Chapter 11 Poodle as totem (1)

3. The poodle as a totem In the popular imagination, the concierge couple, a duo so insignificant that their existence is indicated only by their union, would almost always have a poodle.The well-known poodle is a curly-haired dog whose breed is either old-school retirees, lonely old women in need of affection, or porters hiding in dark rooms.Poodles come in black and apricot.Apricot yellow is more prone to ringworm than black, but not as heavy as black.All poodles bark at little things, especially when nothing is happening.They follow their masters, shuffling along on four stiff legs, but their sausage-like torsos remain motionless.They have small black, vicious eyes set deep in tiny sockets.Ugly, stupid, submissive, exaggerated, that's what a poodle is.

Therefore, the concierge couple who are compared to poodles seem to have lost their relentless pursuit of passions such as love and hope, and are ugly, stupid, obedient and exaggerated like the poodle totem image all their lives.If it is in a novel, the prince will fall in love with the female worker, or the princess will fall in love with the prisoner, but between the porters, even if they are of the opposite sex, there will never be a love story that is worthy of people's eloquence like what happened to others. . Not only have we never owned a poodle, but I can also say our marriage was a success.After marrying my husband, I am still myself.I especially miss those Sunday mornings, those mornings when I fully enjoyed my down time, in the silence of the kitchen, he sipping his coffee and I clutching my book.

I married him at the age of seventeen, after a swift but courteous courtship.He and my brothers worked in the same factory, and sometimes he would come to my house to have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine with my brothers after get off work in the evening.Ugh.I'm really ugly, and if I'm ugly like everybody else, it's no longer decisive.But my ugliness was cruel, it was my own, and at the same time it robbed me of my youth before I was married, and made me look like a fifty years old.I am hunchbacked, short and fat, with short legs, splayed feet, thick hair, and indistinct facial features. In short, I have no sense of outline and lack of elegance. If I can have the cuteness that every young person has In terms of vitality, even if the face is hideous, it can be consoled after all-but at the age of twenty, not only did I not have the youthful charm of young people, but I looked like a vulgar old woman.

So when my future husband expressed his intentions, I couldn't pretend I didn't know anything, I opened up to him, and for the first time, I spoke to someone other than myself, to him Frankly I'm surprised he wants to marry a woman like me. I am sincere.For a long time I had the idea of ​​being alone all my life.I am poor and ugly, but unfortunately I am also a self-enclosed smart woman. In our society, this kind of person will eventually go on a dark and hopeless road of no return. It is best to adapt to this road early.People forgive everything about beauty, even vulgarity.Wisdom is a rebalance that nature bestows on poor children, and it is not a suitable compensation for ugly people.Wisdom is just a superfluous plaything to make jewelry more expensive.Ugly, this is already a fault, I have to accept this tragic fate, but what is more painful is that I am not a vulgar and stupid girl.

"Reni," he answered me in the most serious tone, eloquent and eloquent, with an eloquence which he had not displayed since his marriage.He went on: "Leni, I don't want to marry a rascal girl who, beneath their pretty exterior, has a stupid head not as clever as a sparrow. What I want is a faithful wife, a kind A wife, a good mother, and an excellent housewife. What I want is a gentle, loyal and reliable partner, a woman who can accompany me throughout my life, support me at all times, and grow old with me in the future. As In return, I will give you a hard-working husband, a comfortable family and some tenderness at the right time. I am not a bad person, and I will try my best to be a good husband."

He did it. He was short and skinny as an old elm bump, but nevertheless he had a pleasing appearance and always had a smile on his face.He never drank, smoked, chewed or gambled.After get off work, I watch TV at home, read fishing magazines, or play poker with a few like-minded friends in the factory.He was sociable and had no trouble inviting friends over to his house.Every Sunday, he goes fishing.And I, because he objected to me working in other people's homes, I took care of the housework at home.