Chapter 39 Chapter Thirty-Nine

Philip confessed his intentions to the Vicar of Blackstable, but the vicar would not nod to anything.He has such a great opinion: No matter what a person does, he must have a beginning and an end.He too, like all impotent people, puts too much emphasis on changing one's mind and changing one's mind. "Being an accountant was purely voluntary and no one forced you," he said. " "I chose the line because I saw it was going to the city, and that was the only chance I had. I hate London now, and the job, and nothing will make me go back there again." The Careys made no secret of their indignation at the news that Philip wanted to train to be a painter.They were telling Philip, remembering that his parents were gentlemen, that painting was a bad business, that it was done by libertines, and that it was neither decent nor moral.And to Paris!

"As long as I have a say in the matter, I will never let you go fooling around in Paris," said the vicar firmly. It was a hotbed of evil.Where the voluptuous sluts, the harlots of Babylon, openly flaunt their vices, there is no more wicked city in all the world. "You have been well-educated since you were a child, and you have been brought up as a gentleman and a Christian. If I let you go to the Devil's Den to be tempted, I will live up to the entrustment of your late parents to me." "Well, I know I'm not a Christian, and now I'm even starting to wonder if I'm a gentleman. I doubt it," said Philip.

The two sides fought fiercely with each other, neither giving way.Philip had to wait a year before he could dispose of the small inheritance his father had left him.Mr. Carey made it clear that Philip must stay in the office if he wants to get living expenses during this period. Philip knew that if he didn't intend to continue working as an accountant, he must leave now, so that he could get back half of the apprenticeship contract fee he had paid.But the pastor would not listen at all.Philip could not restrain himself any longer, and blurted out something harsh and hurtful. "What right have you to throw my money in the water!" he said at last. "It's my money after all, isn't it? I'm not a three-year-old. If I make up my mind to go to Paris, you can't stop me. You can't force me to go back to London!"

"If you do something I don't think fit, I won't give you a dime, and that's fine with me." "Well, I don't care! I'm going to Paris anyway, and I can sell my clothes, my books, and my father's jewelry." Aunt Louisa sat on one side in silence, anxious and distressed. She saw that Philip was out of breath, and knew that whatever she said at this time would only add fuel to the fire.At last the vicar declared that he wished not to speak of the matter any further, and left the room with dignity.The uncle and nephew ignored each other for three days.Philip wrote to Hayward to inquire about Paris, and resolved to set off as soon as he heard back.Mrs. Carey turned the matter over and over.She felt that Philip, in his hatred of her husband, involved herself in it.The thought troubled her very much.She loved the child with all her heart.At last she took it upon herself to talk to Philip, and she listened attentively when he confided to her his disillusionment about London, his hopes for the future, and his great ambitions.

"Maybe I can't make a name for myself, but at least let me try. I can't be any worse than staying in that nasty office. I feel that I can still paint a little bit, and I feel that I still have a little bit more in this respect." So talented." She was not as confident as her husband. She thought that her nephew's desire to become a painter was obviously possessed by ghosts, and the elders should stand in the way.But she has read the biographies of some great painters, and the parents of those painters objected to them learning to paint, and the facts proved how stupid this approach is.Besides, a painter might, after all, live a life of chastity, like an accountant, to honor the Lord.

"I'm worried about your going to Paris," she said sadly. "If you study painting in London, that's all right." "If you want to learn, you have to learn at home. The real art of painting can only be learned in Paris." Mrs. Carey, on Philip's suggestion, wrote to the solicitor, saying that Philip was dissatisfied with his position in London, and he wondered what he would think of it now if he should change his course.Mr. Nixon responded as follows: Dear Mrs. Carey: I have called on Mr. Herbert Carter, and I may not be able to tell the truth, that the year has not progressed satisfactorily for my nephew.If the nephew's resignation is very firm, it is better to take this opportunity to terminate the contract as soon as possible.Naturally, I was rather disappointed, but as the saying goes: "You can lead a horse to the river, but how can you force it to drink from the river?

your loyal Albert Nixon Showing the letter to the vicar only made him more obstinate.He was willing to let Philip change his family and find another profession, and even suggested that he should follow his father's career and become a doctor.However, if Philip insisted on going to Paris, it would be impossible to get a penny from him. "It's just an excuse for self-indulgence and sensuality," said the priest. "I find it amusing to hear you blame others for self-indulgence," Philip retorted sarcastically. By this time, Hayward had written back.The letter mentioned the name of a hotel where Philip would rent a room for thirty francs a month.Included in the letter was a letter of introduction to a female treasurer of an art school.Philip told Mrs. Carey the conviction, and told her that he intended to start on the first of September.

"But you don't have a cent with you?" she said. "I'm going to Canterbury this afternoon to sell my jewellery." His father had left him a gold watch on a gold chain, two or three rings, and clasps, and two brooches, one of which was set with pearls, and would fetch a great price. "Buying is a treasure, selling is bare grass," said Aunt Louisa. Philip smiled, because this was a phrase from his uncle. "I know that. But I think they'll sell for at least a hundred pounds. With that money, I should be able to last till I'm twenty-one."

Mrs. Carey made no reply, but went upstairs, put on her little black cap, and went out to the bank.She came back an hour later.She went into the living room, went up to Philip, who was buried in his book, and handed him an envelope. "What is it?" he asked. "A small gift for you," she replied, smiling sheepishly. He opened the envelope bag and saw that there were eleven five-pound notes inside, and a small paper packet stuffed with one gold pound. "I can't bear to see you sell your father's jewellery. It's my money in the bank. It's nearly a hundred pounds."

Philip blushed, and for some reason, his heart felt sour, and tears filled his eyes. "Oh dear, I can't take this," he said. "You are very kind, but I can't bear to accept this money." When Mrs. Carey came out of the cabinet, she had three hundred pounds of private money on hand. She guarded this money and was reluctant to spend a penny. Donate money, or buy a Christmas or birthday gift for the uncle and nephew.Over the years, though little remained of this wretched sum, it was still the butt of jokes by the vicar, who always referred to his wife as "grandmother" and kept talking about the money from his own house.

"Oh, Philip, please take it. It's only because I spend so much money, and that's all I have. I'd be glad if you'd take it." "But you need it yourself," said Philip. "No, I don't think I need it anymore. I kept the money in case your uncle went away before me. I think it's good to have something on hand to meet emergencies, but now that I think about it, I He's dying, and he won't live long." "Oh, my dear, don't say that. Well, you must be immortal. I can't do without you." "Oh, I can rest in peace now." She covered her face with her hands, her voice was trembling, and she was speechless.After a while, she wiped away her tears and smiled bravely. "In the beginning, I used to pray that God would not call me first, because I didn't want your uncle to be left alone in the world, and I didn't want him to suffer. But now I understand that he is not like me, he will not take It's all so important. He wants to live more than I do. I've never been the ideal life partner for him. If something happened to me, I don't think he would remarry. So I hope I can go first. Philip , I say that, you don't think I'm selfish, do you. I can't stand it if he goes first." Philip kissed her thin, lined cheek.He didn't understand that he felt inexplicably ashamed at the sight of such affectionate and tear-jerking scenes.It was incomprehensible that she cared so much for such an extremely cold, selfish, vulgar and capricious man.Philip felt dimly that, though she knew in her heart that her husband was cold and selfish, yes, she knew all about it, she loved him humbly. "Will you take the money, Philip?" she said, touching Philip gently.hands. "I know you can get by without this money, but it would bring me great happiness if you accept it. I've always wanted to do something for you. You see, I never raised a child myself, I love you and have always regarded you as my own son. When you were a child, I almost wished you to be sick. Although I know this idea is evil, but this way I can guard day and night. You It's a pity that you only fell ill once, and then you went to school. I really want to help you. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity in my life. Maybe one day you really become a great painter, you will Don't forget me, you'll think I was the first to fund your business." "You are very kind," said Philip, "and I can't express how grateful I am to you." In her tired eyes, there was a smile, which was a kind of happy smile from the heart. "Oh, how happy I am!"