Chapter 12 little john ten

He hadn't fully woken up when he had a slight awareness that something special had happened in his sleep.But he didn't want to know, he didn't want to look around.He wants to return to the dream that is slowly disappearing like a lazy smoke - in which Rong'er visited him again, and as before, stroking his hair - in which he was in Youchi again In the garden, he saw his father and Presto. "Oh! This hurts! Who did it?" John opened his eyes, and in the dawn he saw a small figure near by, and felt a hand pulling his hair.He was lying on the bed, the morning light was meager and average, like in a room.

But the face bent over him awakened in him all the misery and all the melancholy of yesterday.This is a piercing face, less ghostly and more human, but still as abominable and terrifying as last night. "Oh, no! Let me dream," he begged. But persuasively shook him: "Are you crazy, slob? Dreams are insanity, and you can't get away there. A man has to work, think, seek,—so he is a man!" "I would rather not be a human being, I want to dream!" "Then you cannot be saved. You should. Now that you are under my watch, you must work and think with me. Only with me can you find what you want. And until you find that So far, I don't want to leave you."

From this appearance, John felt infinite fear.However, he seemed to be suppressed and forced by an irresistible force.He surrendered unconsciously. Gangfu, trees and flowers are gone.He was in a narrow, twilight hut—he could see outside, and as far as he could see, there were houses after houses, arranged in a long row, dim and blurry. The smoke rose here and there in heavy rings, and fell on the street like a light brown mist.The streets are bustling with people, like big black ants.The roar of chaos and chaos rose up from the crowd. "Look, John!" said Chuck, "isn't it a little nice? Here are all the people and all the houses, as far away as you can see—farther than the blue tower—and full of People, from the bottom to the top. Isn't that worth noting? It's quite different from an ant heap."

John listened with terrified curiosity, as if someone had shown him a great, terrible monstrosity.He seemed to be standing on the back of this big monster, and he seemed to see black blood flowing through thick blood vessels, and dark breath rising from hundreds of nostrils.Before the ominous roar of that terrible voice, it terrorized him. "Look how people are running, John," continued Chuan Chiu. "You can tell they're running and looking for something, can't you? That's funny, he's looking for something, and no one quite knows. If they're looking for a while, they meet someone, the name It's called Eternal..."

"Who is that?" John asked. "One of my good acquaintances, I was about to introduce you to him. Then always said: 'Are you looking for me?' Most probably replied: 'Oh, no, I didn't think of you!' But never Finally, they retorted: 'You can't find anything else but me.' So they just have to be content with each other forever." John understood that he was talking about death. "And is this always, always going to be like this?" "Certainly, always. But every day a new crowd comes, and at once seeks again, I don't know why, and seeks and seeks, until at last they seek for eternity, - and so it has been for some time , and it will take quite a while like this.”

"I can't find anything else, piercing, except..." "Yes, you will find it once and for all, but it's nothing; just look for it! Keep looking for it!" "But the book, the book, the one you wanted me to find." "Well, who knows! I'm not lying. We should seek, seek. What we seek, we know very little. That's what teaches us. There are also those who spend their lives seeking, just to get Know what they're looking for. Here's the philosopher, John. But if ever comes, it's gone with their search." "It's scary, piercing!"

"Oh, no, not at all. Yong is a really honest man. He was misunderstood." Someone was stumbling on the ladder in front of the door.橐橐!橐橐!It rang on the wooden ladder.Then someone knocked on the door, as if iron on wood. A long, thin man entered.He has deep-set eyes and long, thin hands.A cold wind passed through the hut. "Oh, so!" said Chuanzhuo, "you're here, sit down! We're talking about you. How are you?" "Work! Lots of work!" said the tall man, wiping the cold sweat from his gray brow. John, motionless and timid, looked into the deep-set eyes that gazed fixedly at him.The eyes are severe and dark, yet neither cruel nor hostile.After a few moments, he was breathing more freely again, and his heart was beating less violently.

"This is John," said Chuanzhuo, "he once heard that there was a book in which it was recorded why everything is like this, and we have to find it together, don't we?" Smile with many intentions. "Oh, so—well, it's just!" said Death dearly, and nodded to John. "He's afraid he won't find that—but I tell him he's going to have to look really hard first." "Verily," said Death, "it is right to seek diligently." "He thought you might be cruel; but look, John, you're wrong, aren't you?" "Oh, yes!" said dear dear, "I've been told many things are wrong. I don't have the looks of a man—but I think that's all right."

He smiled wearily, like a man busy with a serious matter being discussed.Then his dark eyes bent far away from John, and wandered thoughtfully over the metropolis. John didn't dare to speak for a long time, and finally he whispered: "Are you going to take me with you now?" "What do you think, my child?" said Death, looking up from his dream, "No, not yet. You should grow up and be a good man." "I don't want to be alone, like the others." "Go, go!" said Death, "There's no way to do it." One can hear him, this is one of his usual tones.He went on:

"How a man can be a good man, my friend Chuanzhuo can teach you. There are all kinds of methods; but Chuanzhuo teaches best. To be a good man is really a beautiful thing to look forward to. You can't do it cheaply. Guess it, young boy!" "Search, think, observe," Chuu Chiu said. "Verily, verily," said Death;—then addressing Chuanchi, "to whom do you want to lead him?" "To Doctor Number, my old student." "Oh, yes, that's a good student, a model. In his class, it's almost complete." "Will I see Rong'er again?" John asked tremblingly.

"Who does that child miss?" Death asked. "Oh, he was once loved, and he is still fantasizing about becoming a goblin, hehehe." Chu Chuan smiled sinisterly. "Otherwise, my boy, it's irrelevant," said Death, "you have nothing like that with Dr. Numbers. Whoever seeks what you seek should forget all else. All or nothing .1" "I'm going to make him a human being with a cast, and I'm going to show him what love is, and he's already wanted to wear it." And laughed again with pleasure,--Death cast his dark eyes on poor John, who was trying to stifle his sobs.for he was ashamed before death. Death suddenly stood up. "I should go," he said. "I've talked about my time. There's a lot to do here. Good day, John, we're going to see each other. You just have to be afraid in my presence." "I have no fear in your presence—I would rather you take me. Please! Take me!" Death refused him gently, he was used to this kind of request. "No, John, you go to work now, to search and observe. Don't ask me again. I only call once, and there is enough time." As soon as he disappeared, piercing was completely reckless again.He jumped over chairs, slid along the floor, climbed cabinets and chimneys, and performed many neck-breaking feats between open windows. "This is Eternity, my good friend Eternity!" cried he,--"Can't you see that he's good? He's a little odious, and bleak, too. But if in his work He can be happy with his pleasure, but the work often bores him. It's a little more monotonous." "Where is he supposed to go, and who told him, Punch?" Suspiciously and suspiciously, he cast a sideways glance at John. "Why do you ask that? He goes his own way. When he gets to it, he takes it with him." Later, John had a different opinion.But now he doesn't know more clearly, and believes that what Chu Chuan said should always be true. They walked the streets, weaving their way through squirming crowds.The black people ran around, laughing and chattering, looking so happy and carefree that it surprised John.He saw Chuan Chiu nod to many people, but no one returned the salute, and everyone looked in front of them, as if they saw nothing. "Now they walk and laugh as if none of them know me. But it's just a sight. If I'm alone with them, they can no longer deny me, and they lose interest. " On the way, John felt someone walking behind him.Looking back, he saw that it was the pale man walking among the people with his inaudible stride.He nods to John. "Did people see him too?" John asked piercingly. "Certainly, all of them, but they don't even want to know him. Well, I like to make them proud." The confusion and uproar stunned John, which at once made him forget his sorrow.The narrow streets and the tall houses that divide the blue sky into long strips, the people walking along the houses, the creaking of their footsteps and the rumble of cars disturbed the old hallucinations and dreams of that night, just like the storm on the water mirror The image is mediocre.It seemed to him that there was nothing but people—as if he should do and run together in the restless and restless disturbance. So they came to a quiet part of the city, where stood a large house with large, plain windows and doors.It seemed ruthless and harsh.It was quiet inside, and John also felt an unfamiliar pungent smell mixed with blunt cellar gas as the base mixture.A hut with strange furniture and a lonely person sitting in it.He was surrounded by books, glasses, and brass utensils, all of which were also unfamiliar to John.A solitary ray of sunlight shines from above his head into the room, and flickers among the glasses of beautiful liquid.The man stared hard in a brass tube without looking up. As John came nearer, he heard him murmur how: "I will know! I will know!" Beside the man, on a long black shelf, lay something white which he could not quite discern. "Good morning, Mr. Doctor," Chuan Chuan said, but the Doctor still didn't look up. Then John was startled, for the white thing he was trying to examine suddenly began to move convulsively and tremblingly.What he saw was the white fur of a rabbit.The little head with the moving nose was tied down on the iron frame, and the four legs were tightly bound around the body.After only a moment in the desperate experiment to get rid of, the little animal lay still again, only the rapid quivering of the bleeding neck still showed that it was not dead. John also saw the round benevolent eye, wide open in its impotent terror, and he seemed familiar with it.Alas, in that first blessed demon night, on this soft, now quivering little body, with rapid, terrifying panting, he had laid his head on it.All the remembrances of his past life held him back with force.He didn't want to, but he went straight to the little animal: "Wait a minute! Wait a moment! Poor little rabbit, I want to help you." He was eager to untie the rope that bound his tender feet. But he was also pinched tightly at the same time, and sharp laughter was still ringing in his ears. "What does that mean, John? Are you still so childish? What does the Doctor think of you?" "What about the boy? What is he doing here?" asked the doctor in surprise. "He's going to be a man, and that's why I brought him to you. But he's too young and childish. That's not the way to find what you're looking for, John!" "Yes, that way is not the right one," said the Doctor. "Mr. Doctor, let go of that little rabbit!"— Chuanzhuo grabbed his hands and made him tremble. "How did we agree, little boy?" he whispered in his ear. "We've got to find, don't we? We're not here on the sand hills spinning around and among irrational beasts. If we were humans—humans! Do you understand? If you'd stop at a child, if you weren't strong enough Come and help me, I will let you go, then go find it alone!" John was silent, and believed, he was willing to be strong.He closed his eyes, trying not to see the little rabbit. "Dear child!" said the doctor, "you seemed a little kind at first. That's true. It was a little uncomfortable to watch the first time. I would never want to watch it myself. I would do it if I could avoid it." Avoid. However, this is inevitable, and you should also understand that we are human beings, not animals, and that the honor of man and science is far higher than the honor of a few little rabbits." "Did you hear that?" Chuan Qiao said, "Science and humanity!" "A man of science," continued the doctor, "is above all other men. Yet he should sacrifice the little feelings of ordinary people for the great cause, science. Would you like to be such a man? Do you think it is your duty, my child?" John hesitated, he didn't quite understand the word "duty", just like the gold bug. "I want to find the book," said he, "that was told."— The doctor was surprised, and asked: "Will you know?" But Chuan Qiao said quickly: "He wants this, doctor, I understand very well. He wants to seek the highest wisdom, and he wants to lay a foundation for everything." John nodded. ——"Yes!" What he knew about the words was his purpose. "Well, then you should be strong, John, and don't be petty and soft-hearted. Then I'll help you. But make up your mind: all or nothing."— So John, with trembling hands, tied the untied rope to the rabbit's four paws again. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ 1. Note: Alles oder Nichts, Ibsen's words, come from his drama Brand. (Ibsen’s current translation of Ibsen——Bone Note.)