Chapter 70 Chapter Seventy

Philip eagerly expected a letter from Norah when he got back to the lodgings, but there was none.The next morning, there was still no word from her parents.The absence of any news from Norata made him restless and shocked at the same time.He and Nora had seen each other every day since he had come to London last year.However, he didn't go to see her for two consecutive days, and he didn't explain why he didn't want to go. Nora must be offended.Philip wondered if she had seen him with Mildred by some unfortunate chance.He could not bear the thought of Nora being sad or unhappy, and he decided to go to her that afternoon.He was rather blaming Nora for allowing himself to maintain such a deep and intimate relationship with her.Thinking of continuing to maintain this relationship, he felt very pickled (Yue Zan).

Philip rented two rooms for Mildred on the second floor of a house in Vauxhall Bridge Road.There was a lot of noise outside the room, but he knew she liked the noise of traffic outside the window. "I don't like a half-shaded, lifeless street, where I don't see a soul all day long," said Mildred; "let me get a little breath of life." " Then Philip forced himself to the Place Vincent.When he raised his hand to ring the bell, his heart was filled with sadness.He had an uneasy feeling that he had done Nora wrong.He dared not blame Nora.He knew she was irritable, and he didn't want to see the scene of the quarrel.Perhaps it would be best to tell her straight up that Mildred was now with him again, and that he still loved her passionately and passionately.He was deeply guilty of that, but he had nothing more to offer Nora.He expected Nora's agonizing pain, for he knew she loved him.He was overwhelmed by the affection she had felt for him in the past, and he was grateful for it.But right now it's all just too scary.She shouldn't have to endure the pain he inflicted on her.He secretly asked himself, how would she receive him now?As he walked up the stairs, all possible ways of her behavior passed through his mind.He knocked on the door.He felt his face turn pale, and he didn't know how to hide his uneasiness.

Nora was busy writing, but she jumped up when Philip came into the room. "I recognize your footsteps," she cried. "Where have you been hiding lately? You rascal!" She walked towards him beaming, and put her arms around his neck.Glad to see Nora, Philip kissed her, and then made a gesture of saying how badly he wanted his tea.Nora hastily lit a fire and boiled the water in the pot. "I've been pretty busy lately," he said awkwardly. Then Nora babbled brightly, telling him she had been commissioned to write a novella for a company that had never hired her before.For this she would get fifteen guineas.

"This money is falling from the sky. I'll tell you what we're going to do. We'll walk out on it ourselves and go to Oxford for a day, shall we? I just like to see some of the college." Philip stared at her to see if there was any shadow of complaint in her eyes.But her eyes were, as usual, frank and cheerful: she was delighted to see him.His heart was heavy.But he couldn't disclose that cruel fact to her.Nora baked him some bread, cutting it into small pieces like a child, and handing it to him. "Xiaozuo, are you full?" she asked. He nodded, unconsciously smiling.She lit a cigarette for him.Then, as usual, she came and sat on Philip's lap.She is very light.She leaned back and snuggled into his arms, with a sweet and happy look on her face.

"Say something sweet to me," she murmured. "Say what?" "You can imagine that you like me very much." "I've always liked you, you know that." At this moment, he really couldn't bear to open his mouth, and told Nora about that matter, no matter what, he wanted to let her spend this day in peace.Perhaps, he could tell her by writing a letter.It's much easier to say in a letter.Thinking of her crying bitterly, he couldn't bear it.Nora teased him to kiss him, but as they kissed he thought of Mildred, and of Mildred's pale, thin lips.The memory of Mildred, like a disembodied figure--a figure far richer and more substantial than a figure--had haunted him every moment, and now and then made him dreamy and dreamy.

"You were too silent today," said Nora. Between the two of them, her gossip was mostly old-fashioned jokes.He replied: "You never let me have a say, so I'm out of the habit of talking." "But you're not listening to me either, that's not a good attitude." His face flushed slightly, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was aware of the secrets in his heart.He looked away nervously.The weight of Nora's body was annoying this afternoon, and he didn't want her to touch him. "My feet are numb," he said. "I'm so sorry," she cried, jumping from his lap, "if I can't get rid of this habit of sitting on gentlemen's laps, I'll have to go on a diet!"

Philip stomped on the floor seriously, and circled the room.Then he stood in front of the fireplace so that she could no longer sit on his lap.He thought Nora was ten times stronger than Mildred while she was talking, Nora gave him more pleasure, he was happier talking with Nora, she was more powerful than Mildred. De is far more intelligent, and more tender-natured.She is a virtuous, honest, courageous and knowledgeable little woman.And what about Mildred?He felt painfully that none of these descriptions were worthy of her.If he had reason, he should stick to Nora, and she would make him feel happier than he was with Mildred.Do: Anyway, Nora is devoted to him, but Mildred is just grateful for his help.But then again, it was more important to love than to be loved, and he thought of Mildred with all his heart.He would rather spend ten minutes with Mildred than a whole afternoon with Nora, and he valued a kiss on Mildred's icy lips more than a kiss all over Nora's body. valuable.

"I can't help it," he thought to himself, "Mildred is etched on my soul." Even though she is heartless, corrupt and vulgar, even though she is stupid, ignorant and greedy, he doesn't care and still loves her.He would rather live a life of misery and misery with this one than share the joy of harmony and song with that one. When he got up to go, Nora said casually: "Well, I'll wait for you tomorrow, okay?" "Okay," he replied. He knew that he could not come here the next day as he was going to help Mildred move.However, he didn't have the courage to speak out.He decided to send her a telegram.Mildred went to see the two rooms in the morning and was quite pleased.After lunch Philip went with her to Highbury.She had one trunk for clothes and another for odds and ends, cushions, lampshades, picture frames, etc., which she would use to make the rental apartment look like a family.In addition, she had two or three large cardboard boxes.However, these objects were all stacked on top of the cab without touching the roof.Philip huddled in the back of the carriage as they passed Victoria Street, in case Norah, who happened to pass by, should catch him.He had not been given the opportunity to make a telegram, and the telegram could not be typed at the post office on Vauxhall Bridge Road, which would have made Nora suspicious of his movements on that road.Besides, if he was there, he would have no excuse for not being in the square where her apartment was so close.He decided it would be best to spend half an hour and run to see her.However, what he had to do under the circumstances disturbed him.He was very angry with Nora, because she had made him so vulgar and despondent.But his soul was ecstatic to be with Mildred.He was filled with indescribable joy as he unpacked her; he had a subtle possessiveness for himself in having placed Mildred in the lodgings he had found and paid for.He couldn't bear to let her be exhausted.It was a pleasure to do things for her, and she herself would not do what others were eager to do for her.He opened the box for her, took out the clothes and put them aside.Seeing that she no longer suggested going out, he brought her slippers and took off her boots.He felt genuinely happy about his slave labor.

As he knelt down to unbutton her boots, Mildred said, fondling his hair, "You're too spoiled." He suddenly grabbed her hands and kissed them. "It's a pleasure to have you here." He straightened the cushions and framed the pictures.She also has several green clay vases. "I'll get you some flowers to put in a vase," he said. He looked around proudly at what he was doing. "I'm not going out, I think I'll wear a loose gown," she said. "Undo the buttons from the back for me, will you?" She turned away without hesitation, as if he, too, were a woman.As a man, he was unattractive to her.However, the intimacy expressed in her words filled him with gratitude.He undid the buttons awkwardly with his fingers.

"The day I first walked into the shop, I never expected to come and do something for you today," said Philip with a forced smile. "Someone has to do it," replied Mildred. She went into the bedroom and put on a sky-blue loose gown trimmed with cheap lace.Then Philip carried her into a sofa and made her tea. "I'm afraid I can't have tea with you here," he said regretfully. "I've got a very nasty appointment. I'll be back in half an hour, though." If she asked what kind of date it was, he really didn't know how to answer it!However, she did not reveal the slightest curiosity.When he was renting the room, he pre-booked meals for two people, and proposed to spend the evening with her peacefully.He was anxious to get back, so he took a tram up Vauxhall Bridge Road.He thought he might as well explain to Nora that he could only stay for a few minutes.

"Hey, I only have time to say hello to you," he began babbling as soon as he stepped into Nora's room. "I'm busy as hell." Nora's face sank after hearing this. "Ouch, what's the matter?" He was very annoyed that Nora had actually forced him to lie.He replied that there was a demonstration in the hospital and that he had to attend.As he spoke, he blushed consciously.He thought the look of disbelief on her face annoyed him even more. "Oh, well, that's all right," said Nora, "you'll have to stay with me all day tomorrow." Philip looked at her expressionlessly.The next day was Sunday, the day he had always wanted to be with Mildred.He said to himself, just out of basic courtesy, he should do the same, and he couldn't leave her alone in a strange room! "I'm so sorry, I have a date tomorrow." He knew it was the start of a quarrel he was trying to avoid.Nora blushed even more. "However, I have invited Mr. and Mrs. Gordon to lunch"--actor Gordon and his wife are traveling in the provinces, and Sunday will be in London--"I told you about this a week ago." "I'm so sorry, I forgot," he muttered. "I'm afraid nine times out of ten I won't be able to come. Can't you get someone else?" "Then what are you doing tomorrow?" "I hope you don't question me." "Don't you really want to tell me?" "I'm not unwilling to tell you, but it's too annoying to force a person to tell his whereabouts!" In the blink of an eye, Nora changed her face.Trying not to lose her temper, she went up to Philip and took his hand. "Don't disappoint me tomorrow, Philip. I've been looking forward to spending a Sunday with you. The Gordons want to see you, and we'll have a good time." "If I could come, I would very much like to come." "I'm not too harsh, am I? I don't give you a lot of trouble. Can't you not go on that nasty date? Just this once?" "I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can do it," replied Philip coldly. "Tell me what kind of a date this is," she said coaxingly. Philip took the time to invent a reason. "Griffith's two younger sisters are coming for the weekend and the two of us are going to take them out." "Is that all?" she said cheerfully. "Griffiths could have found another easily!" He wished he could think of something more urgent than the above.That excuse was poor. "No, I'm so sorry, I can't—I've promised, and I've got to keep my word." "But you also promised me. I am quite sure that I suggested it first." "I hope you don't insist," said Philip. Nora was furious. "You didn't want to come, that's why you didn't come. I don't know what you were doing a few days ago, you have completely changed." Philip looked at his watch. "I'm afraid I must go," he said. "Aren't you coming tomorrow?" "Not coming." "So don't bother to come any more," she exclaimed, now in a rage. "As you please," he retorted. "Don't let me hold you back," she added sarcastically. Philip shrugged his shoulders and went outside.He felt relieved that things were finally all right.There has not been a scene of torrential tears.Along the way, he congratulated himself on getting out of the affair so easily.He went into Victoria Street and bought some flowers for Mildred. This small potluck was a great success.Philip had sent earlier a small jar of caviar, which he knew Mildred liked.The landlady brought them some schnitzels, vegetables and a dessert.Philip also ordered her favorite red wine.The curtains were parted, the fire blazed, the bulbs were covered with Mildred's shades, and the room was filled with a sense of comfort and coziness. "It's really like a home here," said Philip, beaming. "Maybe I'll be more unfortunate, won't I?" she replied. When dinner was over Philip drew up the two easy-chairs in front of the fire.They sat and rested on it.He smoked his pipe in a leisurely way, feeling refreshed. "What are you going to do tomorrow?" he asked Mildred. "Oh, I'm going to Tours Hill. Do you remember the woman manager at that shop? Why, she's married now, and she invited me to spend Sundays with her. Of course, she thinks I'm get married." Philip was dejected after hearing this. "But I declined an invitation to spend Sunday with you." If Mildred loved him, he thought, she would say that she should stay with him. Philip knew that Nora would not hesitate in such a situation. "Well, you fool did such a thing. I promised her three weeks ago." "But how are you going by yourself?" "Oh, I'd say Emile's out on errands. Her husband is in the handkerchief business, and he's a very haughty fellow." Philip was silent, and a sad feeling came over him.Mildred stared at him. "You won't give me the pleasure of it, Philip? You know it's the last chance I'll be able to go out and about, and I don't know how long it's going to be. Besides. This is what I have already said." He took her hand and said to her with a smile: "No honey, I want you to have a good time. I just want you to have fun." A little book bound in blue paper was lying open on the sofa, and Philip picked it up lazily.It was a twopenny novella by Cotner Pagott.This is the pseudonym Nora uses when she writes her book. "I like to read his books very much," said Mildred, "I read all his books. They are beautiful." He still remembered what Nora had said about herself. "I have a good reputation among the kitchen girls. They think I'm quite a gentleman."