Chapter 12 Chapter Twelve

Natasha was sixteen years old, and it was 1809, the year she and Boris counted on after they had kissed four years earlier.She had not seen Boris once since then.When the subject of Boris was mentioned, it was as though a matter had already been decided, and she spoke of all the past so casually in front of Sonya and her mother that it was childish, unworthy of talking, long forgotten.But in the back of her secret soul, the question whether the promise she had made to Boris was a jest or an urgent, binding promise was always tormenting her. He had not seen the Rostovs since Boris left Moscow to enlist in the army in 1805.He passed not far from Otradnoe several times on his way back to Moscow, but he never went to the Rostovs' house.

It sometimes occurred to Natasha that he did not want to see her, and the sad tone with which the elders spoke of him confirmed her suspicions. "No one in this world misses an old friend," continued the countess, after Boris was mentioned. Anna Mikhaylovna, who had been seldom visiting the Rostovs lately, and who for some reason behaved particularly dignifiedly, spoke excitedly and gratefully of her son's merits and his bright future.When the Rostovs came to Petersburg, Boris visited them. He went up to them not without emotion.Boris' miss of Natasha is the most poetic.And at the same time he was on the way with the firm intention of making her and her parents aware of the promises he and Natasha had made to each other in childhood, to him as well as to her, It cannot be an obligation that must be fulfilled.He was very well placed in society because of his close relations with Countess Bezukhova, and his position was very eminent because he had an important person who protected him, and he had completely won the confidence of this important person, He then planned to marry a girl from the richest family in Petersburg, which was easily accomplished at that time.Natasha was in her own room when Boris entered the Rostovs' drawing-room.When she knew he was coming, she was flushed, beaming with joy, showing an overly affectionate smile, and almost ran into the living room.

Boris remembered the Natasha he had known four years ago, in a short dress, with dark eyes that gleamed from under her curls, and could hear her unscrupulous childish laughter, So when this very different Natasha came in, he felt shy, and his face showed joy and surprise.This expression of his face pleased Natasha. "Why, do you know your naughty little friend?" said the countess.Boris kissed Natasha's hand, and said he was surprised by the change in her. "You look much better than before!" "Of course!" replied Natasha's smiling eyes. "But Daddy's getting old?" she asked.Natasha sat down, without taking part in the conversation between Boris and the countess, and without saying a word looked carefully at her childhood suitor.He felt in him the heaviness of this gentle, intent gaze, which sometimes glanced at her.

Boris' uniform, spurs, ties, hairdos—all in the latest fashion, very good (commeilfaut).Natasha saw it at once.He sat slightly sideways in the easy chair beside the countess, with his right hand he kept the cleanest tightly fitted glove on the left, and with a particularly elegant expression on his lips, he spoke of Petersburg high society. He recalled, with kindly irony, the good old days of Moscow and his Moscow acquaintances.His feelings were different from Natasha's. It was not for nothing that he mentioned the name of the high-ranking nobleman, mentioned the ball held by the minister he had attended, and the invitations to the banquet held by the NN and SS.

-------- ①French: very good. Natasha sat silent the whole time, looking at him with a frown.This look embarrassed Boris.More often than not he caught Natasha's eyes and more than once interrupted the conversation.After sitting for less than ten minutes, he stood up to salute and bid farewell.Still those curious, provocative, slightly sarcastic eyes kept looking at him.After the first visit, Boris said to himself that Natasha fascinated him as before, but he should not indulge in it, because marrying her, a girl with almost no money, would ruin his career, but It is immoral to resume a previous relationship without the purpose of marriage.Boris alone made up his mind not to meet Natasha, and although he had made up his mind a few days later he came again, and from then on he often visited and spent whole days at the Rostovs' house. .He often thought in his mind that he must confess his love to her, tell her that everything in the past must be forgotten, no matter what... She can't be his wife, he has no property, and they will never let her marry him.But he couldn't do it in his heart, and felt that it was embarrassing to confess his love.He was increasingly in trouble.According to the observations of her mother and Sonia, Natasha still seemed to be very much in love with Boris.She sang to him his favorite songs, showed him her own memory book, told him to write an inscription in it, did not allow herself to mention the past to him, and made him understand how wonderful new things were; He left vaguely, without finishing what he wanted to say, and he himself didn't know what he was doing, why he came, and what the result would be.Boris did not go to Helen's anymore, he received reproachful letters from her every day, and he still spent his days at the Rostov's.