Chapter 9 Nine

"'You'd be crazy not to treat people this way,' he murmured. 'You're not the first. But don't worry about it.'" From the way he whispered to me to comfort me, and seeing his kind and comforting eyes, I knew that I was very safe with him. "Two days later, the good doctor told me the whole story quite frankly. The guard heard me shouting in the cell, and at first he thought that someone had broken into my cell and I was talking to the But as soon as he showed himself at the door, I threw myself on him, yelling at him like, 'Go away, you scoundrel, you coward!' I was yelling that I wanted to grab his neck. In the end, I attacked him so fiercely that he had to yell for help. They dragged me to the doctor for a physical examination when I was furious. I suddenly broke free from them and jumped at him. The window in the hallway, with a blow that broke the pane and cut my hand at the same time - you see there are deep scars here. I spent the first few nights in the hospital completely feverish and unconscious, but now He thinks I'm fully sane.' Of course,' added the doctor softly, 'I'd better not report this to these gentlemen, or they'll take you back there at the end. Go. You can rest assured that I will do my best.'”

"What this helpful doctor reported about me to my tormentors I don't know. Anyway, he achieved what he wanted: set me free. Maybe he said I was insane, Perhaps in the meantime, I have become irrelevant to the Gestapo, because Hitler has occupied Bohemia, and the Austrian problem has been completely closed for him. So I only need to sign a pledge, in I will leave my home country within two weeks. In these two weeks I have been busy going through thousands of formalities, which is what a former citizen of the world must go through when traveling abroad—to obtain certificates from military agencies and police stations, to Paying taxes, obtaining passports, exit visas, and health certificates. As a result, I have no time to think about the past. It seems that there are some mysterious forces in our brains that are regulating and automatically put those things that are important to our hearts. What would become harmful and dangerous, because every time I tried to recall the time I spent in the cell, my mind was confused. Until a few weeks later, it was really said that I was on this ship. After that, I regained the courage to think about what happened to me.

① Bohemia is the old name of Czech Republic. ②The doctor told this story shortly after Germany invaded and occupied Austria, so saying "today" means that the time is very near. "Now you will understand why I behaved so inappropriately and inexplicably in front of your friends. I just happened to wander into the smoking room and saw your friends sitting at the chessboard playing chess. I couldn't help feeling, From surprise and fear, my feet seemed to be rooted and nailed there. Because I had completely forgotten that it was possible to sit at a real chessboard and play chess with real pieces. I forgot all about it When playing chess, there are two completely different people sitting face to face. It really took me a few minutes to remember that what these chess players were doing there, in the final analysis, was that I was at a loss. For months, I tried to play the game with myself as an opponent. The letters and numbers I used in my painstaking practice were really only substitutes for these bony pieces. symbols. I was surprised to find that the movement of the chess pieces on the board was the same as the movement of the chess pieces in my mind. This surprise is probably similar to that of astronomers: astronomers use extremely complicated methods on paper. Calculating the position of a new planet, and looking up, I found a bright, solid star in the sky. As if attracted by a magnet, I stared at the chessboard and saw my diagram—what Knights, bishops, kings, queens, and pawns became real chess pieces there, all carved out of wood. In order to see the overall position, I first had to transfer these pieces from the abstract chessboard replaced by numbers to A real chessboard, flexible, with pieces moving back and forth. Curiosity gradually overwhelmed me, and I wanted to see such a real chess game with two players facing each other. Then the unpleasant thing happened: I forgot All manners interfered with your chess game. But your friend's wrong move pierced my heart like a knife. I stopped him, it was purely an instinctive action, an impulsive move , just like people who see a child leaning over the railing will grab him without thinking. It was not until later that I clearly realized how rude I was in such a presumptuous manner."

I hastened to assure Dr. B. how glad we all were to be acquainted with him through this chance incident, and that it seemed to me, after hearing what he had just told me, that if tomorrow at this impromptu meeting It will be doubly interesting to see him play chess during the game. Dr. B made an awkward movement. "Don't be like this, please really don't expect too much from me. This game is just a test for me,...try, can I... can I really play a normal game of chess? Play chess on a real chessboard with specific pieces against a living person... because I am now more and more doubtful whether the hundreds, maybe thousands of games I have played are really played according to the rules Chess, not just a dream chess, fever chess, a game played during a fever, as in a dream, where many intermediate stages are skipped. But I hope you didn't really ask me for such a luxury, asking me to think arrogantly that I can challenge a chess master, or even the number one seed in the world. What interests me, secretly attracts me, is just a curiosity after the fact I want to decide whether what I was doing in the cell was playing chess, or was I already mad, and whether I was right in front of a dangerous reef, or whether I had already passed this dangerous reef. That's all, No other purpose."

At this moment a gong sounded from the stern, beckoning the passengers to supper.We talked for about two hours. Dr. B tells his story in much more detail than I can summarize here.I thanked him sincerely and took my leave.But after I had walked a few steps along the deck, he chased after him again, and added a few words obviously restlessly, even stammering: "One more thing! Please make it clear to these gentlemen in advance, so that I will not appear rude: I only play... this game of chess is only to write off the old account--to complete the past, Not to start all over again....I don't want to fall into this fierce chess mania again, I always shudder when I think about it...Besides...Besides, the doctor warned me at the time...Warned me very clearly. Every People who have suffered from paranoia are permanently damaged. People who have had 'chess poisoning', even if they have been cured, had better not go near the chessboard... so you know what I mean - just play this game for I'll do a test myself, and I won't play any more."

At three o'clock in the afternoon the next day, we all gathered in the smoking room on time at the appointed time.Our group has added two more chess enthusiasts. These are two officers on the ship. They asked for leave from work to watch this game.Czentovic wasn't as late as he was the day before.After the colors of the pieces had been chosen according to the rules, the memorable match of Homo obscurissimus ① against the famous world champion began.It is a pity that this game of chess is only played for us spectators who have no judgment at all. The progress of the chess game is lost forever to the chess yearbook, just like Beethoven's piano impromptus are to music.It was in vain, though we all tried together in the next few afternoons to restore the game from memory; perhaps we paid too much attention to the two players as the game was going on than to the game itself.For that intellectual difference in the manners of the two opponents became more and more apparent as the game progressed.Czentovic, the experienced player, remained motionless throughout this time like a rock, his eyes downcast and intently fixed on the chessboard; in him meditation seemed to be a physical Push hard, forcing all his organs to be highly concentrated. Dr. B, on the other hand, has a relaxed, chic demeanor and an air of grace.From the most elegant meaning of the word dilettant, when playing games, one should get dilett② and be happy, so the doctor, as a true amateur, his body is completely relaxed, at the beginning Between moves, he chatted with us, explained, lit a cigarette briskly, and only looked at the board for a minute when it was his turn to move.He gave people this impression every time, as if the opponent's chess moves were in his expectation.

① Latin: Anonymous. ② Italian: happy, happy.