Chapter 31 Chapter Thirty-One

For a month, Hayward said four days that he would leave for the south tomorrow, but he could not make up his mind considering the trouble of packing and the tedium of the journey, and the trip was delayed week after week. Delayed, until before Christmas, everyone was busy with the holidays, so they had no choice but to leave.He couldn't bear the Teutonic way of having fun, and just thinking about the wild and carnival scenes during the festivals gave him goosebumps.In order not to attract attention, he decided to set off quietly on Christmas Eve. Philip did not feel much reluctance when he sent Hayward away, for he was of a straightforward nature, and always irritated anyone who was indecisive or indecisive.Although he was deeply influenced by Hayward, he believed that a person's indecision did not necessarily mean that he was sensitive and lovable.He also resented Hayward's sternness, and occasional undertones of sarcasm, about his conduct.The two of them kept in touch with each other.Hayward can be said to be a master of rulers. He knows he is quite talented in this area, and he is particularly willing to work hard when writing letters.As far as Hayward's temperament is concerned, he has a strong sensibility for the beautiful things he comes into contact with, and he can pour the elegant rural scenery of Italy into the lines of his letters from Rome.He thought that the city built by the ancient Romans was a bit vulgar, and it was only famous because of the decline of the Roman Empire; but the Rome of the popes resonated in his heart, and he carefully described it, Rococo The exquisite beauty of Chinese-style architecture is vivid on paper.Hayward talks of old-fashioned church music and Alpine scenery, of the hypnotic scent of incense, and of haunting rainy night streetscapes, with shimmering sidewalks and flickering street lamps that seem unreal .Maybe he even copied and mailed these amazing letters to his relatives and friends without changing the word.Little did he know that these letters disturbed Philip's peace of mind.In comparison, Philip's current life seemed so dull.As spring approached, Hayward's poems flourished, and he suggested that Philip should come to Italy.His stay in Heidelberg was pure waste of time.The Germans behaved rough, and life there was unremarkable.How can one's soul be sublimated in such a rigid and uniform environment?In Tuscany it was now springtime, and the flowers were everywhere; and Philip was nineteen.Come on, they can tour the hills of Umbria together.The names of those mountain cities were deeply engraved on Philip's heart.And Cacilie, who also went to Italy with sympathy.For some reason, when he thought of the couple, an inexplicable sense of panic gripped his heart.He cursed his own fate, because he couldn't even raise funds to go to Italy, and he knew that his uncle would not give him a cent more than fifteen pounds a month as promised.He himself is not good at calculating.After paying for board and tuition, Philip had very little left in his pocket.Besides, he found it too costly to go out with Hayward's company.Hayward suggested a picnic, a theatre, or a bottle of beer, when Philip's monthly cash had been spent and his pocket was empty; There was such a sense of stupidity that he refused to admit that he was short of money and couldn't afford extravagance.

Happily Hayward's letters did not come very often, and Philip had time to settle down to the industrious life of his poor schoolboy.Philip entered the University of Heidelberg, auditing a course or two.Quino Fisher was famous and famous at this time.That winter he gave a series of very good lectures on Schopenhauer.Philip learned philosophy from this person.His mind focuses on practicality, and when he comes into contact with abstract thinking, he feels uneasy like falling into a sea of ​​smoke, but when he listens to the special report on empirical philosophy, he keeps quiet and is unexpectedly fascinated, a bit like Watching tightrope dancers perform thrilling stunts on cliffs is exhilarating.This theme of misanthropy deeply attracted the young man.He believes that the society he is about to step into is a dark and merciless sea of ​​suffering, which does not diminish his enthusiasm for stepping into the society in the slightest.Soon, Mrs. Carey wrote to convey the opinion of Philip's guardian: it is time for him to return home.Philip readily agreed.What to do in the future, I have to make up my mind now.If Philip left Heidelberg at the end of July, they could discuss it in August, and it would be a good time if they could make proper arrangements.

After the return date was confirmed, Mrs. Carey sent another letter reminding him not to forget Miss Wilkinson. Thanks to this lady's recommendation, Philip found a place to stay at Mrs. Olin's house in Heidelberg.It also told him that Miss Wilkinson was coming to Blackstable to stay with them for a few weeks.If she was expected to cross from Flushing on such and such a day, he would be able to accompany her and look after her on the way to Blackstable.Philip, who was naturally shy, hastened to write back, saying that he would not be able to start for a day or two.He imagined how he would look for Miss Wilkinson in the crowd, how he would run up embarrassingly to ask if she was Miss Wilkinson (he would probably be ridiculed for calling the wrong person), and then thought that he could not get it. Should I talk to her on the train, or should I ignore her and just read a book by myself.

Philip finally left Heidelberg.In the past three months, he was only thinking about his own future, and he had no intention of being nostalgic when he left.He never found life there much fun.Miss Anna gave him a copy of Chaikin's Trumpeter, and Philip gave her a copy of William Morris in return.They were very smart after all, and neither of them read the scrolls given by the other.