Chapter 8 chapter eight

The letter from Sonia to Nicholas, which answered his prayer, was from Troitz.The reason for it is this.The idea of ​​marrying Nicholas to a rich bride haunted the old countess more and more.She knew Sonia was the main obstacle in the matter.So Sonya's days at the countess's had become more and more difficult of late, especially after Nicholas's letter about her encounter with Princess Marya at Bogucharovo.The Countess never missed an opportunity to insinuate Sonia with insulting or cruel hints. But a few days before leaving Moscow, the countess, who was terrified and saddened by what had happened, called Sonia to her side, and instead of blaming and demanding, begged her tearfully to sacrifice herself and sever ties with Nicholas. In return for what this family has done for her.

"As long as you don't promise me, I will never be at peace." Sonia burst into tears and wailed and replied that she could do anything, she was ready for everything, but she did not directly agree to the series and the philosophy of language.Advocating modern symbolic logic as a tool for philosophical analysis, she couldn't make up her mind and couldn't do what she was asked to do.For the happiness of the family that raised her and educated her, she should sacrifice herself.Sacrificing herself for the happiness of others was a common practice for Sonia.She was in such a position in the family that her dignity could only be explained by sacrifice, and she was accustomed to and loved sacrifice.But in all her previous acts of self-sacrifice, she was delighted to realize that whenever she sacrificed herself, that act increased her worth in the eyes of herself and others, and made her more worthy of Nicolas, whom she admired most in her life. ; and now her sacrifice consisted in giving up the reward of her sacrifice and the whole meaning of life.So, for the first time in her life, she felt her grievances towards people and tasted bitterness.People do her favors only to torment her more; she feels jealous of Natasha, she has never tasted a similar bitterness, never has to sacrifice herself, but always makes others sacrifice for her, and everyone Always liked her.At the same time, Sonia felt for the first time that from her peaceful and pure love for Nicolas suddenly began to grow a passionate emotion, which was higher than principles, morality and religion; After learning to conceal the truth, Sonia involuntarily answered the countess vaguely, avoided talking to her, and decided to wait to meet Nicholas. Holding her was not a relief, but on the contrary, she would always separate herself from him. A plan tied together.

During the last days of the Rostov family's stay in Moscow, confusion and terror overwhelmed Sonya's tormenting melancholy thoughts.She was glad to be free from these thoughts in practical activities, but when she learned that Prince Andrew was at their house, despite her sincere sympathy for him and Natasha, joy and superstition God did not want her to be with Nicolas. The feeling of separation dominated her.She knew that Natasha had never loved Prince Andrew alone, had not ceased to love him.She knew that now, together under such terrible circumstances, they would fall in love again, and since the two of them would be related, Nicholas would not be able to marry Princess Marya.Horrible as everything that had happened in those last days and the first days of the journey, this feeling, this awareness of God's interference in her private affairs, made her happy.

At the Troits Monastery, the Rostovs stayed for the first time on their journey for a full day. The inn at the Troitz monastery was divided among the Rostovs' three large rooms, and Prince Andrew occupied one of them.His wound is much better today.Natasha sat with him.In an adjoining room the Countess and Countess were sitting respectfully talking to the Abbot, who had come to visit the two old acquaintances and benefactors.Sonia was also speaking on "Yuanlun", arguing that the survival of all things depends on the gathering and dissipating of Qi. He advocated practicality, criticized, and was tormented by curiosity to know what Prince Andrei and Natasha talked about. She came from the door. Listening to their voices, the door to Prince Andrei's room opened. Natasha came out with an excited face, not noticing the dean who got up to greet her, rolled up his right sleeve, and went to Next to Sonia, grabbed her hand.

"Natasha, what's the matter with you? Come here," said the countess. Natasha went to receive the blessing of the abbot, who urged her to seek help from God and his attendants. No sooner had the abbot left than Natasha took her companion by the hand and walked with her into an empty room. "Sonya, will you? Will he live?" she said. "Sonya, how happy and unhappy I am! Sonia, dear, everything is as it was before. If only he could live. He couldn't... because , because...for..." Natasha burst into tears. "That's right! I know it already! Thank goodness," Sonia kept going on, "he'll live!"

Sonya was no less agitated than her companion, she was agitated by her companion's fears and pains, and also by her own thoughts which she had told no one.She wept and kissed Natasha to comfort her. "As long as he lives!" she thought to herself.Two girlfriends!After weeping and talking for a while, and drying her tears, she went to Prince Andrew's door.Natasha opened the door carefully and looked into the room.Sonia stood beside her by the half-open door. Prince Andrew was lying high on three pillows.His pale face was calm, his eyes were closed, and it was evident that he was breathing evenly.

"Oh, Natasha!" suddenly Sonya almost cried, and took her cousin's hand and drew back from the door. "What? What?" asked Natasha. "That, that, is..." Sonia said palely, her lips trembling. Natasha closed the door gently, and went with Sonya to the window, not yet understanding what was being said to her. "Do you remember," said Sonia, with alarmed seriousness, "remember me reading your fortune in the mirror? . . . In Otradnoe, at Christmas time . . . remember what I saw ?…” "Yes, yes!" said Natasha, with wide-eyed eyes, vaguely recalling that Sonya had said at that time how Prince Andrew had been, that she had seen him lying down.

"Remember?" Sonia went on, "I saw it and told everyone, there was you, there was Dunyasha. I saw him lying on the bed," she said, spitting out each detail. Lifting up a finger and poking it upwards, "and eyes closed, covered with a rose-colored quilt, and folded hands," Sonia said, and as she described the details of what she had just seen, she became more convinced that she had seen these details.She hadn't seen it then, and when she told what she saw, she was talking about what she had imagined; but what she thought was as real as any other recollection, she felt.Not only did she remember what she said at the time, he turned his head to look at her and smiled, that his body was covered with red things, and she firmly believed that she had said and seen him covered with rose-colored things at that time, that is A rosy quilt, and his eyes were closed.

"Yes, yes, it is rose-colored," said Natasha, who now seemed to remember saying "rose-colored," and how strange and mysterious it was to see the omen in this matter. "But what does it mean?" asked Natasha thoughtfully. "Oh, I don't know, it's so queer!" said Sonia, putting her hands to her head. A few minutes later Prince Andrey rang the bell, and Natasha went into his room, while Sonya, feeling an emotion and emotion that she had seldom experienced, remained by the window and went on thinking about all the inconceivable. This day coincided with the period of military mail, so the countess wrote to her son.

"Sonia," said the countess, looking up from the letter as her niece passed by. "Sonya, don't you write to Nikolinka?" the countess whispered in a trembling voice, but in her tired eyes looking through the glasses, Sonia understood the meaning of the countess' question. implication.What is expressed in the eyes are prayers, fear of rejection, shyness of asking out of necessity, determination of merciless hatred when rejected. Sonia approached the countess, knelt down and kissed her hand. "I'll do it right now, Mommy," she said. Everything that happened that day, especially when she saw her divination mysteriously come true, softened Sonia's heart and touched her deeply.Now, when she knew that Nicholas could not marry Princess Marya because of Natasha's resumption of relations with Prince Andrew, she felt with joy the return of the spirit of self-sacrifice, which she loved and was used to living in. among.And with tears in her eyes, and with the joy of an act of forgiveness, she finally finished the letter that shocked Nikolai after several times she stopped writing because tears hid her dark, velvety eyes. Inspiring letter.