Chapter 15 Chapter fifteen

It was not difficult to say "tomorrow" and maintain a decent tone, and it was a difficult thing for him to walk home alone, see his sister, brother, mother, and father, admit his mistakes, and ask the family for money. A terrible thing, because he has no right to ask for money after he has made his promise. Everyone in the family is still awake.The young Rostovs had returned from the theatre, and after supper sat down at the clavichord.As soon as Nicholas entered the hall, a caressing, poetic atmosphere prevailed in their house that winter, after Dolokhov's proposal and Iogel's ball, and now it was fascinated by Sonya. The atmosphere above Natasha seemed to thicken like the air before a thunderstorm.Sonya and Natasha looked very attractive in the sky-blue dresses they wore to the theater, and they knew they were pretty, so they stood beside the clavichord with charming smiles, and Vera Playing chess with Shen Shen in the living room.The old countess was waiting for her son and husband, and was playing cards with the old noble lady who lived in their house.Denisov, with shining eyes and disheveled hair, sat with one foot thrown back at the clavichord, struck the strings with his short fingers, struck chords, and his eyeballs Gulu whirled around and in his thin, hoarse, yet accurate voice sang his poem "Fantastic Fairies," trying to set the lyrics to it.

magical fairy, please tell me: what power attract me to fiddle Abandoned strings? you are in my heart sowed the fire, what is the inspiration Filled with fingers? He sang with great enthusiasm, and his onyx-black eyes gleamed on the bewildered and deeply happy Natasha. "Beautiful! Wonderful!" cried Natasha. "Sing another part," she said, not noticing that Nikolai had entered. "It's still the same there." Nicholas thought for a while, and he looked into the living room, and saw Vera, his mother and the old woman. "Ah, here comes Nikolenka!" Natasha ran up to him.

"Is Daddy home?" he asked. "How glad I am to have you back!" said Natasha, without answering him. "We're all very happy. Vasily Dmitritch stayed an extra day for me, you know?" "Father is not at home and hasn't come back yet," Sonia said. "Unexpectedly, wise man, you are back, you come to me, my darling," said the Countess's voice from the drawing room.Nikolay went up to his mother, kissed her hand, and sat down at her table without saying a word, looking at her hands which were laying cards for divination.From the hall came laughter and cheery conversations of persuasion to Natasha.

"Come on, all right, all right," cried Denisov, "there's no need for excuses now, it's your turn to sing Barcarolla, I beg you." -------- ①The boat song of Venice, Italy. The Countess turned her head to look at her silent son. "What's the matter with you?" the mother asked Nikolai. "Oh, nothing," he said, as if he was tired of the question being asked, "Is Daddy coming home soon?" "I think I'll be back soon." "They're still the same. They don't know anything! Where should I go?" Nikolay thought for a while, and went again to the hall where the clavichord was placed.

Sonia was sitting at the clavichord, playing the overture to Denisov's favorite gondolier.Natasha wanted to sing.Denisov looked at her triumphantly. Nikolay began to walk up and down the room. "Why force her to sing! What can she sing? That's nothing pleasant," thought Nikolay. Sonia played the first chord of the overture. "My God, I'm ruined, I'm a shameless man. There's only one way, shoot yourself to the forehead, don't sing," he thought for a while, "Go away? But where? It doesn't matter anyway, let them sing!" Nikolai became gloomy, and continued to pace up and down the room, looking now and then at Denisov and the little girls, trying to avoid their eyes.

"Nikolenka, what's the matter with you?" Sonia looked at him intently, as if asking him.She saw at once that something had happened to him. Nikolay turned away from her.Natasha was also very sensitive, and she immediately noticed her brother's expression.Although she saw it, she was so happy at this moment that she didn't think of sorrow, sadness and guilt at all, and she (as is often the case with young people) deliberately cajoled herself, "No, I'm too happy now to I hurt my own happiness by sympathizing with other people's pain." She felt this way, and said to herself, "No, I may be mistaken, he should be as happy as I am."

"Hullo, Sonia," she said, and moved into the middle of the hall, which, it seemed to her, echoed loudest.Like a dancer, Natasha lifted her head a little, lowered her rigidly hanging hands, shifted her weight vigorously from her heels to her toes, walked around the center of the room, and then stopped. "You see, that's what I am!" she seemed to say in reply to Denisov's triumphant look following her. "What is she happy about!" Nikolai thought for a while, looking at his sister. "How is she not lonely and ashamed?" Natasha sang the first note and pulled away. He raised his voice, puffed out his chest, and showed a serious expression in his eyes.At this time, she didn't think of anyone or anything, she spit out sounds one by one, with a smile on the corner of her mouth, anyone can make these sounds at the same time distance and the same interval A thousand times the sound leaves you indifferent, but a thousand and one times it makes you tremble and make you cry.

That winter Natasha sang for the first time in seriousness, especially because her voice delighted Denisov.Now she doesn't sing like a child, there is no longer the funny, child-like effort in her singing, but those expert judges who have heard her sing say that she still sings very well. it is good. "Although I haven't practiced yet, my voice is very good. I should practice it." Everyone said so.But usually everyone said this after a long time after her singing stopped.When the air supply is not correct, the ventilation is laborious, and the untrained singing voice is singing, even these expert referees do not speak, but just appreciate the untrained singing voice, hoping to hear her sing again.Her singing voice contains the innocence of a girl, the ignorance of the charm of singing, and the softness of an untrained voice. All these are connected with the lack of singing skills, which makes people feel that if you don't destroy this voice, then , all this can't change her singing voice in the slightest.

"What's going on here?" Nicholas widened his eyes when he heard her voice, and thought for a while. "What happened to her? How was she singing today?" He thought for a moment.In his view, people all over the world are suddenly waiting intently for the next note, the next line, and everything in the world is divided into three beats: "Oh, miocrudeleaffetto... ① one, two, three, ... one, two ... three ... one ... Ohmiocrudeleaffetto ... one, two, three ... one. Oh, what absurdity our life is!" thought Nikolai. "All this, misfortune, money, Dolokhov, resentment, honor, it's all nonsense... Only this is the real thing. Ho, Natasha, ho Oh, my dear! Oh, what!... How can she sing this si well? Sing it! Thank God!" He himself did not realize that he was singing, and in order to strengthen the si, he used the second note of a high third . "My God! How good! Did I sing it? How lucky!"

He thought about it. -------- ①Italian: Ah, my cruel love... Ah, how the third trembled so much that the best thing in Rostov's soul was touched.It does not depend on everything in the world, it is higher than everything in the world!Casino losses, Dolokhovs, lies, no! ...all nonsense!Even if you kill or steal, you still feel happy when you hear the singing...