Chapter 17 Chapter Seventeen

It is not for the reader's benefit to be aware of the following.Before Mr. Crab left Plunder City, he had made an agreement with Big Octopus. In his report, he would not directly mention the names of Little Blink and Big Liar, but call them in another way, for example, call them villains and liars hand or donkey.For the sake of confidentiality.That is to say, in order to keep one's own actions from being known to others, it is necessary to do so.For the rich lords of Raven City (like the rich lords of all other cities) spied on each other, tapped telephones, and bribed post office clerks to steal the contents of other people's letters and telegrams.They do this to facilitate their own business and to deceive each other.Mr. Big Octopus knew that if other rich men found out that he was negotiating with Little Blink and Big Liar, some would think he seemed interested in big plant stocks.As a result, everyone will scramble to buy such stocks in large quantities, and only the big liars and small winks will benefit from it.

Mr. Big Octopus remembered sending Crab on his errands, so he was not at all surprised when he received a telegram like the one below. The telegram said: "Two donkeys cost two million. What to do? Little crab." After reading this line, Mr. Big Octopus understood that what he was talking about here was not at all the common four-legged, long-eared animals that everyone knew, but Little Wink and the Big Liar.Little Crab calls them both donkeys just to confuse those nosy people. Mr. Big Octopus thought about the content of this telegram, and then called the female secretary, and told her to send a telegram to Little Crab: "Delay time. Hold them by the nose. I will hold a big madman meeting." .big octopus."

The meaning of the words "delaying time" and "holding the nose" is probably understood by everyone; as for the words "holding a big madman meeting", it means that Mr. Big Octopus will hold a meeting of the capitalists' council to discuss Little Blink and Great liar advice. It should be noted that all the wealthy people living in the various cities of the moon have formed a group called the Arrogant Society.For example, there is the Cheese Mania, which is attended by all the cheese factory owners; there is the Sugar Mania, which unites all the sugar mill owners;The rich would need this arrogance in order to control the workers and squeeze as much profit as possible out of them.The capitalists got together and negotiated how much to pay the workers.Because of the collusion of the capitalists.None of them overpaid the workers above the mutually agreed amount, and the workers, no matter how hard they worked, could not improve their living conditions.In addition, the Arrogant Society fixes the prices of products: for example, the prices of sugar, bread, cheese, textiles, coal.No one has the right to sell goods below what madness will fix, so prices are always kept high, which is still very beneficial to the manufacturers.

In addition to the individual so-called Little Madness Association, there is also a so-called Great Madness Association, which is attended by representatives of all the Little Madness Associations.The chairman of the Big Madness Club is Mr. Big Octopus. One day after the female secretary notified all the members of the Great Madness to hold a meeting, they all gathered around a large round table in Mr. Big Octopus's office. Mr. Big Octopus explained the reason for the emergency meeting.Hearing that the large plants were a serious threat to them, the members of the Arrogant Society became excited and agreed with Mr. Big Octopus's suggestion that the large plants must be killed when the matter was still in its infancy, that is, before it fully developed.

After Mr. Big Octopus, Oakhead, the owner of the furniture factory and owner of several lumber factories, spoke.What made him famous was his heavy head, which seemed to be chipped from oak lumps, which turned awkwardly to and fro, looking down with difficulty.The moon people used to call the dwarfs with such heads oak-headed melons.Mr. Oakhead said he had two very able, even some kind of geniuses (that's how Mr. Oakhead phrased it) who could do the job and do it. Get rid of the little wink and the big liar, and get rid of the unknown and the little goat with a little bit. "The two of them can kill them in some dark corner with a small reward, to put it mildly, to kill them, to put it bluntly, to kill them." Mr. Oakhead clarified his thoughts.

Mr. Big Octopus said that Mr. Oakhead obviously didn't understand him, because when he said to kill things in the bud, he didn't mean to kill anyone in the original sense of the word. "Such measures are useless in the present situation," said Mr. Big Octopus. "Because the matter has been widely publicized, for someone to take such drastic measures against the small winks and the big liars, it will only increase the interest in large plants, and hasten the acquisition of large plant stocks from the surface of the moon. the speed of the seeds, so that our efforts would be fruitless. What needs to be killed is the very idea of ​​the existence of large plants, that is, to try to dissuade anyone from believing in such fanciful seeds. Little Blink and Big crooks can do that if they get away with the money from the stock sale."

"Then why haven't they run away yet? Don't they really want these ridiculous seeds to appear here?" The capitalist's stupid head asked a question. In any case, the capitalist's stupid head can't be classified as a kind of dwarf who is commonly known as an oak-headed melon, because his head is very elegant and can turn around flexibly, but it can be seen that he thinks like an oak tree. As dull as Mr. Head. "I think Little Wink and Big Liar are two big tricksters," replied Mr. Big Octopus. "They understand that if they take the seeds and get away from here, it will be extremely beneficial to all of us, so they ask us for three million."

"Three million what?" asked the conservative factory miser, jumping up from his seat. The miser was a sallow, gaunt little man who looked like a dried fish.His eyes, too, were dull like those of a sleeping fish, and only came alive when the conversation was about money.This is how it is now. As soon as the miser heard the word "three million", uneasy eyes flashed in his eyes, and he jumped up extremely nimbly, as if someone had stabbed him suddenly from behind. "Hey, what is three million!" The big octopus replied impatiently. "Not three million galoshes, of course, but three million Fieldings."

"Oh, that's right!" exclaimed Mr. Miser, as if he only now understood what he was talking about. "So, we have to give them three million?" "Exactly," confirmed Mr. Octopus. "We give it to them." "Didn't they give it to us?" "No, no. They don't give it to us, we give it to them." "It won't do us any good," declared Scrooge. "If they give us three million it's good, if we give them--no good." "Why are they giving us three million?" retorted Mr. Octopus. "Yes, for no reason."

The miser's eyes dimmed again.He sat down on his seat, jumped up immediately, shook his head vigorously, and said, "Anyway... this is extremely useless!" Next to Scrooge was the billionaire Greedy, a resident of the lunar city of Liar City.He said: "Mr. Miser is right. It's hard to take money when you can't, but it's easier to try to get it out of your own pocket and into someone else's when you need it... ...am I right?" Mr. Greedy Ghost squinted at the rich men sitting around the table, laughed loudly, and then continued: "Three million is undoubtedly a very large number, it goes without saying, but if the money is divided among all the rich men , including the little rich man, then each person can’t spend so much money. And the little rich man, as you know, has more money than the big rich man (you know, don’t there always be more small things in the world than big things? Ha-ha-ha!)... In this way, what can be collected is not three million, but four million, or even more. Let's give the three million to the two adventurous guys, Little Wink and Big Liar , Let them go, we keep the rest of the money as labor compensation. Am I right?..."

"No!" interrupted the big octopus. "We've been collecting money from small rich people, and people will know why we're doing it. People will understand that rich people don't want fancy plants like this. Then you try to prove that there are no big plants. No, Gentlemen, we are the only ones who are supposed to pay for this thing, everyone here. No one else—get it? No one else—no one should know what we're talking about here. And you, greedy You should be ashamed, sir! This is a matter of our property, and at this very moment you are thinking only of gaining ill-gotten gains, of getting an extra hundred and eighty Fieldings. No shame!" "Then what's the matter," said Mr. Greedy, waving his hand, "one hundred and eighty Zaldins, what... one hundred and eighty Fieldings is one hundred and eighty Fieldings. Am I right? ... Hundred Eighty Fieldings don't fall on the road in vain. Don't you need a hundred and eighty Fieldings? Give me if you don't. Am I right?" The millionaire murmured for a long time about the hundred and eighty Fielding, but finally restrained himself.Mr. Octopus thought the matter was all discussed, but at this moment Mr. Miser asked to speak.He was the proprietor of the largest macaroni and noodle factory, called the Scrooge's Macaroni Factory. Like Mr. Greedy, Mr. Scrooge is from Liar City.It should be noted that no one in Liar City is as famous as the Greedy and Miser.It should also be mentioned, in the interest of justice, that neither of them owed their fame to any good deeds, but to sheer avarice.As for which of the two people is more greedy, the residents of Liar City can't get a consistent opinion, and there are often disputes between them.If anyone asserts that the miser is more greedy, there is another dwarf who proves that the greedier is the greedy one.Both sides of the argument cite hundreds of examples to prove themselves right, and each calls for witnesses and eyewitnesses who have been victimized in some degree by this or that greedy man, and more and more little men are gradually involved Arguments often have to end in fights. Greedy and Miser are completely similar in character but opposite in appearance.It is not for nothing that the reader knows this.Greedy Ghost looks like Mr. Octopus.The difference is that his face is somewhat wider than that of Mr. Octopus, and his nose is slightly narrower.Mr. Big Octopus has neat ears, but Greedy Man's ears are very large, and they are staggered to the sides, which makes his face look wider.As for the miser, on the contrary, he looked more like a miser; the same thin face like a dried fish, only more withered, if it can be described as such; angry.Unlike Scrooge.Mr. Miser is completely bald, that is, there is no hair on his head; the dry skin covers his skull so tightly that it seems that his head is full of bones.His lips were thin and bloodless.Moreover, his voice is extremely unpleasant: high-pitched, trembling, and crackling.When he spoke, it seemed as if someone had climbed on the roof and scratched the rusted tin plate with a blunt knife. Mr. Miser's ears are as big as those of Mr. Scrooge's, but his hearing is very bad.He always felt that someone was asking something, so he kept turning his head around, put his palms to his ears, and squealed obnoxiously, "Huh? What??...Did you say anything? I'm a little I didn't hear clearly..." Although no one wanted to ask him any questions. Anyone who sees Mr. Scrooge for the first time will never believe that he is standing before a millionaire, because he is so thin.But it should be said that the reason Mr. Miser is so thin is not because he has nothing to eat, but because he is too stingy.Whenever he had to spend a Fielding, he was so distressed and distressed by his miserliness that he lost weight.In order to make up for this loss, he eats four breakfasts, four lunches, and four dinners a day, but he still can't gain weight, because he always thinks that he spends too much money on food, which makes him restless. Mr. Scrooge knows very well that his greed and miserliness affect his health, but he has nothing to do with his dog temper (so he calls it himself).Somehow he always thought that his already large fortune should be constantly increasing, and that if he could add a Fielding to his capital, he would jump for joy; and whenever he had to spend a Fielding Every now and then, he would be downcast, feeling that the end of the world was coming, that all Fieldings would soon fly away from his safe under the action of an evil force, and he would change from a rich man to a beggar. If it is said that other rich men completely control their money and use it for pleasure, then it can be said that the money has completely controlled him for the miser.He is completely under the dominion of money, the tame servant of his own money.He saves, maintains, and accumulates his capital in every possible way, but he does himself no good, even the slightest. However, no one thought that there was anything particularly abnormal in the behavior of Scrooge, since such behavior was regarded as natural in a society where money was most prized, and it never occurred to anyone that Mr. Scrooge should have been taken to See a doctor and treat him as carefully as a man insane. Mr. Scrooge stood up after asking for the floor, put his glasses on his nose, and began to rub his palms on the bald crown, as if trying to heat up the frozen thoughts in his head.At this moment, he felt as if someone was talking, so he habitually put one hand next to his ear, turned his head around, and said in a rusty creaking voice: "Ah? ... what? ...Do you seem to have said something? ...I didn't hear you clearly...huh?" But he reassured himself when he saw that they were all sitting in silence, and said: "Gentlemen, listen carefully to what I say, for I cannot repeat it to the deaf. Huh? . . . Don't interrupt me, everybody... Well, what am I going to say?... Um! Ah! Bah! Forgot!..." Gentlemen, no one knows what I am going to say? He turned around and muttered to himself, "Yeah!"Pooh!There are so many donkeys around, but no one knows what I want to say! ……what! he said suddenly, and struck the floor with his cane, which had a bony stud at the top, and which he always carried in his hand. "It's about that, about money!"What else can I say?Of course it is about money.Pooh!Say the damn three million, let them go to hell! ...Who said it would cost three million, huh?What did the little crab say?But who is he, your little crab?He's a liar, you little crab!Why, I don't understand little crabs, huh? ...I know all of them very well!All people are liars!Please don't interrupt me! ... If the little crab said it would cost four million, would you pay four million?ah?Please don't interrupt!I didn't interrupt you!This is probably all thought up by the little crab, so that you can put three million in your pocket, right?You don't know, but I do! ... Please don't interrupt me!I'm going up to Crush City right now, and I'll talk to Little Wink and Big Liar myself.Let them fuck off for free!It's not enough that they sold stocks for a lot of money, they also want to take our pockets!This is robbery!I want to tell them!I'll hit them in the face with my cane! " With that, Mr. Miser swung his bone-topped stick, tapped it on the floor, and squeezed away from the table, so that he could go at once to Squeeze City to find Little Wink and Great Liar. The capitalists sitting next to him jumped up to comfort him, but he was unwilling to calm down, and swung his cane vigorously, and several capitalists were hit hard a few times.At last they put him in a chair and put a cold compress on his head, and he calmed down somewhat. Mr. Octopus, seeing that order had been restored, thought that the meeting could go on, and said: "I think, gentlemen, you all understand that this is a very delicate matter. It must be settled at once, at once. It's only doing us a disservice if we all go to Squeeze City to haggle over our debts with Blinky and Big Liar, who'll demand more from us as soon as they realize we're desperate to get rid of them. Frankly, Blink and Liar are two fools for asking so little from us. Let's take advantage of this before they change their minds. I suggest that you stop haggling over trivial matters and take a quick decision. Here There are thirty-one members of our Great Madness. Divide three million by thirty-one, and that's less than a hundred thousand Fielding each. To each of us, this is a small sum. "Gentlemen!" cried the Scrooge, jumping up and down. "Gentlemen, why do you divide three million by thirty-one? It's not easy! Three million by thirty is much easier. Don't count me out. There are exactly thirty of you. Three hundred Dividing ten thousand by thirty makes exactly one hundred thousand each. This way you won't waste time calculating, and time, as we all know, is more expensive than money, because money can be regained, but lost time is no matter what. I can't get it back..." The miser squeezed out from the table as he spoke, and just walked towards the door with a damp cloth on his head. Seeing this situation, the big octopus shouted: "Stop him! Don't let him run away!" Several capitalists rushed to catch the miser, but he showed unusual agility. He knocked down the owner of many hotels, Mr. Bad Ghost, who was blocking the way, kicked open the door, and walked down the stairs. Boom ran down. Mr. Big Octopus saw that the capitalist miser and the greedy man were also pushing out from the table, apparently wanting to slip away, so he ordered the female secretary to lock the door, and said: "Gentlemen, we should first condemn this indecent behavior, and Get the miser out of the membership of our organization. No one should have anything to do with him from now on. He will soon understand that he violated our system, and after being expelled from the Pride Society, he loses There's a lot more to it than he imagined...and now, gentlemen, maybe there are still people who want to go with the miser?..." Mr. Big Octopus glanced at the conference table and saw that no one wanted to slip away, so he concluded: "If not, then let's stop wasting time and let's pay." All the rich men pulled their checkbooks and fountain pens out of their pockets.As we all know, capitalists never pay in cash, but write checks, and they can withdraw money at the bank at any time.