Chapter 47 Chapter 20 Stavrogin Stavrogin (3)

One day, a letter was sent to him.On the cover, his name and address were written in rigid, neat block letters.The boy took the letter from the porter and laid it sideways on the mirror in his room. "That letter, do you want to know who sent it to me?" He said casually when he was alone with her.Then he told her the story of Maria Lebuyatkin.Tell her how Maria had disgraced her brother, Captain Lebuyatkin, and how she had become the butt of Tver.For Maria Lebuyatkin once claimed that an admirer whom she was ashamed to reveal had proposed to her. "Is this letter from Mary?" asked the child.

"You'll find out later." "But why are they laughing at her? Why doesn't anyone want to marry her?" "Because Mary was simple, simple people should not marry. Because simple people are afraid that they will have simple children, and simple children will have simple children, and so on, until the whole earth It’s just pure people, like an epidemic.” "Epidemic?" "Yes. Do you want me to continue? This all happened last summer when I was visiting my aunt. I heard the story of Mary and her suitor who didn't even exist. I decided to do this Do something. First, I ordered an outfit so I could look stylish for the place."

"Is this the suit?" "Yes, that's the suit. It's not ready yet, everyone knows what fashion is - word travels fast in Tver. I put it on, and with a bouquet of flowers, I went to Le Visited them at the Buyatkins. The captain was baffled, but his sister was not. She never lost her faith. From that day on, I visited them every day. Once, I took her for a walk in the woods , just the two of us. It was the day before I left for Petersburg." "So you've been courting her?" "No, that's not the case at all. The so-called suitors are nothing but fantasies of hers. Simple people can't tell the difference between fantasies and real things. They believe in fantasies. She thinks I'm fantasizing too. Because, You know, I act like I'm fantasizing."

"Then will you go back to see her?" "No, of course not. If she comes to me, you must not let her in. You just say, I have moved elsewhere. You just say, you don't know my address. Or, you give her A fake address, just make it up. You'll recognize her right away. She's tall and thin, with bared teeth, and, besides, she's always smiling. In fact, she's a very attractive kind of woman." "That's what she said in her letter—that she was coming here?" "right." "But why—" "Why did I do it? Just kidding. What a bore in this country in the summer—you don't know how."

It took him less than ten minutes to write this paragraph without erasing a single word.If it is to be finalized, it must be written in more detail.For present purposes, however, this is sufficient.He stood up and let the two sheets of paper spread out on the table. This is innocent harm to children.It was an act he did not expect to be forgiven for.He crossed the threshold with that thought in mind.Now, God must speak.God dares not remain silent now.To corrupt children is to persecute God.The trap he made out of arches and springs closed like a trap, a trap for God. He knows what he's doing.At the same time, he surpassed himself in this contest of wits with God.He may have outgrown his own mind.He and God tolerate each other.Time freezes, stop watching.Time is suspended, everything is suspended before it falls.

I've lost my place in my soul, he thought. He picked up his hat and left the tenement.He didn't recognize the hat anymore.He didn't know whose shoes he was wearing.In fact, he didn't recognize himself anymore.If he looked in the mirror now, he would not have been surprised at all if there had been another face in the mirror, had that face stared at him with the same emptiness. He betrayed everyone.He couldn't see how his betrayal would get deeper and deeper.If he wants to know whether betrayal tastes sour like vinegar, or bitter like bile, now is the time. However, there is no taste in his mouth, just like his heart has no weight.His heart, to be honest, was empty.He hadn't expected it to be this way.However, how could he have expected it beforehand?Not pain, but a numb feeling.It's like a soldier being hit by a bullet on the battlefield, blood is flowing, but he can't feel the pain, and he is still surprised: Am I already dead?

It appears that he has to pay a high price.He earned a lot of royalties for writing books.said the child.She repeated the words of the dead child.What they did not say was that in return he had to give up his soul. Now, he began to try that taste.That taste is like gall.