Chapter 109 Chapter 109

Autumn and winter come.Philip had left his current address to his uncle's housekeeper, Mrs. Foster, so that she could write to him.However, he still goes to the hospital once a week to see if there is a letter.One evening, he saw his name appearing on an envelope in a handwriting that he never wanted to see again.He couldn't help feeling an indescribable feeling in his heart.For a while he really didn't want to reach for the letter.It brought back a string of hideous memories.But later, he couldn't hold his breath after all, and tore the letter open. Dear Phil: Is it possible to meet with you as soon as possible.I'm in a bad situation and I don't know what to do.It's not about money.

your faithful Mildred Fitzroy Square 7 William Street He tore the letter into pieces, went to the street, and casually scattered the pieces into the vast twilight. "To hell with her," he muttered. He could not help feeling a surge of disgust at the thought of seeing her again.He didn't care if she was really suffering.No matter how far she falls, she deserves what she deserves!Thinking of her, he was both annoyed and hated. The infatuation in the past has now turned into disgust.Looking back, he was distraught and sick.He even drew back instinctively as he strolled across the Thames, trying not to think of her again.He went to bed, but couldn't sleep.He secretly wondered what happened to her.She would not write to him unless she was desperate.The thought of worrying about her being sick and starving couldn't be dispelled from her mind no matter what.He hated himself for being weak-willed, but he knew that if he didn't see her with his own eyes, he couldn't be at ease.Early the next morning, he scribbled on a postcard and posted it on his way to work in the store.The letter was written as coldly as possible, and only said that he felt sad when he learned of her difficult situation, and that he would visit at the address written at seven o'clock that night.

It was a dingy, run-down tenement house on a dirty street.Philip felt very bad at the thought of seeing her.When he was asking if she lived here, he suddenly wished that she had moved away.It looked just the kind of dwelling that people would move in and out of.It hadn't occurred to him yesterday to look at the postmark on her envelope, wondering how long the letter had been on the shelf.The woman who answered the bell and answered the door did not answer his inquiry, but silently led him through the passage and knocked a few times on a door at the back of the house. "Mrs. Miller, a gentleman is here to see you," she greeted the room.

The door was ajar, and Mildred glanced suspiciously through the crack. "Oh, it's you," she said, "come in." He walked in and she closed the door behind her.It was a small bedroom, as messy as any apartment she had ever lived in.There was a pair of shoes on the floor, one on the east and the other on the other, which had not been wiped clean.The hat was on the chest of drawers, with a few locks of false curls beside it, and the coat lay on the table.Philip was looking for a place to put his hat; the coat hooks behind the door were full of skirts, the hems of which he saw were still stained with mud.

"Sit down, please?" she said, with an awkward laugh. "I think you're a little surprised to hear from me again this time, don't you?" "You have a very hoarse voice," he replied, "do you have a sore throat?" "Yes, it hurts for a while." Philip said nothing, waiting for her to explain why she wanted to see him.The mess in the bedroom was enough to suggest that she had slipped back into the life from which he had once dragged her out.He did not know what had become of the child, there was a photograph of the child on the mantelpiece, but there was nothing in the room to suggest that the child had lived with her.Mildred was holding her handkerchief, rolling it into a little ball, and passing it from hand to hand.He could see that she was very nervous.She stared intently at the fire, and he took his time to look at her without meeting her eyes.She was much thinner than when she left him. The skin on her face was yellow and dry, and it was tighter on her cheekbones.Her hair had been dyed a flaxen color, which made her look all the more vulgar.

"To tell you the truth, my heart was settled when I received your reply letter," she finally said, "I'm afraid you may have left the hospital." Philip said nothing. "I suppose you're officially qualified as a doctor, aren't you?" "No." "how could be?" "I'm no longer in the hospital. A year and a half ago, I had to change careers and find another job." "You just like to see different things and change your mind. It seems that you can't do anything for long." Philip was silent for another moment.Then he said coldly:

"I made a speculative deal, but was unlucky, and lost all the money I had. I had no money to continue my medical studies. I had to try to earn as much money as I could." "So what are you doing now?" "I work in a store." "Oh!" She glanced at him quickly, then looked away.He noticed her blushing.Nervously, she patted her palm lightly with the handkerchief. "You won't forget all your medical skills, right?" She managed to squeeze the words out of her throat, with a strange tone. "Not all forgotten." "That's why I wanted to see you." Her voice dropped to a husky whisper. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Why don't you go to the hospital?" "I don't want to go, let those student buddies all stare at me, if it doesn't work well, they will keep me there." "What's wrong with you?" Philip asked coldly, using the jargon of asking patients in an outpatient room. "Well, I've got a rash all over my body, and it's not going to get better." Philip felt a sudden rush of indescribable disgust, and beads of sweat stood on his brow. "Let me see your throat." He took her to the window and examined her as best he could.Suddenly, he saw her eyes clearly, and those eyes were full of extreme fear, which made people feel horrified.She was really scared.She wanted him to comfort herself; she looked at him with pleading eyes, but she dared not open her mouth to beg him to speak a few words of comfort, but her whole body was tense, wishing to hear such words.However, he didn't say a word to reassure her.

"I'm afraid you are not very ill," said he. "What kind of disease do you think?" When he told her the truth, her face suddenly turned ashen, and even her lips turned yellow.She shed tears in despair, at first it was a silent cry, and then gradually she couldn't cry. "I'm really sorry," he finally said after a long silence, "but I have to tell the truth." "It's really better to seek death, just close your eyes and you'll be done." He ignored the threat. "Do you have any money?" he asked. "Looks like six or seven pounds."

"You can't go on living like this, you know. Don't you think you could get something to do? I'm afraid I can't help you very much, and I only get twelve shillings a week." "What else can I do now?" she yelled impatiently. "What the hell, you've got to figure out something." He spoke to her gravely, telling her exactly what danger she was, and what danger she was posing to others, and she listened morosely.He tried to comfort her, and in the end, despite her displeasure, he managed to get her to reluctantly agree to follow his advice.He wrote a prescription and said he would take it to the nearest pharmacy to have it filled.He also repeatedly told her to take the medicine on time.He stood up and held out his hand, ready to say goodbye.

"Don't hang your head down, your throat will be fine in a while." But just as he was about to leave, her face twisted suddenly, and she stepped forward and grabbed his coat. "Oh, don't leave me;" she cried hoarsely. "I'm so scared. Don't leave me alone, Phil, please! I've got no one else to turn to, and you're the only friend I've ever had!" He felt that her soul was steeped in terror.Strange to say, this horror was similar to what he had seen in his uncle's eyes, when he was afraid that he would die soon.Philip hung his head.This woman broke into his life twice and made him miserable; she had no right to ask him anything.However, he felt a strange pain deep in his heart, and he couldn't figure out why; and it was this pain that made him restless after receiving her letter until he obeyed her. until the call. "I think it's impossible to get rid of this kind of dull pain for the rest of my life," he said to himself. He was at a loss as to what to do with the unaccountable aversion he felt when he was near her. "What do you want me to do?" he asked. "Let's go out and get something to eat together. My treat." He hesitated.He felt her slowly creeping back into his life when he thought she had disappeared from his life forever.She stared at him with a disgusting look of impatience. "Oh, I know I've been treating you very badly, but now, don't leave me alone. You've relieved me, and I don't know what to do if you leave me alone now." Just do it." "Well, I don't mind anyway," he said, "but let's save a little, I don't have money to spend right now." She sat down, put on her shoes, then changed into a skirt and hat, and they went out together, finding a restaurant on Tottonham Court Road.Philip was not used to eating at this time of night, and Mildred's throat was so bad that she could not swallow food.They had a little cold ham, and Philip had a glass of beer.They sat facing each other, as they had always sat before.He wondered if she would remember the scene.There was really nothing to say between them, and if Philip had not forced himself to speak, he would have sat there in silence.The restaurant is brightly lit, and many tacky mirrors reflect each other, and the images are repeated and overlapped endlessly.Under the bright lights, she looked old and haggard.Philip was anxious to inquire about the boy, but he had not the courage to ask.In the end she said it herself: "I tell you, the boy died last summer." "Ah!" he said. "Perhaps you feel bad?" "No," he replied, "I'm very happy." She glanced at him, understood what he meant, and looked away. "You were fond of the child, weren't you? I always wondered how you could be so fond of another man's child." When they had finished they went to the chemist's, where Philip had left the prescription there, to be filled first.After returning to the messy and dilapidated bedroom, he told her to swallow a dose.They sat idle some time longer, and did not rise until Philip was obliged to return to Harrington Street.This tossing really bored him. Philip went to see her every day.She took the medicine he prescribed and did what he told her to do.It didn't take long before the curative effect was really remarkable. As a result, she was completely convinced by Philip's medical skills.As her condition gradually improved, she was no longer so depressed.It's much easier to speak. "As soon as I got a job, everything fell into place," she said. "I've had enough wrestling, now I want to learn to be good, so you don't have to worry about me anymore." Whenever Philip saw her he asked her if she had any work.She told him not to worry, but if he made up his mind, he would find something to do.She has a lot of preparations, so it would be better to take advantage of this week or two to recharge her batteries.In this regard, it was inconvenient for him to say that she was not, but as the deadline approached, he became more and more stubborn.She was in a much brighter mood now, and she laughed at him, saying he was a little old man who liked nothing to do.She babbled to him about her interviews with the proprietresses because she was going to get a job in a restaurant.She also told him what the landlady had said, and what she had answered.Right now, nothing has been finalized, but she believes that there will be a clue by the beginning of next week. There is no need to rush, and you will regret it if you choose the wrong job. "That's absurd," he said impatiently. "You've got to do whatever you can find now, and I can't help you, and you don't have endless money." "Ah, but I'm not at the end of my rope yet, I can still try my luck." He regarded her sternly.Three weeks had passed since their first meeting, and she had not yet had seven pounds on hand.He suddenly became suspicious.He recalled some of what she had said and thought about it carefully.He wondered if she had actually looked for work.Perhaps she had been deceiving him.It is a great strange thing that the money in her hand can last for so many days. "How much is your rent here?" "Hey, the landlady is kind and friendly. She is different from other landlady. She never comes to pay the rent. I pay whenever it is convenient for me." He was silent.If what he suspected were true, it would be horrific.This could not help but make him hesitate.It was no use cross-examining her, she would admit nothing, and if one wanted to know the truth, one had to find out for herself.He had become accustomed to parting from her at eight o'clock every evening, rising as soon as the clock struck; but this time he did not go straight back to Harrington Street, but stood on the corner of Fitzroy Square, so that he would not care. No one walking along William Street could escape his eyes.He seemed to feel that he had been waiting for a long time, and he thought that maybe he had guessed wrong.He was about to leave when the door of number seven opened and Mildred came out.He dodged and hid back in the dark, watching her coming towards her.She wore a hat with a tuft of feathers that he had seen in her room, and she wore a dress he recognized, too conspicuous for the street and out of season.He followed her and walked slowly until he came to Toton Court Road. She slowed down, stopped at the corner of Oxford Street, looked around, and then crossed the road to the front of a music hall. .He hurried forward a few steps and touched her arm.He saw that she had rouge on her cheeks and a layer of lipstick on her lips. "Where are you going, Mildred?" She couldn't help being startled when she heard his voice, her face turned red like she usually does when someone exposes her lies.Then, a sullen look he was familiar with shot out of her eyes, and she instinctively tried to defend herself by swearing, but she swallowed the words again. "Why, I just wanted to see the show. It's suffocating to be sitting all by myself every night." He no longer pretended to believe her words. "You can't do that. My God, I've told you fifty times how dangerous it is! You've got to get back on the brink." "Come on, don't do that!" she yelled roughly, "do you think I can live off the North-West wind?" He grabbed her arm, subconsciously trying to drag her away. "For God's sake, come on. Let me take you home. You don't know what you're doing! It's a crime!" "What does it matter to me? Let them take their chances! Men have been treating me like this, do I have to worry about them?" After all, she pushed Philip away, walked to the ticket office, paid the money and went in.Philip had only threepence in his pocket and could not follow her in.He turned around and walked slowly along Oxford Street. "There's nothing I can do anymore," he murmured. That was the end of the matter.From then on, he never saw Mildred again.