Chapter 90 Chapter Ninety

Philip left Athelny's and walked across Chancelly Lane and along the Embankment to the end of Parliament Avenue to catch a bus.One Sunday, after six weeks of acquaintance with the Athelnys, Philip hurried to catch the bus as usual, and found that the Kennington bus was full.Although it was still June, it rained heavily during the day, and the air at night became damp and cold.In order to get a seat, he walked to Piccadilly Circus.The bus stops near the fountain, and when it arrives there are seldom more than two or three passengers on board.The bus ran every quarter of an hour, so he had to wait a while before he could get in.He stared lazily at the crowd in the square.The bars are closed, but there are still many people walking around.Philip's mind was churning with various ideas which had been inspired by Athelny's magical genius.

Suddenly, Philip's heart skipped a beat - he saw Mildred.He hadn't thought of her for weeks.She was about to cross the road from the corner of Shaftesbury Boulevard when she saw a procession of carriages approaching and stood in the shelter and waited.Too preoccupied with other things to look for opportunities to cross the road, Mildred wore a large black straw hat with a tuft of feathers, and a black silk dress.At that time, it was fashionable for women to wear drag skirts.Seeing that the road was clear, Mildred immediately crossed the road and walked towards Piccadilly, dragging her dress on the ground behind her.Philip followed her silently, with a beating heart.He did not wish to speak to Mildred, but wondered where was she going at this late hour?He wanted to see her face.Mildred staggered on, then turned into Eyre Street, crossed Regent Street, and walked at last in the direction of Piccadilly Circus.Philip was bewildered and could not guess what medicine she was selling in her gourd.Maybe she was waiting for someone.Suddenly Philip felt a great curiosity to know whom she was expecting.Mildred hurried after a short man in a bowler hat ahead who was walking nonchalantly, and Mildred passed him, squinting.She walked forward, and finally stopped abruptly in front of the Swann Edgar store building, and waited facing the road.Mildred smiled as the short man approached.The man stared at her for a while, then turned his head away and continued to walk forward.At this moment, Philip understood everything.

Philip's heart was gripped tightly by a sense of dread.For a while, he just felt that his legs were weak and weak, and he couldn't even stand up.After a while he hurried after Mildred and touched her arm. "Mildred!" She turned around suddenly, terrified.He thought Mildred blushed, but he couldn't see clearly in the shadows.For a long while, the two of them stood relatively silent.At last it was Mildred who broke the silence. "Didn't expect to see you here!" For a moment Philip did not know what to say, and was trembling all over.He was full of thoughts, his heart was ups and downs, and he couldn't help himself.

"It's terrible," he said breathlessly, in a low voice, as if speaking to himself. Mildred said nothing more, turned her back to Philip, and looked down at the ground.Philip felt his face contort with pain. "Is there anything to talk about?" "I don't want to tell you anything," said Mildred grimly. "Leave me alone, okay?" It suddenly occurred to Philip that she might be in desperate need of money at the moment, and she might not be able to get away for a while. "You have no money, and I have two or three coins with me," blurted Philip.

"I don't understand you. I just happened to pass by here on my way home. I wanted to wait for a girlfriend who was working with me." "My God, don't you lie," sighed Philip. Suddenly, noticing Mildred sobbing, he asked again: "Can we talk somewhere? Can I come over to your place?" "Not at all, not at all," she whimpered. "They won't let me take the man there. I'll find you tomorrow if you want." Philip knew that Mildred would never keep her promise.This time he will not let her go easily. "It can't be until tomorrow, I want you to take me somewhere to talk now."

"Well, well, there's one somewhere, but it costs six shillings." "I'll just pay six shillings. Where is it?" Mildred gave Philip the address, and Philip ordered a cab.The carriage drove past the British Museum and came into a mean street off Gray's Inn Road.Mildred told the coachman to park the carriage at the corner of the street. "They don't like driving the carriage all the way to the door," murmured Mildred. This was the first sentence they had spoken since they got into the carriage.They got out of the carriage and walked forward a few yards, and then Mildred hit a gate three times in a row.Philip noticed a cardboard notice on the fan window saying ROOM TO LET.The door opened silently, and an elderly tall woman stepped out from inside.She glared at Philip, then whispered something to Mildred in a low voice.Mildred led Philip down the hall to a room at the back of the house.It's dark inside.Mildred asked Philip for a match, and lit a gas lamp, which hissed harshly for there was no shade.Philip now saw that he was standing in a small, dirty bedroom with a set of furniture, painted the color of pine, which seemed too large for the room.The lace curtains were dirty, and a large paper fan was over the grille.Mildred sank into an easy chair by the fire, and Philip sat on the edge of the bed.He was ashamed.Only then did he see that Mildred's cheeks were smeared with thick rouge, and her eyebrows were drawn black, but she looked haggard and sickly, and the red rouge on her cheeks made her white and green. The complexion is striking.Mildred stared at the paper fan restlessly, and Philip couldn't think of anything to say. He felt that his words were stuck in his throat, as if he was about to cry, and he quickly covered his eyes with his hands.

"My God, it's a dreadful thing," sighed Philip mournfully. "I don't know what you're fussing about. I thought you must be very happy." Philip made no answer, and a moment later she broke into a sob. "You don't think I'm doing this because I like it, do you?" "Oh, my dear," cried Philip, "I am very, very sorry." "It doesn't do my fart any good!" Again Philip felt at a loss for words, afraid that if he did speak she would misunderstand him as blaming or laughing at her. "And the child?" asked Philip at last.

"I brought her to London. I had no money to keep her in Brighton, so I had to bring her myself. I took a room on the way to Highbury and told them I was An actor. Got to walk from there to the West End every day. One of the few jobs in London that ladies do." "Would the previous shopkeepers not want you to go back?" "Can't find a job anywhere. I broke both legs trying to find a job. I did get a job once, but I was away for a week because of illness, and when I went back to work, they didn't want me .You can't blame them, can you? It's their place, and they can't afford girls who aren't fit."

"You look very ill now," said Philip. "I'm not supposed to go out tonight, but what can I do, I need money. I wrote to the Emil once and told him I don't have a penny with me, but he didn't even answer me ." "You may well write to me." "I don't want to write to you, not because of what happened before, but because I don't want you to know that I'm in trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if you said I deserved it." "Even today, you still don't know me very well, don't you?" For a moment Philip was weary of remembering the agony he had suffered precisely because of Mildred.But the past is the past after all, and it has become a passing cloud.When he looked at Mildred in front of him, he knew he didn't love her any more.He felt sorry for her, but thankful that he was free of all entanglements with her.Philip gazed at Mildred sadly, and wondered to himself why he had been so infatuated with her in the first place.

"You're a real gentleman," began Mildred, "you're the only gentleman I've ever seen." She paused a moment, and then said, blushing, "Philip, I really don't want to talk." , but can you give me some money?" "I happened to have some money with me. I'm afraid it didn't amount to more than two pounds." Philip then gave her all the money. "I'll pay you back later, Philip." "Well, it's all right," said Philip, smiling, "you needn't worry about it." Philip did not say what he wanted to say, and they chatted back and forth as if it were the way it should be, as if she were going to live her horrible life again and he couldn't. It was as if something had come to stop her.Mildred got up from the easy chair to take the money, while they were both standing.

"May I show you a little way?" asked Mildred. "I think you're going home." "No, I'm in no hurry," Philip answered. "It's nice to have the opportunity to sit down and rest." That word, and all that it meant, tore Philip's heart.It pained Philip to see her slump wearily into the easy chair.For a long time, there was silence in the room. In embarrassment, Philip lit a cigarette. "Philip, you're too kind to say a single unflattering word. I thought you'd say I'm shameless." Philip wept again when he saw Mildred.The scene of her running to him and weeping bitterly when Emil Miller abandoned her was reappearing in front of his eyes at this moment.The pity he felt for her seemed to grow stronger when he thought of her ill fate, and his own humiliation. "If only I could get out of this!" moaned Mildred. "I hate it. I'm not fit for this kind of life. I'm not a girl for it. I'd do anything to get out of the fire. I'd be a servant. Oh, I wish I die now." After all this self-pity, she broke down completely.She whimpered hysterically, her thin body trembling uncontrollably. "Oh, you don't know what it's like to live like this, and you never know its misery until you experience it yourself." Philip could not bear to see her cry, it broke his heart to see her in such a terrible state. "Poor boy," he murmured, "poor boy." He was deeply shocked.Suddenly a thought flashed through his mind, and it stirred up a rapture in him, almost to the point of ecstasy. "Listen, if you want to get out of this, I've got an idea. I'm in a very tough situation right now, and I've got to save as much as I can. However, I've taken a flat in Kennington High Street, and the There's one room empty. You can take the children up to me if you like. I've hired a woman for three shillings and sixpence a week to clean and cook for me. , you can do it too, and your meals will not cost much more than what I paid that woman. Besides, two people will not spend more on meals than one. As for your child, I want her to eat Not much." Mildred stopped sobbing suddenly and looked at Philip intently. "You mean, in spite of all that has happened, can you let me go back to you?" A look of embarrassment came to Philip's face as he thought of what he was about to say. "I don't want you to misunderstand me. I'm just offering you a room and food for which I don't want to pay an extra penny. I only expect you to do what the woman I hired did, except I can't ask for anything more than that. I'm sure you'll be able to make a good meal, too." Mildred jumped up from the easy chair and was about to come up to him. "You've been very kind to me, Philip." "Don't come, just stand there, please," said Philip hastily, holding out his hand hastily, as if to push her away. He didn't know why he did it, but he couldn't bear Mildred to touch him. "I just want to be your friend, I don't have any other ideas." "How kind you are to me," Mildred murmured, "how kind you are to me!" "So you're coming to my place?" "Oh, yes, I'd do anything to get out of this. You'll never regret what you've done, Philip, never. When can I come to you, Philip?" "Better come tomorrow." Mildred burst into tears again. "Why are you crying?" Philip asked with a smile. "I can't thank you enough. I don't know if I can ever repay you in my life?" "Oh, don't take it to heart. You'd better go back and rest now." Philip wrote her the address, and told her that if she came at five-thirty next morning he would make all right.It was very late at night, and there was no car to take, so we had to walk back.However, it was a long journey, but now he didn't feel it was long. He was completely intoxicated by the excitement, and he only felt the wind blowing from the soles of his feet, which made him feel like he was in heaven.