Chapter 20 Chapter Four (5)

The bed board was pressed heavily on me, and I stretched myself as far as I could, and the bed board creaked and moved.Sweating profusely under the bed, embarrassed and nauseous, I could barely contain myself, and finally I couldn't help moaning: a long, low moan rose from my throat and merged with their gasps. After they were done, they slowly calmed down, the writhing and writhing stopped, and they gradually fell asleep while lying side by side. My whole body was stiff, and my eyes were wide open under the bed, waiting for the opportunity to rush out.When the chicks start to nap, only the sun is awake.The hut under the flat roof was almost suffocatingly hot, and I hadn't eaten or drank all day.

I propped my feet against the wall and slowly moved out from under the bed, sitting up tremblingly.The pain in the back is terrible, it is the pain of the elderly. "I'm sorry." I whispered.They were sleeping soundly, like two children, a boy and a girl, naked, arm in arm, sweat dripping down, their faces peaceful and bright.There was another wave of shame, and her beautiful carcass did not arouse my desire but gave me a drink: there is nothing uglier than a flabby, smelly old body holding this body in its arms ( Why didn't they smell it?)!I actually pressed my body on this childlike body that was as enchanting and tender as a flower—not only for her, but for another one too?I was supposed to be where I belonged—a shrew with a pungent-smelling fat armpit, a whore with a loose vagina, letting myself rot.I limped down the stairs on tiptoe, barely keeping my eyes open in the sun.

The kitchen door was open, and an old woman was bending over and wriggling her toothless mouth. She was standing there holding something in a cast iron pot.Our eyes met and she froze, her spoon resting on the rim of the pot, her mouth open.She recognized me.I held up my hand and smiled at her—I was surprised how easy it was to smile.The spoon moved again, her lips were chewing and chewing, her eyes moved away, and I walked through it. The north gate with the bar is closed.I boarded the watchtower by the city wall and looked into the distance, and saw the scenery I longed for day and night: a green open area next to the river, now stained with patches of black spots, new reeds in the light green swamp It was sprouting, and there was a blinding light on the lake.

But something is amiss.How long can I be isolated from here by running outside?Two months or ten years?The patch of wheat seedlings below the wall should have been eighteen inches high by now, but it wasn't there, and the crops were sickly yellow in the western part of the country, which was poorly irrigated.Near the lake is a large piece of bare desert, next to the irrigation wall is a gray dividing line, where there are piles of residual millet and straw. The fields before my eyes, the sunlit squares, the empty streets, all evolved into a scene of devastation that I had never seen before.The town was abandoned - what other guesses could there be? —That noise I heard two nights ago, not coming home but going out, that was the reason!My heart skipped a beat (panic? Rejoicing?) But I must have been wrong again: I looked down carefully at the square and saw two boys playing billiards under the mulberry trees, and the tavern in front of me, which showed that life was still going on as usual.

On the tower to the northwest, guards sitting on high stools looked boredly at the desert in the distance.He noticed it as soon as I moved away, and couldn't help but startled. "Get down," he yelled in a stiff voice, "you can't climb up here." I hadn't seen him before.I realized I hadn't seen any of the fort's newcomers since being in the cell.Why are only recruits here? "Don't you know me?" I asked. "Go down." "I'm going down, but first I have to ask you a very important question. You see, there's no one here except you—everyone seems to be sleeping or out. I want to ask: Who are you? Where have all the people I used to know gone? What happened in the fields here? It seems to have been looted, why is there looting?" I chattered, and his eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry to ask you such a stupid question, but I've been lying in bed these days with a fever and sickness"—a set of illogical statements blurted out—"Today is the first day I can get out of bed. This is why would……"

"You've got to take care you don't let the midday sun spoil it, old man," he said.His ears stick out from under a hat that's too big for him. "You'd better not go out in this weather." "Yeah...do you mind if I ask for some water?" He handed over a long-necked bottle, and I drank the warm water in the bottle, reminding myself not to show too hunger and thirst. "Tell me what happened, please?" "Savages. They broke the dike over there and flooded the fields. Didn't even meet. They came at night. The next day the lake was a different look." He was smoking and handing me come over.I politely declined ("I'm coughing and I can't smoke"). "The farmers are miserable. They say the crops are all destroyed and it's too late to plant another crop."

"Too bad. Looks like we're going to have to tighten our belts this winter." "Yeah, I don't envy you people at all. The savages will come back again, won't they? They might flood the fields here again sometime." We talked of savages and their treachery.They never tell you clearly, he said: Their trick is to sneak behind you and stab your back with a knife. "Why don't they let us live in peace and quiet? They have their own territory, don't they?" I turned the conversation back to life in the old days here, when there was nothing going on in the borderlands.He called me "Daddy", which is the respectful name of old people for old people. He listened to me as if he met a dumb old country man, but in my opinion, anything is better than staring at nothing all day long.

"Please tell me," said I, "that two nights ago I heard horses riding, and I wondered if the troop had returned." "No," he laughed, "it was just a few people who were brought back. They were brought back in a wagon. That must be what you heard. They got sick from drinking something— The water was terrible, I heard, so that sent them back." "I see! So I don't know what's going on. But when do you think the big troops will come back?" "Soon, it won't be long. You can't live on that unlucky water, can you? I've never seen such an unpopular village or town."

I climb down the tower.This conversation brought me an almost awe of the savage.Strange that no one warned him to keep an eye out for a fat old man in rags!Or was it because he hurried to work last night and didn't have time to explain to him?Who would have expected me to swagger like I don't care!afternoon.The shadow behind me seems to be dragging a pool of ink.I may be the only living creature alive in this four-walled courtyard.I was so excited, so excited to sing it.Even the soreness in my back doesn't seem to bother me anymore. I pushed open the small door on the side and went out.My friend looked down at me from above.I waved to him and he waved to me. "You have to wear a hat!" I patted my bare forehead, shrugged, and smiled.The sun was shining straight down.

Spring wheat is really done.Warm ocher earth creaks between my toes.Waterlogged mud puddles are everywhere.Many seedlings were washed out of the ground.The leaves are browned.Things get worse the closer you get to the lake.Nothing was standing upright, and the farmers had piled up the dead crops to be burned.In the distance of the field, there are a few inch-high grass seedlings growing very conspicuously, which is not a sight.Perhaps these relics were intentionally left behind. The field scenery was also ruined.The two-mile-long polder, a line of defense against the lake's flooding in summer, has finally plugged the breach, but the irrigation system of the criss-crossing ditches in the fields has all but been washed away.Fortunately, the embankment and waterwheel near the lake in the south were not damaged, but the usual sight of horses pulling the waterwheel has also disappeared.I know the farmers are going to have weeks of hard work ahead.But their work may be destroyed by a few people carrying shovels at any time!Look what we've won.What is the use of those routines in military textbooks?While encircling and attacking the enemy's heart, we were stabbed at the door of our own house.

I walked along the old road behind the western wall, and there was no way to go, and there was a sandy ruin in front of me.I don't know if kids are still allowed to come and play here, have their parents locked them in with stories of savages lurking in the caves there?I glanced up at the buddy on the tower, he's not there, he's probably gone to sleep. Our excavation from last year has now been buried in quicksand, with only a few corner posts standing to suggest that this place was once inhabited, too.I cleared a cave for myself and sat down to catch my breath.It is almost impossible for anyone to find here.I leaned against the ancient pillar carved with patterns. The curved fish patterns and ripples carved on it had already faded and changed their appearance under the wind and sun, and finally they were wrapped in frost and frozen underground until many, many Years later in peaceful times, the children of the town found the wind-earthed trusses in their playground, wrapped in the ancient and indecipherable cloth of the desert dwellers. I woke up from the cold.A huge sunset lay red and red on the western horizon.The wind has picked up, and the flying sand has piled up around me.All I have in mind is the word thirst.My child's play plan was to spend the night here with ghosts and ghosts, waiting for the familiar walls and treetops to emerge from night to dawn, but I couldn't stand the shivering.There is nothing outside the walls but hunger.From hole to hole, scurrying like a mouse, I don't even deserve to be an innocent.Why should I play the role of an enemy for them?If they're going to bleed me, at least make them feel guilty.The gloomy fear before was not so scary anymore.If I can regain my arrogance, maybe this escape is not a futile toss, although it has to be somewhat discounted. I rattled and rattled the door of the barracks compound. "Don't you see who's here? I just went outside, let me in now!" A guy ran over in a gust of wind: in the dim light, he and I looked at each other through the bars: this is the guard who guarded me. "Peace me!" he burst out between his teeth, and yanked the latch open.There was a chirping sound behind him, and some people gathered here. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me across the yard. "Who is this?" Someone exclaimed.I was about to answer this question, and wanted to take out the key and wave it around, but suddenly thought that this behavior might be a bit reckless.So I waited at the door of the cell for the guard to open the door and push me in, and I closed the door as soon as I entered.In the dark, his voice was full of uneasy anger: "Listen, if you tell anyone about this time, I will make you eat and walk around! Do you understand? I will make you pay the price You are not allowed to say anything! If anyone asks about last night, just say that I told you to go out for a walk and exercise, and you are not allowed to talk. Understand?" I parted his fingers and pulled myself away. "You have to understand that I could easily run out and find refuge among the savages," I whispered. "Do you know why I came back? Just because you're a poor soldier and you're just following orders. Think about it. "He grabbed my wrist again and I broke away again. "Think about why I'm coming back and what will happen to you if I don't come back. You can't get the sympathy and understanding from those blue uniforms, I'm sure you understand that. Think about what will happen to you if I run away again ’” Now it was my turn to grab his hand. "But don't worry, I won't say it: just make up any story you like, and I will go along with it. I know what you are afraid of." I froze there for a while, silent. "You know what I need most?" I said. "I want food and drink. I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten all day." So it's business as usual.Absurd incarceration as usual.I lay on my back and watched the light above my head slowly grow brighter and dim day by day.Listen to the sound of bricklayers laying bricks in the distance, and the sound of blacksmiths striking iron through the walls.I eat and drink like everyone else - wait.