag.

"Do you think you can manage them?" asked the inspector. "Of course I can," Stuart replied. "I'm going to make my lectures very interesting, so you don't have to worry about no one listening to me. You don't have to worry about me." The man shook his hand and thanked him. At 8:45, the students of the seventh primary school had already arrived at school.When they didn't see Miss Gunderson, they happily guessed that a substitute teacher would be coming today. "A substitute teacher!" some people whispered to each other. "A substitute teacher, a substitute teacher!"

The word spread quickly, and before long everyone knew that at least today there would be no need to suffer from Miss Gunderson's lecture, because she would be taught by a substitute teacher whom she had never seen before. Stuart arrives at school at nine o'clock.He parked his car neatly by the school gate and strode bravely into the classroom, climbing onto the platform by a yardstick leaning against Miss Gunderson's platform.On it he found an inkwell, a pointer, some pens and pencils, a bottle of ink, some chalk, a bell, two hairpins, and three or four stacked books.Stuart nimbly climbed up the stack of books and jumped on the button of the bell.He has just the right weight to knock the bell out.Then he climbed down quickly again, walked to the front of the podium, and said:

"Attention everyone!" Boys and girls crowded forward to see the substitute teacher.Everyone immediately whispered to each other, and it seemed that they were all very happy.The girls grinned and the boys laughed.Seeing such a small, beautiful and well-dressed teacher, everyone's eyes shone with surprise. "Attention everyone!" Stuart repeated. "You know, Miss Gunderson is sick, so I'm here to teach her." "What's wrong with her?" Roy Hart asked eagerly. "Vitamin disorder," Stuart replied. "When she needed vitamin A she took vitamin D by mistake and she took vitamin B when she was deficient in vitamin C. So she messed up her body with too much vitamin B2, B1, B12, ③ and even Vitamin B6, the nutrient most needed by humans, is completely absent in her body. Now we start class!" He gave the children a stern glare, scaring them from asking any more questions about Miss Gunderson.

"Everyone go back to their seats now!" Stuart ordered.The students obediently walked back to their seats from the aisle, and soon the classroom fell silent.Stuart cleared his throat.He clutched the lapel of one of his suits, trying to look more like a professor, before he began again: "Is anyone absent from class?" The students shook their heads together. "Is anyone late?" They still shook their heads. "Very well," said Stuart, "what do you usually have your first class in the morning?" "Arithmetic," the children shouted.

"I hate arithmetic!" said Stuart sullenly. "Let's get another one." The suggestion elicited wild howls.Everyone in the class seemed especially willing to cancel arithmetic in the morning. "Then what should you learn?" Stuart asked. "Spelling," the children called. "Well," said Stuart, "anyone is offended by a misspelled word. I think it's important to be able to spell a word correctly, so I strongly urge every one of you to buy a Webster's copy." A dictionary, you can go to it for no matter how small your spelling problem is. That's all I have to say about spelling. What's next?"

The students hadn't recovered from the excitement of canceling the arithmetic class, and they were crazy with joy when they heard that the spelling class was over so easily.They shouted ecstatically, looked at each other excitedly, waved handkerchiefs and rulers and laughed, while some boys took advantage of the chaos and threw small balls of paper at some girls. ⑤ Stuart had to climb up the pile of books again, jump down and ring the bell again to restore order. "What's next?" he repeated. "Write," shouted the students. "My God," said Stuart disgustedly, "don't the kids know how to write?"

"Of course we know!" Everyone yelled in unison. "That's enough, next," said Stuart. "Sociality is next," Elizabeth Gardner yelled excitedly. "Social class? Never heard of it," Stuart said. "Let's stop studying these messy lessons this morning, isn't it good for us to talk casually here?" The students looked at each other expectantly. "Can we talk about what it's like to hold a snake and have it coiled around your wrist?" Arthur Greenlaw asked. "Yes, but I don't like to talk about it," Stuart replied.

"Can we talk about sin and evil?" Lydia Lacey begged. "No," said Stuart. "Let's talk about something else." "Can we talk about that fat woman in the circus with every hair falling down to her chin?" begged Isidore Feinberg, still remembering it. "No," said Stuart. "Let me tell you, we can talk about the King of the World." He looked around confidently, wondering if the kids liked the subject. "There's no such thing as a king of the world," said Harry Jamison with disgust. "Who disagrees?" said Stuart. "There seems to be only one objection." "Kings have long been out of fashion," Harry said. "Okay, okay, let's talk about world leaders. Without leaders, the world is in chaos. I want to be the world's leaders." "You're too young," said Mary Bendis. "Oh, prejudice!" said Stuart. "It doesn't matter how tall or short you are. It's aptitude and ability that matter. A leader must be able to know what's important. How many of you know what's important." All hands are raised. "Very well," said Stuart, crossing one leg leisurely over the other, and thrusting his hands into his coat pockets. "Henry Rackham, what do you tell us is important?" "The last ray of sunlight before dusk ends, the melody of a piece of music, the smell of sweat on the back of a child's neck if his mother wants him to be clean," Henry replied. "Correct," said Stuart. "Those are very important things. But you forget one thing. Mary Bendis, what did Henry Rackham forget?" "He forgot to mention chocolate chip ice cream," Mary Bendis replied without thinking. "Exactly," said Stuart. "Ice cream is an important thing too. Now, if I were the leader of the world this morning, we'd have to make some laws, or everyone would do his own thing, and everything would be out of order. If we To play this game, you have to make laws, can anyone make some good laws for this world?" Albert Forstall raised his hand. "Don't eat mushrooms, they can be poisonous," advises Albert. "That's not a law," said Stuart, "it's just a well-intentioned advice. It's good advice, Albert, but advice and law are different. Laws are more serious than advice. Laws are very Seriously. Who can make a law for the world?" "No stealing," said John Podock gravely. "Very well," said Stuart. "Good law." "Don't poison anything except big rats," said Anthony Brundisi. "That's not good," said Stuart. "It's not fair to the rats. A law should be fair to everyone." Anthony Brundisi looked annoyed. "But big rats aren't fair to us," he said. "Big rats are annoying." "I know," said Stuart. "But poison is nasty when viewed through the eyes of a rat. A leader has to see things holistically." "You have the eye of a rat, don't you?" Anthony asked. "You look a bit like a big mouse." "No," replied Stuart, "I have more of a mouse's eye, which is very different. I see things more holistically. Obviously, in my opinion, the social status of the big mouse is too great." Low, they're never allowed to show up in public." "Big rats don't like to be seen," says Agnes Belenka. "That's because whenever they come out, someone beats them. Big rats might like to come out, too, if they're allowed. Can anyone suggest another law?" Agnes Berenka raised her hand. "There should be a law against war." "Impractical," Stuart said. "People like war, but you can think of a milder law, Agnes." "No fighting?" Agnes asked timidly.Stuart shook his head. "Don't try to fight at all," advises Mildred Hofkin. "It's a good law," Stuart said. "When I became the leader, anyone who tried to use force against others would be arrested." "That won't work either," reminded Herbert Prendergast. "Some people are just born with the desire. Albert Forstall always wants to beat me up." "I didn't say it would work," Stuart said. "However, it's a good law worth a try. We're going to try it out here now. Gotta get someone to do something to somebody that's going to start a fight. Harry Jamieson, you're going to Catherine Stableble Ford does this. Now, wait a minute, what are you holding, Catherine?" "A lovely little sachet of balsamic." "Is it the one advertised in the phrase 'I'm haggard for you, I'm fragrant for you'?" "Yes," said Catherine. "Do you cherish it very much?" asked Stuart. "Yes, of course," said Catherine. "OK, Harry, grab it!" Harry ran to Catherine's seat, snatched the sachet from her hand, and ran back to his seat, Catherine screaming. "Now," said Stuart in a merciless tone, "wait a minute, my friends, your leaders are going to look up the law books!" He pretended to be flipping through a book. "Let's see. Page 492. 'No thoughts of hitting at all'. Page 560, 'No stealing of anything'. Harry Jamison has broken two laws—the one that prohibits fighting and the one that prohibits The one that was stolen. Let's get Harry in order before he gets the idea of ​​hitting someone! Come on!" Stuart ran to the yardstick and slid down it like a firefighter climbing a resident training post.He ran to Harry, and the other kids jumped out of their seats and ran down the aisle to Harry.Stuart ordered Harry to return the sachet, and Harry looked terrified, although he knew it was just an experiment.He returned the sachet to Catherine. "Look, this law is well enforced," said Stuart. "A law against the thought of hitting is a good law," he wiped his face with his handkerchief, too hot to wield the power of a world leader.This position made him run around constantly, and he was far more tired than he could have imagined.Catherine was very happy when she got her sachet back. "Let me see that sachet," said Stuart.He also became curious.Catherine showed him the sachet.It was almost as tall as Stuart, and it occurred to Stuart what a sweet bed this thing would be for him.He began to want to keep it for himself. "This thing is beautiful," Stuart tried to suppress his possessive desire. "Do you want to sell it?" "Oh, not for sale," Catherine replied. "It was a gift from someone else." "I guess it was bought for you by a boy you met at Hopatcong Lake last spring, and you'll think of him when you see it," guessed Stuart Hu. "Yes, he did," said Catherine, blushing. "Ah," said Stuart, "what a wonderful summer, isn't it, Catherine?" "Yeah, last summer was the best summer of my life." "I can imagine," Stuart replied. "You really don't want to sell this sachet?" Catherine shook her head. "I don't blame you," Stuart replied quickly. "I just want to remind you that summer is as important as the last ray of sunshine before dusk ends." "Or the melody of a piece of music," says Elizabeth Gardner. "Or the smell of sweat on the back of a kid's neck if his mother wants him to be clean," Marilyn Roberts said. Stuart sighed. "Never forget your summer, my dear," he said. "Okay, it's time for me to go. Nice to meet you all. get out of class is over!" Stuart strode to the door and climbed into the car.The children all ran out and shouted to him: "Good-bye, by-bye, by-bye!" Stuart waved to them, said goodbye, and then drove the car straight north.The children all wished for a teacher who would replace Miss Gunderson every day. Note ①: The inspector must have misheard here.What the doctor said might be (rhinitis) rhinitis, so he heard it as Rhinestones, and Rhinestones is a kind of artificial crystal diamond. Note ②: Pepper-and-salt (Pepper-and-salt), black and white, finely intertwined colors.Windsor tie (Windsor tie), a silk wide tie. Note ③: There is a word called Hydrochloride in this nonsense with almost no punctuation.I asked a friend, and Mantis said that it might refer to the hydrochloride form of some vitamin.I casually translated it into B12 here. Note ④: Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. Note ⑤: The original text of this kind of paper balls is Spit balls, that is, small paper balls glued with saliva - don't say you don't know, you may have done it in the past. Note ⑥: The original text of this sentence is "Fish feathers!" I didn't understand what it meant, so I had to translate it casually. Note ⑦⑧: In English, Rat is used to refer to a big mouse, and Mouse is used to refer to an ordinary mouse.That's why Stuart had this excuse. Note ⑨: I did not find any information about this Hopatcong Lake.