Chapter 29 life is like a dream (1)

12. Life is like a dream Immediately after Manuela left, I was busy with various boring jobs: doing housework, using a mop to draw in the hall, dragging the garbage cans to the street, picking up various small advertisements on the ground, watering the flowers and plants , prepare cat food (just a slice of ham with a large fat pork rind), make my own meal - Chinese cold noodles with tomato, basil and Parmesan saffron cheese -, read the newspaper for a while, group in the room Reading my favorite Danish novel in one corner, calming down the crisis in the hall, because Lot, the granddaughter of the Ardens and the eldest daughter of Clements, was crying at my door because her grandfather didn't want to see her.

At nine o'clock in the evening, I finished my day's work and suddenly felt very old and tired.Death doesn't scare me, let alone the death of Pierre Arden, but this unbearable waiting is like a hole hanging in the air. I think what he has won all his life is boundless vicissitudes and helplessness.I sat in the kitchen, surrounded by silence and no bright lights. I tasted the bitterness of the absurd life, and my thoughts drifted with the wind.Pierre Arden...a tyrannical ruler who loved vanity all his life, but spent his whole life pursuing the baptism of words with all his strength, struggling between pursuing art and thirsting for power, and finally had only an illusory fantasy...then the truth Where is it?Where is the dream?In power or in art?When we reveal that the so-called desire to conquer that motivates us is the vanity of fantasy, don't we just praise human creation to the sky with our fairly good language ability? --That's right, everyone, including a poor concierge locked in a small dark room, although she gave up the pursuit of power in reality, didn't she also have a fantasy of power deep in her heart?

From this point of view, what kind of development process does life go through?Day after day, year after year, we try valiantly to try to play our part in the drama of life.Given that we are primates, our main activity is defending territory so that we can be protected and admired; He went out of his way to fornicate songs everywhere -- even if it was just a fantasy.It can be seen that the most important part of the power we use is intimidation and attraction. These two strategies alone can occupy territory, class status, and the opposite sex.Only our consciousness doesn't think so.We discuss love, good and evil, philosophy and civilization, and more than that, we cling to these revered icons like bloodthirsty lice on hot fat dogs.

However, for us, life sometimes seems like a fantasy drama.When we wake up from the dream and see what we have done, we will find that we have devoted our lives to maintaining primitive needs, and at the same time we are surprised to ask ourselves what art is.Our enthusiasm for hypocrisy and ominous glances suddenly seems meaningless, and the warm and comfortable nest bought by twenty years of debt is actually just a barbaric custom of fetching water from a bamboo basket, hard-won and lost Que Yi's social status comes only from vulgar vanity.As for our offspring, we watch them with new and horrified eyes, because the act of breeding would look terribly inappropriate without the altruistic clothes on.All that remains is erotic enjoyment; but even in the long stream of initial suffering, erotic enjoyment is likewise vacillating, and sex without love cannot be included in the lessons of life.

Eternity is gone from us. When I overturn all beliefs about romanticism, politics, spirituality, metaphysics and morality that have been engraved in our hearts for many years on the altar of humanity, this social soil washed by waves of hierarchical concepts will sink into In the predicament of the unconscious state.Then rich and poor will be gone, thinkers, researchers, policy makers, slaves, good and bad, creative and responsible, unionists and individualists, reformers and conservatives; all the smiles and gestures, actions and pretense, language and regulations; this is a feature of primitive people, and it also appears in the genetic card of primates, which means one sentence: Either keep your position or die.

On days like these, you're desperate to retrace your art.Maybe you will have a strong desire to pursue the spiritual wealth you once had again, maybe you will be eager to hope that there is something that can free yourself from the shackles of biological fate. At the same time, you are eager for all the beautiful poetry and greatness. Just gone. Then let's have a cup of tea, or watch Ozu Yasujiro Ozu Yasujiro (1903-1963), a well-known Japanese director, his works often use modern Japanese families as the theme to express the love between parents and children, and the entanglement between husband and wife Reconciliation and reconciliation, children's play and adults' distress, etc., whose representative works include "Late Spring" and "Tokyo Story". --Annotated movies, stay away from the customs of intrigue and verbal warfare that belong to the ruling class, and let the sad stage of life be engraved with the full marks of art and great works.