Chapter 18 12-1

Johnny Fontane casually waved the manservant away and said, "See you in the morning, Billy." The black butler bowed and exited the spacious dining-living room overlooking the Pacific Ocean.The nodding and bowing of the butler is an expression of farewell between friends, not the kind of servant's servility to the master.He said that because Johnny Fontane had company at dinner. Johnny's guest was a girl named Sharon Moore, who lived in Greenwich Village, New York City, and was in Hollywood to audition for a supporting role in a film created by her long-time lover, who had become famous in one fell swoop. .She had visited here back when Johnny was an actor at the Woltz Film Studios.Johnny saw that she was young and fresh, charming and smart, so he invited her to come to his place for dinner that evening.He often invites people to dinner, which is also known far and wide.And his invitation had the helm of a royal invitation, and of course she agreed.

Sharon Moore had heard of him for a long time, but Johnny hated the Hollywood way of "eat meat."He will never sleep with any girl unless he really likes her.There were exceptions, of course, when he was so drunk that he suddenly found himself in bed with a girl he couldn't even remember meeting or seeing.He was thirty-five now, divorced, had a falling out with his second wife, and probably touched a thousand women's naked bottoms, so he wasn't so eager.But there was something about Sharon Moore that stirred the waves of love in him, and that was why he invited her to dinner.

He doesn't eat much, but he knows that young and beautiful girls are insatiable for beautiful clothes, and they usually eat a lot when they are dating men, so the food on the table is very rich.There are also many wines: there are barrel-packed champagne, Scotch whiskey, rye whiskey, brandy and so on.There are also all kinds of strong liqueurs in the cupboard.After they finished eating, he led her into the spacious living room, which looked out to the Pacific Ocean through the glass windows.He put a stack of Ella Fitzgerald records on the cassette player, and sat down on the couch with Sharon.He chatted with her and learned something about her: Was she a naughty girl like a boy when she was young, or a delicate girl who was obsessed with boys?Did she look ordinary, or was she beautiful?Are you withdrawn by nature, or are you cheerful?He had always found these situations to be very emotional, and talking about such trivialities would arouse the passion he needed to sleep with a woman.

They were snuggled together on the sofa, very friendly, very comfortable.He kissed her on the lips, a cold, friendly kiss, and she let him do it without excitement.Outside the large, scenic windows, he could see the flat Pacific Ocean, a dark blue in the moonlight. "Why don't you play your own records?" Sharon asked him. There was a teasing tone in her voice.Johnny smiled at her, amused by her teasing. "I don't have that Hollywood flair," he said. "Play it for me," she said, "or you sing it to me. You know, you gotta sing it like you're in the movie, and I'll be like the girls see you on the screen, and I'll go crazy Get up and pour it limp upon you."

Johnny couldn't help laughing.I think he did this kind of thing when he was young, and the effect was always like acting. The girls deliberately pretended to be sensual and flattering, making them look limp, making their eyes teary and full of desire.Now he never sings to a girl again: first, he hasn't sung for months, and he is not sure about his voice; To sing so well.He could have played the records he made back then, but now he feels ashamed to hear his youthful, passionate voice, like an old, bald and fat old man who takes pictures of himself in his prime The kind of embarrassment you feel when you look at it.

"My voice is bad, I can't sing," he said. "Let's be honest, I feel like throwing up when I hear myself singing." They drank again. "I heard you did a great job in this movie," she said. "You don't get paid for acting. Is that true?" "It's just a token amount of money," Johnny said. He stood up, refilled her glass with brandy, handed her a cigarette with a gold pattern on it, and lit her with a lighter.She smoked and drank; he sat down beside her again.He had much more wine in his glass than hers, and he needed wine to make himself hot, excited, impulsive.His present situation was the opposite of the usual situation at a lover's tryst, and it was he himself and not the girl who needed to get drunk.Girls are usually full of wishes, but he himself is a little bit unmotivated.He's been so pissed off with his body the last two years.He used this simple method of rejuvenating his body: sleeping with a young girl for the night, buying her a few meals, giving her a costly present, and then letting her go with the most ingenious shake of his hand, without hurting her feelings.Afterwards, they could always say that they had a friendship with the famous Johnny Fontane.It's not real love, but when you meet a beautiful and really lovely girl, you can't stop such things.He hates the kind of slut who begs for nothing, the kind of woman who first presses on and then walks away.They told their friends that they had seduced the famous Johnny Fontane, and then added, as usual, that their friends had better try it too.But what puzzled him was that those husbands who flattered and behaved were telling him to his face that they forgave their wives.Because they think that even the most virtuous woman can be forgiven for hooking up with a singer and movie star like Johnny Fontane.This really put him at a disadvantage.

He loved the Ella Fitzgerald recordings on the record, the clean singing, the clean lyrics, the only thing in life he really understood.He knew he understood this far better than anyone else in the world.Now, leaning back on the sofa, the brandy warming his throat, he felt a desire to sing, not to sing the tune but to hum the words to the record, but he couldn't do that in front of strangers. of.He was sipping wine with a wine glass in one hand, casually put the other hand on Sha Rong's thigh, and lifted the skirt up, revealing the milky white thigh.What if he had become as weak in this respect as his voice?

Now he is ready.He put the glass down on the long low intarsia table and turned to face her.He was very sure, very composed, and very soft.In his gestures of caress there is neither concealment nor indulgence of sensual frenzy. He kisses her on the lips.She also said that his kisses were passionate but not indulgent; he liked warm and gentle kisses.Later, she moved her lips from his, twisted her supine body on the sofa slightly, and reached for the wine glass in a calm but unmistakable refusal.This has happened before, occasionally, but it happened.John also picked up his glass and smoked a cigarette.

She spoke her mind, very sweetly, very softly. "It's not because I don't like you, Johnny, you're cuter than I thought. And it's not because I'm not that girl. It's just that I need to be teased and aroused, you know what I mean ?" Johnny Fontane smiled at her, still fond of her. "Could it be that I can't tease you?" She was a little embarrassed. "Well, you know without mentioning that when you became a famous singer and a big celebrity, I was still a baby. Fate just missed me and you, I am a junior; to be honest, it is not that I am prudish, if I were a big girl when you were a star, I would take off my underwear on my own initiative. "

This time he didn't like her very much.She's sweet, smart, and intelligent.She didn't fall into his arms because his back door could help her in the show, she was a frank girl.But, besides this, he felt something else, which had happened several times before.The girl he was dating had made up her mind not to sleep with him, even though she liked him very much, just so that she could tell her friend or self-indulgence that she had voluntarily passed up the chance to seduce the famous Johnny Fontane .He realized now: he was getting old.He is not angry.It's just that he doesn't like her as much now as before; he really liked her very much before.

Because he wasn't as fond of her now as he was before, he felt much more at ease.As he drank, he gazed at the Pacific Ocean.She said: "I hope you're not chilled, Johnny, but I'm being blunt. I think a girl in Hollywood can just walk away in a situation like that. It's like kissing your hand goodnight when you say goodbye at night. I haven't Come here, don't understand the rules here." Johnny smiled at her, touched her cheek, and reached down and pulled her skirt over her round, bare knees. "I'm not chilling," he said. "An old-fashioned tryst would be fun, too." They each drank another glass of wine, kissed each other coldly, and she decided to go.Johnny said, "Can I buy you dinner some other night?" She simply came to be completely frank and sincere, and brought the problem to the fore. "I know you don't want to waste your time and end up with nothing," she said. "Thanks, I had a good time tonight. Someday I'll tell my kids, 'I'm with the famous Johnny Fong. Tan had dinner with him, in his mansion.'” He smiled at her again. "Also tell your kids that you didn't give in," he said.They both laughed out loud. "My kids won't believe that," she said. Then, Johnny put on airs again, he said, "I'd like to write you a letter, would you?" She shook her head. He continued: "If anyone doubts you, you can call me, and I promise to clarify the problem for you. I said that I chased and chased all over the house, but you have always maintained your chastity. In this way, OK?" He was really mean in the end, and he also felt that he had hurt the girl's face.He understood that he meant that he wasn't pushing her too hard, and the sweetness of her victory was greatly diminished by that.She was the winner tonight because she still lacked wrist and charisma.When she told how she rejected the famous Johnny.When Fang Tan had a temper like hers, she would smile awkwardly and say, "Of course, he didn't force it." He felt a little sympathetic to her, so he said: "If you get bored sooner or later, just give me a call, okay? I don't necessarily sleep with every girl I know." "I'll call you." With that, she walked out the door. He had to get through the long night alone.He could have adopted what Jack Woltz called the "butcher shop policy," a swarm of willing starlets, but what he longed for was a human partner.He longed to be able to talk like a human being.He thought of his first wife, Virginia.Now that production on that film is over, he can spend more time caring for his children.He would like to be part of their life again.He was also worried about Virginia.She couldn't handle the swanky hipsters of Hollywood who were likely to come after her so they could brag that they had hooked Johnny Fontane's first wife.As far as he knows, no one has been able to blow such cowhide.However, when it comes to his second wife, every man can probably brag like that.After thinking about it, he felt very uncomfortable, so he picked up the phone. It was no surprise that he recognized her voice immediately.When he was ten years old, they both learned to sing in music class. "Hey, Ginny," he said, "what are you doing tonight? May I come and sit for a while?" "Yes," she said, "but the kids are asleep and I don't want to wake them up." "You don't have to wake them up. I just want to talk to you." Her voice was a little hesitant at first, and then she carefully controlled herself so as not to show any irritation."Is there anything that must be discussed? Is there anything important?" she asked. "No," Johnny said, "I just finished filming that film today; I thought maybe I could come and see you and talk to you. If you don't think it's going to wake the kids up, maybe I could just drop by and see them." .” "Then you come," she said. "You played the part you wanted to play, and I'm happy for you." "Thank you," he said, "I'll be here in half an hour." Johnny Fontane arrived at the Beverly Hills, which had once been his home, but did not get out of the car right away.He sat inside for a while, gazing at the house.He remembered what his godfather had said, that he could create his own life as he wished.If you know what your desire is, there is a chance of success, but what exactly is his desire? His first wife was waiting for him at the door.She was beautiful, small, dark, and a lovely Italian girl.She never fooled around with other men, which was very valuable to him.Does he still want her?They asked themselves, and the answer was "no."One thing is certain, that is, it is impossible for him to express his love to her on his own initiative.Because the relationship between the two of them was too old and tasteless, and there were some things that had nothing to do with sex, she would never forgive him.But now they are no longer enemies. She made him some coffee and some home-made pastries and made him sit in the living room. "You can lie on the sofa and rest," she said, "it seems that you are tired." He took off his coat and shoes and loosened his tie; she sat in the opposite chair with a serious smile on her face. "Strange," she said. "What's weird?" he asked, drinking his coffee and accidentally spilling it on his shirt. "The famous Johnny Fontane doesn't go out for trysts, he just gets bored," she said. "The famous Johnny Fontane would have been lucky if he could get away with women," he said. It was rare for him to speak so bluntly.Ginny asked, "What happened?" Johnny gave her a wry smile. "I was having a tryst with a girl at my apartment; she threw me off and walked away. You know, it's a relief to me." To his surprise, he saw a look of anger on Ginny's face. "Don't worry about those little sluts," she said. "That woman must have thought you'd be interested in her that way." Ginny was actually annoyed at the girl for rejecting him. "Oh, it's boring," he said. "I'm sick of this stuff. I'm getting old. I can't even sing a song now, and I think I'm going to give a woman a hard time. You see, I It doesn't look old at the moment." She said sincerely: "You usually look much better than your photos." Johnny shook his head. "I'm getting fat and I'm going bald. Damn, if this movie doesn't get me back in the movie business, I might as well be baking pies. But I might put you in production." In the factory, you still look like a good-looking talent." She looked thirty-five years old, she was thirty-five years old, but she was only thirty-five years old after all.In Hollywood, this age is equivalent to a hundred years old.Young and beautiful girls are everywhere, all of them are short-lived, fresh for one year, and some can be fresh for two years.Some are so beautiful that a man's heart might stop beating when he sees them, but once she opens her golden mouth and shows her beautiful teeth, once their eagerness to become famous blinds the lovely sparkle in their eyes, they lose their freshness .Girls who are not impressive can compete with them.You can talk about charm, cleverness, and chic if you like, but the naked sensual beauty of a girl is still the overwhelming force.If there weren't so many such girls, there might be a glimmer of hope for an ordinary-looking, dignified woman.So Ginny felt that what he just said was just trying to flatter her.He was always likable in that, and even in the days of his national fame and prosperity he was always courteous to women, courting them, lighting cigarettes for them, opening doors for them, because he was so courteous As usual, it was all for himself, so the impression he left on the girls who accompanied him to hang out was also very deep.He did this to all girls, even to girls he met overnight, and to girls whose names he didn't know. She smiled at him, a friendly smile. "Johnny, you know you remind me of something. It's been twelve years and you don't have to call me." He sighed and stretched out on the sofa. "I'm not kidding, Ginny, you still look good. I wish I could look like you." She didn't react directly to his words.She could see that he was a little depressed. "Do you think the film is okay? Will the film do you any good?" she asked. Johnny nodded. "It will pay off. It will bring back the good old days for me. If I can get the Academy Award and be resourceful and seize the opportunity, I can relive the good times even if I don't sing. By then Maybe I can give you and the kids some more money." "We have more than enough money," Ginny said. "I want to see the kids more," Johnny said, "and I want to keep my head down. Why can't I come here for dinner every Friday night? I swear I'll never miss coming every Friday, no matter what. It doesn't matter how far I am from here, and it doesn't matter how busy I am. At that time, whenever possible, I will come to spend weekends, or my children can spend a few days with me during winter and summer vacations." Ginny placed an ashtray on his chest. "I think it's okay," she said. "The reason why I insist on not remarrying is because I want you to continue to be their father." She said these words without any emotion, but Johnny Fontane, staring at the ceiling, knew that she said these words to dilute the unpleasant past.When their marriage had just broken up and his career was going downhill, she had said some cruel things. "By the way, I want you to guess who called me," she said. Johnny didn't usually play tricks like that, and he never guessed. "Who?" he asked. Ginny said, "You can make random guesses." Johnny said nothing. "Your godfather," she said. Johnny was amazed. "He never talks to anybody on the phone. What did he say to you?" "He asked me to help you," Ginny said. "He said you were going to be as lucky as ever, that you were making a comeback, but you needed people to trust you. I asked him, why should I help you? He said, because you My boy's real father. He was a good old man, and people made up horrible stories about him." Virginia hated the phone; she had ripped out many of the wires in the house except for the ones in the bedroom and the kitchen.Then they heard the telephone ringing in the kitchen, and she answered it.She returned to the living room with a look of wonder on her face. "It's you, Johnny," she said. "It's Tom Hagen. It's something important." Tom Hagen's voice was calm: "Johnny, the godfather wants me to see you. Now that the film is over, he wants me to arrange some things to help you. He wants me to fly tomorrow morning. You can Come to Los Angeles to pick me up? I have to fly back to New York that night, so you don't have to worry about me pestering you and delaying you all night." "Okay, Tom," Johnny said, "don't worry about me losing a night. Stay overnight and get some rest. I can throw an impromptu dance, and you can meet famous people from the movie world." He often offered to throw balls for his guests.He did not want his old neighbors to think that it was a disgrace for him to associate with them. "Thank you," Hagen said, "but I have to catch a late-night flight. Well, you're going to meet the eleven-a.m. flight out of New York, okay?" "Okay," Johnny said. "Don't get out of the car then," Hagen said. "When I get off the plane, you send someone to pick me up and just lead me into the car." "Okay," Johnny said. Back in the living room, Ginny looked at him questioningly. "My godfather devised a plan for me to help me until the end," John said. "He managed to get me to play the leading role in that movie. I don't know how he did it yet, but I hope it's better for him to stay out of it in the future." He sat down on the sofa again, feeling very tired. Ginny said, "Why don't you just sleep in the guest bedroom? Don't go back tonight; you can have breakfast with the kids. It chills me to think of you all alone in that flat of yours. Are you lonely?" "I don't usually spend much time at home," Johnny said. She laughed: "Then your old problems haven't changed much." She paused for a while and said, "Shall I tidy up the other bedroom for you?" Johnny said, "Why can't I be in your bedroom?" Her face suddenly turned red. "No," she said. She smiled at him, and he smiled at her, and they remained friends. When Johnny woke up the next day, the sun was scorching his ass.Judging by the sunlight coming in through the cracks in the curtains, it could be judged that he had overslept.The sun never shines in from that direction, except in the afternoon.He cried out: "Hi, Ginny. Can I still have breakfast now?" Her voice came from far away: "It's coming soon." She must have prepared it long ago, and the food was warming in the stove.The plate is also ready, and it's enough to put the food in it when the time comes.So as Johnny was lighting his first cigarette of waking life, the bedroom door opened and his two little girls came in pushing the breakfast cart. The two girls were so beautiful, it broke his heart.The two of them were radiant, with delicate features, and their eyes twinkled, showing surprise and eagerness to rush towards him.They both wore old-fashioned hair in long braids, antique smocks, and patent leather shoes.They stood at the breakfast table watching him while he stubbed out his cigarette, waiting for him to call them and throwing his arms around them.Then they both threw themselves into his arms.He pressed his own cheek between their fresh, fragrant cheeks, and his beard made them both scream.Ginny appeared at the bedroom door, pushing the breakfast trolley forward so he could sit on the bed and eat breakfast.She sat next to him on the edge of the bed and poured him coffee and spread butter on his toast.Two little girls sat on the sofa and looked at him.In terms of age, the two of them are no longer cuddling with pillows on the bed, or little dolls that people lift and shake.They were already paying attention to grooming their hair; it turned out to be a mess.He thought: Ah, Christ, they're going to be grown-ups, and Hollywood hooligans are going to be chasing them soon. When he ate, he shared some toast and ham with them, and let them chew a few coffees, which was an old habit left over from his early years: when he sang in the orchestra, he rarely ate with them. , so when he eats (for example, breakfast in the afternoon and dinner in the morning), they also like to share his food.This inversion of what to eat at what time amuses them from having steak and French fries at seven in the morning and ham and eggs in the afternoon. Only Ginny and his few close friends knew how much he loved his girls.When I got divorced and left this family, this was the most troublesome problem.One of the things he fought and fought for was for him to remain their father.He beat around the bush and made Ginny understand that he didn't want her to remarry, not because he was jealous, but because he couldn't lose his status as the child's father.He paid her on time, and in terms of financial income, it would be of great benefit to her not to remarry. The tacit understanding between the two parties was that she could sympathize with people, as long as they did not become members of her family.In this respect, however, he had absolute confidence in her.She was surprisingly shy and prim in relation to relationships.Hollywood bums who depend on rich women flocked to her, salivating at the benefits of her famous ex-husband's prestige after marrying her, but in the end they all fell short. Empty joy. He wasn't at all worried that she'd be thinking about getting back together because he'd suggested sleeping with her the night before.Neither of them wants to restore the relationship between husband and wife back then.She knew: his desire for beauties, his urge to women who were younger and more beautiful than her could not be curbed.It goes without saying that he often slept with the female stars he rehearsed with, and that his masculine charm was as irresistible to them as their beauty was to him. "You've got to get dressed quickly," Ginny said. "Tom's plane's coming." She hissed like a chicken, and the two girls backed out. "Hey," Johnny said, "Ginnie, by the way, do you know that I'm getting a divorce? I'm a free person again." She watched him get dressed.Since they made a new agreement after Don Corleone's daughter got married, he used to keep clean clothes in her house. "Christmas is only two weeks away," she said, "shall you be included?" For the first time, she thought about his holiday life.When he had a good voice, the holidays were the time to sing for big bucks, but even then Christmas was sacred, a time not to be passed lightly.If he let this Christmas pass this year, it would be the second Christmas he missed.Last Christmas he was courting his second wife in Spain, desperately begging her to marry him. "Well," he said, "Christmas Eve and Christmas Day."