Chapter 62 Part One - Fifty Nine

There is a widespread superstition that everyone has a fixed nature: some are kind, some are evil, some are smart, some are stupid, some are warm, some are cold, and so on.In fact, people are not like that.We can say that some people are more kind than evil, more intelligent than stupid, more enthusiastic than cold, or vice versa.But it would be wrong for us to say that one person is kind or wise, and another person wicked or stupid.But we often distinguish people in this way.This is not in line with the actual situation.People are like rivers, the waters of which are the same everywhere, but every river is narrow in some places and swift in flow, wide in others and slow in flow, clear in others, and turbid in others, In some places the water is cold, in others the water is warm.The same is true of people.Every human being has the embryos of various human natures, sometimes expressing this kind of human nature and sometimes expressing that kind of human nature.He often becomes unrecognizable, but it is still himself.The changes in some people are particularly dramatic.Nekhludoff was one of these people.Some of these changes are due to physical reasons, and some are due to spiritual reasons.Nekhludoff was now in the midst of such changes.

After the court trial, after his first visit to Katyusha, he experienced a solemn and joyous feeling of rebirth.Now that feeling was gone forever, replaced by the fear and even the loathing of her which had arisen after the last meeting.He had made up his mind not to abandon her, nor to marry her if she would, and yet the matter now pained and vexed him. The day after visiting Maslennikov, he drove to the prison to see her again. The warden allowed him to meet her, but not in the office, not in the lawyer's office, but in the women's visiting room.Although the warden was kind-hearted, his attitude towards Nekhludoff this time was not as warm as last time.The two conversations between Nekhludoff and Maslennikov obviously had negative consequences. Lao Tzu's thought was used, and "Tao" was the origin of the world. Be especially wary of this prisoner.

"It's okay to meet," said the warden, "it's just a matter of money, please be sure to accept my request... As for your letter to ask her to be transferred to the hospital, that's okay, and the doctor agrees." No. Only she didn't want to, she said: 'I'm not going to pour those sick people's chamber pots. . . .' You see, duke, that's how they are," he added. Nekhludoff did not answer anything, but only asked that he be allowed to visit.The warden sent a guard to take him there.Nekhludoff followed him into an empty women's visiting room.

Maslova was already there.She came out from behind the iron fence, looking quiet and shy.She went up to Nekhludoff, and without looking at him, she said in a low voice: "Forgive me, Dmitry Ivan, I spoke badly the day before yesterday." "It's not my turn to forgive you..." Nekhludoff wanted to say, but didn't go on. "But you'd better leave me," added Maslova, casting a sidelong look at him terribly.Nekhludoff again saw tension and resentment in her eyes. "Why on earth should I have to leave you?" "That's how it should be."

"Why should it be like this?" She looked at him again with what he thought was resentment. "Well, honestly," she said. "You'd better leave me, I'm telling you the truth. I can't stand it. Get rid of your ideas," she said with trembling lips, and there was a silence. "I'm telling the truth. I'd rather hang myself." Nekhludoff felt that her refusal meant that she hated him for the humiliation he had inflicted on her and could not forgive him, but there was also a beautiful and important element in it.This calm refusal of him again at once dispelled all the suspicions in Nekhludoff's mind, and restored him to his former seriousness, solemnity, and tenderness.

"Katyusha, I say what I said before, and I say what I say now," he said with great earnestness. "I beg you to marry me. If you don't want to, and you don't want to now, then I will continue to follow you, and I will follow you wherever you are sent." "That's your business. I have nothing more to say," she said, her lips trembling again. Nekhludoff remained silent, feeling unable to continue. "I'm going to the country now, and then I'm going to Petersburg," he said at last, coming together. "I'll fight for your cause . . . for our cause. God forbid, they'll vacate the sentence."

"It doesn't matter if you don't cancel it. If not for this, I must suffer for something else..." said Maslova, who was struggling to hold back his tears. "So, have you seen Minshoff?" she asked abruptly, trying to conceal her excitement. "They didn't commit a crime, did they?" "I think so." "That old woman is all right," she said. Nekhludoff told her everything he had learned from Minshov. He asked her what else she needed, and she replied that she didn't need anything. They fell silent again. "Well, as for the hospital," she said, casting a sidelong glance at him suddenly, "if you want me to go, then I will. I don't drink anymore..."

Nekhludoff silently looked into her eyes.Her eyes are smiling. "That's good," was all he could say, and with that he took her farewell. "Yes, yes, she is quite a different person," thought Nekhludoff.He dispelled all his old doubts, and a new feeling came over him, that is, the belief in the invincible power of love. After meeting Nekhludoff, Maslova returned to the stinking cell, took off her prison robe, and sat down on the bunk with her hands on her knees.There were only a few people in the cell: the consumptive woman from the Vladimir province with the baby, Minshov's old mother, the crossing worker and her two children.The chanter's daughter was diagnosed with mental illness yesterday and was sent to the hospital.The rest of the women went to do their laundry.The old woman was sleeping on her bunk; the cell door was open, and the children were playing in the corridor.The woman from Vladimir province was holding the child in her arms, and the crossing worker was holding a sock, knitting it with his fingers deftly, and walked up to Maslova.

"Well, how's it going, see?" they asked. Maslova did not answer, but sat on the high bunk, shaking her two legs that could not reach the ground. "Why are you crying?" said the crossing worker. "Don't be discouraged. Oh, Katyusha! Speak! ’ she said, knitting with both hands deftly. Maslova did not answer. "They all went to wash their clothes. It is said that a large number of donations came today. A lot has been sent," said the Vladimir woman. "Finaška!" the crossing man called to the door. "The rascal has gone somewhere."

As she spoke, she pulled out a needle, stuck it in the ball of thread and the sock, and went out into the corridor. At this time, footsteps and women's voices came from the corridor.The female prisoners living here were all barefoot and wearing cotton shoes. When they walked into the cell, everyone held a piece of white bread in their hands, and some even carried two.Fedosya immediately went up to Maslova. "Well, is there anything wrong?" asked Fedosya, looking kindly at Maslova with her bright blue eyes. "Look, here's for our snacks," she said, putting the challah on the rack.

"Why, has he changed his mind and doesn't want to marry you?" asked Kolabreva. "No, he didn't change his mind, I didn't want to," said Maslova, "that's what I told him." "Look at you fool!" said Kolabreva hoarsely. "Yes, what's the point of getting married if you can't live together?" said Fedosya. "Then isn't your husband going to go with you?" said the crossing worker. "Then what's the matter, we're officially married," Fedosya said. "But they can't live together, so why get married?" "You're the fool yourself! 'Why marry?' If he married her he'd make her rich." "He said: 'Wherever you are sent, I will go with you,'" Maslova said. "He went, and he didn't go. I didn't ask him. Now he's off to Petersburg. .The ministers over there are all his relatives," she went on, "but I don't need him anyway." "Of course!" agreed Kolabreva suddenly, sorting her bag, apparently thinking of something else. "How about we have some drinks?" "I won't drink," Maslova replied. "You guys drink."