Chapter 30 Chapter 02

He ran in just like flying, and his face was radiant and beaming.It can be seen that during these four days, he lived happily and happily.The expression on his face seemed to say that he had something to tell us. "I'm not here!" he declared solemnly to the whole room. "I should have come earlier than everyone else. But you'll know everything, everything, everything in a moment! Dad, we haven't had time to talk for two days. a word, and I have much to tell tell you.He only allows me to call you you when he likes it," he interrupted again, and said to me, "Really, at another time, he just won't allow it!His strategy is to stay calm: talk to me about you first.but from today

I want him to always be what he wants, and I must make it happen!In short, in these four days, I have changed completely, completely changed, and I will tell you everything exactly.But this is something for later, and it will not be too late to talk about it later.now the most What matters: I see her again!she!We meet again!Natasha, baby, hello, my angel! He said, sitting down beside her, kissing her hand greedily, "I miss you so much these days!"But anyway-- I can't do it, I can't do it all.Dear!You seem to be a little thinner, and your complexion looks a little pale..."

Delighted, he kissed her hands all over her hands, looking greedily at her with his beautiful eyes, as if he couldn't get enough of them.I looked up at Natasha, and I could see from her face that we both saw the same thing: he was completely Innocent.Besides, when will this innocent man become guilty?A delicate blush instantly covered Natasha's pale cheeks, as if the blood that had been squeezed into her heart rushed to her head in an instant.Her eyes were shining, she glanced proudly He glanced at the Duke. "But you... so many days... where have you been?" She asked in a restrained, intermittent voice.Her breathing was heavy and uneven.My God, how she loved him!

"The thing is that I really seem to be ashamed of myself in front of you; I mean well! Needless to say, I'm really guilty of that, I know it myself, and I'm here because I know it. Katya yesterday and today They all told me that a woman would not forgive Forgive the negligence (she knew all about what happened to us here on Tuesday; I told her the next day).I argued with her and proved to her again and again, I said that this woman is called Natasha, and there may be only one person in the world who can match her. Enemy: This person is Katya; I came here, of course, I know that I have won this dispute.Will an angel like you not forgive me? 'He didn't come, there must be something that keeps him from coming, it's definitely not because he doesn't love me anymore,' my

Narbetha must have thought so!Besides, how can I not love you?Is it possible?I miss you with all my heart.But I'm still ashamed!But when you know everything, you will be the first to declare me innocent!I will To tell you the truth, I need to pour out my heart to you all; that's what I'm here for.Today (I had half a minute to spare), I wanted to fly here with wings in order to kiss you in a hurry, but it didn't work out: Katya Because I have something important, let me go to her immediately.This was before I got into the carriage, Papa.Didn't you see me; this was another time, when I went to see Katya because she had sent me a note.You know, our messengers are busy now,

Sending letters back and forth from one house to another at sky-high prices.Ivan Petrovich, I only read your note last night, and you are absolutely right in what you say in it.But what can be done: there is no way to double up!So I thought: Tomorrow night I can To prove my innocence; for I cannot fail to see you this evening, Natasha. " "What message?" Natasha asked. "He went to see me, and of course I was not at home, so in one of the letters he left me he cursed at me for not seeing you often. He was quite right. It was yesterday. .” Natasha glanced at me. "Since you have time with Katerina Fyodorovna from morning till night..." began the prince.

"I know, I know what you're going to say," said Alyosha, inquiring about him. "If you can go to Katya's, you have twice as much reason to come here." I completely agree with you, and even One thing to add; it's not a double reason Not because, but a million times more!But, first, there are often strange and unexpected events in life that mess everything up and turn everything upside down.Well, this happened to me too.To tell you the truth, these days I'm completely changed, from head to toe; so there's something important! " "Oh, my God, what's the matter with you! Don't be fooled!" cried Liutasha, smiling at Alyosha's impatience.

There was something absurd about him, indeed: he was in a hurry to say everything; he was talking fast and hastily, like a drumbeat, all out of order.He wanted to say everything at once.But he never let go of Natasha's grip as he talked. Hand, kept bringing her hand to her mouth, as if she couldn't kiss enough. "The problem is that a series of things have happened to me," continued Alyosha. "Ah, gentlemen! What have I seen, what have I done, what kind of people have I met! First of all Katya: she is absolutely perfect. woman! And here I didn't know anything about her before!I was talking to you about her then, on Tuesday, Natasha--remember, I said it so cheerfully, alas, I knew almost nothing about her even then.She's been hiding from me

,Until recently.But now we know each other perfectly.Now I and her are as good as you and me.But I'll start from the beginning: first, Natasha, you don't know what she said to me about you, because the next day, that is, Wednesday, told her everything that happened here... By the way: I remembered that when I came to see you that morning, that is, Wednesday, I looked too much in front of you!You greeted me excitedly, you were so focused All you are thinking about is our new situation, and you want to tell me about all of this; you have a lot of thoughts on your mind, and at the same time, you are fighting and arguing with me.Oh fool!Fool!You know, honestly, I was

I want to show off, brag, because I'm going to be a husband soon, and I'm going to be a serious person. Isn't it too ridiculous for me to want to brag and show off in front of you!Ah, needless to say, you once laughed at me, I am a living child , deserve your ridicule! " The prince sat silent, looking at Alyosha with a triumphant yet mocking smile.He seemed very pleased with the impetuous and ridiculous views expressed by his son.I have watched him intently all night, and am convinced that , he doesn't love his son at all, although some people say that he, a father, spoils him too much.

"After meeting you, I went to see Katya," continued Alyosha incessantly. "As I said, we only got to know each other completely this morning; it is strange how this happened. . . . I can't remember... a few warm words Words, frankly stated a few feelings and ideas, we have a heart-to-heart bond and become lifelong confidants.You should, should know her, Natasha!How well and to the point she spoke of you to me!She explained to me that you are a Priceless!Gradually, gradually, she explained to me all her thoughts and outlook on life; this is a very serious and enthusiastic girl!She spoke of our vocation, our calling, and said that we should all serve humanity , Therefore, during such five or six hours of conversation, we were completely connected with each other, and finally we made an oath to each other: we will always remain friends, and we will be together and fight together for the rest of our lives! " "What are you struggling for?" asked the Duke in surprise. "I am completely changed, father, and of course all this must surprise you, and I had a premonition that you would criticize me," Alyosha replied gravely. Many stereotypes, both You are self-conscious, but also rigid and old-fashioned; you have a distrustful, hostile, and mocking attitude towards all new things, all young and fresh things.But I'm not the me you knew a few days ago now.i became someone else !I dare to face all people and things in the world.If I know that my belief is right, I will stick to it and never look back. As long as I don’t get lost or get dizzy, then I am an aboveboard person.that's enough for me enough.From now on, just say whatever you like, I firmly believe that I am right. " "Yes!" said the Duke mockingly. Natasha looked at us uneasily.She was worried about Alyosha.She knew that he was always in a very disadvantageous position because he would talk in a blur and get carried away when he spoke.She did not want to see Alyosha in front of us, especially It was in front of his father, exposing his ridiculous side. "What's the matter with you, Alyosha! Isn't this talking about some mysterious philosophy," she said. "Someone must have taught you... You should talk about yourself." "I'm talking!" cried Alyosha, "do you know that Katya has two distant relatives, probably of some kind, one named Levinka, the other Paulinka, and one One is a college student, and the other is an ordinary young man. She and he The two are connected, and these two are simply amazing people.They seldom visited the countess because it was a matter of principle.Katya mentioned them both , and immediately gave me a note addressed to them; I flew off to visit them at once.The three of us became close friends that night.There were about twenty people there, from different backgrounds, including college students, military officers, and painters; Writers . . . they all know you, Ivan Petrovich, that is to say, they have read your masterpieces, and have great hopes for you in the future.This is what they said to me.I tell them I know you and I promise to introduce you Get to know them.They all welcomed me with open arms like a brother.When we first met, I told them that I was going to be married soon; so they treated me as if I were a family man.They live on five floors each, next to each other the roof; they met as often as possible, mostly on Wednesdays, at the apartments of Levinka and Paulinka.Here are young men full of life; all of them passionate love for all mankind; all of us talked about our present and our future, Science and literature, we talked so well, so frankly and casually... There was also a high school student there.They love each other, how noble they are!I've never met anyone like them!Before that, I stayed Where is it?what have i seenUnder what ideological influence did I grow up?Natasha, you're the only one who ever talked to me about something like this.Oh, Natasha, you must get to know them; they already know Katya .They all admired her very much when they talked about her, and Katya had already told Levinka and Paulinka that as soon as she had the right to dispose of her property, she would immediately donate one million to public welfare. " "Surely it is Levinka and Paulinka with all their accomplices who command this million?" asked the prince. "No, no; father, you are ashamed to say that!" cried Alyosha enthusiastically. "I doubt your idea! We did talk about the million, and we talked about it for a long time: How should the money be used? It was finally decided to use it first for social enlightenment..." "Yes, it is true that I did not know Katerina Fyodorovna well before that," said the prince, as if talking to himself, still with his old mocking smile. "However, I had high hopes for her, but I didn't expect This……" "What!" Alyosha interrupted him, "what's the fuss about it? Is it not in line with your way of life? Just because no one has donated a million generously, and She wants to donate generously? Is it because of this?But what if she doesn't want to live on others; for to live on these millions is to live on others (I also only now understand).She wants to benefit the motherland and benefit the people , she wants to make her own contribution to public welfare.We're used to giving generously, but a million dollars is a big deal!Profit, virtue, etc., which I once believed in, and which have been praised by people, are again suggestions. On what basis!Why are you looking at me like that, father?As if you saw a clown standing in front of you, a fool!Hmph, so what if you're a fool?Natasha, you'd better hear what Katya has to say about this: 'To What is important is not the mind, but the temperament, heart, noble sentiment and cultivation of the person who guides the mind. ’ But the main thing is that Bezmekin has a genius way of saying it.Bezmekin was a friend of Levinka and Paulinka's, and, to be honest, Guys, this is a character, a real genius!Probably just yesterday, he mentioned in a conversation: Once a fool realizes that he is a fool, he is no longer a fool①.How right!Such good words are almost always with him can be heard.What he speaks is the truth. " "A wise saying indeed!" said the Duke. "You're always making fun of people. But I've never heard you say anything like that; and I've never heard you guys say anything like that. On the contrary, you guys always keep everything hidden." tucks and debases everything so that all bodies material, all noses must conform to a certain size, a certain specification -- it seems that this can be done.Little do they know that doing so is a thousand times more difficult than we say and think.But someone calls us Matopan!you should have heard what they said to me yesterday How did you say..." "Then what are you talking and thinking? Tell me, Alyosha, I don't seem to understand you," said Natasha. ① According to the researchers, this sentence seems to be alluding to the Russian revolutionary democrat Dobrolyubov. "In general, everything that leads to progress, humanity, and love, we talk about and think about; we talk about all that is caused by contemporary problems. We talk about freedom of the press, we talk about reforms that have just begun, we talk about love for humanity, There are also some contemporary activists; we analyze them and read their writings.But the main thing is that we pledge to each other to be open and honest with each other, to tell each other straight up everything about ourselves, and not to be shy.Only when we meet each other honestly, Only by being outspoken can we achieve what we want to achieve.One who worked particularly hard to achieve this was Bezmekin.I told Katya about it, and she admired Bezmekin very much.So we all promise a bright life under the leadership of Bezhaikin Upright, sit upright, stand upright, no matter what people say about us, how they comment on us, we will not be moved, never feel ashamed of our enthusiasm, our pursuit, and our mistakes, and we must go forward bravely.If you want people to respect You, the first and most important thing is that you should respect yourself; only in this way, only when you respect yourself, can others respect you. ① This was said by Bezhyagin, and Katya fully agreed with him.In short, we now have a common beliefs and consistent opinions, and decided to study separately first, and then exchange ideas with each other..." "What nonsense!" exclaimed the prince uneasily, "what is this Bezhyagin doing; no, it cannot be allowed to go on like this..." "What can't be allowed to go on like this?" Alyosha interjected. "I said father, why am I saying all this in front of you now? Because I think, I want to recruit you into our circle. I am already there." guarantee for you. You Laugh, I expected you would laugh at me!But hear me out!You are kind and virtuous; you will understand.It's just because you don't know these people, have never seen these people, and have never heard of them. .Let us suppose that you have heard and studied all these things, and you are very learned; but you have not seen them in person, have not been to them, so how can you judge them correctly!You just think you know them.No , you have to go to their place first to meet them for a while and listen to what they have to say. At that time——at that time, I can guarantee you that you will definitely become one of us!And the most important thing is, I want to use all means to enable you to be in the place you are reluctant to part with. To save you from destruction within your partner, to make you repent and throw away your beliefs. " The prince listened to this paradox without saying a word, and with a very bitter sneer; his face wore a bitter expression.Natasha watched him with undisguised disgust.He saw this, but kept it cool.However, Alio As soon as Sha finished speaking, the Duke burst out laughing.He even leaned back on the back of the chair, as if he couldn't help laughing and couldn't control himself.But the laughter was entirely contrived.It was too clear that the reason why he laughed was entirely to humiliate himself severely. own son.Alyosha was indeed very distressed; his whole face was marked by an unusual sadness.But he waited patiently for his father's hilarious performance to end. ①The above statement is also a satirical imitation of what Shbrolyubov said. "Father," he began sadly, "why do you have to make fun of me? I am straight and honest with you. If, in your opinion, what I say is nothing but foolishness, don't tell me Is it enough? Why bother to make fun of me. Besides, you take What are you laughing at?You are making fun of what I now regard as sacred and noble!Well, if I go astray, if it's all wrong and wrong, if I'm a fool, as you've called me more than once; but , If I go astray, I am true and fair; I do not dishonor my noble birth.I am inspired by lofty ideas.Even if these ideas are wrong, the basis for them is divine. As I told you just now, you and your group have not said anything of this kind that would guide me, that I would go with you.If these ideas are wrong, you can refute them, tell me something better than them, and I will tell you Go, but please don't make fun of me, for it makes me very sad. " Alyosha spoke these words with candor and with great pride.Natasha looked at him sympathetically.The Duke even listened to his son's confession in surprise, and immediately changed his tone of speaking. "I did not mean to insult you in the slightest, my boy," he answered, "but I am sorry for you. You are going to take such a step in your life, and I think it is time for you to use your own mind. Don't act like a dumbass. This is my thoughts.I laughed unintentionally, and I didn't mean to insult you in the slightest. " "Then why do I feel this way?" Alyosha went on sadly. "Why do I feel that you are hostile to me, ridiculed, and have no affection for me? Why do I feel that if I change it's you, never Would you openly make fun of and insult your son like you are doing to me now.Let me say this: let's spread it out and clarify it now, and say it right away, once it's settled, don't leave the slightest misunderstanding.And... I will tell you something, and I will never hide it : When I came in, I felt some misunderstanding happened here too; I didn't expect to meet you together, you are all here, and this is what it looks like.Isn't it right?If this is the case, it is better for everyone to express their feelings. okay?Only by being open and honest can we prevent problems before they happen! " "Go ahead, go ahead, Alyosha!" said the prince. "Your suggestion was so good that you should probably start it that way," he added, glancing at Natasha. "I want to be completely frank, but please don't be offended," began Alyosha, "you want to do it yourself, you asked for it. Then listen to me. You agree to my marriage with Natasha; you Give us this happiness, for which thou art Overcome your own prejudices.You are generous, and we both speak highly of this noble act of yours.But why do you keep hinting to me happily now that I am still a ridiculous child, and I am not suitable to be a husband at all.Also, you seem to He also wanted to make fun of me in front of Natasha, belittle me, and put a smear on my face.You're always delighted when you can catch something that exposes a ridiculous side of me; which I've noticed not just now, but long ago.don't know because Why do you seem to be trying to prove to us that our marriage is ridiculous and absurd, that we are not compatible at all.In all honesty, you don't seem to believe what you're doing for us; you seem to take it all as a joke, a funny joke. Whimsical, it's a ridiculous farce... I don't come to this conclusion just based on what you said today.I heard some strange What I said surprised me, and even made me sad.On Wednesday, before you left, you made some hints about our current situation, and you also mentioned her-not hurtful, but the opposite, but there is always something strange, with me What I want to hear from you is different, a little too frivolous, a little unloved, not very respectful to her... It's hard to put it into words, but your tone of voice is clear; my heart feels it.If I'm wrong, please let me know.please release me Give me... give her encouragement, for you have broken her heart too.I saw it right away when I came in…” Alyosha spoke these words in a warm and resolute manner, and Natasha listened to him with great joy, her face was on fire, and two or three times in the course of the conversation she said to herself. In a nutshell, he said: "Yes, yes Yes, it is! ’ The duke looked embarrassed. "My child," he answered, "I cannot remember all that I have said to you, of course; but it is very strange that you should understand me in this way. I will do my best to dispel all doubts. I have just Laughing is also understandable. Honestly You said, I even want to use this smile to hide the pain in my heart.Now when I think of your soon-to-be husband, it always seems to me to be utterly impossible, absurd, and, let me tell you the truth, even absurd.Because I laugh, you accuse me, I Let's just say, it's all because of you.I'm also at fault: perhaps I haven't paid enough attention to you lately, so until now, until tonight, I don't know what absurd things you can do.Now when I think of you and Natalia Nikolaevna I shuddered at the future: I was too hasty; I saw you two were so different.Any love will pass, but the differences between each other will always exist.Now, I won't talk about your future, but think about it, if you only have good wishes Hope, then you must destroy Natalya Nikolaevna and yourself!See you've been talking for a whole hour just now, about love for humanity, about noble convictions, about some decent men you've met; and yet you ask What did I say to Ivan Petrovich when we both stopped here at the door here, on this terrible staircase, up to the fourth floor?Thanks to God's blessing, we saved our two lives and four legs.Do you know what What thought immediately popped into my head?I wonder how you, who love Natalya Nikolaevna so much, can bear to let her live in such a room?Why didn't you think that if you don't have money, if you don't have the ability to fulfill yourself You are not qualified to be a husband, and you are not qualified to bear any responsibility for your investment qualifications.Love alone is not enough; love must be proved by actions; and how do you think about the problem: "Even if you suffer with me, you have to suffer with me this day." Let's live together' - you know, this is inhumane and not noble.To talk about philanthropy, to talk with gusto about the problems of all mankind, and at the same time to commit a crime against love without knowing it—it is simply unthinkable!Natalia Nico Laevna, please don't interrupt me, let me finish; I am so distressed that I will tell you all.You just said, Alyosha, that these days you have been preoccupied with everything that is noble, beautiful, and honorable, and you accuse me of , saying that there is no such pursuit in our circle, but only dry insight into world affairs and understanding of human feelings.Try it: While chasing the sublime and the good, four days in a row after what happened here on Tuesday Overlooked that girl you seem to think is priceless in the world!You even admitted that you had an argument with Katerina Fyodorovna, that Natalia Nikolaevna loved you very much, she was so magnanimous that she would surely forgive you Negligence and misconduct.But what qualifications do you have to expect such forgiveness, and dare to bet with others?Didn't it occur to you once how much pain you had caused Natalya Nikolaevna these days? Thoughts, how much doubt and suspicion?Are you justified in neglecting your most important duties just because you're indulging in some new idea there?Natalya Nikolaevna, please forgive me for breaking my promise.but now The matter is more serious than this promise: you will understand it yourself... Do you know, Alyosha, that when I met Natalya Nikolaevna she was in such pain, It is understandable that you turned these four days into a What a hell!And these four days should have been the best days of her life.On the one hand, it is such an irresponsible behavior, on the other hand, it is empty words, endless empty words... Am I wrong?you did a lot After the absurd thing, you actually have the nerve to blame me? " The duke had finished.He even admired his eloquence very much, and he was very happy, and he didn't hide it.When Alyosha heard how miserable Natasha had been these days, he glanced at her sadly and sadly, but Natasha had made up her mind. "Come, Alyosha, don't be sad," she said, "you are worse than you. Sit down and listen, I have something to say to your father. It's time to finish!" "Please tell me more, Natalya Nikolaevna," the prince intervened, "please do me a favor! I have been listening to this riddle for two hours. It is unbearable, I admit, It is my beginning to receive such a reception here. Unexpected. " "Perhaps, because you are trying to confuse us with flattering words, so that we cannot see your secret plans. What is there to explain to you! You know everything in your heart, you understand everything. Alyosha is right. What you most hope for Just break us up. Tuesday , After that night, what will happen here, you have long been clear in your heart, you have known it well, and you have estimated it long ago.I have already told you that neither you are serious about me nor this so-called marriage proposal you directed.you You are joking with us; you want us, and you have your good intentions in your heart.The set you want is really good.Alyosha is right in accusing you of taking all this as a farce.You shouldn't criticize Alyosha, on the contrary you should be happy , because he did everything you asked him to do without knowing it; maybe even more than you expected. " I was dumbfounded.I had expected some kind of tragic downturn tonight.But Natasha's unceremonious directness and the undisguised contempt of her words shocked me to the extreme.I think, by It can be seen that she did know something, and decided to break up with the Duke from now on.Perhaps even anxiously awaiting the Duke's arrival, in order to speak his mind and tell him everything at once.The Duke's face was microscopically pale.Alyosha's face On the other hand, there is a naive look of fear and anxiety. "Don't you forget what you were blaming me just now!" cried the prince. "You must think about what you are talking about, and think about it. . . . It is incomprehensible." "Ah! Then you don't want me to stop at nothing," said Natasha. "Even he, even Alyosha, thinks the same about you as I do, and I haven't discussed it with him, or even met him!"Even he thinks that you are playing us shamelessly, And he loves you as a heavenly stock and believes in you.You do not think it necessary to be cautious and cunning with him; you are fully convinced that he will never see through your tricks.But he had a keen, tender and sentimental heart, as he said , your words and your tone of voice have been deeply imprinted on his heart..." "Exactly, simply inexplicably!" repeated the prince over and over, looking at me with feigned astonishment, as if he wanted me to testify against him.He was angry and irritable. "You are too suspicious, like a frightened bird," he continued to her. Continued, "'You are only jealous of Katerina Fyodorovna, so you are guilty of the whole world, and I bear the brunt of it... Let me say what I want to say: you People's tempers are so weird... so noisy Noisy, crying, I'm not used to it; if it wasn't for my son's interests, I wouldn't be able to stay here for a minute if you're so aggressive... I'm still waiting, can you clarify? " "Then, though you know all about it, are you so stubborn that I don't want me to stop at it? Do you want me to say everything at once?" "That's exactly what I want you to do."' "Well, then, keep your ears open," cried Natasha, her eyes burning with anger, "and I'll tell you everything!"