2006 Lenoir, North Carolina What does it mean to truly love someone?For a while, I thought I knew the answer, and the answer was: I love Savannah more than I love myself, and we'll grow old together.It's not too difficult.Savannah once told me that the key to happiness is to realize your dreams, and her dreams are very simple and ordinary, nothing more than basic things like getting married and starting a family.That means I need to get a steady job, buy a house with a white picket fence, buy a pick-up truck or an SUV to take our kids to school, the dentist, soccer practice or piano recitals .Two exactly?Three is not too little?Savannah never made this clear, but my gut tells me that when the time is right, she'll say let's just let it be, God has His way.Savannah is like that, I mean she's religious, I think that's one of the reasons I fell in love with her.Regardless of the changes in each other's lives, I can always imagine sharing the bed with her at night, chatting and laughing with her in my arms, and indulging in each other's arms.

None of this sounds too far-fetched, does it?Especially when we love each other deeply.At least I think so.Something inside told me to believe in myself, but I knew it was impossible.One day when I leave here again, I will never come back again. But now, I will sit on this hillside, look at the horse farm where she is, and wait patiently for her to appear.Of course, Savannah couldn't see where I was.In the military, you learn to be invisible, and I learned that well, because I would never want to end up in a barren mass grave somewhere in Iraq.I have to live well enough to go back to this little mountain town in North Carolina.When you decide to do something, there will always be uneasiness and even regret until the final result.

But here's what I'm sure of: Savannah will never know I'm here today. My heart aches because she's so close to me and untouchable; now we're apart.It's not easy for me to accept the simple fact that we shared a dream that, although it was six years ago, feels like two lifetimes ago.The two of us certainly have memories in common, and the memories are even still vivid.In this respect, though, Savannah is different from me.If her memories are like the stars in the night sky, mine are the empty distance between the stars.I am different from her. After the last reunion, I asked myself thousands of times, why do I have to renew the relationship?Can we continue in the future?In the end, I was the one who put an end to everything after all.

The surrounding trees, whose leaves are just beginning to turn red, glisten as the sun rises above the horizon.The birds also began to sing in the morning, and the air was filled with the fragrance of pine trees and the earth, which was completely different from the strong salty smell of the sea at home.In a short time, the door will open and I will be able to see her.Despite being so far apart, the moment she stepped into the morning light, I found myself holding my breath and not daring to move rashly.Before stepping down the steps, Savannah stretched and looked around.The pastures in the distance shone like a sea of ​​green.She stepped out of the gate and walked to the racecourse.A horse neighed on the grass as a greeting, and another horse followed.My first thought was that Savannah is so small, how can she walk among tall horses easily.But Savannah has always been very good at horses, and the horses are very used to her presence.There were six horses grazing around the fence in the meadow, quarter horses mostly, and Meadows (Savannah's white-hoofed Arabian black horse) at the far end.I rode with her once, and luckily got away without injury.As I try not to lose my life, I remember Savannah looking so comfortable in the saddle, like sitting on the couch watching TV.Savannah now walks up to Meadows to say good morning to him, touching his nose as she speaks to him, then pats his hind legs, and as she turns to walk toward the barn, Meadows His ears perked up cleverly.

Savannah disappears into the barn, then reappears, carrying two buckets - I think they contain oats.She hung the bucket over the fence, and the horses walked slowly towards it.She stepped back to feed the horses, her hair blowing in the breeze, and produced a saddle and bridle.Meadows was still busy eating breakfast, and Savannah saddled him so he could go for a run.A few minutes later, Savannah led Meadows away from the pasture and walked towards the forest path. She looked the same as she did six years ago-I know it's not the case. When I saw her up close last year, I noticed fine lines. began to appear in the corner of her eyes; but she remained the same to me.For me, she will always be twenty-one, and I will always be twenty-three.I had been stationed in Germany before; hadn't been stationed in Faruja or Baghdad, hadn't heard from her, hadn't read her letters at the train station in Samawah a few weeks before my mission.Haven't returned to my hometown for an event that changed my life.

Now twenty-nine years old, I question the decisions I made from time to time.Military life became the only way of life I knew.I don't know whether I should cry or laugh about this point. My attitude is mostly back and forth, it all depends on how I feel at the time.When asked, I always say I'm an ordinary infantryman, and I really do.I still live on base in Germany, have maybe a few thousand dollars in the bank, and I haven't had a date in years.I don't even surf much when I'm on vacation, but I do ride around on my Harley a lot, depending on the mood.Although Harleys are insanely expensive in Germany, they are the best thing I have ever bought for myself, and it suits me perfectly, because in a way, I am used to being a loner.Most of the brothers who are on the same ladder have already retired from the army.In the next few months, I will probably return to Iraq again.At least that's what the gossip and whispers circulating in the base say.Met Savannah for the first time.Lynn.When Curtis - to me, she will always be Savannah.Lynn.Curtis, I never expected these turns in my life, nor did I expect to be in the military.

But we finally met.Because of this, my life now is extraordinarily strange and strange.When we were together, I fell in love with Savannah; when we were apart, I loved her even more.Our story is divided into three chapters: beginning, middle and end.While all stories go this way, I still can't believe we couldn't avoid the ending chapter. Looking back on the past, I, as always, remember our time together.Now those memories are all I have left, and I find myself remembering how it all began.