Chapter 94 Chapter 94

Philip had worked as a dresser for Mr. Jacobs, and he had the assistant surgeon operate on his lameness.Mr. Jacobs readily agreed, since he was just interested in neglected lameness and was currently gathering data for a thesis.He had warned Philip beforehand that he could not make the lame foot exactly like the good foot, but he believed he could do something.He also said that after the operation Philip still walked with a limp, but he could no longer wear his ugly boots.When thinking of the scene where he prayed devoutly to God in the past because he believed that God could carry heavy mountains for him, Philip always had a sad smile on his face.

"I don't expect miracles," replied Philip. "I think your decision to let me do what I can to cure your disability is wise. Then you will find it inconvenient to walk around with a limp leg. It's strange for a layman to die. And don't want to deal with doctors." Philip was admitted to a single room.There is such a single room with only one room on the landing outside each ward, which is specially prepared for special patients.He stayed there for a month because Mr. Jacobs wouldn't let him out of the ward until he was able to walk.The operation went well and he had enough time to recover.Lawson and Athelny came to see him.On one occasion, Mrs. Athelny brought her two children to visit him.And the classmates he knew also came to chat with him from time to time to relieve boredom.Mildred came twice a week.Everyone is very kind to him.Philip, who was always thrilled by the untiring attention shown to him, was now deeply moved and grateful.He had nothing to worry about and was in a lighthearted mood.He doesn't have to worry about the future, whether he has enough money to spend or whether he can pass the final exam, these are nothing to worry about.At this time, he can devote himself to writing books and papers.He had been unable to read well of late, because Mildred was always interfering with him: sometimes he was trying to concentrate his mind on some question, but Mildred would start talking, and Philip would not answer. She would not stop; and whenever he settled down to read, Mildred would ask him to help him with something, to come and tell him to uncork a bottle she could not undo, or to bring a bottle. Hammer asked him to help drive a nail.

They decided to go on holiday to Brighton in August.Philip thought of going there and went to the hotel, but Mildred said that, and she had to do the housework again.She suggested that they rent a boarding house so that she too could enjoy a few days off. "At home, I have to prepare meals every day. I'm so tired of it. I want to change it completely." Philip finally agreed to go to a boarding house.And Mildred happened to know a boarding house in Kemp Town.To live there would not cost more than twenty-five shillings a week per person.She agreed with Philip that she should write to make reservations.However, when he returned to Kennington House from the outside, Philip found that the letter had not been written at all, and he was not annoyed.

"I didn't expect you to be really busy," he said angrily. "Well, I can't think of everything. Even if I forget, it's not my fault, is it?" Philip was anxious to get to the sea, and he did not want to stay in London to communicate with the mistress of the boarding-house. "We can leave our luggage at the station and go straight up to see if there is any room there. If there is one, we'll just go out and hire a porter and let him fetch the luggage." "Do as you see fit!" Mildred replied stiffly. She didn't like to be offended, and for a moment she was silent, scowling, and sat restlessly, watching Philip busily packing for the holiday.Under the August sun, the small apartment was extremely hot, and there were waves of foul-smelling heat from the road outside.When he was lying on the sickbed in the ward, facing the wall painted with red paint, he had been yearning to breathe the fresh air by the sea and let the waves beat his chest.He felt he would go mad if he stayed another night in London.Mildred was in good spirits again at the sight of the holiday crowds thronging the streets of Brighton.They were both in high spirits as they rode out of the station in the carriage to Kemp Town.Philip also stroked the child's cheek with his hand.

"We'll be here for a few days and she'll make her little cheek rosy," said Philip, with a smile in his eyes. When they came to the door of the boarding house, they dismissed the carriage.A disheveled woman came out and opened the door.When Philip asked if there were any rooms available, she replied that she had to go in and ask.She led her mistress out.A middle-aged woman with a stocky figure and a businessman's face came downstairs, first gave Philip and the others a hard stare according to professional habits, and then asked what kind of room they wanted to open. "Make two single rooms, and if possible, put a cradle in one of them."

"I'm afraid I don't have two single rooms here. I have a large double room here, and I can give you a cradle." "I don't think that's quite right," said Philip. "By next week, I can give you another room. Brighton is crowded with tourists at the moment, so make up for it." "Just a few days, Philip, and I think we can make do with it," Mildred began. "I think two rooms would be more convenient. Can you tell us about another boarding house?" "Okay, but I don't think they'll have more spare rooms than I do."

"Would you mind if you gave us the address?" The boarding house pointed out to them by the stocky hostess was just down the street.So they turned and walked towards it.Philip walked fairly quickly, though he was weak and had to use a cane to walk.Mildred holds the baby.After they had walked in silence for a while, he suddenly noticed that Mildred was crying.The crying disturbed him.He ignored it, but she managed to draw his attention. "Give me your handkerchief, please? I can't take out a handkerchief with a baby in my arms," ​​she whimpered, turning her head away from Philip.

Philip silently handed over his handkerchief.Mildred wiped away her tears, and seeing that he was silent, went on: "There may be poison in me." "Please don't make any noise in the street," said Philip. "Your insistence on two single rooms is ridiculous. What will people think of us?" "If people knew the truth, I think they'd think we were both very virtuous," Philip said. Meanwhile Mildred gave Philip a leering look. "You're not going to tell people we're not husband and wife, are you?" Mildred asked immediately. "Will not."

"Then why can't you sleep with me like a husband?" "Honey, I can't explain this. I don't mean to embarrass you, but I just can't explain it. I know this idea is stupid and unreasonable, but this idea is very persistent and stronger than me. I Loved you so much that now..." He cut off his words abruptly. "Anyway, this kind of thing is unspeakable." "Why, you never loved me!" cried Mildred. The two of them walked all the way to the boarding house according to the address given.It turned out that the boarding house was run by a feisty spinster.She has a pair of sly eyes and speaks eloquently.They either took a double room for twenty-five shillings a week each, and five shillings for the child, or they took two single rooms and paid as much as a pound more per week.

"I have to charge such a high rent," explained the spinster apologetically, "because, if necessary, I can even have two beds in a single room." "I don't think that rent will bankrupt us. What do you say, Mildred?" "Hey, I don't care, everything is fine enough for me," she replied. Philip hated her sly answer, but laughed it off.The landlady had sent for their luggage at the station, so they sat down to rest and wait.Now Philip felt a dull ache in the wounded foot, and he put it on a chair and felt better. "I suppose you don't mind if I sit in the same room with you?" said Mildred aggressively.

"Let's not quarrel, Mildred," Philip remonstrated softly. "I don't know how much money you have on hand, and you can throw out a pound a week for rent." "Don't be mad at me. I want you to understand that this is the only way we can live together." "I suppose you despise me, of course you do." "Of course not. Why do I despise you?" "Everything is so awkward and unnatural." "Really? You don't love me, do you?" "Me? Who do you take me for?" "You don't seem like a sentimental woman either, you're not that kind of woman." "It's a disgraceful thing to say," said Mildred darkly. "Oh, I wouldn't make such a fuss if I were you." About a dozen people lived in the boarding house.They all came to a narrow, dimly lit room and sat around a long, narrow table to eat.The landlady sat at the head of the table and distributed the food.The food was poorly prepared, but the landlady called it French, and by that she meant inferior ingredients with poor condiments: plaice for sole, old New Zealand mutton for lamb Meat.The kitchen is small and inconvenient, so the food served is more or less cold.Among the tenants was the old lady who accompanied the old girl who had not yet left the court;Funny old bachelors pretending to be gentle; and pale middle-aged clerks and their wives, who together talked with gusto about their married daughters and sons in high positions in the colony.These people are unresponsive, yet posturing.At dinner they discussed Miss Corelli's latest novel, and some of them liked Lord Leighton rather than Mr. Alma Tadman, while others did not.Presently Mildred was talking to the ladies about her romantic marriage to Philip.She said that Philip found himself a target because he had married a girl while he was a "scholar" (Mildred used to say "student" when she was talking), and his family-- A country gentleman of considerable standing--disinherited his property; and Mildred's father--who owned a large tract of land in Devonshire--dismissed Mildred's affairs because she married Philip. Son.That's why they come to live in a boarding house without hiring a babysitter for the kids.However, they had to live in two separate rooms, for they were used to comfort and did not want to be crowded into a small room as a family.Likewise, several other tourists had various reasons for staying in the boarding house themselves.One of the single gentlemen was always on vacation in the big cities, but he liked the crowds, and he could never find a congenial company in the big hotels.The old lady with a middle-aged unmarried daughter was building a beautiful villa in London, but she said to her daughter: "Gwenny, my dear, this year we must change our taste and go to spend the holidays." It's a poor vacation." So they came here, although everything here was so out of tune with their habits.Mildred found them all too pompous, and she detested vulgar mediocrity.The gentleman she likes should be a real gentleman. "Once people are gentlemen and ladies," said Mildred, "I like them to be gentlemen and ladies." There was something mysterious about this to Philip.But when he heard her say this to different people again and again, he found that all the listeners agreed with him readily, and from this he concluded that he alone was a fool and had no sense at all.For the first time Philip and Mildred were alone together all day long.In London, he didn't see her all day during the day, and when he came home at night, they just chatted about the housework, the kids, and the neighbours, and then he sat down to do his homework.Right now, he is by her side all day long.After breakfast, the two of them walked to the beach, took a bath in the sea, and then walked along the beach for a while, and the morning time passed without any trouble.At dusk, after they had put the baby to bed, they spent their time on the pier, which was pleasant.Because there, from time to time, the sound of soft music came to the ear, and there was an endless stream of people in front of the service (Philip entertained himself by imagining various identities of these people and making up many little stories about them. Now, he I got into the habit of humming and perfunctory Mildred's words, while my thoughts continued to run free, unmoved), but the afternoons were long and tedious.The two of them are sitting on the beach.Mildred said they were going to enjoy what Dr. Brighton had bestowed on the people.He couldn't read at all because of her constant ramblings about everything in the world.If he ignored it, she would complain. "Oh, put away those stupid books of yours. You don't see what you're doing all the time, and you're just going to lose your head, and you're going to be dazed, Philip." "Talk some goddamn shit!" he retorted. "Besides, it's too short to treat people with a book in your hand all the time." Philip found it difficult to talk to her, too.She herself can't pay attention when she's talking, so every time a dog runs past or a man in a brightly colored blazer walks past her, she babbles a few times. sentence.However, it won't be long before she forgets what she just said.Her memory is very poor, she just can't remember people's names, but she is not willing to remember these names, so she often stops abruptly in her speech, racking her brains, searching her brains, and insisting on remembering them. Can not think of but had to give up.But afterwards, as she was talking, it occurred to her again, and then, even if Philip was talking about something else, she would interrupt him, and say: "Collins, that's the name. I knew then I'd remember it. Collins, that's the name I couldn't remember just now." This irritated Philip.But it turned out that whatever he said she did not listen; and if Philip was silent when she spoke she would complain of his being dead.For those abstract concepts, after listening to them for five minutes, her brain could not turn.Whenever Philip relished raising some concrete things to abstract theories, she would immediately show a look of boredom on her face.Mildred dreamed often, and remembered them so vividly, that she retold them to Philip every day. One morning he received a long letter from Thorpe Athelny.Aterhan is on vacation in dramatic fashion.It's insightful in this way, and it shows his personality as well.He has a long history of vacationing in this way, and has a history of ten years.He took the family to a hop field in Kent, not far from Mrs. Athelny's home, where they were to gather hops for three weeks.That way, they can spend all day in the wilderness and earn some extra money.What added to Madame Athelny's satisfaction was the strengthening of the family's bond with the native land where she had been born and raised.And Athelny also emphasized this point in his letter.Being out in the wilderness gave them new vigor, and it was like a magical ceremony that rejuvenated them, revived them, and refreshed them.Fikop had heard Athelny eloquently and vividly utter a queer discourse on this subject before.Now Athelny wrote to invite Philip to spend a day with them, saying that he was eager to tell Philip what he thought of Shakespeare and the Muscle, and that the children were clamoring to see Uncle Philip.In the afternoon, sitting on the beach with Mildred, he opened the letter and read it again.He thought of the kind mother of nine children, the hospitable Madame Athelny; She had a broad forehead, and her hair was braided in a long braid; and then she thought of a whole company of other children, all handsome, healthy, cheerful, and noisy.His heart flew to their side at once.There was a quality in them--benevolence--that he had never seen in anyone else before.Only now did Philip realize that his heart was evidently taken by their radiant quality.In theory, he doesn't believe in kindness, because if morality is just a matter of convenience, then good and evil have no meaning.He didn't like the lack of logic in his thinking, but the kindness was there, so natural and unaffected, and he thought it was beautiful.While he was brooding, he carelessly tore Athelny's letter to pieces.He couldn't think of a way to get rid of Mildred and go alone, but he didn't want to take Mildred with him. The sun was scorching hot and there was no cloud in the sky, so they had to hide in a shady corner.The boy sat solemnly on the sand playing with stones, and now and then he crept up to Philip's side, offered him a stone to hold, then took it out of his hand and laid it carefully on the sand.She was playing a mysterious, intricate game known only to her.At this moment, Mildred was fast asleep, her face up, her mouth slightly parted, her legs spread out in a figure-eight pattern, and her boots on her feet were strangely pressed against her petticoat.In the past, his eyes just fell on her blankly, but now he was staring at her intently, with a strange look in his eyes.The scene of him being passionately in love with her in the past was vivid in his memory, and he couldn't help wondering secretly why he was so indifferent to her now.This change of feeling filled him with anguish, and it seemed that all his past sufferings were worthless.In the past, the touch of her hand had caused a surge of ecstasy in him; he had longed to penetrate into her heart, so that he could think with her and share her every emotion.Nothing she said, while they were silent, showed that they were thinking in opposite directions.He had rebelled against the insurmountable barrier that separated man from man.For this, he was in pain.He once loved her madly, but now he has no love for her at all.He somehow felt that this was a tragedy.Sometimes he hated Mildred.She learns nothing, and she draws nothing from her life experiences.She was as wild as ever.Philip was disgusted to hear her speak roughly to the weary maid of the boarding-house. In a few moments Philip was thinking of his plans.After four years of study, he can take the examination of obstetrics and gynecology, and after another year, he can obtain the qualification to be a doctor.Then he managed to take a trip to Spain to see for himself what he could only see in photographs.For a moment, he felt deeply that the mysterious El Greco held his heart tightly, and he thought to himself that he would find El Greco in Toledo.He had no intention of squandering, and with that hundred pounds he could live in Spain for the first half of the year.If Macalister can bring him another good luck, he can easily achieve his goal.His heart warmed at the thought of the picturesque cities and the tawny plains of Castile.Convinced that he could enjoy more pleasures from this world than it gave, he thought his life in Spain might be more intense: perhaps it would be possible to practice medicine in an ancient city where many foreigners passed or settled Man, he could find a way to make a living there.But that's for later.First, he would get a job or two in a hospital, so that he could gain some experience and make it easier to find a job later.He hopes to be a ship's doctor on a tramp ocean-going freighter, with a living quarters on board.There is no deadline for loading and unloading cargo on this ship, so that there is enough time for sightseeing at the place where the ship stops.He wanted to travel to the East.Scenes of Bangkok, Shanghai and Japanese harbors flashed through his mind.He imagined the clumps of palm trees, the blue sky with the hot sun, the people with dark complexion and the pagodas. The unique oriental smell stimulated his nostrils.His heart was beating with a longing for the wonders of the world. Mildred woke up. "I think I must have fallen asleep," she said. "Oh, you poor girl, what have you done? Philip, she was clean yesterday, and here's what she looks like now!"