Chapter 8 Variety of Variations (4)

①Numidia: The name of the ancient country in North Africa, which means the northern part of Algeria. ②Hykeronea: the name of a city in central Greece, the hometown of Plutarch.In the 4th century BC, two major battles were fought here. ③ Elakis: The port city of Elakis in ancient Greece.In the 7th century BC, it was incorporated into Athens and became a place to worship the primitive god of agriculture. I had been governor of Syria for a year when Trajan came to Antioche.He had come to oversee the implementation of the plan for an expedition to Armenia, which, in his mind, was a prelude to an attack on the Parthians.Plotina was with him, as usual, and his niece, my generous mother-in-law, Matidia, who had been at his side in the army for many years as housekeeper.My old enemies Celsus, Parma, and Negrinus are still serving in the Senate and also in charge of the General Staff.The whole party was assembled in the palace, waiting for the expedition.The court conspiracy began to intensify again.Before the first few dice of the war were rolled, everyone was playing their tricks.

In the northern direction, the army moved almost immediately.I saw a huge stream of high officials, careerists, and useless people drifting away with this army.The Emperor and his retinue stayed a few days at Commagini to take part in the festivities which had already begun.The monarchs of some small eastern countries gathered in Satara, scrambling to express their loyalty. If I were Trajan, I would not believe in this kind of loyalty.Lykius Geetus, my dangerous rival, was ordered to command the vanguard, and in a great military operation took the surrounding area of ​​Lake Wang.Northern Mesopotamia, plundered by the Patiki, was annexed without difficulty.Abgar, king of Royna, surrendered at Edessa.In the winter the Emperor returned to Antioches and camped, postponing the invasion of the Parthian Empire until the spring, but he was determined not to accept any proposal of peace.Everything went according to his plan.The excitement of finally being in the midst of this much-postponed adventure gave the 64-year-old a certain youthful vigor.

①Komagini: The name of an ancient province located in the northeast of Syria and east of Capasidoa. ②Edessa: Upper Mesodia = the name of the ancient city of Damia, the capital of Russia, and later became a colony of ancient Rome.There were nine kings in the country, called Ashgar, who ruled from 92 BC to 216 BC. My forecast is tinged with gloom.Jews and Arabs became increasingly hostile to the war.The great proprietors of the provinces were indignant at the various expenses which had to be paid when the troops passed by.Towns are struggling with the imposition of new taxes.Immediately after the Emperor's return came the first disaster, which foreshadowed all the others: a sudden earthquake at midnight on December 1, which in a short time shattered the town of Antioche. One of them was destroyed.Trajan was wounded by a falling beam, but he heroically continued to tend the wounded.Several of his personal entourage died.The people of Syria immediately pursued those responsible for this disaster: the emperor abandoned his principle of tolerance this time, made a big mistake, and ordered his subordinates to massacre a group of Christians.I have no sympathy for the sect myself, but the sight of old men beaten with canes and children tortured is deeply unsettling, and makes this ominous winter all the more eerie.Immediate compensation for the damage caused by the earthquake was impossible due to lack of money.Thousands of homeless people can only sleep in the square at night. I visited the square a few times, and I found that there was a lot of resentment and hatred lurking, and the dignitaries who poured into the palace didn't even feel it.The emperor continued to prepare for the next battle in this large area of ​​ruins: entire forests were felled, and the timber was used to erect pontoon bridges and barges across the Tigris River.He joyfully accepted a series of new titles bestowed upon him by the Senate.He was eager to end the war in the east and return to Rome with his troops.At the slightest delay, he flew into a fit of rage, furious.

This man pacing restlessly to and fro in the vast halls of the palace formerly built by the Seleucids, which I myself (what a nuisance!) adorned him with inscriptions of praise and Dacia's weapons. Man, not the same man who welcomed me at the Cologne barracks some 20 years ago.Even his character has become "old".His somewhat clumsy joviality, which had formerly masked a genuine kindness, was now corny and trite.His firmness turned into stubbornness.His ability to focus on the present and to be practical turned into a complete refusal to think.His affectionate respect for the queen, and his loving rebuke to his niece Matidia turned into an old-age dependence on these two women, but his advice to them became less and less listenable.His frequent attacks of liver disease worried his doctor Crichton, but he himself did not take the disease to heart.His carnal pleasures are always lacking in skill.The level of these enjoyments also declines with age.At the end of the day, it did not matter that the emperor indulged in the lascivious places of the barracks in the company of young men whom he thought lovely or handsome, but if he drank too much and could not handle it, if the gang was getting worse and worse. It is too much of a problem that a mediocre subordinate, selected from and manipulated by surreptitious freed slaves, should have the opportunity to attend every conversation I have with him and to report the contents of my conversations to my opponents. .During the day, I saw the Emperor only at the meetings of the General Staff, which were too busy discussing the details of the battle plan to express a free opinion.At other times he avoided private conversation.Alcohol provided many crude cunning for the less perceptive.His old sensibility was gone: he insisted on my participation in his entertainments; youthful uproar, laughter, and the dullest jokes were always welcome, as if it were a means of implying that I was not talking business now. he watches for the moment when one more drink will get me drunk.Everything in this hall revolves around me, and even the head of the aurochs looted from the barbarians seems to be laughing at me to my face.Drink one jar after another.The DL, from time to time, yelled out a few lines of a drunken song, or burst into the wanton laughter of a young attendant.The emperor supported the table with a hand that was shaking more and more, drunk and in a trance, detached from everything in front of him, placed on the avenue of Asia, and fell into deep thought...

① Seleucids: The people who ruled Syria in ancient times. ② Cattle: Bovine is an animal that is now extinct. Unfortunately, these musings are wonderful.I had the same meditations before, and they made me want to leave everything behind, cross the Caucasus, follow the Northern Highway, and head for Asia.The hallucinations in which the aged Emperor somnambulistically indulged Alexander had had before him, and had almost fulfilled them, and died of them at the age of thirty.Still, the greatest danger to these grand schemes is their wisdom: as usual, there are plenty of practical reasons to justify the absurd and drive people to do the impossible.We have been worrying about the East for centuries.It seemed logical to solve this problem once and for all.Our food exchanges with India and the mysterious Silk Country depended entirely on Jewish merchants and Arab exporters, who enjoyed duty-free access to Parthian ports and roads.Once the vast and unstable hold of the Knights of Arthasis is completely destroyed, we will have direct access to the rich states of the century.Asia, which would eventually be united, would be yet another province for Rome.Alexandria in Egypt is the only port on our way to India that does not depend on Parthian sincerity.There, too, we were constantly restricted and resisted by the Jewish tribes.Had Trajan's expedition been successful, we might have left this dubious city alone.But such reasons never convinced me.Some sensible commercial treaty would have made me happier, and I had already glimpsed the possibility of a second Greek port city on the Red Sea coast to diminish the role of Alexandria, which I did, Antinoe was built.I am beginning to understand the complex world of Asia.Simple plans of total extermination, which had succeeded in Dacia, would not work in this region of more numerous and firmly rooted peoples, on which, besides, the wealth of the world depended.Beyond the Euphrates, for us, there are dangers and miracles, quicksand that traps people, and roads that suddenly cut off and lead nowhere.A slight setback may lead to the consequences of shaking prestige, and all kinds of disasters will follow.The question is not merely of winning, but of winning consistently, and our strengths will be exhausted in the enterprise.We have already tried the cause. A barbarian king who knew a little about Hellenism, on the night of his victory over us, used the head of Crassus as a Throwing it around like a ball, I can't help but feel terrified when I think of it.Trajan has always wanted to avenge this failure, and I especially want to prevent it from happening again.I foresee the future with a certain degree of accuracy, but it is possible after all if I have a good deal of material about the present: a few insignificant victories will push our soldiers who have rashly drawn from other frontier areas too far; The emperor will win the honor, and those of us who will live will bear the responsibility of solving all problems and healing all wounds.

Caesar had a reason for preferring first place in a village than second place in Rome.Not out of ambition, or out of vanity, but because the second man has only the choice between the danger of obedience, the danger of rebellion, and, still more seriously, the danger of compromise.I wasn't even number two in Rome.On the verge of setting off on a dangerous expedition, the emperor had not yet named his successor: every step forward offered an opportunity to the chiefs of the general staff.At this point, I feel almost naive and more complicated than myself.Only his rude behavior reassured me: the irascible Emperor treats me like a son.At other times, once they can do without my services, I am ready to be sidelined by Parma or killed by Ertus.I had no power: I could not even secure a seat at the Antioche Jewish court as an influential member.The members of the court shared our fears of being attacked by Jewish rioters, and may have made clear to Trajan the plots of their brethren.My friend Tinius Alexander was born of an ancient royal family in Asia Minor, whose name and fortune were very important, but not many people listened to him. Pliny, who had been sent to Bithynia four years before, had not had time to report to the emperor the exact state of the state of mind and revenue there—assuming his irreparable optimism permitted him to do so—died. in there.The Lydian merchant Pramoas, although well versed in Asian affairs, was ridiculed by Palma for his secret reports.Whenever the emperor got drunk at night, the next day, the liberated slaves would excuse me from entering the emperor's bedchamber under the pretext of his illness: one of the emperor's orderlies named Fodim is quite honest, But he was very slow, and he went against me specifically, turning me away twice.However, my enemy, the consul Celsus, shut himself up with the emperor for several hours one evening, after which I considered myself finished.I tried my best to find allies for myself.I bribed former slaves with great sums of money whom I had been very tempted to send to the hiding-ships.I stroked their hideous curly heads.Neha Jiangen recalled that Cheng Erwa's diamond ring no longer emitted a glimmer of light.But at this moment, Plotina, the wisest of my patron saints, appeared before me.I have known the Queen for almost 20 years.We are from the same class.I am almost the same age.I have seen her live a life with peace of mind almost as oppressed as mine, and more hopeless.During my difficult times, she supported me without seeming aware that she was doing so.But it was in Antioche's unlucky life that her presence was as necessary to me as her respect has been since then, and I enjoyed it until her death. respect.I am used to seeing this figure in plain clothes (the simplest clothes a woman can wear), used to her silence and her measured words.She speaks only to answer, and as succinctly as possible.In this palace, which was older than the splendid buildings of Rome, her appearance would never appear out of harmony: this woman who came from a noble family was worthy of the descendants of the Seleucids.We both agree on almost everything.We both like to fill up and then empty out our hearts and put our minds to the test.She tends to the philosophy of Epicurus, a small but clean bed in which I sometimes let my thoughts rest.The mysteries of the gods that haunted me so often did not disturb her.Nor did she have my wild interest in the flesh.She was chaste and dignified through her aversion to frivolity, and generous because she was determined rather than natural.She is bright and suspicious, but ready to put up with everything about a friend, even his inevitable mistakes.Friendship was a choice she threw herself into, she immersed herself in it, just as I made only choices about love.She knows me better than anyone.

① Epicurus: (about 341-270 BC) an ancient Greek philosopher, a well-known materialist and atheist in the late Greek period. I let her see what I was more careful to hide from everyone else, such as inner cowardice.I like to believe that she has almost everything to say to me.There was never any physical intimacy between us, but the contact of two souls closely connected made up for it.Our tacit agreement requires no confession, no explanation, no reservation: the facts themselves are enough.She observed these facts more clearly than I did.Her smooth brow, concealed by the heavy braids required by fashion, is a judge].She remembered everything accurately in her mind.Unlike me, she doesn't hesitate, or make hasty decisions.She can spot my most hidden enemies at a glance.She judged my supporters with measured indifference.Fact two, we may be said to be accomplices, but the most trained eyes and ears can hardly discern the signs of tacit understanding between us.In my presence, she never complained about the emperor, nor pardoned him or praised him, and she would never commit such gross or subtle mistakes.On my part, there is no question of my integrity.Artianus, fresh from Rome, immediately attended these meetings, which sometimes lasted all night, but nothing seemed to tire the composed and fragile woman.She succeeded in getting my former protector appointed private councilor, thus sidelining my enemy Celsus, either because Netra really didn't trust it, or because no one could be found to replace me in the rear position, I will stay in Antioche: I rely on them both to learn all that the briefing cannot tell me.In the event of an accident, they can gather around me some of the loyalists in the army.My opponents will have to dine at the same table with this gouty old man (whose death will only do me good) and this woman who can claim to endure the hardships of a soldier's life for a long time.

I watched them recede: the emperor on horseback, steadfast and composed; The soldiers were mixed together.As soon as the leader arrived, the army that had camped for the winter on the banks of the Euphrates broke out: the Battle of Parthia had really begun.The first news was encouraging: Babylon had been conquered, the Tigris had been crossed, Ctesiphon had fallen.As usual, everything submits to the man's amazing control.The Arabian king Zarakina bowed his head and surrendered, thus opening the entire channel of the Tigris River to the Roman fleet: the emperor took a boat directly to the port of Charax at the end of the Persian Gulf.He has reached the amazing coastal regions.My worries were always there, but I hid them like a crime.It's a mistake to think you're doing it right too soon.Above all I have doubts about myself: I am guilty of having this base doubt that prevents us from acknowledging the greatness of a man we know too well.I forgot that some people can move the milestones of fate and change history.I blasphemed the emperor's genius.I agonize over my position.In the event of an accident, will I be cleared? Anything is easier than prudence, so I have a desire to put on the chain armor I wore during the Sarmat War, and use Pulo Under the influence of Tina, he was recalled to the army.I envy the most humble soldiers among our soldiers, envy that they can be exposed to the dust of the Asian road, and envy them that they can be attacked by the Persian armored battalion.This time, the Senate voted for the emperor to have the right to celebrate, not a single victory, but successive victories to be won during his lifetime.I also did what I had to do: I arranged ceremonies; I went to the summit of Cassius to make sacrifices.

Suddenly, the flames of war broke out everywhere, and the flames of war burned all over the land in the east.Some Jewish merchants refused to pay taxes to the Seleucid Kingdom.There was an immediate revolt in Cyrene, where the Greeks were massacred by the Orientals.The road that carried the wheat from Egypt to our army was cut off by a band of Zealots in Jerusalem.In Cyprus, the Greek and Roman permanent staff were captured by the Jewish people and forced to kill each other in the arena.I succeeded in maintaining order in Syria, but I vaguely saw the anger in the eyes of the beggars sitting at the door of various synagogues, and the silent grin on the thick lips of the camel drivers. In short, it was A hatred we don't deserve.From the beginning, Jews and Arabs united against a war that would destroy their commerce, but Israel used the war against a force of its religious fanaticism, its unique rituals, and its gods A world that excludes it.The emperor hastened back to Babylon, and sent Geetus to punish the rebellious cities: Cyrene, Edessa, Seleukia; To punish a mutiny brewed during desert caravan breaks or planned in the Jewish Quarter.Later, on a tour of these cities awaiting reconstruction, I walked under crumbling columns and among rows of crumbling statues.Emperor Oslores, who had provided supplies for these rebels, immediately took the offensive.Abgar rose up and returned to Edessa, which had been reduced to ashes.Our Armenian allies, whom Trajan believed to be reliable, came to the aid of the governors of the provinces.The emperor was suddenly in the center of a vast battlefield, and had to fight on all sides.

He wasted a winter in siege of Hatra.The siege of the city, an almost impregnable fortress in the midst of a great desert, cost the lives of thousands of our troops.His stubbornness became more and more a form of personal courage: the sick man was unwilling to let things go.I learned from Plotina that, despite a brief episode of paralysis, Trajan, in spite of this ominous omen, persisted in not appointing his successor.If this imitator of Alexander also died of fever or excessive indulgence in some unclean place in Asia, the foreign war would be complicated by a civil war.Between my supporters and those of Celsus or Parma there will be a struggle to the death.Suddenly asked, the message was almost completely cut off.The thin line of communication between the emperor and me is maintained only by a band of Numinians controlled by my worst enemies.It was during this period that I first ordered my doctor to mark my heart in red ink on my chest: Once the worst happens, I will never fall alive to Lycius-Kieux Tus hands.I have to be responsible for my job.There is also the arduous task of appeasement to maintain the frontier islands and provinces, but the exhausting work of the day pales in comparison to the long hours of insomnia at night.All the problems of the empire weighed on me at the same time, but my own problems seemed even heavier.I want the power to enforce my plans, to try my cure, to restore peace, and above all, to be "myself" before I die.

I'm about to turn 40.If I die at this time, I will only leave a name on the list of dignitaries and a Greek inscription as the Athenian consul. After that, whenever I see a middle-aged man, the public thinks he can When the man who accurately judged his merits and demerits died young, I remembered that at this age, I existed only in the eyes of myself and a few friends, and these friends might sometimes treat me too. Doubt, as I doubt myself.I see that very few men realize themselves before they die: I value their interrupted careers with greater sympathy.This obsession with losing my life made my mind freeze at one point, fixed like an abscess.My coveting of political power is like a love affair. As long as certain rituals are completed, my lover will not think about food, sleep, sleep, food, thinking, or even love.The most pressing tasks seemed futile, as I was forbidden to make decisions that would affect the future in my capacity as master.I needed to be convinced that I could rule in order to regain my interest in being useful.This palace at Antioche, in which I shall live for some years in a certain blissful frenzy.But for me, Lanshi is nothing more than a prison, maybe a death row.I sent letters to the oracle to the Temple of Jupiter-Amun, Castalia, and the Temple of Zeus at Dorisena.I summoned the Three Kings.I even had a condemned prisoner fetched from the dungeon in Antioche, and had a sorcerer wipe his neck in my presence, in the hope that his soul, in the moment of life and death, would The wandering soul reveals the future to me.The poor wretch escaped a longer mortal struggle, but none of my questions were answered.At night, I walked up and down the various halls of this palace whose walls were still full of cracks due to the earthquake, walked through door openings, and walked from one balcony to another, drawing astrology everywhere on the bluestone slab. Figure, questioning the twinkling stars.But the omens of the future must be looked for in the earth.The emperor finally withdrew from the siege of Hatra and decided to re-cross the Euphrates River that should not have been crossed.The hot weather, coupled with the harassment of Parthian archers, made the painful withdrawal all the more tragic.On a steamy night in May, I went out of the city gates to the banks of the Orontes to meet the detachment suffering from fever, anxiety and fatigue, including the sick emperor, Artianus and some women.Trajan insisted on riding straight to the palace gates.He could barely sit still.This dynamic man seemed more transformed than others by the approach of death.Crichton and Matidia helped him up the stone steps, helped him into the house and lay down, and waited by his bed. ① Amon: Egyptian humanoid bull-headed god whose temple is located in the Libyan desert. ②Castalia: A spring in the foothills of Parnassus, named after Castalia, a fairy in the mountains and forests, who drowned in it to avoid Apollo's pursuit. ③ Three Kings: Also known as the Three Kings of the East and the Doctor of the East.According to the Gospel of Matthew, when Jesus was born.A group of doctors saw the alien star in the east, followed the alien star to Jerusalem to find the new king, and asked the King of Judea where the new king was born.Knowing that the new king should be in Bethlehem, he went there, found Jesus and Mary, fell down on the ground, and presented three gifts of yellow amp, frankincense, and myrrh.According to the number of gifts recorded in the "Bible", later generations presumed that it was named after three people. Artianus and Plotina told me some of the battles which they failed to mention in their short briefs.One of these accounts moved me so deeply that I have imprinted it in my personal memory as a symbol of my own.As soon as he arrived at Chalaks, the tired emperor sat down on the beach facing the turbid waters of the Persian Gulf.At that time, he still had no doubts about victory, but because he realized the vastness of the world and his advanced age, and also realized that each of us is limited by various limits, for the first time in his life. Feel powerless for the first time.Big tears streamed down the wrinkled face of a man who was thought never to cry.The commander who carried the Roman eagle to the hitherto unexplored coast knew that he would never sail the long-awaited sea: India, Bactriana, and his This whole strange place, intoxicated in a faraway place, would always be just names and dreams to him.The next day, a series of bad news forced him to go back on the road.Whenever I am also being teased by fate, I think of these weeping on a distant seaside one night by this old man who may be facing up to his life for the first time. The next morning, I went to the emperor's palace.I feel like I have a father-son relationship, a brotherhood with him.A man who, like every soldier under his command, lived, thought everything, and was always proud of it, but at last fell into utter solitude: he lay in bed, going on brooding about things that no one was interested in anymore. grand plan.As usual, his dry and rude language belittled his thinking.He spoke to me with great difficulty of the triumph which had been prepared for him in Rome.He denies failure as he denies death.Two days later, his illness relapsed again.I resumed my worried secret business with Artianus and Plotina.The empress is far-sighted, and has just referred my old friend to the totalitarian position of commander-in-chief of the Guards, thus placing the Royal Guards under our command.Fortunately, Mattidia, who has never left the emperor's sickbed, obeyed me.Besides, this simple and gentle woman has no independent opinions and is completely in Plotina's hands.However, none of us dared to remind the emperor that the question of succession was still hanging there.Perhaps, like Alexander, he made up his mind not to personally appoint his successor.Perhaps, he had made a promise to Geetus' faction that only he knew.To put it bluntly, he refuses to contemplate the end of the world: in the family, one can see that some stubborn old people did not leave a will.It's not for them to guard to the end a treasure or empire that their stiff fingers have half-abandoned, but to prematurely put themselves in a post-mortem situation, since they no longer have to make a decision and cause no surprise , without threats or promises to the living.I pity him: our differences are too great for him to see that I am the docile heir pre-tained with the same style, and even with the same mistakes, and not most people who have exercised totalitarian power at the end of their lives. The kind of successor he was desperately looking for all the time.However, there are no politicians around him, and I am the only person he can accept without violating his duties as a good official and a great king. So this king who is used to judging the quality of service is almost forced to accept me. of.Besides, it's an excellent reason to hate me.His health is gradually recovering, and he can leave the room and go for a walk outdoors.He was talking about launching a new campaign again, but he didn't believe it himself.Crichton, his physician, worried that he would not be able to bear the heat, finally succeeded in persuading him to let him sail back to Rome.The night before his departure he summoned me to the ship on which he was to be sent back to Italy, and appointed me commander-in-chief in his place.His assurances only ended there, and the most important thing was that I violated the orders I had received and immediately started secret peace negotiations with Oslores.I pinned my hope on the fact that I would no longer have to report to the Emperor.Less than 10 days later, I was woken up in the middle of the night, saying that a messenger had arrived: I immediately recognized the person as a confidant of Plotina.He brought me two letters.One was official, telling me that Trajan, unable to bear the rough seas, landed at Selinus in Cilicia, and was too ill to stay with a merchant.The other letter was confidential, informing me of his death, which Plotina promised me to conceal for as long as possible, thus giving me the advantage of being the first to be notified.After taking all necessary measures to maintain the stability of the Syrian garrison, I set off for Selinus at once.As soon as I set out on the road, another messenger arrived and formally notified me of the emperor's death.The emperor's will appointing me as his successor has been sent to Rome by a reliable person. For 10 years, everything that has been fanatically dreamed about, planned, fought for, or kept silent, has been condensed into two short lines written in Greek by a firm and strong hand in a woman's slender handwriting. letterhead.Artianus, who waited for me on the quay of Selinus, was the first person to salute me since I became emperor. It was here, between the time that the sick man embarked and his death, that a chain of events took place which I shall never be able to recover, and upon which my fate was built.These few days Artianus and several women spent in the merchant's house.In the end my life was determined, but these few days were for me like the afternoon I spent on the Nile, precisely because it would be necessary for me to find out, but always It's not clear what's going on.Even the idlers in Rome had an opinion about these episodes of my life, but I don't know much about them.My enemies accuse Plotina of taking advantage of the Emperor's death to draw up the lines which hand over power to me.Some of the cruder detractors even describe Dr. Crichton dictating Trajan's last wishes in the dim light of a draped bed, imitating the voice of the dead.It was also pointed out that it was a strange coincidence that Fodim, the herald who hated me, and whose silence my friends might not have bribed him to silence, suddenly, on the day after his master's death, He developed a high fever and died.In these scenes of violence and intrigue, I do not know that there is something that shocks the public imagination, even mine.Even if a few honest men might go to extremes for my sake, and if the queen's devotion might drive her far, I would not be offended.The queen knew how much danger the country would suffer if she did not make up her mind.I have a great deal of respect for her, and I believe she would have consented to the requisite deceit if reason, common sense, the public interest, and friendship had prompted her to do so.Since then, I have clung to the document that has aroused the furious displeasure of my opponents: I cannot affirm or deny the veracity of this dying dictation of a patient.Of course, I would prefer this to be the case: Trajan himself put aside his personal prejudices on his deathbed.Sincerely handing over the Empire to whoever he thought would be best for it anyway.But it must be admitted that in this matter, for me, the end is more important than the means: the point is that the person who came to power later proved himself qualified to exercise that power.The body was cremated on the coast shortly after my arrival, at the same time as a great funeral may have been taking place in Rome.This extremely simple ceremony, held at dawn, was but the last episode in the women's long service to Trajan himself, and was hardly attended.Mattidia wailed loudly and burst into tears.Plotina's features were blurred by the quivering air around the pyre.她安详，冷漠，双颊因发烧而有点塌陷，像往常一样明显地难以捉摸。阿蒂亚努斯和克里顿注视着让尸体完全烧透。一小缕轻烟在清晨灰白的空气中消散，没有一点黑影。我的朋友中谁也没有重提皇上病逝前那几天发生的事情。很明显，他们的口号是沉默不语。我19己的口号是不提危险性的问题。 当天，皇上遗孀及其亲信们登船返回罗马。我回到昂蒂奥什，沿途受到各军团的热烈欢呼。我内心保持着一种异乎寻常的平静：野心，还有恐惧，似乎已成过去了的噩梦。无论发生什么事情，我始终决心捍卫我当皇帝的机缘，但收养文书将一切都简单化了。我不再操心自己的命运：我又可以去考虑其他的人了。