Chapter 32 Chapter 04

For several minutes none of us said a word.Natasha sat thoughtfully, sad and sad.She seemed to be overwhelmed.She looked straight ahead, grasped Alyosha's hand, and seemed to be in a trance, seeing nothing. Alyosha was still weeping sadly with tearful eyes, and looked at her curiously and timidly from time to time. He finally began to comfort her timidly, begging her not to be angry, saying that it was his fault; it was obvious that he wanted to excuse his father very much, and he kept thinking about it; several times he wanted to speak, but I dare not understand clearly Say it out, for fear of making Natasha angry again.He swore to her that he would love her forever, would not change his mind, and vehemently defended his affection for Katya; he kept saying that he loved Katya only as a younger sister, as a lovely good sister,

He couldn't ignore her completely. If he did so, it would be rude and cruel. He also repeatedly advised Natasha that if she could get to know Katya, they would hit it off and never separate. Then she won't have any misunderstanding .He beamed brightly at the thought.This poor little guy didn't lie at all.He did not understand what Natasha was worried about, in short, he did not understand at all what she had just said to his father.The only thing he understood was that they were arguing No, it was this that weighed on his heart like a stone and made him feel particularly uncomfortable.

"I'm so rude to your father, don't you blame me?" Natasha asked. "How can I blame you?" he replied with a bitter feeling. "I'm the cause of all this, and it's my fault! It's me who made you so angry; and you blame him when you're angry." because you tried to excuse me; you always Speak for me, but I'm not worthy.A scapegoat had to be found, so you assumed it was him.And he, really, he was innocent! cried Alyosha, speaking more and more vigorously. "That's why he came here!"How could he have such an idea! " But seeing Natasha looking at him sadly and reproachfully, he was immediately frightened again.

"Well, I won't say it, I won't say it, please forgive me," said he, "I am the cause of it all!" "Yes, Alyosha," she went on, with a heavy feeling, "and now he has passed among us, and has broken all our peace, and we will never have it in this life. In the past, you believe me, always More than trusting anyone, now Now, he injected doubt and distrust of me into your heart, you started to blame me, he took half of your heart away from me.A black cat ran between us①. " "Don't say that, Natasha. Why did you say 'black cat'?" He broke down at this.

"He has seduced you with hypocrisy and false magnanimity," Natasha continued, "and now he will do more to turn you against me." "I swear to you: no!" Alyosha cried even more fervently. "He said 'we are in a hurry' in anger—you will see with your own eyes, tomorrow, in just two days." Well, he'll come to his senses, if he's mad, really If you don't agree with our marriage, then I swear to you, I will never listen to him.Maybe I have the courage... Do you know who will help us both," he exclaimed cheerfully at the thought, "Katya will help us both!You can

See, you'll see, what a man this is!You'll see if she wants to be your rival in love and tear us apart!You said just now that I am the kind of person who likes the new and dislikes the old the second day after marriage, how unreasonable what you said!I How sad it was to hear this!No, I'm not that kind of person, even though I often go to see Katya..." "Well, Alyosha, go see her whenever you want. That's not what I was talking about. You didn't quite understand. You can be with anyone, as long as you are happy. I can't ask you. My heart gives me more than it can give...

..." Mavra came in. "What's the matter, do you want tea? The samovar has been on for two hours, no joke; it's eleven o'clock." When she asked this, she was rude and very angry; she could see that she was in a very bad mood. Well, I'm mad at Natasha.The problem is that this For several days, starting from Tuesday, she has been very happy, because her young lady (who loves her very much) is going to get married, and she has made the whole apartment know, whether it is the surrounding neighbors or the small shop that sells things , and even the gatekeeper, almost

No one knows.She boasted and triumphantly said that the Duke was an important person, a general, and very rich, and he actually came to propose to her young lady in person, and that she, Mavra, had heard it with her own ears, but all of a sudden, now ,one Everything was gone.The duke left in a huff.No food was served, needless to say, it was all due to the miss.Mafra heard it, and she was not at all respectful when she spoke to him. "That's fine... go ahead," Natasha replied. ①Western customs: Refers to discord and discord between two people. "So, will the cold cuts be served?"

"Well, let's serve cold cuts too," Natasha felt very uncomfortable. "I've been preparing for several days!" Mavra continued, "I've been running and breaking my leg since yesterday. I went to Nevsky Prospekt to buy wine, so it's fine now..." She slammed angrily He closed the door with a bang and walked out. Natasha blushed, she gave me a strange look, and then the tea was served, followed by cold cuts; game, fish, and Yeliseev's good wine. "I have prepared so many things, why? "I think. "You see, Vanya, what's the trouble with me," said Natasha, going to the table, feeling ashamed even in my presence. "I expected that today would be like this, but I always thought, maybe, maybe, it won't end like this. Ah

When Liao Sha came, he began to reconcile, and we made up again; it turned out that all my doubts were unreasonable, and they let me dispel my doubts, so... just to be sure, I prepared some food.I thought maybe we'd sit down Come, let's have a heart-to-heart talk..." Poor Natasha!When she said this, her face was flushed.Alyosha became very happy. "Look, Natasha!" he cried, "you don't believe in yourself; two hours ago you didn't believe in your own doubts! No, all this should be righted up; I was wrong, it was all my fault , so everything should be changed by me. Nata

Sha, let me go to my father immediately!I must see him at once; he is angry, he has been wronged; he must go and comfort him, and I will tell him to speak out all that is in his heart, and I will speak out of everything, all by myself; you.I'll take care of everything... Don't be mad at me for leaving you in such a hurry to see him; it's not like that at all: I pity him; he'll prove his innocence to you; You'll see... Tomorrow, at dawn, I'll To see you, and to stay with you all day, not to see Katya..." Natasha didn't stop him, and even sent him herself.What she was most worried about was that Alyosha would now deliberately, reluctantly, and stay with her all day long, and thus get tired of her.She only asked him to do one thing, so that he would not use her Say anything in name, and she tried to put on a smile when she said goodbye to him.He was about to go out of the room, but suddenly he came back to her, took her by both hands, and sat down next to her.With an indescribable tenderness, he looking at her. ① Yeliseyev is the owner of a well-known non-staple food shop in Petersburg. "Natasha. My friend, my angel, don't be angry with me. Let's never quarrel again. You promise me that you will trust me no matter what happens in the future, and I will trust you too. My angel, I Now I have something to tell you: once, no I remember we had a fight over something; it was my fault.We two, you ignore me, and I ignore you.I refused to be the first to admit my mistake, and felt very uncomfortable.I'm running around the city, hanging out, seeing friends, and I'm so sick, so sick... …I had a whim at the time; for example, what if you got sick and died from something.When I thought of this situation, I suddenly felt very sad, as if I really lost you forever.The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable it becomes, and the more I think about it, the more terrifying it becomes.So, slowly Slowly, slowly, I began to think again, as if I walked to your grave, lay down in front of your grave, lost consciousness, hugged the grave and cried, and passed out on the ground.I imagined that I was kissing this grave, calling you to come out of it, just for a moment Well, I still pray to God, let him create a miracle, let you be resurrected even for a moment in front of me, I can't help but imagine how I rush to hug you, hug you tightly, kiss you, wish I could die of happiness immediately , I really want to follow the old days Same, even for a moment, holding you tightly in my arms.When I imagined this, I suddenly thought: Look at me, I want to ask God to give you to me, just for a moment, but I have been with you for six months Oh, how many times have we quarreled in these six months, how many days have we ignored each other!We vomit all day long, we are in the bliss and don't know the bliss, and now I just ask you to come out of the grave for a little while, and for this little while I don't hesitate At the cost of my whole life! ...When I think of all this, I can't bear it anymore, I hurried back to find you, and when I ran here, I found that you were waiting for me, and we hugged each other again after the quarrel, I remember, I held you tightly hugged tightly to the chest, As if I was really going to lose you.Natasha!Let's never quarrel again!I feel very sad every time we quarrel!Oh God!How could you have thought that I would leave you! " Natasha cried.They hugged each other tightly.So Alyosha swore to her never to leave her.Then he ran to find his father in a hurry.He is absolutely sure that everything will be done, everything will be arranged OK "It's over! It's over!" said Natasha, clasping my hand frantically. "He loves me, and will never stop loving me; but he also loves Changjia, and after a while, he will love Katya more than me. And the duke is not a poisonous snake. I will miss this opportunity, when..." "Natasha! I also believe that the Duke's actions are unethical, but..." "You still don't believe what I've said to him! I can see it in your face. But you wait, and you'll see for yourself whether I'm right. I'm speaking only generally, only God knows what the hell is going on in his head idea!This is a horrible person!I have walked up and down this room for four days, and I have worn everything out.What he needed was to make Alyosha feel at ease, to lighten his psychological burden, to stop him from frowning, which hindered his life, and to do so It can also relieve him of his obligation to love me.He came up with the clever trick of going to the house to propose a marriage, and another purpose was to use his influence to join us, and to confuse Alyosha with his nobility and magnanimity.It's true, it can't be wrong, Wan Nia!Alyosha is such a character.In this way, he was relieved of me; his worries about me disappeared.He will think: You know, she is my wife now, and will grow old with me, so he can't help but care more about her. Here comes Katya.The prince has obviously studied the girl Katya, and sees that she is with him, and she will attract him more powerfully than I.Alas, Vanya, now all my hopes rest on you; for some reason he wants to make your acquaintance, .Do not put off, my dear, but, for God's sake, call on the countess as soon as possible.Get acquainted with this card envoy, take a good look at her, and then tell me: what is she like?I need you to be there to see for me.who else It's better for you to understand me. You must understand what I need to understand.And please observe for me how well they are, how they are now, what they are talking about; the most important thing is to take a good look at Katya for me... my dear Good man Vanya, you have to prove to me once again, prove to me once again your friendship to me!Now I'm counting on you, and only on you! ..." ……………………………………………… It was twelve o'clock in the middle of the night when I got home.Nellie opened the door for me sleepily.She smiled brightly and looked at me cheerfully.The poor boy was very angry with himself for falling asleep.She kept trying to wait until I came back to sleep.she said someone Came to see me, sat with her for a while, left a note on the table and left.This note was written by Masloboyev.He asked me to go to him at noon tomorrow.I'd love to ask Nellie for clarification, but I think I'll put it off until tomorrow, I insist. insisted that she go to bed at once; and the poor child, being very tired from waiting for me, did not fall asleep until half an hour before my return.