Chapter 83 82. The Campriano Story

There was once a man, a farmer, named Campriano.He has a wife and a mule.Sometimes people from Chichiola would pass by the fields he was plowing, and they would ask him, "Hey, Campgliano, what are you doing?" and if he was going home.As for Campgliano, he always leads his animals and walks with them for a while. One morning Campgliano stuffed a few of his own gold pieces up the mule's anus.The men from Chichiora passed him, and he said, "Wait a minute, I'll go with you." He put his things on the mules, and talked to them and went away.It was spring, and the grass was so lush that the animals could easily eat it.The mule was tired and ate, and when it was full, it started to shit all the way: the gold coins that the director stuffed in it fell out.

Those who came from Chichiola asked him: "What, Campgliano. Your mule pulls money?" He said, "Well, yes, I can't live without this mule...it's my blessing." Immediately they said: "You must sell it to us, Campriano! You must sell it to us!" "Huh? I won't sell it!" "If you sell, how much will you ask for? How much?" "I wouldn't sell it for any money I was given. If you really want it, you need at least three hundred scudos." Those who came from Chichiola emptied their wallets to get together three hundred scudos.They led the mule away.As soon as they got home, they made the wives spread sheets in the stable so that they could come in the morning to collect the gold coins the mules had pulled in the night.

The next morning, they ran to the stable and saw that the sheets were covered with mule droppings. "Cumpliano has tricked us, let's kill him!" They took their forks and shovels and went straight to Campriano's house. His wife came to answer the door. "Cumpliano is not at home, he is in the vineyard." "Let's get him out of the vineyard!" they shouted, walking towards the vineyard.When they were in the vineyard, they said to him: "Cumpliano! Come out! We will kill you!" Campgliano comes out from under the vine: "Why?" "The mules you sold us don't pull any money!"

"That depends on what you're feeding it," Campgliano said. "We feed it well: we feed it sweet vegetable soup, we feed it fresh grass." "Poor beast! It's almost as good as it is if it's not dead. It's used to eating coarse grains, and that's the only way to give it the strength to pull out gold coins, understand? Wait a minute," he went on, "I and you Let's go and see together. If there's nothing wrong with it, I'll bring it back; if not, you can keep it. But I must go home first." "Okay, go and come back, we'll wait for you here."

Campgliano ran to his wife and said to her, "You cook a can of beans. But when we get back, you're going to pretend you're cooking beans from the cupboard, got it ?" He and the men from Chichiola went to their stables and saw the mules standing on the dung-stained sheets. "It's a wonder it's still alive!" he said. "The animal can't work anymore. What have you done! I never thought you'd do this to him! Poor animal!" Those who came from Kikiora were at a loss, "What are we going to do now?" "What now? If I don't talk, you shouldn't either."

"Yes, you are right!" "That's what it is. You go to my house for dinner. We don't quarrel anymore, so let's not talk about it." When they got to Campriano's house, they found the door locked.Campgliano knocked on the door, and his wife came out of the stables, as if she had just returned from outside. There was no fire in the kitchen, and Campgliano said, "What! You haven't cooked for me yet?" "I've just come back from the fields," she said, "and I'll have my meal ready right away." She set the table for them and opened the cupboard, where beans were boiling in pots.

"What?" said the men from Chichiola, "the pot cooks in the cupboard? How does it cook without a fire?" Campgliano replied: "How would we live without this jar? How would my wife and I go out and work together if we didn't have the assurance that our meals would be cooked automatically when we got home?" "Cumpliano, you must sell us this jar," they said. "I won't sell it for any amount!" "Cumpliano, the mule is useless, you should sell us the pot again. We will give you three hundred scudos." So Campgliano sold them the pot.They left with the jars.

The wife said to him, "They were trying to kill you just now because of the mule. Now what are you going to do?" "Just wait and see!" said Campgliano.He went to a butcher and asked for a bubble of cow urine, which he filled with blood.Then he said to his wife, "Here, you put this urinal on your chest, and you must not be afraid when I stab you with a knife." Those who came from Chichiola came again with forks and shovels. "We're going to kill you! Give us our money back, or we'll kill you!" "Why, why? Tell me why you want to kill me?"

"You said that pot could cook without fire. We went to work with the wives and came back with the same beans as before, raw." "Wait, wait, my damn wife must have done this. I'm going to ask her now to see if she changed my pot..." He called his wife and said, "Honestly, did you replace these gentlemen's jars?" She said, "Of course you don't tell me until you sell the stuff and then it's me cooking again! I don't want to lose that pot!" Campgliano yelled: "Ah, you bastard!" He drew his knife and stabbed at her, right on the bubble, and the blood spurted out and splashed all over the floor.The woman fell into a pool of blood.

The faces of the two men from Chichiora were pale with fright. "Cumpliano, you killed your own wife for a cauldron?" Campgliano took a look at his bloody wife and pretended to be sad. "My poor wife, we have to bring you back to life." He took out a straw stick from his pocket, put it in the woman's mouth, and he blew three breaths into the woman's mouth, and the woman sat up and As pompous as ever. The two men from Chicciola said, with wide-eyed eyes, "Cumpliano, you must sell us this stick." "No," replied Campgliano, "sometimes I want to kill my wife, and without this stick I cannot bring her back to life."

They pleaded and finally paid three hundred scudos more, and Campriano sold them the sticks.They went home, got into an excuse fight with their wives, and killed them with knives.The judge caught them while they were blowing on straw sticks and they were sentenced to life in prison. (Lukesia)