Chapter 20 Chapter 5 From Brook on the Rita to Sukauer

Lieutenant Lukasch paced up and down in the office of the Eleventh Advance, very uneasy.This is a dark small room in the company's barracks, which is divided from the corridor by wooden boards.There were only a table, two chairs, a tin can of kerosene, and a mattress inside. Lieutenant Lukash stood facing Lieutenant Lukash, the ration sergeant Wannick, who spent his days compiling payroll and registering the soldiers' rations.In fact, he was the finance minister of the whole company, and he stayed in this dark and narrow room all day long and slept there at night. At the door stood a stout infantryman with a long, bushy beard.This is the Lieutenant's new orderly, Barron.Before joining the army, he was a miller.

"Well, I must admit you found me a good horse," Lieutenant Lukasch said to the supply sergeant. "Thank you for the surprise. The first day I sent him to the officers' mess to fetch my lunch, he ate half of it." "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't eat it, I spilled it," said the bruiser with the beard. "Well, then let's say you spilled. You might have spilled soup or gravy, but you couldn't have spilled a roast. You brought back a piece of meat big enough to cover my fingernail. And you put Where did the pudding go?" "I……" "You eat it. You say you can't do without it. You eat it."

When Lieutenant Lukasch said the last sentence, his expression was so serious that Barron couldn't help but took two steps back. "I asked in the kitchen, I already know what we have for lunch today. Soup and dough. Where did you get the dough? You fished it out on the way, didn't you? Beef and gherkins, too. .Where did you get it? You ate it too. Two roasts, you only brought me half a slice, didn't you? And two puddings, where did you go? You swallowed it too. , you, you greedy pig! Tell me, where did you get the pudding? What, fell into the mud? You damned nonsense! Show me the place and see if it falls in the mud. Pudding. What? You were not allowed to pick it up. A dog took it? I really want to beat you so hard that your own mother can't recognize you. After eating, you still want to lie to me, Oh, you bastard! Do you know who saw you? It was Wannick, the ration sergeant here. He came and told me, "Report sir, that gluttonous pig of Barron's eating your lunch."I looked out the window and saw him stuffing his mouth like he hasn't eaten anything for a week. 'I said, sergeant, you could find me a better fellow than this slob. "

"Sir, it looks like Barron is the most satisfying member of our advance team. He's a stupid idiot who forgets all the maneuvers he's just learned. If you give him a gun, He's going to make a lot more trouble. He nearly shot the eye out of the guy next to him the last time he was practicing blank-fire. I think he'll be an orderly anyway." "Eat the officer's lunch," said Lieutenant Lukasch, "as if his own ration wasn't enough for him. You're probably going to tell me by now, are you hungry, eh?" "Then, Sergeant," he said, turning to Supply Sergeant Wannick, "you take this man to Corporal Weidenhover and tell him to tie this guy up near the kitchen door. Bind him two For an hour until the stew is finished tonight. Ask him to tie him up so that he can only touch the ground on his toes. This way, he can watch the meat stewing in the pot. When the stew is cooked in the kitchen, he must put The bastard is tied there so that his mouth will water, like a hungry redneck sniffing outside a butcher's shop. Tell them to give his share of the stew to the others."

"It's sir. Come on, Barron." When Supply Sergeant Wannick came to report that Barron was tied up, Lieutenant Lukasch said, "I think you're a drunkard. When I saw your drunken nose, I looked you over." "Sir, that's in the Carpathians. Our rations are always cold there. The trenches are dug in the snow, and we're not allowed to make a fire, so we're stuck with rum. Live. If it weren't for me, everyone would have ended up like the rest of the company. We couldn't eat rum, and the soldiers froze. The rum made our noses red. The only drawback is that the battalion ordered, Only those with red noses are sent out to scout."

"Ah, but winter is almost over," said the lieutenant deliberately. "Sir, it doesn't matter what season it is, you can't do without rum on the battlefield. Rum keeps morale up. If a man has a little rum in his stomach, he'll beat anyone. Hey, who's knocking at the door? Fool, wouldn't he Do you recognize the words 'DO NOT KNOCK, ENTER' written on the door?" Lieutenant Lukasch turned his chair towards the door, and saw the door open slowly and gently, and the good soldier Schweik also slowly and gently entered the office of the eleventh advance team.

When Lieutenant Lukasch saw the good soldier Schweik, he immediately closed his eyes, but Schweik stared at the lieutenant, as happy as a prodigal son returning home and seeing his father slaughter the fattened calf for him. ⑴ "Sir, I'm back," Schweik said loudly from the door, and Lieutenant Lukasch suddenly realized what he had suffered when he saw his frank and casual attitude.Ever since the day Colonel Schroeder informed him that Schweik was being sent back to torture him, Lieutenant Lukasch had been hoping that this unfortunate moment would be postponed indefinitely.Every morning he said to himself: "Today he won't come. Maybe he's in trouble again, so maybe they're detaining him." But now Schweik's face-to-face with good-natured humility disturbed him. Lieutenant those thoughts.

At this time, Schweik stared intently at the supply sergeant Wannik, turned around, took out some documents from the pocket of his military coat, and handed them to him with a smile. "Report sergeant," he said, "these papers signed in the wing office must all be handed over to you. They are about my pay and rations." Schweik's demeanor in the eleventh advance office was as casual as if Wannick, the ration sergeant, was an old friend of his.But the ration sergeant replied curtly: "Put it on the table." "Sergeant," said Lieutenant Lukasch with a sigh, "I think you'd better let me speak with Schweik alone."

Wannick walked out.He stood outside the door and listened to see what the two of them had to say.At first, he heard nothing, because neither Schweik nor Lieutenant Lukasch said anything.They looked at each other for a long time, looking carefully. Lieutenant Lukasch broke the sad silence and said with strong sarcasm: "Oh, I'm glad to see you, Schweik. Thank you for visiting me. Just think how lovely you are." One of our guests!" But he couldn't control his emotions.He vented the anger he had suppressed for a long time: he beat the table with his fist, and the ink bottle shook, and the ink was spilled on the leader's list.He jumped up again, pressed his face to Schweik, and shouted at him: "You bastard!"

After finishing speaking, he strode back and forth in the long and narrow office, spitting every time he passed Schweik. "Report sir," Schweik said.Meanwhile, Lieutenant Lukasch continued to pace up and down, grabbing balls of paper as he approached the table, and flung them angrily toward a corner. "I sent the letter just as you ordered. I think Madame Garguni is not bad, and, to be honest, she is a slender woman, although she was crying when I saw her..." Lieutenant Lukasch sat down on the mattress provided by the sergeant and shouted: "Shuaik, when will you be so crazy?"

Schweik continued as if he hadn't heard the lieutenant's yelling, "It was true that something unpleasant happened later, but I took all the blame on myself. Naturally, they wouldn't believe that I wrote to that lady, so During the interrogation, I thought I'd better swallow the letter so they couldn't get to the bottom of it. Then—I don't know how it happened, unless it was bad luck—I wrote the letter again. It's really not worth mentioning to go into a small dispute. I finally settled the lawsuit. They admitted that I was not at fault and sent me to the guard room without interrogation. The colonel came after waiting for a few minutes in the team office. He gave me a lecture, told me to report to you as a company messenger, and asked me to tell you, please go to see him right away about this advance team. It was more than half an hour ago, but the Colonel didn't know they still had to take me to the regimental office, or that I'd have to wait a quarter of an hour there, for I'd been paid back; I have to get it from the regiment, not the advance team, because according to the list, I belong to the regiment for confinement." Lieutenant Lukasch heard that he should have gone to see Colonel Schroeder half an hour ago, put on his civilian uniform and said: "Shuaik, you have done me a good job again!" When he said this, the tone was completely depressed and hopeless.As he was rushing out of the door, Schweik comforted him with a kind word: "Sir, he won't care about calling the colonel, etc. He has nothing to do anyway." Not long after the lieutenant left, supply sergeant Wannick came in. Schweik was sitting on a chair, the fire door of the small iron stove was open, and he was throwing coals into it piece by piece.The stove was smoking and had a foul stench.Schweik ignored the supply sergeant watching him and continued throwing coal into it.The sergeant looked at it for a while, and then kicked the furnace door violently to tell Schweik to get out of his friends. "I'm sorry, sergeant," said Schweik majesticly, "but I have to tell you that although I am willing to obey your orders , but it can’t be done, because I’m under the management of the superior.” "You see, sergeant, that's it," he added, with some pride in his tone, "I'm a company orderly. Colonel Schroeder put me in with Lieutenant Lukasch of the Eleventh Advance, and I Used to be Lieutenant Lukasch's horse. But because of my talent, they promoted me to orderly. The Lieutenant and I are very old friends." The phone rang.The supply sergeant hurriedly grabbed the headset, then slammed it down hard, and said angrily: "I have to go to the wing office. It's unreasonable to always call people in such a hurry." Schweik was alone again in the room. Soon, the phone rang again. Schweik picked up the earphone and shouted into the receiver: "Hey, who are you? I am Schweik, the orderly of the eleventh advance team." Later, Schweik heard Lieutenant Lukasch's voice replying: "What are you all doing? Where is Wannik? Tell Wannik to come and answer the phone immediately." "Report sir, the phone rang just now..." "Listen, Schweik, I don't have time to chat with you. In the army, it's easy to talk on the phone, no nonsense. And when you call, don't say the 'report to the officer'. Now I ask You: Is Wannick in the room? He has to answer the phone immediately." "Sir, he's not here. He was called to the wing office less than a quarter of an hour ago." "Remember, Schweik, I'm going to settle accounts with you when I get back. Can't your words be simpler? Well, listen to me carefully. Can you hear me clearly? Don't use the noise on the phone to prevaricate afterwards. Then, you As soon as you hang up the phone, immediately..." After a pause, the phone rang again.Schweik picked up the earphones, and then he heard a swearing: "You nasty, stupid, dazed, wrong-born bastard: you horrible idiot, you country bumpkin, you rough man, you rascal What the hell are you up to? Why did you hang up the phone?" "Report sir, it was you who told me to hang up the phone." "I'll be back in an hour. Schweik, I'll give you something to try when I get back. Now, pull yourself together, and get me a sergeant—Fox, if you do." If you get it—tell him to take ten men to the regiment store for ration cans at once. Well, repeat what he's supposed to do." "He's supposed to take ten men to the regiment store for the company's ration cans." "Okay, you're right this time. Now I'm going to call Wannick at the wing office and tell him to go to the wing storage. If he comes back by now, tell him to put everything else down. , hurry to the regiment storehouse. Hang it up now." Schweik searched not only for Sergeant Fox, but also for all other sergeants, but no one was found.They were all in the kitchen, gnawing at bits of meat off their bones, looking at Barron, who had been tied up as instructed.A cook brought him a rib and stuffed it into his mouth.The bearded man couldn't do anything, so he carefully put the bone in his mouth, supported it with his teeth and gums, and at the same time gnawed at the meat with the expression of a wild man in the forest. "Which one of you is Sergeant Fox?" Schweik finally found the sergeants and asked them. Sergeant Fox saw that it was only an orderly calling him, and he didn't even bother to give his own name. "Listen," Schweik said, "I have to ask what year and month did I say yes? Who's Sergeant Fox?" Sergeant Fox came over and reprimanded Schweik in a pompous manner, telling him that he should be polite when speaking to the sergeant.In his class, if anyone spoke to him as equally as Schweik, he would have given him a mouthful... "Hey, slow down," Schweik said sternly, "don't waste time, pull yourself together, and take ten people to the regiment storehouse immediately, and I want you to get the ration cans." Sergeant Fox was too surprised to speak when he heard this, and could only mutter, "What?" "Hey, hey, I didn't ask you a question, so don't talk back," Schweik replied. "I'm the orderly of the eleventh advance team. I just spoke to Lieutenant Lukasch on the phone. He ordered: "Take ten men to the regiment storehouse immediately. 'Sergeant Fox, if you don't go, I'll report right away.Lieutenant Lukasch has specifically ordered you to go.Come on, there's nothing else to say, said Lieutenant Lukasch, speaking plain and simple on the phone. He said, "Tell Sergeant Fox to go and he's got to go. It's a crime to waste time in the army, especially when you're at war. After you notify Sergeant Fox, if the kid doesn't go, it's easy, give me a call and I'll settle the score with him right away. I'm going to grind this Sergeant Fox to pieces .' Boy, you don't know how fierce Lieutenant Lukasch is." The sergeants were all taken aback and annoyed by his attitude.Schweik looked at them triumphantly.Sergeant Fox mumbled something that no one could understand, and hurried away.At this moment Schweik called to him: "Can I call and report to Lieutenant Lukasch, and that's all it is?" "I'll take ten men to the regiment storehouse right away," the sergeant said as he went.Schweik made no noise and walked away.The other sergeants were as surprised as Sergeant Fox had been. "It's getting hot," said Corporal Brazik, the little man. "We're about to set off." After Schweik returned to the office of the eleventh advance team, before he could light his pipe, the phone rang again.It was Lieutenant Lukasch speaking to him again. "Shuaike, where have you been? I called twice but no one answered." "I went on that little errand, sir." "Have they all gone?" "Oh, they've gone, sir, but I can't say if they've arrived. I'll go and see, shall I?" "Have you found Sergeant Fox?" "Got it, sir. He was talking back to me casually at first, but when I told him it was easy on the phone..." "Stop talking nonsense, Schweik. Is Wannik back?" "Not yet, sir." "Don't yell into the earphones. Do you have any idea where this annoying Wannick is?" "I can't tell where this nasty Wannick is off to, sir." "He was in the battalion office, and then he's gone elsewhere. He might be in the bar in the barracks too. Go look for him there, Schweik, and tell him to go to the battalion storage at once. One thing, immediately find Corporal Blazek and tell him to untie Barron immediately. Then tell Baron to come to me. Hang up." Schweik found Corporal Blazek, watched him untie Barron, and walked with Barron, because he had to go to the bar in the barracks to find the supply sergeant Wannik, and happened to be on the way.Barron regarded Schweik as his savior, and promised to share equally with Schweik whenever food came from home. Schweik went to the bar in the barracks along the old avenue lined with tall linden trees. Supplies Sergeant Wan Neek was sitting comfortably in the bar in the barracks, drinking a little drowsily.But he was in good spirits and kind. "Sir, you must go to the regiment store at once," Schweik said. "Sergeant Fox is waiting for you with ten men to get ration cans. You have to hurry. The lieutenant called twice." Supply Sergeant Wannick laughed out loud. "There's nothing to do, old man. There's plenty of time, boy. There's plenty of time. Wing store ain't gonna run away. Lieutenant Lukasch won't be able to say until he's got as many advance teams in charge as I have. All that stuff. But back then he wouldn't be talking about his 'right away' thing. It was unnecessary rush, and I'm telling the truth. Hey, the wing office ordered a couple of times, we're second The sky is out, and I'm going to get the rations right away. I'm not in a hurry to come here and drink him comfortably. Ration cans don't run away on long legs. I know better than the lieutenant about the regiment storehouse. When the officers talk to the colonel here, I know what they're talking about. Among other things, we don't have any cans at all in the wing store, and never have. Our cans are all in the colonel's head. Whenever we need canned food, we always get a penny and a half from the brigade headquarters, or borrow some from other regiments, if we have relations with them. We owe more than two hundred to just one regiment Listen to the can. I've made up my mind! Let them talk whatever they want at the meeting, but they don't have to try to bluff me." "You'd better not worry about anything," Wannick, the ration sergeant, went on. "They can do what they like. If they say in the wing office that we're going out tomorrow, they're talking nonsense. There's not a single wagon on the railroad, so what are we going to do? I was standing when they called the station. There isn't even a wagon to move. Take it easy, boy. Take it easy. Everything will work out, but there's no need to be busy. There's nothing wrong with that. You should sit down if you take my advice. ..." "No," said the good soldier Schweik with some difficulty, "I have to go back to my office in case someone calls." "If you must go, go, old chap. But you ain't pretty when you go, that's the truth. You're too eager to go back to work." But Schweik had already stepped out of the gate and ran in the direction of the advance team. That left the maintenance sergeant Wannick alone.He took a sip of his wine now and then, thinking of a sergeant waiting for him in the wing store with ten men.Thinking of this, he smiled to himself and waved his hands grandly. It was very late when I returned to the eleventh advance team and saw Shuike standing by the phone.He quietly climbed onto his mattress, and immediately fell asleep with all his clothes on his head. But Schweik still stood by the phone, because Lieutenant Lukasch called two hours ago to say that he was still discussing things with the colonel.But he forgot to tell Schweik that he didn't have to stand by the phone.Then Sergeant Fox called to say that he had been waiting for hours with ten men, but Wannick, the supply sergeant, hadn't met yet.Not only that, but the door of the regiment storehouse was basically locked.Finally, he saw that things were blowing up, so he gave up, and the ten people went back to their own camp obediently one by one. Schweik picked up the earphones from time to time to eavesdrop on other people's calls for fun.The telephone is a new invention, which has just been used in the army. Its advantage is that everyone on the line can clearly hear what others are saying. The supply soldiers cursed the artillerymen, and the engineers cursed at the military post office.The shooting training class lost its temper with the machine gun team again. And Shuaike was still sitting by the phone. The lieutenant's consultation with the colonel was prolonged again.Colonel Schroeder was talking about the latest theory on field service, with special reference to mortars.He talked on and on, about the southeast front two months ago, about the need for a clear line of communication between combat units, about poison gas, about anti-aircraft equipment, about soldiers in the trenches rations, and then he talked about the situation inside the army.Then he brought up the relationship between officers and soldiers, soldiers and sergeants, and the issue of surrendering to the enemy.Speaking of this, he pointed out in passing that half the Czech army was unreliable.As they listened, most of the officers wondered in their stomachs what year and month this old fool was going to talk about.But Colonel Shroedel went on rambling on, about the new responsibilities of the newly formed advance team, about regimental officers who died in action, about flying boats, about barbed wire, about the soldier's oath. When talking about the latter question, Lieutenant Lukasch remembered that the entire advance team had taken the oath, except for Schweik, who was not at the divisional headquarters that day.Then, he suddenly giggled.It was a nervous laugh, so contagious to the officers who sat next to him, that it attracted the Colonel's attention.At this time the colonel was just about to talk about the experience gained by the German army from the retreat of the Ardennes.He told the story of the incident in a mess, and then said: "Everyone, this is not a joke." So they all went to the officers' club, because Colonel Schroeder had called brigade headquarters. Schweik was dozing off next to the phone.The phone rang and woke him up. "Hi," he heard through the headset, "this is the wing office." "Hello," replied Schweik, "this is the eleventh advance team." "Hang up," said the voice in the headset, "take a pencil and write this down." "Eleventh advance team." Then, the following is a series of jumbled sentences, because the telephone voices of the 12th and 13th advance teams are also clipped in, and the announcements from the wing office all disappear in the noise.Schweik did not understand a word.But then the sound in the earphones was a bit quieter.Later, Schweik heard it say: "Hey, hey, don't hang up! Reread what you wrote down just now." "What do you miss?" "Naturally read the words written down, you fool." "What are you talking about?" "My God, are you deaf? Read what I just dictated to you, you bastard;" "I didn't catch it. Someone's always messing around." "You idiot, do you think I'm here to listen to your nonsense when I'm free? Do you remember it or not? Have you got the pen and paper? What? Didn't you get it? You fool Tell me to wait for you to find it? My God, what an army this is! Well, how long do you want me to wait? Oh, you've got everything ready, really? You've got your spirits together. Maybe you'll have to change your uniform for that. Well, listen up: Advance Eleven. Mark it? Read it over." "Eleventh advance team." "Company commander. Have you written it down? Read it again." "Zur Besprechung morgen⑶ memorized? Read it again." "Zur Bes Prechung morgen." "Um neun Uhr. Unterschrift⑷ Do you know what Unterschrift means, you idiot? It means 'signature.' Say it again!" "Um neun Uhr. Unterschrift Do you know what Unterschrift means, you idiot? It means 'signature.'" "You big fool! It's signed Colonel Shroedel, idiot. Did you get it? Read it again!" "Colonel Shroedel, fool." "Okay, you idiot! Who's answering the phone?" "I." "Damn it, who is 'I'?" "Shuaik. Is there anything else?" "Not anymore, thank God." Schweik hung up his earphones and started waking up the supply sergeant Wannik.The ration sergeant resisted stubbornly, and when Schweik shook him, he punched Schweik on the nose.Then Schweik finally made the ration sergeant rub his eyes and asked in alarm what happened. "So far, nothing has happened," Schweik replied. "But I want to talk to you. We just got a call saying that Lieutenant Lukasch must go to the colonel at nine o'clock tomorrow morning to start another Besprechung⑸. I don't know what to do. I'm going to tell him now , or wait until tomorrow morning? I hesitated for a long time, not knowing whether I should wake you up, but in the end I thought it would be better to ask you for advice—” "For heaven's sake, let me go to sleep," the support sergeant begged, yawning loudly. "You go in the morning, but don't wake me up." He turned over and immediately fell asleep again. Shuai Ke returned to the phone, sat down and fell asleep quietly.He didn't put his earphones on, so people couldn't disturb his sleep.The telephone operator in the wing office wanted to inform the eleventh advance team to report to the wing officer at twelve o'clock the next morning how many people hadn't been vaccinated against typhoid, but the phone couldn't be reached, and he was so angry that he cursed Woke up. At this time Lieutenant Lukasch was still in the officers' club.He drank the rest of his black coffee and went home. He sat down at the table, and under the control of his state of mind at the time, began to write a moving letter to his aunt: Dear aunt: I have just received an order, and my advance team and I are about to go to the front.The battle ahead is fierce, and our side has suffered heavy casualties. This may be the last letter I write to you.Therefore, it is inconvenient for me to use the word "goodbye" at the end of the letter.I thought it might be more expedient to say goodbye to you forever. "Let's finish it tomorrow morning," Lieutenant Lukasch decided, and went to bed. With the smell of coffee essence brewed in every kitchen in the company, morning came.Schweik woke up and hung up the earphone without knowing it, as if he had just finished a call.He paced up and down the office, taking an early morning walk, humming vigorously, waking Supply Sergeant Wannick.He asked what time it was. "They just blew the reveille." "Then I'll get up with some coffee," the ration sergeant decided.He does everything with ease. "And when we get up, they must be rushing us to do this and that again. In the end, it's just like yesterday's ration cans." The phone rang, and the maintenance sergeant answered it.He heard Lieutenant Lukasch's voice asking how the ration cans were going, followed by reproachful tones. "They didn't, sir, I assure you," ration sergeant Wannick yelled into the phone. "Where would they be? Sir, it's all nonsense. The depot is in charge. Sir, no need to send. I was just calling to report to you. Have I been to the bar in the barracks? Sir Well, to be honest, I've been there for a while. No, sir, I'm not drunk. What's Schweik doing? Sir, where is he? Shall I call him?" "Shuaik, answer the phone," said the ration sergeant, and then in a low voice: "If he asks me how I was when I got back, just say I'm fine." Schweik answered the phone: "Sir, this is Schweik." "Hey, Schweik, what happened to the ration cans? Did you get them all?" "No, sir, not even a shadow." "Listen, Schweik, we're camping all day, and I want you to report to me every morning. You're not allowed to leave me until we set off. What were you doing last night?" "I sat by the phone all night, sir." "Any news?" "Yes, sir." "Then, Schweik, don't talk nonsense again. Has anyone reported anything important?" "Yes, sir, but not till nine o'clock. I don't want to bother you. I don't want to." "Then, for God's sake, tell me!" "Sir, there is a message." "Well, what are you talking about?" "I've written it all down, sir. It's roughly like this:" wrote down a message.who are you?Remember it?Read it again. '" "Don't make trouble, Schweik. Tell me what the message is about, or I'll beat you up when I catch you. So what's it about?" "Sir, I have to drive Besprechung again with the colonel at nine o'clock this morning. I wanted to wake you up at night, but then I changed my mind." "I think you should change it too. If you can wait until morning to tell me, you'd better not drag me out of bed. Besprechung again!let it be!Call Wannick over to answer the phone. " Supply Sergeant Wannick answered the phone: "Sir, I am Supply Sergeant Wannick." "Wannik, give me a ticket—let me think about it, what is a ticket? Call, yes, a list of sergeants, indicating their military age. Then issue the ration of the company headquarters. Do you want it? Open the list according to nationality? If you want, open that one too. What is the standard bearer Prissner doing today? Checking the soldiers' equipment? Accounts? I will sign after the distribution is over. No one is allowed to enter the city. Hang it up .” Supply Sergeant Wannick poured some sweet sprinkles into his black coffee from a bottle marked "Ink" (to prevent people from drinking it by mistake).Sitting there, sipping his coffee, he looked at Schweik and said: "Our lieutenant yelled into the telephone. I understood every word of him. I think, after so much time with him You must know him well these days." "Of course," replied Schweik. "We're so close. Oh, we've had a lot of trouble together. They've tried to tear us apart, but we've always managed to get back together. And I'm responsible for all the big things he does. Sometimes I don't I understand why that's the case." Colonel Shroedel convened another officer meeting because he wanted to show off his own oratorical talents. After the Besprechung began, Colonel Schroeder emphasized that the army was about to move out, and more meetings were needed to study it.He was notified by the brigade commander that they were waiting for an order from the division headquarters.A soldier's fighting spirit must be strong, and company commanders must pay attention not to let a single soldier slip away.He repeated what he said the day before, and he also told about the recent battle situation, and insisted that anything that could damage morale and fighting spirit is not allowed. On the table in front of him was pinned a map of the battle situation, with small flags on pins.But Xiaoqi was messed up. The battle lines have also changed.Pins with small flags were scattered under the table. The clerk in the wing office has a tomcat.In the middle of the night, the whole battle situation was messed up by this beloved beast.The brute shitted all over the Austro-Hungarian war zone, and then, trying to cover up his shit, ripped off the little flags one by one, leaving shit all over the ground.Along with it, it pissed all over the line of fire and under the bridgehead.Make a mess of the Legion. Colonel Shroedel happened to be nearsighted.The officers of the advance team watched with bated breath as Colonel Shroedel's fingers got closer and closer to the little puddles of shit. "Gentlemen, from here to Sukauer on the Bug ..." Colonel Schroeder began with a prophetic air, and mechanically stretched his index finger towards the Carpathian Mountains, and in the end it reached A puddle of cat shit went up—the shit was pulled by the tomcat to make the battle map look like a model. "Sir, it looks like a cat once..." Captain Sugnar said respectfully on behalf of the officers present. Colonel Shroedel hurried to the next office, when he heard a terrible roar in the room.The colonel threatened savagely that he would put cat shit on their noses. After a short interrogation, it was discovered that the cat had been brought into the office by Zwebe Fitz, the youngest clerk in the regiment, two weeks earlier.When this was confirmed, Zwibfitz packed his bags and was taken by a senior clerk to the guard room.He had to stay there and wait for what the Colonel would do. That's pretty much the end of the meeting.When the colonel returned to the summoned officers with a flushed face, he simply said: "I hope you will be ready at any time and wait for my orders and instructions." The situation is increasingly confusing.Are they about to go, or not?Schweik, sitting next to the phone in the office of the 11th advance team, heard various opinions: some were pessimistic, some were optimistic.The twelfth advance team called to say that someone in their office had heard that they would not go out until they were trained in moving target shooting and general shooting instruction.But the thirteenth advance team disagreed with this optimistic view. They said on the phone that Corporal Havorik had just returned from the city, and he heard from a railway worker in the city that the wagons had already stopped at the station. 帅克坐在电话旁边，打心坎上喜欢这个接电话的差事。对所有的问询他一概回答说：他没有什么明确的消息可以奉告。 随后又来了一连串的电话，经过好半天的阴错阳差帅克才记了下来。特别是头天晚上有一个他没能记下来的电话，当时他没把耳机挂上，自己就倒头睡了。这就是关于哪些人打了防预针、哪些人没打的那个电话。 后来又有一个迟到了的电话，是关于各连各班的配给罐头的。 旅部电话第七五六九二号，旅字命令第一二二号。厨房堆栈订货时，所需各件应按下列次序排列：一、肉；二、罐头；三、青菜；四、罐头青菜；五、白米；六、通心粉；七、燕麦和麸糠；八、土豆。上述两项次序改变为：四、罐头青菜；五、青菜。 后来帅克又接到一个电话，对方口授得非常之快，记下来有点像密码了：随后更加接近允许但是已经可是或者因而虽然同样以后再报告。 帅克对他自己写下来的话感到十分惊奇。他大声连念了三遍。给养军士万尼克说：“这都是些无聊的废话。这些话都是瞎扯蛋。自然，这也许是密码，可是这不是咱们的职务。把它丢开！” 给养军士又往他的床上一倒。 这当儿，卢卡施中尉正在他的斗室里研究着他的部下刚刚递给他的那份密码电文，研究着关于密码译法的指示，也研究着关于先遣队开往加里西亚前线时应采取的路线那个密令：七二一七一一二三八一四七五一二一二一三五＝马尊尼。 八九二二一三七五一七二八二＝拉伯。 四四三二一一二三八一七二一七一三五一八九二二一三五＝柯马洛姆。 七二八二一九二九九一三一○一二七五一七八八一一二九八一四七五一七九二九＝布达佩斯。 卢卡施中尉一面翻译着这套没头没尾的话，一面叹息着嚷了一声：“随它去吧！” -------------- ⑴比喻出自《新约·路加福音》第十五章第二十七节。 ⑵比利时东南部与法兰西接壤的一片丘陵森林地带。第一次世界大战初期，联军跟德军在这里曾发生剧烈战斗。 ⑶德语，意思是：“明天举行会议”。 ⑷德语，意思是：“九点钟，署名”。 ⑸德语，意思是“会议”。