Chapter 32 Chapter Thirty-Two

Seven days had passed since Prince Andrei awoke at the Borodino battlefield ambulance station.Throughout this period he was almost constantly in a coma.The persistent fever and inflammation of the wounded intestines would have killed him, according to the accompanying physician.On the seventh day, however, he happily ate a piece of bread and a little tea, and the doctor found that his fever had subsided.The duke regained his sanity in the morning.On the first night of the evacuation from Moscow, which was quite warm, Prince Andrew was left to spend the night in the carriage; but in the village of Mytishchi the wounded himself asked to be lifted out of the carriage and given him tea.The pain inflicted on him by moving him into the room made him groan loudly and lose consciousness again.When he was put on the camp bed, he lay there for a long time with his eyes closed.Then he opened his eyes and said in a low voice, "Where's the tea?" His concern for the little things of life surprised the doctor.He felt for the pulse, and was surprised and dissatisfied to find that it was better.The doctor was dissatisfied because he was convinced by previous experience that Prince Andrey would not live, and that if he did not die now, he would die later with greater suffering.Prince Andrew was escorted by the major of his regiment, who had joined him in Moscow, and the red-nosed Timohin, who had also been wounded in the leg at Borodino.Accompanied by the doctor, the Duke's entourage and groom and two orderlies.

Tea was brought to the duke.He drank greedily, staring at the front door with feverish eyes, as if trying to understand and remember something. "I've had enough. I don't want any more. Is Timokhin there?" he asked.Timoxin crawled towards him along the bench. "I am here, my lord." "How's the injury?" "My injury? Nothing. But what about you?" Prince Andrey began to think again, as if trying to remember something. "Get a book, won't you?" he asked. "what book?" "The Gospel! I don't have any."

The doctor promised to look for it, and began to ask the Duke how he was feeling.Reluctantly, but sanely, Prince Andrew answered all the doctor's questions, and then said that he wanted a cushion to put under his body, otherwise it would be uncomfortable and painful.The doctor and his entourage lifted his greatcoat (the stench of festering flesh made them frown) and began to examine the terrible wound carefully.I don't know what the doctor was upset about, he nursed again, turned the wounded man, who moaned again, and the pain caused by the turning made him unconscious again, and began to utter delirium.He was always thinking about finding that book for him quickly and putting it under his body.

"What does it cost you?" he said. "I don't have this book—please find it and put it under your body for a while," he said sadly. The doctor left the room and went into the hall to wash his hands. "Oh, you have no conscience," said the doctor to the attendant who was pouring water on his hands. "I just ignored it for a minute. You know, I'm amazed he's able to bear the pain." "We seem to have put something on him, Lord Jesus Christ," said the attendant. For the first time Prince Andrew understood where he was and what had happened, recalled that he was wounded, and remembered the moment when his carriage stopped in the village of Mytishchi and he asked to be admitted to the farmhouse .After he was delirious with pain again, he woke up again in the house. While drinking tea, he recalled everything he had encountered again, and then he remembered more clearly the moment at the ambulance station, when he saw someone he didn't like. In the midst of his suffering, new thoughts arose in him which gave him a presentiment of happiness.Although these thoughts are not clear and uncertain, they are dominating his mind now.He remembered that he now had a new happiness, and that this new happiness had something in common with the Gospels.So he wants to get the Gospel.But they forced him to press the wound, which was very uncomfortable, and turned him, which hindered his thoughts, and when he woke up for the third time, it was already in the dead of night.Everyone around him was asleep.Crickets were chirping outside the hall, people were shouting and singing in the street, the crickets were rustling on the table, the icon and the walls, a big fly bumped against the head of his bed and swarmed around it. Candles whirling up candelabra.

His heart is in an abnormal state.The able-bodied person usually thinks, feels, and recalls a myriad of things at once, but has the power to select a few thoughts or phenomena and to focus all of his attention on them.When a healthy person is thinking deeply, in order to say a polite word to someone who walks in, he can suddenly stop thinking about things, and then return to thinking.In this respect, Prince Andrew's state of mind was abnormal.All his energies are more abundant and stronger than ever, but not at the mercy of his will.Very different thoughts and ideas occupied his mind.Sometimes his thoughts suddenly come to life, and appear powerful, clear, and deep (which he often fails to achieve in his health); but suddenly this activity is interrupted, replaced by unexpected ideas, and cannot be restored thoughts go up.

"Yes, a new kind of happiness has come to me, a kind of happiness that cannot be taken away from people," he lay in the half-darkness of the silent farmhouse, looking ahead with his feverish and dull eyes, I thought in my heart, "Happiness that exists outside of material power and does not depend on people's external material influence, the happiness of a heart, the happiness of love! This kind of happiness can be understood by everyone, but God is the only one who knows happiness and institutes it. But how did God institute this divine law? Why the Son? . . . " Then there was a sudden interruption of thought, and Prince Andrei heard (I don't know if he was unconscious) , or he did hear it), heard the even rhythmic incessant whisper: "Eep, beep-beep-beep," followed by "Eep, beep-beep," and then " Eee, beep-beep-beep," and then "Eee, chirp-chirp." And at the same time, to the accompaniment of the muffled music, Prince Andrei felt, on his face, Above, in the very center, rose a strange castle in the air, made of needles and splinters.It seemed to him (though it was laborious to him) that he must try to keep his balance, so that the towering tower would not collapse; but it fell, and slowly rose again amidst even faint music. "Stretch! Stretch! Stretch, and stretch," said Prince Ender to himself.While listening to the murmur and feeling the slowly stretching and erecting of the pavilion made of thin needles, Prince Andrei occasionally saw the blush of the candlelight, heard the rustling of the cockroaches, and heard the flies hitting the pillow and his face. on the sound.Whenever the fly touched his face, it caused a burning sensation; but at the same time, to his amazement, the fly was hitting the edge of the pavilion that stood on his face without knocking it down.In addition to these, there is another important discovery.It was the white mass that had appeared by the door, the sphinx, and it oppressed him too.

"But this is probably the shirt on my table," thought Prince Andrew, "and this is my foot, and this is the door, but why does it keep stretching and moving, always beeping—beeping— —beep and chirp—chirp—again beep—beep—beep .Then, suddenly, his thoughts and feelings came back to him with extraordinary vividness and force. "Yes, love (he thought perfectly clearly), but not the kind that loves for something, for any purpose or reason, but the kind of love I'm experiencing for the first time now, when I'm dying, when I have seen my enemy, and I still love him. I have experienced the love that is so essential to the soul that it does not need an object. I am experiencing this blissful feeling now. Love others , to love one's enemy. To love all—that is, to love God in all. To love one's kinsman, with the love of man; to love one's enemy, with the love of God; , I feel this joy. How is he? Is he still alive... Love with human love, may change from love to hate; but God's love does not change. Nothing, not even death, Nothing can destroy this love. This love of God is the essence of the soul. And I have hated many people in my life. Of all people, I love and hate more than her." So, He pictured Natasha vividly, but not, as before, only of her charms that delighted her; for the first time he imagined her soul.And, he understood her feelings, her pain, shame and remorse.He understood now for the first time how cruel it was to say no, how cruel it was to see him break with her.

"It would be nice to see her again. Just once, look into those eyes and say..." It was beep-beep-beep and chirp-chir again, beep-beep-puff again, and the fly touched... At this moment, his attention suddenly turned to another world, a A world that is both reality and delirium in which something special happens.In this world, still the tower stands and does not fall down, and something still stretches on and on, and the candle burns with a blush around it, and the shirt--the Sphinx is still curled up by the door; But, apart from all this, there was something babbling, a cool breeze, and then a new white sphinx, standing, appeared in front of the door.And on the head of this sphinx, there was a pale face and a pair of eyes like Natasha he was thinking about.

"Oh, how miserable is the endless delirium!" thought Prince Andrew, trying to drive the face out of his imagination.But this face appeared in front of him clearly and distinctly, and it kept getting closer.Prince Andrew wanted to return to pure thought, but was unable to do so, and the dream dragged him to its side.The whisper continued to murmur rhythmically, something squeezed and stretched, and a strange face stopped before him.Prince Andrew tried with all his strength to wake up; he turned over, but suddenly his ears rang, his eyes dimmed, and he lost consciousness like a man drowning.In his wake, Natasha, the living Natasha, the one of all whom he most wished to love, with the love of his new pure God which God had now revealed to him, Unfolded before him, on his knees beside his bed.He knew that this was the real, living Natasha, but he was not surprised and secretly pleased.Natasha, kneeling on her knees, looked at him in horror, fixedly (she could not move), and tried not to cry.Her face was pale and rigid, but the lower part of her face was shaking.

Prince Andrew sighed with relief, smiled, and held out his hand. "It's you?" he said. "Lucky!" Quickly and carefully, Natasha approached him on her knees, carefully took his hand, buried her face, and kissed it lightly with her lips. "Forgive me!" she murmured, looking up at him, "forgive me!" "I love you," said Prince Andrew. "Please forgive me..." "Forgive what?" asked Prince Andrew. "Forgive me for my . "I love you more than ever," said Prince Andrew, taking her face in his hands.look into her eyes.

Those eyes, full of happy tears, looked at him with shy sympathy, joy and affection.Natasha's thin, pale face, with its puffy lips, was not only ugly, it was horrible.But Prince Andrei did not see the face, he saw the shining eyes, they were beautiful, and behind them there was a conversation. Follower Peter woke up from a dream at this time, no sleepiness at all, and woke up the doctor.Timoxin, who had a sore leg and hadn't fallen asleep, had already seen what happened, carefully covered his naked body with a quilt, and curled up on the bench. "What's the matter?" said the doctor, leaning up from the bed, "please go, miss." At this moment, a maid knocked on the door. It was the maid sent by the countess when she realized that her daughter was missing. Like a somnambulist awakened from a dream, Natasha came out of the room, and as soon as she got back to her cottage she threw herself on the bed and wept. From that day on, and throughout the entire time the Rostov family continued on their journey, Natasha did not leave the wounded Bolkonsky, whether for naps or overnight stays, and the doctor had to admit that he did not expect the girl So strong and so good at caring for the wounded. The countess was terrified at the thought that Prince Andrei would (according to the doctor's opinion very probable) die in the arms of his daughter on the way, and she could not stop Natasha.Although, given the current intimacy between the wounded Prince Andrei and Natasha, one would think that once the recovery, the relationship of the betrothed couple will resume, but no one talks about it, Natasha Not to speak of this with Prince Andrei: not only the question of Bolkonsky, but the question of the life and death of Russia as a whole was left unanswered, and it clouded all other speculations.