Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

But it was impossible for Philip to live long in the thin air of the mountains.The scene where he was immersed in religious zeal last time was repeated again now.Because he deeply felt the charm of faith, because the fire of longing for self-sacrifice burned in his chest, bursting out like jewels, so he seemed a little powerless.The violent rush of passion had consumed his energies.His mind suddenly dried up completely, as if he had encountered a severe drought that had not been experienced in a century.He began to forget about the God who seemed to be everywhere at all times and everywhere.Although he still prays and worships on time now, it's just a show and a formality.At the beginning, he also blamed himself for not giving up halfway, and the fear of hellfire once drove him to cheer up.But the enthusiasm was reduced to ashes, and he was gradually being distracted by other interests in life.

Philip had few friends.His love of reading has made him a loner.Dispersing books has become his first need in life, no matter who he stays with, he will feel bored and irritable after a while; Quick thinking, but not good at concealing, his contempt for the ignorance and ignorance of his companions is often beyond words.His schoolmates complained that he had his tail up in the air; Philip didn't think he was superior to them in any great thing, and they often retorted and asked him why he was so arrogant.Philip gradually showed a pungent sense of humor, and he had a set of sarcasm, which could touch others' pain points as soon as he opened his mouth.For him, it was just for fun when he said some mischievous words. He seldom thought of how powerful his words were, and when he found out that the person he had ridiculed had a grudge, he felt sorry for himself.The humiliation he suffered when he first entered school made him shy away from his classmates; he could not completely get rid of this fear, and was always so shy and taciturn.In fact, even though he treats his classmates as aliens and tries to stay away from them as much as possible, he longs for their support in his heart. For some children, it seems easy.He secretly dodged aside, admiring these children.Although he was often more merciless in his sarcasm, and often made fun of them in public, he would have given his all for their position.To tell the truth, he is willing to be the most stupid student in the school, as long as his limbs are healthy.Philip gradually developed a habit of imagining himself as some child with whom he was particularly fascinated, or, as it were, pouring his soul into that child's body, speaking in that child's voice, imitating him. laughing in that tone of voice; imagine yourself doing whatever the kid did.He imagined it so vividly that for a moment he felt that he had really become another person.It was in this way that he sometimes enjoyed a whimsical joy.

After confirmation, the school closed for Christmas.At the beginning of the new term after the holidays Philip moved into another study.Among the children in the same room, there was a classmate named Rose, who Philip admired and envied.The boy was not very good-looking: he had thick hands and big feet, broad waist and broad shoulders, which showed that he would be a tall man in the future.He was clumsy, but his eyes were charming, and when he grinned (which he often did), the skin around the corners wrinkled in a funny way.The kid Ross was neither bright nor stupid, but he was good at his studies and he was good at all kinds of games.He was the favorite of teachers and classmates, and he liked everyone around him.

After Philip was placed in this study room, he noticed at a glance that other people in the same room were quite indifferent to him.They get along day and night and have lived together for three semesters.He was disturbed, feeling that he was a trespasser.However, he has learned how to hide his emotions, so he gives the impression that he keeps quiet all day long and keeps his own place.Like other children, Philip could not resist Rose's charm, and became more and more shy and flustered in front of Rose.Unexpectedly, it was this Rose who took the first action and brought Philip into their circle of life.As for why Rose did this, is it because of seeing Philip's twists and turns, flustered, and couldn't help but want to test his special charm on him, or purely out of good intentions, this is unknown.One day, rather abruptly, he asked Philip if he would go to the football field with him.Philip flushed.

"I can't walk fast enough to keep up with you," he said. "Nonsense, let's go!" They were about to leave when a student poked his head in through the door of the study.Say hello to Ross. "No," he replied, "I already promised Carey." "Don't bother about me," said Philip quickly, "I don't mind." "Bullshit," Ross said. He looked Philip up with his good-natured eyes, and laughed.For some reason Philip felt a throbbing in his heart. The two of them were just like ordinary boys, they just agreed, and after a while, they became a pair of inseparable companions.The other students were surprised to see the two of them suddenly so hot, and someone asked Ross what he liked about Philip.

"Oh, I don't know," he replied, "he's not a bad guy, really." Soon the students got used to it too: they often saw them walking arm in arm to church, or walking and talking in the church grounds; wherever they found one, the other was always there.Anyone who came to Ross for something would send a message to Kaili, as if acknowledging that Ross was no one but him.At first Philip restrained himself somewhat, and did not allow himself to be carried away by the ecstasy; but before long his doubts of fate were shattered before the intoxication of happiness.He thought Rose was the most remarkable man he had ever met in his life.Those books that he couldn't put it down have become insignificant and dispensable now; there are still some things that are immeasurably more important for him to do, how can he cling to the books!Rose's friends used to come to drink tea and sit in his study when they had nothing to do--Ross's boisterous nature never missed an opportunity to amuse--and they thought Philip was a decent fellow.Philip naturally liked it wholeheartedly.

It was the last day of term, and he and Ross were planning which bus to take when they returned to school after the holidays, so they could meet at this station and have tea together in town before heading back to school.Philip went home morosely, and all through the holiday he thought of Rose, and his mind was full of thoughts of what they would do together next term.He was tired of being in the Vicarage.On the last day of the holiday, his uncle asked him the old question in the usual joking tone: "Well, are you happy to go back to school?" Philip responded cheerfully: "of course!"

It had already been agreed upon when we would meet at the station, but just to be on the safe side, Philip took the earlier train and came ahead of time.He waited for an hour near the platform.When the train from Faversham pulled in, Philip ran with the train in excitement, knowing that Rose would have to change trains at Faversham.But Ross didn't come on this bus.Philip asked the porter when the next train would arrive, and waited on, only to be disappointed again.Cold and hungry, he had to walk back to school through alleys and shortcuts through slums.But Ross was already in the study, with his feet resting on the mantelpiece, talking wildly with half a dozen of his classmates, who were sitting here and there here and there.Rose shook hands with Philip enthusiastically, but Philip made a long face.He knew that Rose had forgotten all about the appointment to meet at the station.

"Hey, why are you here now!" said Rose, "I thought you'd never come." "You arrived at the train station at half past four," said another classmate, "I saw you when I came." Philip flushed slightly.He didn't want Rose to know that he was waiting at the station like a fool. "I have to take care of a friend at home," Rose made up a catchphrase, "and they want me to give her a ride." In any case, his friend's refusal made him a little resentful.He sat in silence, and when someone talked to him, he just grunted and grumbled.Philip made up his mind not to question Rose until he was alone with Rose.But as soon as the others had left, Rose came up to him, and Philip lazily leaned back in his chair.Rose sat down on the arm of the chair.

"Hey, I'm so glad we're sharing the same library again this term. It's exciting, isn't it?" He seemed genuinely glad to see Philip, and Philip's anger melted away at once.They talked about a thousand things that interested them, as if they had parted for less than five minutes.