Chapter 105 Chapter 105

The salary of the clerk is paid by the secretary once a month.When it came time to pay wages, groups of clerks came down from upstairs after having refreshments, walked into the aisle, and lined up behind the long queue waiting to receive their wages.The line is neat, like a long line of audience waiting in front of the museum to buy tickets.They walked into the office one by one.The secretary sat behind the desk, with several wooden boxes containing banknotes in front of him.After calling the clerk's name, he glanced at the clerk suspiciously, then quickly glanced at an account book, read out the payable wages, casually took out the banknotes from the wooden box, and Zhang Zhang counted into his hands.

"Thank you," said the secretary. "Next person." "Thank you," returned the salaried clerk. Then the clerk went up to another secretary and paid four shillings for laundry, two shillings for club fees, and fines if fined.Then he leaves the office, grabs the remaining money, goes back to his job, and stays there until the end of the day.Most of the people who lived in Philip's dormitory were in debt to the sandwich woman because they usually bought her sandwiches for supper.She was a funny old woman, plump, with a broad, rosy face, and black hair parted neatly on either side of her forehead, in the same way as Queen Victoria in early portraits.She always wore a black bonnet on her head and a white apron around her waist.The sleeves are always rolled up high in the crook of the arm.She cuts sandwiches with those big dirty, greasy hands.Her vest, apron and skirt were covered in oil stains.Her name was Mrs. Fletcher, but everyone called her "Mama," and she liked the clerks very much, calling them her children.Towards the end of the month she never objected to the clerks who came to buy sandwiches on credit from her, and it was said that sometimes she lent him a few shillings of tweed when a clerk was in trouble.She is a kind woman.When the clerks went away on vacation or came back from vacation, they all went to kiss her fat, red cheeks.It wasn't uncommon for someone, after being fired and unable to find a job for a while, to get sandwiches from her for free to keep alive.The clerks are also kind-hearted, knowing that she has a good heart, they all repay her with sincere respect and love.They used to tell a story about a man who had made a fortune in Bradford, opened five shops, and came back to London fifteen years later, and came to see Mama Fletcher and gave her a piece of gold. Table miles.

Philip found that he had eighteen shillings left over a month's wages.This was the first time in his life that he earned money with his own hands, but it didn't bring him the sense of pride he might have had, only a sense of sadness in his heart.The small amount of the money further highlights the hardship of his situation.He had fifteen shillings with him, which he handed to Mrs. Athelny, as part of his arrears.But Mrs. Athelny only took ten shillings, and would not take a cent more. "You know, it's going to take me eight months to pay you off at this rate." "As long as Athelny doesn't lose his job, I can afford to wait. Maybe the company will give you a raise."

Athelny kept saying that he was going to speak to the manager about Philip, that it was absurd not to make full use of Philip's talents, but he did not do anything.Philip soon came to the conclusion that the company's press agent was not as important a figure in the manager's mind as Athelny himself thought.Occasionally Philip saw Athelny in the shop, and then, out of nowhere, he saw a humble, unassuming little old man in neat, ordinary, shabby clothes walking. Hurrying through the various departments, as if afraid of being seen. "Whenever I think of my talents being buried in the company," said Athelny at home, "I wish I could hand in a letter of resignation. People like me have no future there. My talents are suppressed." , is useless."

Madame Athelny, silently sewing, ignored his complaints.She pouted. "It's hard to find a job at this time. You've got a job that's fixed and secure right now. I hope you'll stay there for me as long as you're satisfied." Athelny would obviously do as she was told.It was amusing to see how the illiterate woman who had been married to him without going through the legal process was able to get hold of the brilliant, volatile man.Now Philip was in a different situation.Madame Athelny's motherly delicacy for him, her eagerness to make Philip a good meal, struck violently at Philip's heartstrings.It was his consolation to spend every Sunday in such a friendly family (the monotony and dullness of which, as he grew used to it, amazed).It was a pleasure to sit in that stately Spanish chair and discuss world affairs with Athelny.Though his present situation appeared to be in dire straits, he never let Philip go back to Harrington Street until he was delighted to say so.At first Philip tried to study his medical text-books vigorously, in order not to let his previous studies be neglected, but he found this effort fruitless.After a day of tiring work, he couldn't concentrate on the book, and since he didn't know how long he would have to wait before returning to the hospital, it didn't seem to help him to concentrate on studying after work .How many times he dreamed that he was back in the ward again, but when he woke up, his heart was in pain.Philip felt an indescribable annoyance at seeing other people asleep in the room.He was born to be alone, and now he had to mix with other people all day long, and he couldn't be alone for a while, and it was horrible.It was at such times that he found it difficult to overcome his despair!He knew he'd just have to keep doing his job as a customer waiter, saying things like "Turn right first, second room on the left, ma'am."As long as he doesn't get kicked out of the store, thank goodness!Because the shop assistants who fought in the war would soon be demobilized and returned, the company had promised to keep their positions, so another group of people would have to pack up and leave.He will have to do whatever it takes to keep the menial job he has.

Only one thing can get him out of his present predicament, and that is that his uncle pastor will go to God as soon as possible.By then, he could have received a few hundred pounds, with which he would be able to complete the course at the hospital.Philip grew absorbed in looking forward to the old man's quick death.He pinched his fingers and calculated how long his uncle could live in the world.His uncle was well past seventy years, and Philip could not say how old he was, but he was at least seventy-five, and had chronic bronchitis, which made him cough badly in winter.Although Philip was familiar with the details of chronic bronchitis in old age, he still consulted medical books again and again.One harsh winter is enough for the old thing.Philip hoped with all his heart that there would be a cold snap and a rainstorm.This idea was circling in his mind all the time.He was literally paranoid.High temperatures can also affect Uncle William's health, and in August there are three weeks of hot weather.It occurred to Philip that one day a telegram of condolence would come to report the vicar's sudden death, and he imagined the unspeakable relief he would feel then.Others stood at the top of the stairs, directing people to the various departments, while their minds were constantly figuring out how to spend the money.How much he was going to get, he couldn't say, probably no more than five hundred pounds.However, even this little money is enough to come in handy.He's leaving the store immediately, and he doesn't want to give a letter of resignation!Then he went to bundle the boxes and walked away without saying hello to anyone.Then he will go back to the hospital.This is the first step.By then, will homework be forgotten much better?It doesn't matter!In just half a year, he can make up all the wasted homework. Once he is ready, he will take the exams for three items, first in obstetrics and gynecology, and then in internal medicine and surgery.Suddenly Philip was overwhelmed by the dread that his uncle would, in spite of his promise, bequeath the estate to the parish or church.This thought worried Philip.His uncle wouldn't be so cruel.However, if this was the case, he had already made up his mind about what he would do, and he would never let this kind of day drag on for too long.The reason why he can still live in humiliation is because he still has hope.Without hope, there is no fear.Until then, the only definitive measure is suicide.The thought of suicide made Philip think very concretely, down to which fatal and painless drug to take, and how to get it.Thinking of this, his courage doubled.If things got to the point where he couldn't bear it, he still had a way to deal with it anyway.

"The second door from the right, ma'am, is downstairs. The first door on the left, just go in. Mr. Phillips, please go forward." Philip works one week a month.He had to be at the store at seven o'clock in the morning to supervise the cleaners.After cleaning, he had to remove the gray cloth covering the frame and the models.Then, in the evening, after the shop assistants were off duty, he had to put gray cloths over the frames and models, and at the same time had to "partner" with the cleaners to clean the store.It's a dirty job that eats dust.Reading, writing and smoking were not allowed in the shop, so he had to pace around the shop, so time passed tiresomely slowly.The only consolation was that the company provided him with a free dinner when he got off work at 9:30.After tea at five o'clock in the afternoon, his appetite was still very strong, so the bread, cheese and abundant cocoa provided by the company that were brought up at this time were still delicious in his mouth.

One day, three months after Philip had come to Lane's, Mr. Sampson, the purchaser, entered the clothing department in a huff.The manager happened to notice the dress windows as he came in, and sent for Mr. Sampson, in whose presence he made a serious sarcasm about the color schemes of the windows.Mr. Sampson had no choice but to bear the sarcasm of his superiors in silence, but on his return he took it out on the clerks, and gave the poor fellow who put up the windows a slap in the face. "If you want to do a good job, you have to do it yourself," growled Mr. Sampson. "That's what I've always said, and I'll always say. You bastards can't do anything. Don't you all say you're smart? Hey, smart ass!"

He would point the noses at the clerks and curse them as if they were the meanest insults in the world. "Don't you guys understand that steel blue in the window doesn't cancel out the other blue colors?" "Cary, next Friday you put up the windows. Let's see what you can do." He walked into his office cursing.Philip was preoccupied.On Friday morning, he went into the window with a feeling sickened by shame, his cheeks burning.It was horrifying to have to make a fool of yourself in front of passers-by, and though he told himself it was foolish to give in to it, he turned his back to the street.It was unlikely that a student from the hospital would have walked through Oxford Street at this time, and besides he had few other acquaintances in London.But Philip always felt as though he had four cottons in his throat as he worked, and suspected that if he turned round he might catch the eye of some acquaintance.He exerted the strength of breastfeeding and hurriedly completed the task.He could see at a glance that the red clothes were all crowded together in the window, so he just separated the clothes a little bit more than before, which had a good effect.The purchase clerk walked to the middle of the street and looked at the window arranged by Philip, with a clear expression of satisfaction on his face.

"I've known for a long time that I couldn't go wrong in asking you to put up the windows. The fact is that you and I are gentlemen, mind you, I wouldn't say that in a shop, but you and I are Gentleman, you can see it anytime and anywhere. It's no use saying you can't, because I know it is." After this, Philip was assigned to put up the windows on a regular basis, but he was not used to this kind of publicity.He was dreading Friday morning, when the windows would have to be rearranged.This fear kept him awake at night, and he was so uncomfortable that he woke up at five o'clock in the morning.The girls in the store noticed that he was shy, and it didn't take many days to figure out that he was standing in the window with his back to the street.They all kept making fun of him, calling him "a pompous guy."

"I think you're afraid that if your aunt catches you, your name will be crossed out from her will." On the whole, he got on quite well with the girls.They all thought he was a little eccentric, but his limp seemed to be what made him special.As time went on, they gradually found that Philip was quite honest.He does anyone's favor, and never counts.He is even-tempered and polite. "He's a gentleman, as you can see," they remarked. "Still very quiet, aren't you?" said a young woman.She talked of the theater with such passion and spittle that Philip listened indifferently. Most of the girls have "boys" of their own, and those who have yet to find them say they would rather be thought nobody has a crush on them.One or two of the girls showed a willingness to flirt with Philip, and he watched with grave interest their various tricks of arousal.For a while he was bored with pillow sex, but he was almost always bored on the one hand, and often sensual on the other hand, desperate to get it done.