Chapter 15 Chapter fifteen

Late at night, when Sonya returned, she went into Natasha's room and, to her surprise, found that she had fallen asleep on the sofa without taking off her clothes.Anatole's letter was open on the table beside her, and Sonia picked it up and began to read. As she read the letter she looked closely at Natasha who was asleep, searching her face for some explanation of how she felt after reading the letter, but she found nothing.The facial expression is peaceful, gentle, and happy.Sonia, pale and trembling with fear and excitement, clutched her breast, sat down in the easy chair, and wept.

"Why can't I see anything? How can this matter go too far? Doesn't she love Prince Andrey? How can she allow Kuragin to do this? He's a liar and a gangster, that's it." Quite obvious. What would happen to Nikolay if he knew about it? What would happen to lovely, noble Nikolai? Her facial expression was agitated, determined, unnatural the day before, yesterday and today, So that's what happened," thought Sonia, "but she couldn't love him! Probably she opened the letter without knowing who wrote it. Probably she felt insulted. She wouldn't do such a thing." what!"

Sonia wiped away her tears, went up to Natasha, and looked carefully at her face again. "Natasha!" she said, barely audible. Natasha woke up and saw Sonya. "Ah, you're back?" She hugged her girlfriend with the firm yet gentle look she often had when she woke up.But after finding the confused and uneasy expression on Sonia's face, Natasha also showed embarrassment and suspicion on her face. "Sonia, have you read the letter?" she said. "Look." Sonia said in a low voice. A smile of joy appeared on Natasha's face. "No, Sonia, I can't keep it from you anymore!" she said, "I can't keep it from you anymore. We love each other, you know! . . . Sonia, my dear, he wrote it." Letter... Sonia..."

Sonia didn't seem to believe her ears, and stared at Natasha with wide eyes. "Where's Bolkonski?" she said. "Oh, Sonia, oh, if only you knew how happy I am!" said Natasha, "you don't know what love is..." "But, Natasha, is it all over?" Natasha stared at Sonya with wide eyes, as if not understanding what she was asking. "Why, will you refuse Prince Andrew?" said Sonia. "Oh, you don't understand anything, don't talk nonsense, listen," said Natasha, with a momentary chagrin. "No, I can't believe it," Sonia repeated. "I don't understand. How can you love someone for a whole year, and then suddenly... you only saw him three times. Natasha, I don't believe you, you fuck with men and women. Within three days Forget all this..."

"Three days," said Natasha, "I feel as if I've loved him for a hundred years. I feel as if I've never loved anyone before loving him. You can't understand that. Wait a minute, Sonya, Sit here." Natasha put her arms around her and kissed her. "I've been told it's a common thing, and you may have heard it, but I'm just now experiencing this kind of love. It's so different from what it used to be. As soon as I saw him, I thought he was my master, I am his slave, and I cannot help loving him. Yes, I am a slave! I will do what he tells me. You don't understand that. What shall I do? What shall I do, Sonia?" Tasha said with a look of happiness and horror on her face.

"But, think about it, what are you doing," Sonia said, "I can't just ignore this kind of thing. These secret love letters . . . how can you allow him to do something like this?" Said the disgust that was hard to hide. "I told you," replied Natasha, "that I am lost, and you don't understand that, that I love him!" "I will never allow him to do such a thing, I will tell people," Sonia suddenly cried, tears welling up in her eyes. "What are you, for God's sake... If you talk about it, you are my enemy," said Natasha. "You want to make me miserable, and you want to separate us."

Seeing Natasha's terrifying appearance, Sonia couldn't help but shed tears of shame and pity for her girlfriend. "What happened between you?" she asked, "What did he say to you? Why doesn't he come home? " Natasha did not answer her question. "Sonya, for God's sake, don't tell anyone, don't make me miserable," begged Natasha. "Remember, you can't interfere in this matter. I'm speaking frankly to you..." "But why keep these secrets? Why doesn't he come to the house?" asked Sonia. "Why didn't he just propose to you? If that's the case, wouldn't Prince Andrey give you enough?" freedom? But I don't believe in such things. Natasha, you've always thought, what might be the underlying reason?"

Natasha looked at Sonya with her surprised eyes, and it seemed that the question had come to her mind for the first time, and she did not know how to answer it. "I don't know why, but there must be a reason!" Sonia sighed and shook her head distrustingly. "If there's any reason..." she began.But Natasha guessed her perplexity, and interrupted her in fear. "Sonia, you can't doubt him, you can't, you can't, do you understand?" she cried. "Does he love you?" "Does he love me?" repeated Natasha, with a pitiful smile at her friend's dullness. "Didn't you read the letter? Have you seen him?

"What if he is not a noble man?" "He! . . . No noble man? I wish you could understand him!" said Natasha. "If he is a noble person, he should express his intentions, or stop seeing you; if you don't want to do this, I will do it for you, I will write to him, and I will tell Dad." Sonia said firmly . "But I cannot live without him!" cried Natasha. "Natasha, I don't know you. What are you talking about! Think of your father, think of Nicholas." "I don't need anyone, I don't love anyone but him. How dare you say he's not noble? Don't you know that I love him?" cried Natasha.

"Sonia, go away, I don't want to quarrel with you, for God's sake, go away, you go away, you know I feel bad," Natasha cried angrily in her measured, exasperated, hopeless voice.Sobbing and crying, Sonia ran out of the room. Natasha went to the table and wrote to Princess Marya without hesitation, which took all morning without finishing.In this letter she briefly wrote to Princess Marya that the misunderstanding between them had been settled, that Prince Dormandre was generous, that he gave her freedom when he went out, and that if she made a mistake in front of her, Just beg her pardon, and don't take it all to heart; but she can't be his wife.In this instant, she seemed to feel that all this was so simple, clear, and easy.

On Friday the Rostovs were leaving for the country, and on Wednesday the count went with the buyer to his estate near Moscow. On the day of the count's departure Sonya and Natasha were invited to a grand banquet at the Karagin's, and Marya Dmitrievna accompanied them in a carriage.At this banquet Natasha met Anatole again, and Sonia discovered that Natasha had said something to him that she did not want others to hear, and that she was even more excited than before during the banquet.When they got home, she talked to Sonia first, trying to clear up the misunderstanding, which was what her girlfriend Sonia expected. "Sonya, you said all sorts of stupid things about him," began Natasha, in the gentle tone that children use when they want to be praised, "to-day I'm going to explain something to him. " "Well, how is it? What did he say? Natasha, I am very glad you are not angry with me. You tell me the whole truth. What did he say?" Natasha pondered. "Oh, Sonia, if you knew him as well as I do! He said... He asked me how I agreed to Bolkonski. He was very happy when I made the transfer." Sonia sighed sadly. "But you haven't rejected Bolkonski yet?" she said. "Perhaps I turned him down! Perhaps my marriage with Bolkonski is ruined. Why do you think so badly of me?" "I didn't think about anything, I just didn't understand the point..." "Wait a minute, Sonia, and you'll find out. You'll know what he is. Don't think so badly of me, or of him." "I don't think badly of anyone. I love everyone and pity everyone. But what should I do?" The gentle tone with which Natasha spoke to Sonya failed to compel Sonya to back down.Natasha's expression became more tender and obsequious, Sonya's became more serious and solemn. "Natasha," she said, "you asked me not to speak to you, and I stopped, and now you are speaking yourself. Natasha, I don't believe him. Why keep it a secret?" "It's that and that again!" interrupted Natasha. "Natasha, I'm worried about you." "What are you worried about?" "I'm afraid you'll destroy yourself," said Sonia decisively, frightened by what she said. Natasha's face showed resentment again. "I destroy, destroy, destroy myself as fast as I can. It's none of your business. It's not you, it's me. Leave it alone, leave me alone. I hate you." "Natasha!" Sonia called out in panic. "I hate you, I hate you! You will always be my enemy!" Natasha ran out of the room. Natasha stopped talking to Sonya and avoided her.Still walking about the room with an expression of agitation, surprise, and reprehensibility, she did one thing and another, and then dropped it again. However sad it was for Sonia, she still kept her eyes fixed on her girlfriend. The day before the count was due to go home, Sonia noticed that Natasha had been sitting at the drawing-room window all morning, as if waiting for something, and she was gesturing to some soldier passing by, which Sonia regarded as Anatoly. Sonya began to observe her girlfriend more closely, and she noticed that Natasha was in a strange and abnormal state of mind at lunch and in the evening (she answered the questions put to her in the wrong way, Doesn't finish after starting to talk, smiles at everything). After tea Sonya caught sight of the timid servant girl who was waiting in Natasha's porter.She let her in, and after eavesdropping by the door, she knew that another letter had been handed to her. Sonia suddenly understood that Natasha had a terrible plan of action tonight.Sonia knocked on her door.Natasha would not let her in. "She's going to run away with him!" thought Sonia. "She's capable of anything. And now, for some reason, she has a particularly pitiful and resolute expression on her face." Thinking of that, Sonia cried as she said goodbye to her uncle. stand up. "She's going to run away with him, yes, there's no doubt about it, but what am I going to do?" thought Sonya, remembering in her mind all the obvious signs why Natasha had such an attitude. Terrible plan. "The count is not at home. What should I do? Write to Kuragin, and ask him to show his attitude? But who ordered him to write an answer? Write to Pierre, like Prince Andrew in an unfortunate situation." to turn to her for help? . . . ” But perhaps she really rejected Bolkonski (she sent a letter to Princess Marya yesterday).Uncle is not at home. Maria Dmitrievna believed in Natasha so much that Sonya was terrified by telling her the story. "But anyway," thought Sonia, standing in the dim corridor, "take this opportunity right now, or let it go, but I must say that I remember the kindness they have shown me, and I love it." Nicholas, no, even if I don’t sleep for three nights, I will not go out from the corridor, and I will try my best to stop her, so as not to let her go, so as not to embarrass their family.” She thought so.