Chapter 17 Part 5 6-10

six In November, I set off for home.When we were parting, we made an appointment: she would wait for me in Orel on December 1st, and I would meet her later, even a week later, because of the criticism of the rabbit.However, as soon as the first day came, I wanted to catch the night train she was going to take from the county town, and ride a carriage to Pisarevo on a cold moon night.I see and feel that wondrous night again!Saw myself galloping across the snowfields between Baturino and Vasilyevskoye.The two sets of carriages are galloping, and the shaft horse seems to be shaking its yoke in one place, striding forward; the hips of the side horses rise and fall rhythmically, and the shiny hind hoofs kick up snowballs... Sometimes The two horses strayed off the road, sank into the deep snow, and got caught up in the fallen noose, causing a moment of haste.Then they jumped out onto the road again and galloped forward, holding on to the hitch shafts... All were galloping, all hurrying, and at the same time seemed to be standing and waiting.In the distance, the icicles on the snow, like scales, glowed silver motionlessly under the moonlight, and the low moon, which had become cloudy in the cold, also shone motionless, surrounded by a wide hazy rainbow. Halo, looks mysterious and desolate.I was more motionless than anything else, sitting frozen in this bouncing but seemingly stationary car, temporarily at its mercy, waiting blankly, and at the same time quietly recalling the past: that was when I was in Batu The first winter Linnuo spent was also such a night, on the way to Vasilyevskoye. I had just entered my youth at that time, simple, innocent, happy, and I began to dream, intoxicated by Vasilyevskoye. Among those old volumes brought back by Yevskoye: quatrains, books, lamentations, narrative poems:

Prancing horse gallops.There was nothingness all around. The vast grassland unfolded in front of Svetlana... "Where is all this now!" I mused, but generally I remained in that state—waiting. "The galloping horse gallops. There is nothingness around." I chanted to myself to the rhythm of the galloping carriage (the rhythm of movement has always had such a magic for me).I feel like a fierce knight in ancient times, wearing a tall cap and a bearskin cloak, galloping on horseback.However, the hired man standing at the front of the carriage, wearing a short leather jacket with a thick woolen coat covered in snowflakes, brought me back to reality with the straw stuffed around my frozen feet.The sweet-smelling straw was also dusted with snow powder and frozen hard... Outside Vasilievskoye, the carriage slipped into a hole, the shaft horse fell and broke the shaft.When the hirelings got out to tie up the shafts, I was in a panic for fear of missing the train.As soon as I arrived at the station, I immediately bought a first-class ticket (she always took first-class carriages) with all the money I had, and went straight to the platform.I still remember the moonlight pouring down through the cold, hazy, and the yellow light from the street lamps on the platform and the bright windows of the telegraph room was lost in this moonlight.The train was gradually approaching, and I looked up into the distance, the snowflakes were flying, and I was confused and dim.It was so cold that I shivered from the cold inside, and I felt like I was made of glass.Suddenly, a great bell strikes in the distance, followed by a harsh clang of doors opening and closing, and people stride hastily out of the station hall.At this time, a dark locomotive appeared in the distance, panting with difficulty, and moving slowly, revealing a terrifying triangle formed by dark red lights... The train finally entered the station, and it was completely covered with ice and snow, freezing inside and out There was a sharp creaking sound, as if complaining... I jumped onto the aisle of the carriage.Push the carriage door open.The cherry-colored curtains concealed the wall lights, she sat in the dark, with a fur coat on her shoulders, looking straight at me, she was the only one in the whole carriage...

The old-fashioned carriage was very tall, with three pairs of wheels under it. When running in the severe cold, the whole body rumbled and swayed, the doors and side walls creaked, and the window panes were covered with gray frost... …The night was deep, and we had come a long way…Everything happened naturally, beyond the scope of our will and reason… She stood up, her cheeks were bright red, and her expression was bewildered.She trimmed her hair, sat in a corner, closed her eyes, showing an inviolable appearance... seven We spent the winter in Orel. This new, unsettling intimacy had secretly bound the two of us together.In the morning, when we got out of the carriage and came to the editorial office, it was really hard to express our mood!

I was staying in a small inn, and she was still staying with Avelova.We spent almost all day at Avelova's house, except for meetings in the inn. It is a well-earned happiness that wears out both physically and mentally. I remember, she went skating one night, and I was sitting in the editorial office, and they started giving me a little bit of work and a salary.The house was empty, Avelova had gone to a meeting.The night is long, the street lamp outside the window looks melancholy and lonely, pedestrians stepping on the snow gradually approach and gradually go away, this kind of creaking footsteps seems to have stolen and taken away something from me.Depression, grievance, and jealousy tormented my heart.It's not for her that I'm sitting here alone, doing such absurd things that don't deserve me, with no regard for decency.But she was having fun on the frozen artificial lake; the lake was surrounded by embankments covered with snow, black fir trees, military music, lavender gas lights flooded the ice rink, and black figures flew by. Flying around, bustling... Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and she walked in quickly, wearing a gray dress, a gray mouse fur hat, and holding shiny skates in her hands.Immediately, the whole room was filled with the chill she brought and the vitality of youth, which made people happy.Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and exercise, and she was very pretty. "Ah, I'm tired!" She said and walked into her room.I followed her.She collapsed on the sofa, leaning back with a sleepy smile, her skates still in hand.I stared at her high laced insteps and her legs in gray socks protruding from under the gray skirt with a painful and accustomed mood. Even the strong woolen body was very tormented. I.I started to blame her - you know we haven't seen each other for a whole day!Suddenly, with extreme tenderness and affection, I saw her fall asleep... When she woke up, she said to me softly and sadly: "I heard almost everything you said. Don't be angry, I am really tired You know, I have experienced too many things this year!"

Eight Seeking an excuse to stay in Orel, she took up music lessons.I also found an excuse: I was working at Golos.At first I was even a little happy: my life was finally on the right track, and I was relieved to have a little obligation to keep from being idle and bored all day long.Soon, a thought flashed into my mind more and more often: Is this the kind of life I yearn for?I'm in the prime of my life, and probably should have the whole world, but I don't even have a pair of galoshes!Is all this just temporary?If yes, then what next?I began to feel that our intimacy, the unity of our feelings, our thoughts, our interests, that is to say, her fidelity, was far from infallible. "The eternal contradiction between fantasy and reality", perfect love can never be obtained, these feelings are deeply experienced by me this winter, and they are completely new to me. Extremely unreasonable.

What bothered me most was going to a party with her.I saw that whenever she danced with young, handsome and suave people, she was full of enthusiasm and energy, and her skirts and legs flashed quickly. It hit my heart so hard that I burst into tears.Everyone admired her when she danced with Turchaninov, that very tall officer.He had a half-shaven beard, a long dark face with no luster, and dark, dull eyes.Rika was already quite tall, but Turchaninov was two heads taller.He hugged her tightly, walked her around calmly and for a long time, condescending, and stared at her.Rika raised her face to him, showing an expression of happiness and misfortune, which made me feel very cute and at the same time extremely disgusting.I had prayed to God and hoped for the unbelievable: that suddenly he would bend his head and kiss her, and that would immediately solve the problem, confirming the heavy premonition and pain in my heart!

She said to me: "You only care about yourself and want everything to suit you. Deprive me of all private life, all social activities, and make me live in isolation like you, then you will be happy..." There is, indeed, a secret law which calls for compassion and tenderness in any love, but especially in that of a woman.But I just don't like (especially in the crowd) when she is cheerful and lively, trying to be pleasing and stand out, I deeply like her simplicity, quietness, docility, weakness, tears, you know, she When tears flow, the lips immediately pucker up like a child's.In social situations, I do often remain distant, like a malicious bystander.I even secretly rejoice in my distant and hostile attitude, which makes me sensitive and penetrating to all human flaws.But how much I longed to be close to her, and how much I suffered when I didn't achieve it!

I often read poetry to her. "Listen, how touching!" I exclaimed. "'Take my soul far away where singing is loud, where melancholy is like moonlight over a grove!'" But she didn't find it touching. "Yes, it's very well written!" She lay comfortably on the sofa, put her hands on her cheeks, looked at me, and said softly and coldly: "But why did you write 'like the moonlight over a grove'? Did Fett write it? He was always too fond of nature!" I became angry: describe nature!I began to argue that there is no nature independent of us, and that every tiniest movement of air is our own life in motion.She smiled:

"Honey, only spiders live like this!" I read: How sad!forest path Early in the morning disappeared in the dust again; The chains of silver snakes And crawling through the snowdrifts... she asked: "What snake?" It is necessary to explain again, saying that this is a blizzard, and the wind stirs the snow. I read palely: Cold night opens hazy eyes Look under my hood... Misty clouds and mist behind the forest outside the mountain, The moon is dark, like a ghost... "My dear," she said, "you know I've never seen anything like it!" I continued to read, but I was already secretly blaming her in my heart.

The sun piercing the clouds is hot and high, You painted a piece of dazzling yellow sand in front of the bench... She approved of it, but probably only because she imagined herself sitting in the garden, drawing in the sand with a pretty parasol. "It's charming," she said, "but stop reading poetry. Come to me. . . . You're always dissatisfied with me!" I often tell her about my childhood and youth, about my family's poetic manor, about my mother, father, and sister.She listened with a kind of merciless indifference.I told how our family life was sometimes difficult. For example, once we took all the old gold and silver ornaments from the holy images and took them into the city to pawn them to Mescherinova, an old lonely lady.This old lady looks like an oriental, very scary: hooked nose, moustache, blister eyes, wearing a silk dress, a shawl, and a ring.In her empty room, which was heaped with all sorts of rare and expensive ornaments, a parrot croaked queerly and dullly all day long.When I told the story, I hoped that she would have a sad and moved expression, but what I saw was not sad or moved, so what was it?

"Oh, it's terrible!" she said casually. The longer I stayed in the city, the more somehow I felt completely unwelcome here, and even Avelova changed her attitude towards me for some reason and became distant, unsympathetic, and somewhat The meaning of the joke.The more dull my life in the city got, the more I wanted to be alone with Lika, to read to her, to say something to her, to express my opinion.My room at the inn was cramped and dark, and thinking of myself, of the trunk and the few books which made up my whole possessions, and of the lonely nights made me unhappy.The night is so cold and bleak, not a sweet dream, but an annoying torment. I am always in a trance all night, looking forward to the sky, looking forward to the first ringing of the nearby bell tower in the cold winter morning.Her room was at the end of the corridor, near the stairs leading to the attic. It was also narrow, but the window faced the garden. The room was quiet, warm, and tidy and tidy.At dusk she would light the fire, put on extraordinarily fine sandals, curl up her feet and curl up with her body, and lie on the sofa cushions with a very happy expression.I read: The midnight snow howls, Here in the wild forest, I sat on the floor with her, The dead branches are peeled off in the fire. However, all these snowstorms, forests, fields, poetic wild pleasures, and fireworks are strange to her. I thought for a long time that if I said, "You know those roads that are trodden out in the fall? Elastic, like snow-green rubber, full of horseshoe spikes , shining like a golden belt in the setting sun." She would be excited when she heard it.So I told her one thing: One day in late autumn, the ceiling of my kitchen suddenly collapsed, almost killing my old cook—he was old and always lying on the stove pit in the kitchen.So my brother Georgi and I went out to buy birch, and went into the woods to buy this kind of wood for the beams of the ceiling.Huo Yu was falling all over the world, and the drizzle fell quickly through the sun.We rode with some farmers in a cart, first ran quickly along the road, and then got into the woods.The woods, glistening in the rain and the sun, looked very comfortable, beautiful, and quiet, and though the glades were still green, they were dead and full of water... I also spoke of a birch tree.It was covered with withered and yellow broken leaves from top to bottom. The farmers walked around it clumsily, looked at it and looked at it, then spit on the rough palm like a claw, swung their axes, Concerted efforts to chop up black and white variegated trunks.At this time, how much I regret this birch tree with a wide crown... "You can't imagine, everything is wet, everything is shining and changing!" I finally confided to her that I wanted to write a book based on this matter. this novel.She shrugged: "Come on, dear, what's there to write about! Why keep writing about the weather?" Music is, for me, the most complex and excruciating appreciation.How I love her when she plays a beautiful piece of music!How weary I am of the tenderness of my heart, the high-spirited sacrifice of myself for her!How I want to live long, long!When listening to her playing the piano, I often think: "If we break up, can I still hear the music she plays? If I didn't share this kind of love and happiness with her, what else would I love? Why would I love her?" Happy!" But when I heard something I didn't like, I couldn't help but make a vehement comment, which set her off: "Nadya!" She let go of the keys, turned around abruptly, and called to Avelova in the next room. "Listen, Nadya, what nonsense is he talking about here!" "I'll tell you more!" I yelled. "Three-quarters of each of these sonatas is noisy and messy! Why, you can hear the sound of shovels digging graves from here! Why, it's like a group of fairies dancing on the grass, and there's a Sounds like a waterfall! Fairy is one of my worst words! Worse than 'breeding' clichés in the newspapers!" She is confident that she has an avid love for drama, and I hate drama.I have come to believe more and more that the "talent" of actors and actresses is mostly just that they are vulgar than ordinary people, and they are better at presenting themselves as creators and artists in the most vulgar way.All these perpetual matchmakers, wearing green silk turbans and Turkish shawls, humbly, coyly, posturingly, and talk to them in sweet tones, And Jit? Jitchi always put on an air of arrogance and conceit, leaning up, either covering his chest with his left hand, which must be stretched out, or pressing it on the pocket of the long-hemmed dress, like a pig. The mayors and the frivolous Khlestakovs, the Osips who speak with their sullen hisses, the disgusting Lepotilovs, the cynical dandies Chatskys, and There are the Famusovs, all fiddling with their fingers, and puffing up the actor's plump lips; The listless look of a womanizer, with thighs wrapped in black velvet and pauper-flat feet.All of this just makes me shiver with nausea.And in the opera, Rigoletto is so bent, his feet, contrary to all laws of nature, stand forever apart, and his knees are joined together!Susanin⑤ rolled her white eyes and looked at the sky, with a gloomy and silly expression, and shouted intermittently: "Rise up, my morning glow!" He stretched out his hands like dry sticks. Although he was trembling with anger, he didn't take off the engagement ring. His clothes were ragged, as if he had been bitten by a group of mad dogs!We never came to any agreement on the theater, no mutual concessions, no possibility of mutual understanding.Once, a well-known actor from the province came to Orel to perform⑦.He looks like an aunt, but his beard is too messy, and he sits on the hospital bed in a patient's gown, without saying a word for a long time, which is unbearable.His expression began to be dazed and joyful, and gradually turned into astonishment, then slowly raised a finger, and finally stuck out his chin fiercely, and began to utter a sound in an unbearable tone very slowly Another voice came: "Today..." Everyone stared at him intently and praised him.So the next day he played Lyubim Tortsov even better.And on the third day, Marmeladov with a gray nose and oily body ⑨: "Your Excellency, how dare I tell you?" There was also an actress who wrote a letter on stage, and she suddenly decided to write a sentence that was a matter of life and death , so hurriedly sat down at the table, dipped an empty pen into an empty ink bottle, wrote three long lines on the paper in the blink of an eye, stuffed it into an envelope, and rang the bell. , briefly and dryly commanded the maid who responded, "Send someone to deliver it right away!" The beautiful maid wore a white apron.Every time after the night scene, I would argue with her until three o'clock in the middle of the night, making Avilova unable to sleep alone.I curse not only Gogol's Madman, Tortsov and Marmeladov, but also Gogol, Ostrovsky, Dostoyevsky... ————— ① A character in the Russian playwright Ostrovsky's play "Learned by Generations". ②The above persons are the characters in the play "The Imperial Envoy" by the Russian writer Gogol. ③The above persons are characters in the play "The Pain of Wisdom" by the Russian writer Griboyedov. ④The protagonist in the opera of the same name (also translated as Rigoletto) written by the Italian composer Verdi. ⑤ The protagonist in the opera "Ivan Susanin" by the Russian composer Glinka. ⑥ An opera by the Czech composer Dvořák. ⑦The works of Russian writer Gogol. ⑧A character in Ostrovsky's comedy "Poverty and Not Crime". ⑨A character in a novel by the Russian writer Dostoevsky. "Even if you're right," she scolded, her face turned pale, her eyes darkened, and she looked extraordinarily charming. "But why do you keep getting so angry? Nadja, ask him!" I yelled and replied: "Just because I heard the actor pronounce the word 'fragrance' as 'Fan Yixiang', I was ready to strangle him!" This yelling between us broke out after every social gathering with Orel.I tried my best to share with her the joy of my keen observation, to influence her with my harsh attitude towards those around me, to make her sympathize with me in thought and feeling.But I saw with despair that the result was exactly the opposite of what I had hoped for.I once said to her: "You don't know how many enemies I have!" "What enemy? Where is it?" she asked. "All kinds, everywhere: in hotels, in shops, on the street, at the station..." "Who are these enemies?" "Everyone! There are a lot of villains! You know, even St. Paul said: 'All bodies are different, men are of the same kind, and beasts are of the same kind...' Some people are simply frightening, walking I always walk like that, leaning over like that, as if I just transformed from a quadruped yesterday. Yesterday I followed a broad-shouldered, well-built sheriff down Bollhofstrasse. For a long time, the eyes have been fixed on his thick back in the coat and the calf tightly packed in the shiny boots. Well, I put the boots, the overlapping of the boots, the strong gray woolen coat , the buttons on the belt and this forty-year-old Yan Sheng, who is well-groomed and muscular, are staring at him!" "You're so ashamed!" she said with disgust. "Are you really so wicked, so vile? I can't understand you. You're full of queer contradictions!" Nine Every morning when I come to the editorial office and see her gray fur coat on the hanger, it's like seeing her, a very tender part of her, and seeing those beautiful gray overboots under the hanger, it's like seeing her. My pleasure and intimacy increased every day when I saw the most touching part of her.Impatient to see her, I came before the others.I sat at my desk, flipping through and revising local newsletters, reading the capital papers to compile the Newsletter, and almost rewriting short stories sent in by local authors.While I was working, I was listening and waiting.Finally, the sound of hurried footsteps and the rustle of skirts came.She ran over, her face was full of vigor, her hands exuded a refreshing breath, her eyes were shining brightly after a full sleep, she looked so young and full of energy.She looked around briefly, then kissed me.She sometimes came to see me at the inn, and she smelled of cold fur coats and the cold weather.I kissed her face, which was as cold as an apple, and hugged her warm and soft body wrapped in the fur coat.She broke free and said with a smile: "Let go, I'm here on business!" As she said that, she rang the bell to call the servant, instructed him to clean the room, and even helped with her own hands... Once I overheard her talking to Avelova.They don't know why they sat in the dining room at night and talked about me openly, probably thinking that I had gone to the printing factory.Avelova asked: "Rika, dear, what's next? You know how I feel about him. Of course, he's cute, I understand, you're fascinated... what's next?" I seem to have fallen into an abyss.Why, I'm just "cute" and nothing else!And she was nothing but "bewitched"! The answer was even more chilling; "What can I do? I can't see any way out..." It drives me crazy to hear those words.I was about to burst into the dining room and shout: There is a way out, I won't be in Orel in an hour, when she suddenly said: "Najia, why can't you see that I really love him! Besides, you don't know him well after all, he is a thousand times better than what you see on the outside..." Yes, I may look a lot worse on the outside than I really am.I lived a stressful life, worried, harsh, arrogant, easily sentimental, and easily angered.But I am also apt to change myself, and when I see that nothing threatens my rapport with her, and that no one has her hands on her, all my good, simple, and jovial nature returns to me at once.If I knew that I could go to the evening party with her without humiliation and pain, how glad I would go to the appointment!I would gaze before the mirror, admiring myself, admiring my eyes, the blurred marks of youthful flush, my white shirt--what a wonderful sound the folds of a starched shirt make when it folds!What a blessing the ball would be to me, if at the ball I would not be troubled by jealousy!Every time I go through a difficult moment before a ball: I have to put on the tuxedo of Avilova's late husband.However, as soon as you step out of the house, breathe the clear air, look up at the starry sky, and get on the rental sleigh in a hurry, those uncomfortable moments will be forgotten... Why should the dazzling ball be decorated with red stripes? Tianmu, God knows why the police commanding the guests' vehicles are so domineering at the entrance!Anyway, this is the ball: this grotesque entrance, the white light is scorching and dazzling, shining on the white sugar-like snow trampled in front of the door, here is a performance of speed and good order.The police screamed, their beards turned up like wire with the cold, their shiny boots stomped through the snow, their hands in white velvet gloves somehow stuck in their pockets, The elbows have to be deliberately pushed aside hard.The male guests were almost all in uniform (uniforms were flying all over the streets in Russia at that time), and they were all proud of their uniforms that showed their official titles.I had already noticed then that even those who have held the highest positions and titles throughout their lives are by no means indifferent to them.These people also often irritate me, making my eyes sharpen and focus on them immediately.But the ladies were almost all coquettish.In the foyer they took off their fur coats and parka hats, revealing their charming figures and immediately fascinated people.They were growing in number, attractive in the mirror, and worthy only to walk on the red carpet of the grand staircase.Immediately afterwards, the empty but magnificent hall before the ball, the fresh and cool air, a series of heavy and shining chandeliers, the tall windows without curtains, the smooth and open parquet floor, flowers, incense powder, The smell of perfume and soft white sheepskin gloves for dancing—it all begins to turbulent and excited as the guests arrive one after another, waiting for the first song of the orchestra, waiting for the first couple of dancers—often the most confident, The most skilled couple suddenly flew into the spacious dance floor that hadn't opened yet. I always get there before them to the dance.When I arrived, the guests were gradually gathering from all directions, and they stuffed the cold men's and women's fur coats and woolen coats to the waiters in the hall.The frigid air around me made the tuxedo look too thin, and I was wearing someone else's tuxedo, my hair was slicked back, and my dignified body seemed even thinner.I am wild and unconstrained, and I am very relaxed.I, a young man with a queer conceit, in some nondescript position in the editorial office, felt at first so cool-headed, so conscious of being so different, that I was a cold mirror.When there are more and more people dancing, the scene becomes more and more lively, and the music can be heard.The entrance of the hall was crowded with people, the number of ladies gradually increased, and the air became dense and hot.I seem to be drunk, looking at women more and more presumptuously, looking at men more and more arrogantly, walking through the crowd more and more rhythmically, brushing other people's tuxedos or military uniforms, and asking them The apology became more and more polite, supercilious... After a while, I suddenly saw them. They were carefully squeezing into the crowd with smiles on their faces.My heart seemed to stop beating all of a sudden, and a sense of kindness, embarrassment, and surprise came to my heart at the same time: this is them, but it doesn't look like them.Especially Rika, her appearance has completely changed!At this moment, her youthful figure and delicate face always surprise me: the tight clothes show her figure.The dress she wore for the festival was as thin as a cicada's wings, making her look so chaste and flawless, her arms were exposed from the edge of the gloves to her shoulders, purple with cold, and her face still had an expression of lack of confidence... Only her hair was tied up like a courtesan Gao, has a special allure, but seems to be ready to get rid of me, betray me, and even prepare to have an affair with someone.Soon someone came up to her, bowed deeply to her hastily, as is customary at balls, and she handed the fan to Avelova, as if carelessly, and laid a hand on his On the shoulders, on tiptoes, spinning, hidden in the whirling crowd, noise and music.Somehow I was already watching her go with cold hostility, as if saying goodbye. Avelova also surprised me.She is petite and lively, always full of energy and good mood.She looked so young and beautiful at the ball.It was at the ball that it occurred to me one day that she was only twenty-six years old, and for the first time I hesitated to wonder why she had a strange change in her attitude towards me this winter—she might love me , born jealousy for me. ten Then we separated for a long time. That started when the doctor came unexpectedly. One fine and cold morning, when I walked into the front room of the editorial office, I suddenly smelled a strong smell of cigarettes that I was familiar with, and then heard people talking and laughing in the dining room.I stopped - what happened?The room was full of smoke, it turned out that the doctor was smoking, talking and laughing loudly with great interest.When people get old and live a stable life every year, they will talk like this.He is relaxed and happy, smokes all the time, and chatters.Now I panicked: What does the doctor's uninvited move mean?Is there anything I can tell her?How shall I enter, and how shall I behave and speak?In the first few minutes, nothing serious happened. I quickly calmed down and walked in, pretending to be surprised... The kind doctor was even a little embarrassed, and he hurriedly said with a sorry smile, He came from out of town "to stay for a week or so, to rest." I immediately noticed that Rika was very excited, and Avelova was also very excited for some reason.But I still hope that all this is because of the sudden arrival of the doctor.The doctor had just arrived in the provincial capital from the county seat. After staying up all night in the car, he was sitting in someone else's dining room drinking hot tea, and naturally he was in a particularly good mood.I started to feel relieved.At this moment, a blow fell on me.From what the doctor said, I suddenly guessed that he had come not alone, but with Bogomolov.Bogomolov is a well-known young rich leather businessman in our county, and he has long fallen in love with her.Then the doctor laughed and said: "Rika, he said that he fell in love with you, and he fell in love with you. This time he came here with all his might, and now the fate of this poor man is completely in your hands. If you are willing, it is a gift, if you are not, you can ruined his life..." Bogomolov is not only rich, but also very shrewd. He has a lively personality and is an optimist. He graduated from university, has been abroad, and can speak two foreign languages.At first glance, the appearance can startle people: a head of red hair, combed flat and ironed, with a straight path, a round and tender face, and a fat body that is out of shape—I don’t know if it looks like a deformed person with overnutrition. The big baby is still like a fat and smooth Yorkie pig.But the Yorkie was handsome, clean, strong, and even jovial.His eyes were like the blue sky, his cheeks were indescribably childishly rosy, and his speech, manner, voice, and smile all carried a shy and lovely air.He has small hands and feet, and his clothes are all English materials, socks, shirts, and ties are all made of silk.I glanced at her and saw her embarrassed smile... Everything around me suddenly became so strange and alienated to me, and myself in this house suddenly seemed so superfluous and cumbersome, which made me feel conflicted. her hatred... From then on, we couldn't be alone for an hour every day.She was always with her father and Bogomolov.Avilova also always had an unpredictable smile on her face. She entertained Bogomolov so hospitablely and thoughtfully that he became her family from the first day. It was late at night before going back to the hotel to spend the night.In addition, Rika's theater group is preparing to perform a play on Maslenitsa.Through Lika they recruited not only Bogomolov, but also the doctor to play a supporting role.丽卡解释说，为了父亲她听任博戈莫洛夫向她献殷勤，以免对博戈莫洛夫态度生硬而得罪父亲。我拼命克制自己，假装相信她的话，还强迫自己去看排演，竭力去掩饰心中强烈的忌妒以及他们给我带来的其它种种烦恼。我为她，为她可怜的“演戏”欲望而感到羞耻，真不知道让眼睛看哪儿才好。看这班人的蹩脚的表演简直是活受罪！指导排演的是一位失业的职业演员。他当然自认为才华出众，陶醉于一点可怜的舞台经验之中。这个人看不出有多大年纪，脸色好比油石灰，皱纹深得象是存心刻上去的。他指点这个指点那个，时时刻刻大发雷霆，粗鲁丽的狠地骂人，额角上的青筋暴露出来，象一股股绳子一般。他自己一会儿扮男角，一会儿扮女角，大家就尽力模仿他。这位演员你无论怎样宽宏大量都不堪忍受，模仿他的人就更加叫人受不了。他的每一个嗓音，每一个动作都在折磨着我。他们为什么要演戏，目的何在？在这些人中间，有一位瘦骨嶙峋、刚愎自用、果断胆大的团队夫人，这是每个省城里少不了的人物；有一位打扮得如花似玉的女郎，总是显得忐忑不安，若有所待，还染上爱咬嘴唇的陋习；还有闻名全城的姐妹俩，两人形影相随，相貌酷似，都是高挑身材，粗黑的头发，黑眉毛连成一线，不苟言笑，实在象是一对拉单辕车的黑马；还有一位高个的省长特派员，年纪不大，淡黄色的头发就已经谢顶了，红眼眶中鼓着一双蓝眼珠，衣领也高高的，讲究繁文缛节；再有一位地方上有名望的律师，身量高大魁梧，胸脯和肩胛厚实，双脚笨拙，每当我在舞会上看见他穿着燕尾服的时候，总把他误认作是侍役领班；再就是一位青年画家，穿一件黑丝绒短衫，披着印度教式的长发，蓄着山羊胡子，侧面相象山羊，半闭不合的眼睛和娇嫩鲜红的嘴唇露出女性的淫荡，女人一样的臀部看上去叫人怪难受的…… 后来，演出的日子到了。开幕前我钻到了后台，那儿的人都慌七慌八，穿衣的，化妆的，喊叫的，争吵的，从更衣室跑出跑进的，你撞我，我撞你，谁也不认得谁。他们的衣着是那么怪模怪样——有一个人甚至穿着褐色燕尾服和淡紫色长裤，假发和胡须是那么死板板的，额头和鼻子上糊着粉红色的贴片，上了油彩的脸缺乏表情，描过的眼睛闪着亮光，眼睫毛染得太黑太粗，就象本模特儿一样眨不动。我碰见丽卡，那副洋娃娃相叫我吃了一惊，同样认不出她来了。她身上穿着华丽的粉红色老式连衣裙，头上戴着厚厚的淡黄色假发，脸蛋既象民间板画上的美人，又象糖果盒上的娃娃……博戈莫洛夫扮演一个黄头发的守院子的人，按照塑造“生活典型”的要求，他们给他特别化了妆。而医生扮演老伯父，一个退役将军，剧就是从他开始的。在别墅里，光秃秃的地上立着一棵．木板做的绿树，他身穿崭新的丝绸上衣，脸上涂了粉红的油彩，乳白色的唇髭密密层层，坐在一把安乐椅中，仰靠着椅背，绷起脸瞧着一张摊开的报纸。别看布景是一个晴朗的夏日清晨，却有眩目的脚灯从下面照着他，使这个须发皆白的老人显得出奇的年轻。他应该看过报纸后说几句牢骚话，可是他死瞧着报纸，提示席上传来频繁的咝咝声，他还是什么也接不上来。只到最后，丽卡笑着从后台跳出来，扑到他背后，带着孩子般的顽皮和活泼可爱，两手捂住他的眼睛叫道：“你猜，我是谁？”这时，他才一板一眼地迸出一句：“松手，松手，你这个丫头，你是谁，我还不知道！” 大厅里若明若暗，舞台上却明亮耀眼，阳光灿烂。我坐在头排，时而看着舞台上，时而瞧瞧周围的人。最有钱的，胖得喘不过气来的文官和军衔赫赫的警察与军人，都坐在头排。他们仿佛都被舞台上的演出钉住了——神志紧张，笑意难尽……我连等到第一幕结束的耐性都没有，一听见台上咚地敲了一下，传来快要落幕的信号，就急急忙忙起身走了。此刻台上演得正起劲。走廊里，灯光明亮，气氛自然，一个对一切都习以为常的老侍役帮我穿好大衣。我听到演员们过分活泼的叫喊声，感到格外不自然。我终于奔到街上来了。一种在劫难逃的孤独感使我发狂。街上干干净净，冷冷清清，路灯发出凝滞不动的光。回到客栈我那窄小房间里呆着实在太可怕了，我没有回家，而走向编辑部。我经过机关区，拐到空旷的广场上。广场中央耸立着一座教堂，那微微放亮的金色圆顶消失在星空里……即便我的脚步踏在积雪上，那咯吱声也包含一种深奥而可怕的东西……温暖的屋子里温暖静寂，明亮的餐室里钟发出平静、缓慢的嘀嗒声。阿维洛娃的小儿子睡了，保姆出来为我开门，睡眼惺松地望了望我就走开了。我走进楼梯下面的那间房里，它对我来说太熟悉了，太特殊了。我摸黑在沙发上坐下，它也是熟悉的，此刻对我可又有某种不祥的成分……我期待，然而又害怕他们突然回来，他们会叽叽喳喳地走进屋，围坐在水壶旁，争先恐后地叙述各自的感想，更使我害怕的是传来她的欢声笑语的那一瞬间……我觉得房间里无处没有她的存在，充满了她在时和不在时的气氛，充满了她本人、她的衣裳、香水、搭在我身边沙发扶手上的柔软的宽服所散发的各种气味……窗外，深蓝深蓝的冬夜，阴森可怕，星光在花园中黑魆魆的树枝后面闪烁…… 斋戒的第一个星期，她跟父亲和博戈莫洛夫一起走了，她拒绝了他的要求，但我早已不和她讲话。她收拾东西准备上路，不停地啜泣，一直在盼我突然拦住她，不让她走。