Chapter 4 run with scissors (3)

Agnes is sitting on the couch in the TV room, eating a large bag of Purina Pets dog food.Seeing me walk into the living room, she smiled and said, "Don't be surprised. It's not as bad as it looks. It tastes really good. Would you like a piece?" "No, no, thank you," I said. "Oh, you don't know what you're missing," she said, and tossed a piece of gray dog ​​food into her mouth. "She's right. Dog food tastes great." A deep voice came from behind me. I turned my head and saw a tall, thin guy with short black hair and a black beard.His eyes are brown and look good-natured. "Hello, remember me? God, the last time I saw you, you were only this tall." He put his hand on his waist and measured it.

"Hi!" I greeted casually, trying not to sound too excited. "I seem to think of you too, a little bit. It seems...you came to my house when I was a child." "Yes, you are right, I am going to visit your mother." "That's it." I said.I put my hands in my pockets to be more natural and casual. "Hope said you wanted to meet me, I'm honored, I feel like a celebrity," he said with a smile. "Yeah, that's what it is. You know, I'm here all day now, and I want to meet everybody." His eyes flickered, and his kind smile faded away: "You live here? You have a room here, don't you?"

I remember about the storage room, and remember Dr. Finch letting him live in the storage room instead of a decent room.I said right away, "Oh, well, I mean, I come here a lot. I don't have a room here, nothing." His expression lightened: "Well," he said, "I see." Hope walked into the living room and put his hand on Bookman's shoulder: "Hello, brother," she said, "I think you two hit it off." "Of course uh," Bookman said, "don't press your hands so hard, God, I'm not a dog." "Well, poor boy," Hope put his hand down, "I forgot how weak you are."

"Is Hope back?" Agnes' voice came from the television room. "Tell her she still owes me four dollars." "I'm here, you can tell me yourself." "Ah, ah, well," Agnes tongue tied, "is it really you? I mean, I can hear your voice. You still owe me four dollars." Hope pokes his head into the TV room: "I know I owe you money. I'll pay you back—holy cow. Oh my god, are you eating dog food?" "Why is everyone making such a big fuss, but it's just ordinary coarse grains." "Ah, Mom," Hope grimaced, "this kind of food is unclean. It's for dogs."

"It tastes so good, it makes people laugh." Bookman licked his lips playfully. Hope turned around: "Don't tell me you have eaten too." "I've eaten a little bit, and you should too." "Anyway, I'm not going to eat dog food." Agnes said, "It's okay, you fussy kid, you're always afraid to try new things. When you were a kid, you didn't dare to try new things." "I'm not afraid to try new things," Hope said. "I just refuse to eat dog food. That's my bottom line." "I don't want to eat either." I said.

Bookman put his hand on my shoulder, and my whole body twitched like an electric shock.He said, "Try it, it's all right." I suddenly cheered up: "If she dares to taste it, I will." Hope looked at me and rolled his eyes: "Bosses, thank you so much, it seems that I'm the only coward. Well, I'll show you what to eat. Give me that bag." Agnes held the bag up and Hope and I reached in and took a piece each, then we looked at each other and put them in our mouths at the same time. It's delicious.Crunchy, sweet and pleasant on the palate.I immediately realized that this small particle must be hard to let go after eating for a long time. "It tastes really good." I said.

"Look, am I right?" Bookman said triumphantly. "I told you already, what do you think now? If it doesn't taste good, why would I still eat it?" Agnes grabbed a handful of dog food, put them into her mouth, and said loudly Chewing, turning her head away again, turned her attention to a soap opera. "Okay, I have to go," Hope said. "Dad wants me to answer the phone in the office, and I have to sort out those insurance papers. See you later." "Okay, see you later." Bookman said. Hope opened the front door, ready to leave. "Bye, Augustine, have fun."

"okay bye bye." After Hope left, Bookman said, "Augustin, do you want to go for a walk with me?" We went downtown, to the Smith University campus, and then we walked further, to Cooley Keirs Hospital in a nearby suburb.All the way, I couldn't help telling him everything about myself.I felt we had so much in common: we were both gay, we both lived in Dr. Finch's house, and neither lived with our own parents.And besides Dr. Finch, we were the only men left in this woman-filled family.However, there is one thing I still can't tell him.I told him about other things, how my parents had fought, how violently; I told about their divorce, how my mother was getting weirder, how often I saw Dr. Finch.Also, I live here most of the time because she has no time to take care of me.

"Having a crazy mum is a pain," she said. "My mum can't take care of me, and neither can my dad." "Yeah, so did my dad. He never left me alone. My mom was just busy with her own writing. I figured she might be juggling a bunch of tricky things and needed more focus." "So, you're being pushed aside, right?" "That's right." "Well," he said, "I see. So you're staying here now, in the house of the crazier Dr. Finch." "Crazy? You think Dr. Finch is crazy?" "In a way. I thought, he's a genius. I know, he saved my life." He said suddenly, "He's the first person—I told him I'm gay. "

"Really?" I asked.He ended up talking about it.Before that, I was still curious, wondering if Hope was wrong.Bookman looked normal, just the usual guy.He didn't wear earrings, and he didn't speak effeminately. He was wearing gray leather shoes and blue polyester pants. There was nothing unusual about his face. How could he look gay? "Me too," I said. "What?" Bookman asked in surprise, stopping on the road. "I'm gay." Now it was his turn to be surprised.He opened his mouth wide, took a deep breath, and his eyes widened. "What? Are you serious?"

"Yes," I said, feeling a little embarrassed, "I thought you knew. I thought Hope told you." "Maria, the Holy Mother of God," he said, "she is wonderful!" "what?" "Nothing, you mean, you're gay?" he asked again. "Yes." I replied. We kept walking, but he stopped again: "Are you sure you're gay? I mean, how long have you thought you were gay?" I told him I was born gay. "That's for sure, you're gay." He laughed happily. We were walking down the street, past a closed store door, where he said to me, "I want you to know that any time you want to talk, I'll come to you. I mean, whether it's day or night. You can talk to me about anything at night—whether it's about this or anything else." I looked at his face.He looked really handsome, I thought, and under the red light of the street lamps, he was indeed extraordinary. "Thank you." I said. "Don't worry about anything," Bookman said confidently, "I will never use you." "Okay." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a box of Marlboros. "You smoke?" "Yes." I admit.It's something I learned from Natalie and it's a habit.At first, I was worried that Dr. Finch or Agnes would be angry and not allow me to smoke in their house, but they didn't care.They just remind me not to burn the whole room down. Bookman took a lighter from his pocket and lit it for me. "Thank you." I said.Smoking has become something I am very passionate about. No matter when and where, it seems that it can comfort me at any time. No wonder my parents often smoke, I think.Now, not only am I used to spending hours polishing my jewellery, or combing my hair until my scalp is bruised, but I now light a cigarette every few minutes. After smoking, throw it under your feet and stamp it out.Now I am an old smoker, but I rarely buy cigarettes by myself. "It's been a pleasure talking to you," Bookman told me when we got back to the door. "Thanks, me too," I said. "Thank you." He said with a smile, his eyes seemed a little moist. Bookman left.He drove off in a wrecked car, and I sat on the couch in the TV room.I felt unspeakably excited, even intoxicated, as if I drank a large bottle of soju.I see a round shard of dog food that Agnes dropped on the loveseat, and without any hesitation, I pick it up and pop it into my mouth.I am no longer afraid to try anything new.