Chapter 20 Chapter 9 Nechayev (1)

The next day, as he was walking the streets of Haymarket, he caught a glimpse of the squat, almost round figure of the Finnish girl ahead of him.She is not alone.Beside her was a tall, thin woman who was walking so fast that the Finn had to jump up and down to keep up. He quickened his pace.Although he sometimes lost track of them in the crowd, when they entered a shop he was not too far behind.The lanky woman glanced down the street as she entered.He was very impressed by her blue eyes and pale skin.Her eyes did not linger on him. He crossed the street and went across the street to wait for them to come out.Five minutes passed, and ten minutes passed.He started to feel cold.

The brass sign read Lafay Millinery.He opened the door and went in; the bell that hung over the door rang.In a long, brightly lit room, girls all dressed in gray smocks sat at two long tables sewing.A middle-aged woman hurried over to greet him. "What's the matter, sir?" "A few minutes ago I thought I saw an acquaintance, a young lady, come in here—" He looked around the workshop, disappointed: neither the Finn nor the woman was in sight. "Sorry, I must have made a mistake." The two young seamstresses sitting nearest giggled at his embarrassment.Madame Lafayette had lost interest. "You must be seeing students," she said contemptuously. "We don't make student clothes here."

He apologized again and was about to leave. "Hi!" a voice behind him greeted. He turned around.A girl pointed to a small door to his left. "Go through that door!" He entered an alley that was separated from the street by a wall.I saw an iron staircase leading upstairs.He hesitated for a moment, and went up the stairs. He found himself in a dark hallway that smelled of cooking.Upstairs came the creaking violin, a gypsy tune.Following the sound of the piano, he climbed two more flights of stairs, and when he saw a half-open attic door, he knocked a few times.When the Finnish girl came to the door, she remained calm and showed no sign of surprise.

"Can I talk to you?" he said. She stepped aside. The violin player was a young man in black.Seeing the stranger approaching, he paused in the middle of the phrase, glanced at the lanky woman, picked up his cap, and left without a word. He speaks to the Finnish girl. "I saw you on the street and I followed you. Can we talk privately?" She sat down on the couch, but didn't invite him to.Her feet barely reached the floor. "Go ahead," she said. "Yesterday you brought up my son's death. I wanted to know more about it. No revenge. Just to comfort myself, I mean to ease my pain."

She looked at him inquiringly. "Alleviate your own pain?" "I didn't come to Petersburg to investigate for myself," he continued stubbornly, "but since you mentioned the circumstances of his death, I cannot ignore it, I cannot ignore it." he stops.He felt dizzy and suddenly felt weak.He closed his eyes, dazedly as if he saw Pavel walking towards him.Pavel was accompanied by a girl whom he had chosen as his bride.Pavel was about to speak, to introduce the girl to him; he was thinking: Well, I've done my job raising my son all these years, and it's finally over, he belongs at last!He was about to smile at Pavel with joy and relief.But who is the bride?Was it the slender young woman with piercing blue eyes and almost as tall as Pavel?

He dragged himself back from the fantasy.His next words were already out, buzzing in his ears. "I have an inescapable responsibility to him," he said. that's it.This sentence stopped abruptly.A silence followed, a longer and longer silence.He tried to conjure up visions of Pavel and his bride, but it was Ivanov, or at least his hands, that appeared: pale, fat fingers poking out like maggots from green wool gloves.The face seemed to be constantly shaking in the sulfur smoke, not giving him time to take a closer look.He got the impression, however, of a perpetually smiling, sly face, as if the man knew something that could hurt him, and wished he knew it too.

He shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts.But it seems speechless.He stood before the Finnish girl like an actor who has forgotten his lines.There was a heavy silence in the room.Heaviness or stillness, he thought: what kind of stillness would it be if all things were still, and the birds in flight were frozen in the air, and the gigantic earth stopped moving in its orbit!The epilepsy was definitely on the verge of a seizure: he couldn't stop it.He savored the last peace.It's a pity that the calm can't last forever!Far, far away came a scream that must have been his own.There would be a rattling of teeth—the words flashed before his eyes; and then it was all over.

When he came to his senses, he seemed to have gone on a long trip and grown old there.In fact, he was still in the same room as before, still standing, with one hand half-raised.The two women were there, still in the same poses he remembered, but the Finnish girl had a defensive look on her face. "Can I sit down?" he said vaguely, as if his tongue was too big to move well in his mouth. The Finn made room, and he sat down beside her, drooping his head in a dazed state. "What's wrong with you?" she asked. He didn't answer.What is he trying to say?Why is he always so tired?His mind seemed to be clouded.If he were a character in a book, what would he say in such a situation where only the heart speaks and the pages are blank?

"I can't tell you," he said slowly, "that I feel very sad and out of place when I'm with you. You play a game I can't participate in. What attracts you must have attracted Pavel as well." , I'm not interested at all. If I'm being honest, I'd say it disgusts me." The tall girl quietly walked out of the room.The rustle of her clothes and the smell of lavender as she passed stirred an unexpected desire in him.longing for what?Want that girl?Of course not—or not quite.It was rather a longing for youth, for something that is gone forever, for the freedom of undressing and the naked body.Even so, his reaction annoyed him.Why is it happening here and now?It might have something to do with his extreme fatigue, but it might also have something to do with Pavel: to find him in Pavel's world, Pavel's erotic environment.

"They showed me the list of people who had been flagged for execution," he said. The Finn girl looked at him intently. "Those lists are currently in the hands of the police—I hope you understand. They were copied from Pavel's room. What I want to ask is: Is each of you assigned a certain number of assassins, and is there a certain number? Who is appointed to assassinate these special people? If it is the second case, do you need to do some research on those people in advance to get familiar with their daily life? Are you secretly monitoring their situation at home?"

The Finn was about to speak, but he began to recover, his voice drowning out hers. "If this is the case, if this is the case, do you have to get to know the victim better than you would like? Do you call a random person from the street, say, a beggar, and give him Fifty kopeks, told him to dispose of an old blind dog, and the man found rope, made a noose, petted the dog to quiet it, and whispered something, as he did so , felt the undercurrent of emotion began to surge, and from that moment on, he and the dog were no longer strangers, what was originally a simple work task, now turned into the most despicable betrayal——so despicable that when he When the dog was hoisted up, the dog’s barking would linger in his ears for days—the dog’s screams of surprise: How could it be you? Will that thought stop you from doing it?” As he spoke, the tall woman returned.She was kneeling in the far corner of the room, folding sheets and rolling cushions.Finnish girls come alive.Her eyes lit up and she couldn't wait to speak.But he went on and on without letting her interrupt. "If an ordinary dog ​​can do that, what power does the man or woman you're trying to get rid of have to make you feel uneasy? I think that the selection of enemies of the people, no matter how scientific, It is impossible for those who go to kill them to feel at ease. For example: Who is identified as the first person Pavel is going to kill? Who is he assigned to kill?" "Why do you ask that? What do you want to know?" "Because I was going to go to that man's house and kneel in front of his house to say thank you that Pavel never made it." "So, you are glad that Pavel was killed?" "Pavel didn't die. He could have died, but he was lucky enough to survive." The other woman spoke for the first time. "Will you come and sit here, Fyodor Mikhailovich?" she said, pointing to the table by the window, where there were two chairs. "My sister," the Finn introduced. "Sisters, but not of the same parents," said another.Their laughter is easy and casual. Her accent was Petersburg, but deep.A vocally trained voice.He felt he had seen her before.Singing actor?When he used to frequent the opera?Given her age, it couldn't be from that era. He took one of the chairs; she sat down opposite him.Tables are narrow.Her feet touched his; he moved a little.