Chapter 68 Chapter 68

One morning Philip got up feeling dizzy, and when he lay down again he found himself ill, with pain in his limbs and a shiver all over him.When the landlady came to bring him breakfast, he told the landlady through the open door that he was not well, and asked him to bring a cup of tea and a piece of toast.A few minutes later, after a knock on the door, Griffiths walked in.They had lived in the same apartment for more than a year, but hadn't seen much more than a nod of hello in the hallway. "Well, I hear you're not well," said Griffiths, "I thought I'd have to see what's going on with you?"

Philip blushed inexplicably, and was so indifferent to his illness that he said he would be well in an hour or two. "Well, you'd better let me take your temperature," Griffiths said. "It's not necessary at all," Philip answered irritably. "Hey, let's measure it!" Philip put the thermometer in his mouth.Griffiths sat on the edge of the bed and chatted beamingly. After a while, he took the thermometer out of Philip's mouth and glanced at it. "Well, look at the thermometer, man, you've got to stay in bed and I'll get old Dickon to see you."

"It's all nonsense," said Philip, "it doesn't matter at all, and I hope you don't worry about me." "Not much to worry about. You have a fever and should stay in bed. You lie down, will you?" There was a peculiar charm about his manner, so dignified and affable that it was simply charming. "Your clinical demeanor is simply wonderful," murmured Philip, closing his eyes with a smile. Griffiths fluffed the pillow for him, smoothed the sheets with quick movements, and tucked the quilt tightly for him.He went into Philip's sitting-room looking for a siphon-bottle, and when he couldn't find it, he took one from his own room.Then he drew down the shutter.

"Well, sleep well, I'll bring old Dickon here as soon as he's done his rounds." It was several hours before anyone came to see Philip.He felt as if his head was going to explode, and the excruciating pain was tearing his limbs, and he was worried that he would cry out soon.Presently, after a knock at the door, Griffiths entered, healthy, strong, and cheerful. "Dr. Deacon is here," he announced. The amiable old doctor took a few steps forward.Philip was just familiar with him, not acquaintance.He asked a few questions, performed a brief examination, and wrote a prescription.

"What disease do you think he has?" Griffiths asked with a smile. "influenza." "Not bad." Dr. Deacon glanced round the dimly lit apartment. "Don't you want to go to the hospital? They'll put you in an isolation ward, where you'll get more care than here." "I'd rather stay where I am," Philip said. He didn't want to be disturbed, and in unfamiliar surroundings he was always suspicious.He hated the nurses swaggering around him and the dreary cleanliness of the hospital. "Sir, I can attend to him," said Griffiths at once.

"Oh, that would be great!" He wrote a prescription, took care of a few more words, and left. "Now, you have to listen to me," Griffiths said. "I'm the day and night nurse all by myself." "Thank you, but I won't need anything," said Philip. Griffiths held out one and rested it on Philip's forehead.It was a large, cold, dry hand, but Philip's touch brought pleasure to it. "I'll just take the prescription to the pharmacy and they'll fill it up and I'll be back." Presently he fetched the medicine, and having given Philip a dose, he thumped upstairs for his book.

"You won't object to me reading in your room this afternoon?" he said to Philip when he went downstairs. "I leave the door open, if you need anything, just call me." Later in the day Philip awoke from a restless doze to hear voices in his sitting-room that Griffiths' friends had come to see him. "Hey, you better not come tonight," he heard Griffiths say. A minute or two later, another person entered the room, expressing surprise that he had found Griffiths there. "I'm nursing a sophomore who's renting this room, and the poor guy's down with the flu. Can't play whist tonight, man."

Presently Griffiths was alone in the room, and Philip called to him. "Hey, why are you putting off going to the party tonight?" he asked. "It's not for you, I have to read my surgical textbook." "Go ahead. I'll be fine in a while. You don't have to worry about me." "OK." Philip's condition gradually deteriorated.When night fell, he was a little unconscious.It was only at the twilight of the next morning that he woke up from his restless sleep.He found Griffiths rising from his armchair, on his knees, throwing lumps of coal into the fireplace with his fingers.Griffiths was wearing baggy pajama pants and a dressing gown.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Did I wake you up? I was building a fire, trying to make as little noise as possible." "Why aren't you in bed? What time is it?" "Around five o'clock. I thought I'd better be with you all night tonight. I brought the armchair in because I was afraid that as soon as the mattress was put on I'd be too sleepy to hear what you wanted. gone." "I hope you don't do this soon," moaned Philip. "What if I catch you?" "Then you nurse me, man," Griffiths said with a smile.

In the morning, Griffiths opened the shutters.After staying all night, he looked pale and tired, but still very happy. "Come here, let me scrub you," he said cheerfully to Philip. "I can wash myself," said Philip, without embarrassment. "Nonsense, if you are lying in the small ward, the nurse will come and wash you, and I can do as well as the nurse." Philip was too weak physically and mentally distressed to be able to please him, so he let him wash his face, hands, and feet, and let him rub his chest and back.His movements are gentle and pleasant, and at the same time, he spits out a series of friendly and friendly words.Then, as they do in the hospital, he changed the sheets, fluffed out the pillows and made the bedding.

"I think Aunt Arthur was very surprised to see me. Dickon will be coming to see you very early." "I can't understand why you treat me so well," said Philip. "This was a great internship for me. Caring for a patient is so much fun." Griffiths gave Philip his own breakfast, then dressed and went out to eat something.A few minutes before ten he returned with a bunch of grapes and a bouquet of flowers. "You are simply too kind," said Philip. Philip was bedridden for five days. Nora and Griffiths took turns tending him.Although Griffiths was about Philip's age, he treated Philip like a mother with a great sense of humor.He is a thoughtful young man, gentle and gentle, and gives people strength, but his biggest feature is that he has a kind of vitality, which seems to bring health to everyone he gets along with.Philip was not used to the caresses of their mothers or sisters that many people enjoy in life, but he was deeply moved by the feminine tenderness of this strong young man.Philip's condition improved day by day.So Griffiths sat idly in Philip's room, amusing him with cheerful anecdotes.He's a flirt and can hang out with three or four women at a time.His descriptions of the various means by which he had been helpless to get out of his predicament were very eloquent indeed.He had such a genius for imbuing everything that happened to him with a romantic charm.Even when he was crippled by debts and what little value he had was pawned, he tried to be gay, profligate, and generous.He was born to be an adventurer.He just liked the shady and capricious people who haunted London pubs and knew a good deal of the hoodlums.The dissolute women regard him as a friend, and tell him their troubles, hardships and successes in life; but those gamblers can understand his miserable days, provide him with food and drink, and lend him five-pound notes .He endured the trials and tribulations with joy.He obeyed his parents' advice with such grace and charm that his father, who was a medical practitioner in Leeds, could not bear to speak harshly of him. "I'm a complete dumbass when it comes to reading," he said cheerfully. "I just can't get my head around." Life is too much fun.But one thing is clear: once his emotional adolescence is past and he is finally qualified as a doctor, he will be able to achieve something in the medical profession.Even the charm of his manner can heal people's ailments. Philip adored him as he adored the tall, upright, and virtuous pupils at school.When Philip recovered from his illness he and Griffiths became close friends.It filled Philip with an indescribable satisfaction that Griffiths seemed to enjoy sitting in his room, talking of amusing anecdotes, and killing his time with innumerable cigarettes.Sometimes Philip took him to the tavern in Regent Street.Hayward found Griffiths stupid, but Lawson recognized his charms and was eager to paint him.He had a vivid figure, blue eyes, fair skin, and curly hair.He often knew nothing about the issues they discussed, but he sat quietly by the side, with a gentle and honest smile on his handsome face, feeling appropriately that his presence alone was enough to add joy to his companions.When he found out that Macalister was a stockbroker, he was eager for some tips.Macalister, however, told him with a serious smile that he could make a fortune if he bought some stocks sometimes.This made Philip's mouth water, too, for he too was somewhat poor, and it was only fitting that he should make a little money by the easy means of making money which Macalister mentioned. . "Next time I'll let you know the good news," said the stockbroker. "Sometimes good news does come, it's a matter of timing." Philip could not help thinking how wonderful it would be to earn fifty pounds!That way he could buy Nora a fur coat for her to keep out in the winter.He looked at the few shops on Regent Street and picked out a few things he could afford.Nora deserved it all, for she filled his life with joy. One afternoon Philip returned from the hospital to the flat, ready, as usual, to freshen up before sharing tea with Nora.When he was about to take out the key to open the door, the landlady opened the door hastily. "There is a lady waiting to see you," said the landlady. "Looking for me?" said Philip in surprise. Philip couldn't help but startled.It could only have been Nora, but he did not know what wind had brought her here. "I shouldn't have let her in, but she came three times in a row and didn't see you. She looked very sad, so I told her she could wait here for you." Philip hurried past the chattering landlady and rushed into the room.He felt sick: it was Mildred.She was about to sit down, but when she saw him coming in, she hurriedly stood up.She neither approached him nor spoke.He was stunned and didn't even know what he was talking about. "What on earth do you want?" he asked. Mildred made no answer, but burst into tears.She did not cover her eyes with her hands, but hung them at her sides, like a servant girl begging for hire, with an obnoxious humility in her gesture.Philip could not tell what he was feeling, and he wanted to turn around and run out of the room. "I never thought I'd see you again," he finally said. "If only I were dead," she whimpered. Philip told her to stand where she was.At this moment, he just wanted to calm himself down.His knees were shaking.He looked at Mildred with both eyes, and groaned dejectedly. "What's the matter?" he said. "Emile - he deserted me." Philip's heart was pounding.At this moment he realized that he was still passionately in love with her as before, and his love for her had never ceased.She stood in front of him, so submissive, so submissive.He wished he could hug her into his arms and kiss her teary face.Ah, how long was this parting!He didn't know how he survived it. "You'd better sit down. I'll get you a drink." He moved the chair closer to the fireplace, and Mildred sat down.He paired her with a whiskey and soda.As she sobbed and sipped, she gazed at him with large, sad eyes.She was much more haggard and paler than Philip had seen her last. "I would have married you when you proposed to me," said Mildred mournfully. The words seemed to stir up waves of emotion within him.Why exactly?Philip could not tell why.He can no longer force himself to be indifferent to her as he did just now.He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry for the predicament you're in." Mildred threw her head into Philip's arms and cried hysterically.The hat on her head was in the way, so she took it off.He had never expected her to cry so mournfully.He kept kissing her, which seemed to calm her down. "You've always been good to me, Philip," she said, "and that's why I know I can come to you." "Tell me what's wrong." "Oh, I can't talk, I can't talk," she cried, breaking away from his arms. He knelt down beside her, pressing his cheek against hers. "Don't you know there's nothing you can't tell me? I'll never blame you." She told him little by little, sometimes choking so hard that he could barely understand what she was saying. "Last Monday, he went to Birmingham and promised to return on Wednesday, but he didn't come back, and he was nowhere to be seen on Friday. So I wrote to him to ask what was the matter, but he didn't even reply. I wrote another letter, and said that if there was no answer, I was going to Birmingham. However, this morning I got a letter from a lawyer, saying that I had no claim against him, and saying, If I interfere with him, he will seek legal protection." "What absurdity!" cried Philip. "A man should never do that to his wife. Have you two had a fight?" "Oh, yes, we had a fight that Sunday. He said he hated me, but he'd said it before and came back. I didn't think he'd take it seriously. He was taken aback because I told him I was going to have a baby. I kept it from him as best I could. Finally I had to tell him. He said it was my fault and that I should know better than he did. Listen to what he told me What! But I soon found that he was not a gentleman. He left me without a penny. He didn't even pay the rent, and I had no money to pay, the housekeeper A woman once said something like this in front of me—well, I'm still a thief according to her! "He said one thing and did another. We just rented a flat in Highbury. He's just so mean. He says I'm a spendthrift, but he never gave me a dime ah." She has a peculiar knack for jumbled things together, big and small.Philip was bewildered, and the whole thing seemed strange. "No man is a villain like him." "You don't know him, and I don't want to go back to him now, even if he came and knelt before me. I was so stupid, how could I think of him? And he is not what he said Making money as he says. What he told me was a lie!" Philip thought for a minute or two.Her sorrow deeply shocked his heart, and he couldn't just think about himself. "Do you want me to go up to Birmingham? I can go see him and try to get you two back together." "No way at all. He's never going to change his mind now, and I know him." "But he has to pay for your living expenses, and there's no excuse for that. I don't know anything about anything like that. You'd better go to a lawyer." "How can I? I don't have a dime on me." "I will pay for this. I will write to my own lawyer, the campaigner who acted as executor of my father's will. Will you come with me to him now? I presume he is still in In the office." "No, give me the letter to him, and I'll go myself." At this point, she became a little calmer.He sat down and wrote a letter.He suddenly remembered that she was penniless.As luck would have it, he had cashed a check just the day before yesterday, and it was still possible to give her five pounds. "You are very kind to me, Philip," said Mildred. "It's a pleasure to be able to do something for you." "Do you still like me now? "I like you as much as before." She pursed her lips, and he kissed her.In this gesture of hers he saw an emotional surrender which he had never seen in her.For this alone, all the pain he suffered in his heart was rewarded. She was gone, and he found her there for two hours.He was overjoyed. "Poor man, poor man," he said to himself in front of Nandi, with a burning passion rising inside him that he had never felt before. About eight o'clock Philip received a telegram.Before that, he hadn't thought of Nora at all.After opening the telegram, I realized that it was from Nora. What's the matter?Nora. Philip was at a loss and didn't know how to reply.Nora is playing a supporting role in a play.He could run to meet her as soon as the play was over, as he sometimes did, and walk home with her side by side.But this evening his whole being was against his going to see Nora.He considered writing to her, but he could not bring himself to address her as "dearest Nora" as he always did.He decided to send a telegram. Feel sorry.Can't get out.philip. He sketched the outline of Nora's body in his mind.Her ugly little face, with its high cheekbones and its coarse complexion, disgusted him.The thought of her rough skin gave him goosebumps.He knew that certain steps would have to be taken quickly after the telegram was sent, but in any case the telegram bought him time to take certain steps. The next day, he sent another telegram. Pity.can't come.See letter for details. Mildred offered to come at four o'clock in the afternoon, but Philip would not tell her that it was an inconvenient time.Anyway, she came first.Philip waited impatiently for Mildred.He stood watching from the window, and when he saw her, he ran to open the door himself. "Huh? Have you met Nixon?"" "Yes," replied Mildred. "He said it was useless. It was impossible. I just had to suffer in silence." "But it's impossible to do that," cried Philip. She sat down wearily. "Has he given a reason?" he asked. She handed him a crumpled letter. "Here's a letter from you, Philip. I haven't opened it. I couldn't tell you yesterday, really couldn't tell you. Emile didn't marry me. He couldn't do that either, because he already had a wife, And three children were born." A mixture of jealousy and pain came over Philip suddenly.He could hardly bear the blow. "That's why I can't go back to my aunt. I have no one to look for now but you." "What made you go away with him?" Philip asked in a low voice, trying to restrain himself. "I don't know. At first I didn't know he was a married man. When he told me about it, I gave him a hard time. Then I didn't see him for months, and when he came back When he came to the store and proposed to me, I didn't know what was going on, I just felt like I had to go with him." "Did you love him then?" "I don't know. I couldn't help laughing listening to him then. And something about him--he said I'd never regret it, and promised me seven pounds a week--he said he was Fifteen pounds, but it was all a big lie, he didn't have fifteen pounds. At that time, I hated going to work in the shop every morning, and I didn't get on very well with my aunt, who was treated like a servant I, don't think of me as a relation. She said I should do it myself, or no one will do it for me. Oh, if only I hadn't been taken in by him then. But when he came When the store asked for my opinion, I felt that I really had no choice." Philip moved away from her and sat down at the table, covering his face with his hands.He was deeply ashamed. "You are not angry with me, Philip?" she said in a pathetic tone. "No," he replied, looking up but avoiding her, "I'm just terribly sad." "why?" "You know that I loved you dearly. I did everything I could to win your favor. I thought you would never fall in love with anyone else. Knowing The news of you willingly sacrificing yourself for that rough fellow strikes me as horrible. I don't know what you want in him." "I was so sorry, Philip. I regretted it terribly afterwards, terribly sorry, I assure you." Philip thought of Emile Miller.He was pale and bloodless, with treacherous blue eyes, a vulgar shrewd countenance, and always wore a brightly colored woven waistcoat.Philip let out a sigh.Mildenand stood up, walked up to him, and put his arms around his neck. "I shall never forget that you offered to marry me, Philip." Philip seized her hand and looked up at her.She bent down and kissed him. "Philip, if you still want me, I'll do anything you like now. I know you're a really good man." His heart suddenly stopped beating.Her words made him feel a little sick. "It's very kind of you, but I can't do this." "Don't you like me anymore?" "Why don't you like it, I love you from the bottom of my heart." "Well, since we've got the chance, why not take it for a spin? It doesn't matter now, you know!" Philip broke away from Mildred's embrace. "You don't understand me. I've been lovesick since I met you. But. Right now--the man. Unfortunately, I'm a man with a rich imagination, and when I think of that , I just want to throw up." "You're so funny," she said. He held her ding again and smiled at her. "Don't you think I don't appreciate you. I can't thank you enough. But, you know, that feeling is much stronger than mine." "You are a good friend, Philip." The two of them talked incessantly, and soon returned to the close companionship of old.It was getting late.Philip suggested that they should have dinner together and then go to the concert hall.She wanted Philip to do some persuasion, since she was trying to put on a pose that suited her situation.She instinctively felt that going out to entertainment places at this time did not correspond to her present grief state of mind.At last Philip said that he had only asked her to go with him to please him, and she did not accept until she thought it an act of self-sacrifice.She made a new and thoughtful suggestion, which pleased Philip.She asked Philip to take her to the little restaurant in Soho Street which they used to frequent.He was indebted to her for her advice brought him fond memories of happy times.Over the course of dinner she grew cheerful.Drinking the red wine brought from the tavern on the corner, her heart was so warm that she forgot that she should maintain a melancholy expression.Now, Philip thought, it was safe to talk to her about future plans. "You've got nothing on you, I suppose, have you?" he asked her, every chance he got. "I have only the few money you gave me yesterday, and I shall have to give the landlady three pounds out of it." "Well, I'll give you another ten quid to spend, and I'll go to my solicitor at once and ask him to write to Miller. I'm sure I can get him to pay. If we can get A hundred pounds will keep you going until the baby is born." "I'll never want a penny from him. I'd rather go hungry." "But it's disgusting to leave you like this." "I also have to think about my self-esteem." Philip felt a little embarrassed.Strict economy is required of himself to maintain his money till he is qualified as a physician, and he is required to set aside a sum for his employment as a resident physician or surgeon in his present or other hospital. required living expenses.But, remembering what Mildred had told him about Emil's miserliness, he dared not argue with her, for fear she would reproach him for lack of generosity. "I'd rather beg for bread in the street than take a penny from him. I've wanted to get a job a long time ago, but it's no good in the state I'm in. One has to think about one's health, doesn't it?" ?" "You don't have to think about working just yet," said Philip. "I can get you everything you want before you feel able to work." "I knew I could rely on you. I said to the Emir, don't think I can't find help. I told him you are a real man of good character." Philip gradually learns how separations come about.Looks like the guy's first wife found out what he was doing during his regular trips to London and tracked down the head of the firm that hired him.She threatened to divorce him, and the company said they would fire him if she filed for divorce.The guy loved his kids so much he couldn't bear the thought of being separated from them.When asked to choose between his wife and his mistress, he chose his wife.His mood has been uneasy, and he hopes that having children will not make this dispute more complicated.When Mildred could no longer hide it and told him about her impending childbirth, he was terrified, found a way to quarrel with Mildred, and abandoned her outright. "When will you be in labor?" asked Philip. "Early March." "There are still three months to go." Discussing the plan is necessary.Mildred complained that she no longer wanted to stay at Highbury Flats, and Philip thought it would be more convenient for her to be near him.He promised to find her a house the next day.She thought Vauxhall Bridge Road was an appropriate location. "It's also a shorter way to go there later on," she said. "what do you mean?" "Well, I can only stay there for two months or a little more, and then I'll have to live in a house. I know a very elegant place where there's a class of people of the highest order who take you in, Only four guineas a week, and nothing extra. Of course, the doctor's bill is not included. Other than that, there is no other cost. A friend of mine has been there. Manages the house I am a conscientious lady. I am going to tell her that my husband is an officer in India and that I have come to London to give birth because it will do my health good." Philip felt a little strange to hear her say that.Her delicate features and pale complexion made her look cold and quiet.His mind became inexplicably disturbed and restless, and his pulse beat violently when he thought of how unexpectedly the passion burning in her breast had been so unexpected.