Chapter 91 Part Two - Twenty Nine

After Nekhludoff returned to Moscow, the first thing he did was to go to the prison hospital, tell Maslova the unfortunate news that the Privy Council had decided to uphold the original verdict, and asked her to prepare for Siberia. He had little hope of the pleadings drawn up by the lawyers and now brought to prison for Maslova to sign and submit to the Emperor.Strange to say, he didn't want it to work out now.He was mentally prepared to go to Siberia and live among exiles and convicts.Therefore, if Maslova was acquitted, it was difficult for him to imagine how he would arrange his life and Maslova's life.He remembered the words of the American writer Thoreau.Thoreau, when slavery still existed in the United States, said that in a country where slavery was legalized and protected, the only way out for honest citizens was prison.Nekhludoff also had such thoughts, especially after he interviewed various people and saw various situations in Petersburg.

-------- ① Thoreau (1817-1862) - American writer, wrote many articles in support of the abolitionist movement.In his essay "On Civil Disobedience" in 1849, he wrote: "Under a government that imprisons men unjustly, the true escape of an upright man is prison." "Yes, in modern Russia the only way out for an honest man is prison!" he thought.This feeling was all the more acute when he drove to the prison and walked into the prison walls. As soon as the hospital porter recognized Nekhludoff, he told him that Maslova was no longer with them. "Where has she gone?"

"Back to the cell again." "Why did you send her back again?" asked Nekhludoff. "That's the kind of people they are, sir," said the porter with a contemptuous smile. "She got in touch with the doctor and was sent away by the chief doctor." Nekhludoff never imagined that Maslova's mental state was so similar to his.When he heard the news, he seemed to know that a catastrophe was imminent, and he couldn't help being stunned.He felt terrible.His first feeling after hearing the news was shame.At first he thought it ridiculous that he should conceive of a change in her state of mind.He thought, her refusal to accept his sacrifice, her reproaches, her tears, all these were the tricks of a fallen woman, trying to get as much benefit from him as possible.It seemed to him now that the incorrigibility which had been seen in her during his last visit was even clearer now.As he put on the hat casually and walked out of the hospital, such thoughts ran through his mind.

"What now?" he asked himself. "Do I still have to share joys and sorrows with her? Since she behaves like this, can't I leave her alone? " However, as soon as he asked himself the question, he understood at once that he thought he could leave her alone, but it was not she who he wanted to punish, but himself who was punished.He got scared. "No! What happened to her can't change my determination, it can only strengthen my determination. Her mental state prompts her to do whatever she wants. If she wants to flirt with a doctor, let her do it. , that's her business... What I have to do is what my conscience tells me to do," he said to himself. "My conscience requires me to sacrifice my freedom to atone for my sins. I want to marry her, even if it's just a formal marriage; I want to go with her, no matter where she is exiled. These determinations of mine will never change," he said stubbornly Talking to himself, he walked out of the hospital and strode towards the prison gate.

He came to the prison gate and asked the guard on duty to inform the superintendent that he wished to see Maslova.The guard on duty knew Nekhludoff, and told him, like a friend, an important news from the prison: the former captain was dismissed and replaced by another stern officer. "It's much stricter now, terribly strict," said the guard. "He's right here, I'll report right away." The warden was indeed in the prison, and soon came out to meet Nekhludoff.The new warden was a tall, bony man with a protruding forehead, a sullen face, and slow movements. "You can see the prisoner in the visiting room only on certain days," he said, without looking at Nekhludoff.

"I want her to sign the certificate submitted to the emperor." "You can leave it to me." "I want to see the prisoner. I was always allowed to see him." "That was a long time ago," said the warden, casting a hasty glance at Nekhludoff. "I have the governor's permit," insisted Nekhludoff, taking out his wallet. "Let me see," said the superintendent, still without looking him in the eye, and taking the papers from Nekhludoff with a long, fair hand with a gold ring on its forefinger, slowly Read it again. "Come to the office, please," he said.

This time there was no one in the office.The warden sat down behind his desk, flipping through the papers on the desk, obviously wanting to be there while they met.When Nekhludoff asked him if he could see the political prisoner Vera, the warden simply replied that he could not. "Political prisoners are not allowed to visit," he said, and buried himself in the documents again. Nekhludoff, with a letter addressed to Vera in his pocket, felt like a criminal who had been caught in the act. When Maslova entered the office, the superintendent did not look up, and without looking at Maslova or Nekhludoff, he said:

"You can talk!" He finished and continued to read the documents. Maslova was again in her white blouse, skirt and white kerchief, as before.When she came up to Nekhludoff, seeing his cold and angry face, she blushed, rubbed the hem of his coat with one hand, and lowered her eyes.Her embarrassment convinced Nekhludoff that the hospital porter's words were true. Nekhludoff would have liked to have treated her in the same way as before, but he could not shake hands with her as before.He was terribly disgusted with her at the moment. "I have bad news for you," he said in a dull voice, without looking at her or extending his hand. "The appeal has been dismissed by the Privy Council."

"I've expected it," she said in an odd tone, as if panting. In the past Nekhludoff would have asked her how she had expected it, but now he just glanced at her.Tears welled up in her eyes. But instead of softening his heart, it made him even more annoyed with her. The warden stood up and paced the room. In spite of Nekhludoff's dislike for Maslova at the moment, he felt it necessary to express his regret to her. "Don't be discouraged," he said, "the petition to the emperor may be successful. I hope..." "I'm not thinking about it..." she said, squinting at him with tearful eyes.

"Then what are you thinking?" "You have been to the hospital, they have probably told you about me..." "Oh, that's your business," said Nekhludoff coldly, frowning. The violent revulsion of his offended pride, which had subsided, was intensified now when she mentioned the hospital. "A man of wealth and power like him, whom any girl in the upper class would consider happy to marry, is willing to be the husband of a woman who is eager to flirt with a doctor, ’ he thought, looking at her annoyedly. "Here, just sign this certificate," he said, taking out a large envelope from his pocket, and placed the certificate in the envelope on the table.She wiped away her tears with the corner of her kerchief, sat down at the table, and asked him where and what he wrote.

He instructed her what to write and where to write.She sits at the table and straightens the sleeve of her right hand with her left hand.He stood behind her, silently looking down at her arched back that was lying on the table, trembling from time to time because of suppressing sobs.In his heart there was a fierce struggle between evil and good, between humiliated pride and pity for this suffering woman.It turned out that the latter prevailed. He could not remember which emotion came first: whether to pity her first from the bottom of his heart, or to think of himself, his own sin, his own meanness--for which he now blamed her.In short, he suddenly felt guilty, and at the same time felt pity for her. She signed, wiped her ink-stained fingers on her skirt, then stood up and cast a glance at him. "Whatever the outcome, whatever happens, my resolve will never waver," said Nekhludoff. When he thought that he had forgiven her, he felt more pity and love for her.He wanted to comfort her. "I will do what I say. No matter where they send you, I will go with you." "It doesn't matter," she hurriedly interrupted him, her face suddenly brightened. "Think about it, what else do you need on the way." "There seems to be no need. Thank you." The warden came up to them.Without waiting for him to speak, Nekhludoff said good-bye to Maslova and left the prison.He had a joyful and peaceful mood that he had never felt before, and he felt that everyone was lovely.Regardless of Maslova's behavior, his love for her will not change.This thought delighted him and lifted his spirits to unprecedented heights.Let her flirt with the healer, that's her business.He, Nekhludoff, loved her not for himself, but for her, for God. However, Nekhludoff believed that Maslova was flirting with the doctor and was expelled from the hospital. In fact, Maslova was sent by a female doctor to fetch herbs from the pharmacy at the end of the corridor. There I met Uskinov, a tall, acne-prone doctor.Uskinov kept pestering her, and she hated him.This time Maslova gave him a hard push to get rid of him, and he hit the medicine shelf, from which two vials fell and broke. At this time, the chief physician happened to be passing by the corridor, heard the sound of smashing bottles, saw Maslova running out red-faced, and shouted to her angrily: "Hey, little girl, if you play tricks here , I ask you to open the way. What's going on here?" He turned and looked at the doctor sternly from the frame of his glasses, and said. The doctor defended himself with a smiling face.The chief physician didn't finish listening to his words, raised his head, looked at him through his glasses, and went to the ward.That same day he asked the warden to send a more stable female assistant to replace Maslova.That's what Maslova's flirting with the doctor was all about.Maslova was expelled from the hospital on the charge of flirting with men, which was particularly embarrassing to her, since she had long hated sex with men, and since her reunion with Nekhludoff she hated it all the more. thing.All the men, including the pimple-faced healer, who, from who she had been and from where she was, had considered a right to insult her, were amazed at her refusal.But she felt extremely wronged, and couldn't help shedding tears because of her life experience.Now, coming out of the cell, she met Nekhludoff, thinking that he must have heard of her new charge, and wanted to defend herself against the injustice of the matter.She was about to speak up to explain, but she felt that he would not believe him, and would only become more suspicious, so she choked her throat and couldn't continue. Maslova still believed, and tried to convince herself, that she had not forgiven him, she hated him, as she had told him the second time they met.In fact, she had already loved him again, and loved him so deeply that she couldn't help doing whatever he asked her to do.She quit smoking and drinking, stopped coquettish, and went to work as a handyman in the hospital.She did it because it was his wish.Every time he offered to marry her, she always refused, refusing to accept such a sacrifice.It was true that she had said it to him so proudly once, and she would not repeat it, but mainly because she knew that marrying her would bring him misfortune.She made up her mind not to accept his sacrifice, but when she thought that he looked down on her, thinking that she was still the same person, and did not see her spiritual change, she felt very wronged.He probably thinks now that she's done something ugly in the hospital.The thought hurt her more than the news of her final sentence to hard labor.