Chapter 7 Fragile Heart-2

"Be quiet, for God's sake, be quiet, Vasya! You will finish it, you will finish it! Even if you can't finish it, isn't it a disaster? Isn't it a heinous crime if you don't finish it? !" "Arkady," said Vasya.He looked meaningfully at his friend, and Arkady was frightened to death, for Vasya had never been so terribly frightened. "If I were a lonely bachelor like I used to be... No, that's not what I meant. I've always wanted to tell you this friend, please believe... But why alarm you?You see, Arkady, some people are born for great things, and others, like me, can only do little things.Hey, if someone asked you to be grateful, what would you do? "

"Vasya! I don't understand you at all!" "I've never been ungrateful," Vasya continued in a low voice, as if arguing to himself, "but if I don't express all I feel, it seems... Arkady, as if I were really Ingratitude, and that often makes me feel particularly bad." "What are you talking about! Is it all your gratitude that you finished copying on time? Vasya, think about what you are talking about! Is gratitude expressed here?" Vasya suddenly fell silent.He looked directly into Arkady's eyes, as if Arkady's unexpected argument had dispelled all his doubts.He even smiled a little, but immediately returned to his pensive expression not long ago.Arkady regarded Vasya's smile as the end of all worries, and the renewed panic as a determination to improve, and he was very happy.

"Well, brother Arkasha, when you wake up," said Vasya, "look at me, and it will be a disaster if I fall asleep. Now I will sit down and write . . . will you, Arkasha? " "what?" "No, I didn't say anything, I just...I thought..." Vasya sat down and said nothing more, and Arkady also lay down to sleep. Neither of them talked about big or small people anymore.Maybe they felt something was wrong and shouldn't be overeating.Presently Arkady Ivanovitch fell asleep, though he was still worrying about Vasya.To his great surprise, he woke up at exactly eight o'clock in the morning.Vasya was sleeping on a chair with a pen in his hand, pale and exhausted.One candle has been lit.Mavna was busy making a samovar in the kitchen.

"Vasya, Vasya!" cried Arkady, "when did you go to sleep?" Vasya opened his eyes, jumped up from his chair... "Oh!" said he, "I have fallen asleep! . . . " He immediately ran to look at the documents... Fortunately, there was nothing wrong with it, neither the ink nor the candle grease dripped on the documents. "I think I fell asleep about six o'clock," said Vasya, "it was so cold at night! We finished our tea, and then I..." "Did you eat something?" "Yes, yes, nothing, nothing now! . . . " "Happy New Year! Brother Vasya!"

"Hello, man, hello! Happy New Years to you too, darling!" They hugged.Vasya's jaw trembled, and his eyes were moist.Arkady Ivanovitch was silent: he was in great pain.The two drank tea in a hurry... "Arkady! I've made up my mind to go and greet Yulian Mastakovich myself..." "You know he won't notice..." "But, man, I've got a bad conscience." "Aren't you copying for him, working for him? . . . Enough! You know, man, I gotta go in there . . . " "Where?" Vasya asked. "Go to the Artemyevs' and say Happy New Year to them both on your behalf and mine."

"My darling, my dear! Good! I will stay here. I see that you are thinking well. I am here to work, not to be idle and waste time. Just wait a moment, and I will write a letter at once." "Write, brother, write, there is time! I have to wash, shave, and dress. Well, brother Vasya, we shall be satisfied and happy! Embrace me, Vasya!" "Oh, I hope so, old man! . . . " "Does the civil servant Mr. Shumkov live here?" came a child's voice on the stairs. "Here, man, here," Mavna said, letting the guests in. "What's the matter? What's the matter?" cried Vasya, jumping up from his chair and running into the hall. "Biejka, is it you? . . . "

"Hello! I have the honor to congratulate you on the New Year, Vasily Petrovich!" said a handsome boy of about ten with black curly hair. I kiss you on her behalf..." Vasya threw the little emissary into the air, and gave him a sweet, long, passionate kiss on his small mouth (which was almost exactly like Lizanka's). "Kiss, Arkady!" he said, handing little Petya to Arkady.As soon as his feet hit the ground, little Petya ran into Arkady Ivanovitch's strong, truly greedy arms. "You are my relative, would you like some tea?" "Thank you very much, sir! We just had a drink! Today we got up early. Our family went to pray. My sister curled my hair for two hours, then oiled it, washed it, and sewed it up for me Pants, because I tore them outside with Sashka yesterday: we had a snowball fight..."

"Mmm-mm-mm-mm!" "By the way, she also dressed me up and asked me to come to you. Then she put on hair oil, kissed and kissed me, and said to me: "Go to Vasya's place quickly and wish him a new year, Ask him if he is satisfied, if he slept well at night, and... what else do I need to ask, ah, yes!I also want to ask you if you have finished the work you mentioned yesterday... It seems... Look, I wrote it down here," the little boy said, reading from a piece of paper he took out from his pocket: " By the way, they are worried. " "It will be done, it will be done! Just tell her, it will be done, I promise, it will be done!"

"And . . . oh! I forgot. My sister asked me to bring you a note and a present, but I forgot! . . . " "My God! . . . Oh, my dear! Where . . . where? eh? Look, man, what she wrote me.You know, I saw a purse for me at her place yesterday.It's not done yet.Now, she said, I will give you a lock of hair to stay with you.Dude, you have to pay attention, you must pay attention! " Vassya, overwhelmed with joy, showed Arkady Ivanovich a lock of very thick, very black hair, kissed it passionately, and put it in his side pocket, Make it closer to his heart. "Vasya! I'll order you a box for these hairs!" said Arkady Ivanovitch at last decisively.

"Today we eat roast veal, and tomorrow we eat ox brains. Mom wants to make snacks... no wheat porridge." The little boy said after thinking about how to end the chat. "Oh, what a handsome boy!" cried Arkady Ivanovitch. "Vasya, you are the happiest man!" The little boy drank his tea, took the note, received a thousand kisses, and went out happily, as lively as ever. "Hey, brother," said the cheerful Arkady Ivanovitch, "look how wonderful! You see! Everything is turning for the right, don't worry, don't be timid! Go on bravely." Get it done, Vasya, get it done! I'll be home at two o'clock, first to theirs, then to Julian Mastakovitch's..."

"Well, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye!" said Vasya, "I'm sure I won't go to Julian Mastakovich, good-bye..." "goodbye!" "Wait a minute, man, you wait, you tell 'em, well, what to say, you'll say it, kiss her... tell me all about it when you get back, man..." "Well, well, well, we get it! It's happiness that's driving you crazy! It was unexpected.You have been fidgeting since yesterday, and you are still not free from the impressions you received yesterday.Well, I'm done talking!Pull yourself together, dear Vasya!Goodbye! " Finally, the two friends separated.All morning Arkady Ivanovitch was restless, thinking of Vasya, who he knew was weak and easily irritated. "Yes, it was happiness that stunned him, I was right!" he said to himself. "My God! He makes me sad too. How can this man make a tragedy! What a fanatic he is! Oh, he must be saved! He must be saved!" said Arkady. , he didn't realize it: he raised what seemed to be some small family unhappiness (in fact, it was insignificant) to the height of disaster in his heart.It was not until eleven o'clock that he came to Yulian Mastakovich's porter, and signed his humble name after a long list of respectable ones.The signed paper was splattered with ink.To his great astonishment: Vasya Shumkov's autograph flashed before him! "What's the matter with him?" he thought after his shock.Arkady Ivanovitch, who had come full of hope, went out now disturbed.Really, a catastrophe is looming.But where is it?What kind of disaster is it? He came to Kolomna with a lot of dark thoughts, he was restless at first, and when he came out after talking with Lizanka, his face was full of tears, because he was so scared by Vasya. have to die.He was running home and met Shumkov head-on on the Neva.Shumkov also ran. "Where are you going?" cried Arkady Ivanovitch. Vasya stopped, as if a criminal caught in the act. "Dude, I'm just walking around. I want to go for a walk." "You can't help it, are you going to Kolomna? Oh, Vasya, Vasya! Why are you going to Julian Mastakovitch's?" Vasya did not answer, but then he waved his hand and said: "Arkady! I don't know what's going on with me! I..." "Come on, Vasya, that's enough! I know what's going on. Don't worry! You've been very excited and frightened since yesterday. Think about it, how can you not hold back! Everyone likes you, everyone loves you! I am willing to communicate with you, your work is progressing now, you will finish it, you will definitely finish it, I know: you are thinking about something, you are afraid..." "No, nothing, nothing..." "Remember, Vasya, you must, because something like this has happened to you. Happiness and gratitude used to double your efforts when you got an office, only to spoil a week's work.That's exactly what's happening now..." "Yes, yes, Arkady, but things are different now, quite different from then..." "Why is it different? Hey! The matter may not be urgent at all, but it scares you to death..." "It's nothing, it's nothing, I'm just in a hurry for a while. Okay, let's go!" "Why, you go home! Don't you go to their house?" "No, no, am I going this way? . . . I've changed my mind. I can't sit alone without you. Now that you're with me again, I can sit down and copy. Let's go! They walked without speaking for a long time.Vasya was in a hurry. "Why don't you ask me about them?" said Arkady Ivanovitch. "Oh, yes! Arkady, what?" "Vasya, you are not like yourself!" "Well, nothing, nothing. Tell me everything!" said Vasya in a pleading voice, as if he wanted to avoid further explanations. Arkady Ivanovitch sighed, looking at Vasya almost bewildered. After hearing about the situation of the Kolomna family, Vasya became animated.He even opened up the chatter box, chatting non-stop.They ate.The old lady stuffed Arkady Ivanovitch's pockets with cakes, and the two friends talked and laughed as they ate.After dinner Vasya agreed to sleep in order to work all night.He actually lay down.In the morning Arkady Ivanovitch was invited to tea by someone, and he could not refuse to go.So the friends parted.Arkady said he would try to be back as early as possible, even at eight o'clock if possible.For him, three hours apart is like three years.At last he ran to Vasya.As soon as he entered the house, he saw that it was pitch black, and that Vasya was not at home.he asked Mavna.Mafuna said that he had been copying and didn't sleep at all, and then walked up and down the room. He ran away an hour ago and said he would be back in half an hour. "He said you, the old woman, will tell him as soon as Arkady Ivanovitch comes back," said Mavna at last, "and I went for a walk, and he told me that three times, no, four times. " "He's at the Artemyev's!" Arkady Ivanovitch thought, shaking his head. A minute later, a glimmer of hope appeared in his heart, and he jumped up.He thought that Vasya had probably finished writing, must have finished copying, so he couldn't resist running there.No!He should wait for me... I'll go to his room to have a look! He lit a candle and ran to Vasya's desk: it seemed that the work was progressing, and it was not too far to finish.Arkady Ivanovitch wanted to investigate further, but Vasya came in suddenly... "Ah! Are you here?" He was trembling with fright and cried out loudly. Arkady Ivanovitch was silent, afraid to ask Vasya.Vasya lowered his eyes and also remained silent, and began to sort out the papers.Finally, their eyes met.Vasya's eyes were dull and full of pleading, and when Arkady met him, he couldn't help shaking.His heart also began to tremble, full of unspeakable bitterness! ... "Vasya, my brother, what's the matter with you? What's the matter with you?" he yelled, rushing towards Vasya, hugging Vasya tightly, "explain to me, I don't understand you and you What's the matter with you? You are my suffering brother. What's the matter? Tell me quickly and don't hide anything. It's impossible for this matter..." Vasya clung tightly to Arkady, unable to speak.He couldn't even breathe. "Come on, Vasya, come on! Well, so what if you don't get it done? I don't understand you, speak out about your pain! Do you see, I'm here for you . . . , my God, my God!" he said, striding up and down the room, grabbing whatever came his way, as if he was about to find a cure for Vasya. "Tomorrow I will personally go to Julian Mastakovitch for you, and I beg him, I beg him to give you another day. I will explain everything to him, and since this has caused you pain……" "You mustn't do that!" Vasya yelled loudly, his face was as white as a white powder wall, and he almost couldn't stand up. "Vasya, Vasya! . . . " Vasya woke up.His lips were quivering constantly, trying to say something, but he squeezed Arkady's hand convulsively and silently... His hand was cold. Arkady stood before him, full of sorrow and anxious anticipation.Vasya raised his eyes again to look at him. "Vasya, may God be with you, Vasya! You have broken my heart, my friend, my darling!" Tears poured from Vasya's eyes like raindrops.He threw himself on Arkady's breast. "I have deceived you, Arkady!" he said, "I have deceived you, please forgive me, please forgive me! I have deceived you of your friendship..." "What, Vasya, what are you talking about? What's the matter?" asked Arkady, frightened to death. "Look! . . . " With a gesture of despair Vasya threw six thick notebooks like the one he was copying from the drawer onto the table. "what is this?" "This is what I have to finish copying by the day after tomorrow. I haven't even finished a quarter of it. As for why I haven't finished it, don't ask..." Vasya went on, and immediately began to talk about it How it pained him, "Arkady, my friend! I don't even know what's happened to me! I seem to have just woken up from a dream. I wasted three weeks for nothing. I'm always . . . ...Walk to find her...My heart aches, I feel pain...The reason I don't know...I can't transcribe. I haven't thought about it. Until now, when happiness is about to fall on me Then I woke up." "Vasya!" said Arkady Ivanovitch decisively, "Vasya! I want to rescue you!You listen, you listen to me.I'm going to see Julian Mastakovich tomorrow... Don't shake your head, no, listen!I will tell him the truth of the matter, please allow me to do this...I will explain to him...I will be desperate!I want to tell him, how painful you are, you can't bear to live! " "Do you know, you are killing me by doing this!" Vasya said, his whole body turned cold with fright. Arkady Ivanovitch turned pale at first, but on second thought he burst out laughing. "Is that the thing? Is that the only thing?" he said. "Come on, Vasya, forget it! Aren't you ashamed? Well, listen to me! I see that I make you feel bad." You see, I understand you; I know what's going on in your heart. Thank God we've been together for five years. You're kind and considerate, but weak, unforgivably weak! Lizaveta Mikhainovna found this out too. Besides, you're a dreamer, and you know it's not good. Dude, it's maddening! Listen to me, I know What do you want! For example, you want Julian Mastakovich to be overjoyed, maybe he'll be happy to see you married, give you a ball... Well, wait, wait! You frowned. You see, I say something about Yulian Mastakovich, and you get angry! I won't talk about him. In fact, I have as much respect for him as you do! But if I say You hope that when you get married, there will be no unhappy people in the world, and you don't argue with me, and don't argue with me... By the way, man, you will definitely agree, for example, you hope that I, your best A good friend suddenly has a capital of one hundred thousand; I hope that all the hostile people in the world will suddenly shake hands for no reason, let them embrace each other happily on the street, and then come to your residence as a guest. My friend! My dear Friend! I am not laughing at you, indeed. You have told me almost all of this, in many different forms. Because you are happy, you want all, almost all, to be Be a happy person. You are happy alone, you feel pain, heavy! Because you want to do everything right now to be worthy of your happiness, and maybe to purify your conscience, so you want to make some kind of merit! Well, I understand You, who were prepared to suffer when you were called upon to show your concern, your skill...well, your gratitude, you suddenly show disrespect! Julian Ma When Stakovich sees you failing to live up to his expectations of you, he will frown and even throw a tantrum. It hurts especially when you think about it. Thinking about hearing you call It hurts you to be reprimanded by your benefactor, especially when your heart is full of joy and you don't know whom to pour out your gratitude to! ... Isn't that so? Isn't it so?" Arkady Ivanovitch's throat quivered unceasingly when he had finished speaking, and he fell silent and took a breath. Vasya looked at his friend with love.A smile flitted across his lips. It seems that the anticipation of hope made his facial expression become active. "Well, go ahead and listen," Arkady Ivanovitch began again, encouraged by greater hope. "Try to keep Julian Mastakovich in your favor and preference. Is that so, my dear? The problem is here, right?In that case, I," said Arkady Ivanovitch, jumping up from his seat, "will make a sacrifice for you.I'm going to drive to Julian Mastakovich tomorrow...don't get in my way!You, Vasya, have exaggerated your little mistakes to the point of crime.But he, Julian Mastakovich, is generous and very kind, especially to you!Brother Vasya, he will listen to us and get us out of trouble.Okay, are you relieved? " Vasya held Arkady's hand with tears in his eyes. "That's enough, Arkady, there's no need to say more," he said, "the matter is settled. Well, I didn't finish copying, and that's all right. I didn't finish it. I didn't finish it. You don't have to go either. I will go myself and tell him everything.I'm at ease now, I'm completely at ease, but you don't want to go...you listen to me. " "Vasya, my dear!" cried Arkady Ivanovitch with joy, "I am speaking from your words. I am glad that you have recovered and recovered. But whatever happens to you , no matter what happens to you, I will stay with you, remember that! I find it painful for you and wish I hadn't said anything to Yulian Mastakovich, so I won't, what I don't even talk about it, you can tell it yourself. You see: you will definitely go tomorrow... Or, no, you won't go, you'll stay here and write, understand?I'll go there to find out what's going on with this matter, whether it's urgent, and whether it will be completed on schedule.If it can be postponed, wouldn't the problem be solved?Then I'll run back and tell you... Look, look!Isn't there hope already!Hey, think about it, if things are not urgent, can you buy time?Perhaps Yulian Mastakovich would not mention it at all, and then the problem would be all over. " Vasya shook his head suspiciously.But his grateful eyes never left his friend's face. "Well, that's enough, that's enough! I'm very weak and very tired," he said out of breath, "I don't want to think about it myself. Now, talk about something else! Do you see , I won’t write any more now. I’m going to finish copying only these two pages until the next full stop. Listen...I’ve wanted to ask you a long time ago: How do you know me so thoroughly?” Tears dripped from Vasya's eyes onto Arkady Ivanovitch's hands. "If you knew, Vasya, how much I love you, you wouldn't ask that question, would you?" "Yes, yes, Arkady, I don't know that, because . How many times, especially when I lay down to sleep and think of you (because I always think of you when I fall asleep) I burst into tears and my heart flutters because... well, because you love me so much, But I can't lighten the burden on my heart, and I can't repay your kindness..." "Look, Vasya, look at you! . . . look at how disturbed you are now," said Arkady, whose heart was so tormented that he recalled what had happened in the street yesterday. . "Enough, you want me to be quiet, and I've never been so quiet, so happy! Do you know... Listen to me, I wanted to tell you everything, but I was afraid to upset you... ...You're always sad and yelling at me, but I'm scared...Look, I'm shaking all over now, and I don't know why. Do you know what I'm trying to tell you? I don't think I knew you before— —Yes! The others, I didn't know until yesterday, too. Man, I didn't feel it, I didn't pay enough attention. My heart...is very hard...Listen, how this happened, I don't care about the world I haven't done any good things, because I can't do them, and even my appearance is disgusting... But, everyone has done good things for me! First of all, you, can't I see? I just didn't make a sound, didn't Just hold your breath!" "Vasya, stop talking!" "Very well, Arkasha! Very well! . . . I have nothing..." Vasya broke off, almost speechless with tears. "I was talking to you yesterday about Yulian Mastakovich. You know that he is a very serious man, very strict, and you have been criticized by him several times. But yesterday he suddenly remembered the same thing. I joked, made love to me, and opened to me his good heart, which was closed to everyone..." "Well, Vasya! This just means that you deserve happiness, and you deserve it!" "Oh, Arkasha! How I wish to finish the job! No, I shall ruin my happiness! I have this hunch! Oh no, not by this," Vasya broke off his conversation, because Arkady glanced sideways at the heavy urgent mail on the desk, "That's all right, it's a finished manuscript... Nonsense! That's it! . . . I... Arkasha, I went to them today, but I didn't go in. My heart was heavy, it was so painful! I just stood by the door. She was playing the piano, I listened. Look, Arka season," He lowered his voice and said, "I didn't dare to go in..." "Listen to me, Vasya, what's the matter with you? Are you looking at me like that?" "What's the matter? Nothing! I'm a little sick, my legs are shaking. It's because I've been sitting up all night. Yes! My eyes are black. Here, here..." Pointing to his chest, he passed out. When he regained consciousness, Arkady wanted to take coercive measures.He wanted to force Vasya to sleep on the bed.Vasya did not agree at all.He cried and wrung his hands, he wanted to write, and he had to finish his two pages, and so as not to offend him, Arkady made him sit down at the manuscript paper. "Look," Vasya said as he sat down on his seat, "look, I have an idea, a hope." He smiled at Arkady, and indeed his pale face seemed to be animated by the light of hope. "That's fine: the day after tomorrow, I won't send the whole thing. I lied to him about the rest, telling him that some were burned, some got wet, some were thrown away... Finally I Just said it wasn't finished. I'm not going to lie. You know how I'm going to explain it to him? I'm going to tell him everything. I'm going to say to him, so and so, and so and so, I can't... I'm going to be right He talks about my love, he himself was recently married, he will understand me! All this, of course, I will do it respectfully and quietly. He will see my tears, and the tears will Impressed by his..." "Yes, of course you are going, you go to him quickly and explain clearly... But there is no need for tears here! Why? Vasya, you really frighten me." "Yes, I will go, I will go. But now you let me write, let me write, Arkasha! I won't disturb anyone, let me write!" Arkady threw himself on the bed.He did not believe in Vasya, not at all, that Vasya was capable of anything.But ask for forgiveness?Forgive what and how?The problem is not there.The problem is that Vasya did not fulfill his duties. Vasya felt that he was sorry for himself, that he was sorry for fate, and that he did not repay fate. So Vasya was overwhelmed and overwhelmed by happiness, thinking that he was sorry for happiness, and in the end he kept looking for excuses to go in this direction, and since yesterday he had not woken up from the sudden happiness. "So that's what happened!" thought Arkady Ivanovitch, "he must be rescued, he must be reconciled to himself. He is against himself." He thought and thought and decided. Go to Julian Mastakovich at once, tomorrow, and tell him everything. Vasya sat there copying.Arkady Ivanovitch lay in bed exhausted, trying to think over the matter again, but fell asleep and did not wake up until dawn. "Oh, hell! It's too bad again!" he cried, looking at Vasya.Vasya was sitting and copying. Arkady ran up to him, embraced him, and forced him to the bed.Vasya smiled slightly, his eyes were closed with fatigue.He could barely speak. "I'd like to lie down and sleep myself," he said. "You know, Arkady, I have an idea: I'll finish. I'll write faster! I can't sit still. You call at eight o'clock." I woke up!" Before he finished speaking, he fell asleep, sleeping as if he had died. "Mavna!" Arkady Ivanovich whispered to Mavna, who had come in with the teapot, "he begged to be woken in an hour. Don't disturb him for any reason! Let him sleep well." Even ten hours of sleep is fine. Do you understand?" "I understand, sir!" "You don't have to cook lunch, and you don't have to chop firewood. Don't shout, or you'll look good! If he asks me, just tell him I'm off to work, understand?" "I understand, sir! Let him sleep to his heart's content, I don't care! I'm happy for master to sleep, and I keep his things. A few days ago, he broke a teacup, and master blamed me. It's not me, but It was broken by the kitten, but I didn't look at the cat, and I said, go, damn it!" "Shh, don't talk, don't talk!" Arkady Ivanovitch took Mavna into the kitchen, asked for the key, and locked her there.Then he went to work.Along the way, he thought over and over, how could he go to see Julian Mastakovich, and would it be convenient to do so?Are you not rash?He came to the office in a worried mood, and he timidly asked if your excellency was here.The answer is: he is not here, and he will not come.Arkady Ivanovitch suddenly thought of going to his house, but in time thought that since Yulian Mastakovitch was not at work, it meant that he might be busy at home.So he stayed.Time seemed to him infinitely long.He inquired about the job given to Shumkov by the way, but no one knew.All he knew was that Julian Mastakovich had given him a special mission, but no one knew what it was.At last the clock struck three, and Arkady Ivanovitch ran home.In this hall he was stopped by a clerk, who said that Vasily Petrovich Shumkov had been there, about twelve o'clock.The clerk added that he asked if you and Yulian Mastakovich were here.On hearing this, Arkady Ivanovitch hired a cab and drove home, frightened to death. Shumkov was at home.He paced up and down the room in great agitation.After looking at Arkady Ivanovitch, he seemed to recover at once, his head cleared, and he hastened to conceal his agitation.He sat down in silence to copy. It was as if he avoided answering his friend's questions, which weighed heavily on him, and secretly made up a decision for himself, but had made up his mind not to make his decision public, and never again to rely on friendship.This surprised Arkady, and his heart was struck hard, and he was in great pain.He sat on the bed and opened the only little book he had, but his own eyes were fixed on Vasya's pale face.Vasya remained obstinately silent and kept copying without raising his head.Several hours passed in this way, and Arkady's anguish reached its climax.At ten o'clock Vasya finally raised his head and looked at Arkady with dull, dull eyes.Arkady had been waiting.After two or three minutes, Vasya still did not speak. "Vasya!" Arkady called, but Vasya made no answer. "Vasya!" he called again, jumping off the bed. "Vasya, what's the matter with you? What's the matter with you?" Shouting, he ran to Vasya's side.Vasya raised his head and looked at him again, his eyes still dull and dull. "He is in a daze," thought Arkady, trembling with fright.他抓起一瓶冷水，然后把瓦夏喊起来，给他头上浇水，打湿他的太阳穴，用自己的两手给他搓手。于是瓦夏清醒过来了。 “瓦夏，瓦夏！”阿尔卡季连连喊叫，泪流满面，再也止不住了。 “瓦夏，你千万不要毁了自己，你想起来了吧，快快想起来！……”他没把话说完，热烈地把他抱在自己的怀里。一种沉重的感觉，掠过瓦夏的全身。他搓搓自己的额头，狠狠地抓住自己的脑袋，好像怕它会飞走似的。 “我不知道我是怎么搞的！”他终于开口说话了。“我好像受了重重的内伤，痛苦极了。不过，现在好了！够啦，阿尔卡季，你不要悲伤！够了！”他用忧郁的、疲惫不堪的目光望着阿尔卡季再三反复说道。“你干吗感到不安呢！够啦！” “你这是，你是在安慰我，”阿尔卡季大声嚷叫，他的心都碎了。“瓦夏，”他终于说道，“你躺下，睡一会儿，好吗？ 不要白白地折磨自己！最好以后再坐下来抄写！ " “对，对！”瓦夏重复说道，“你放心！我就躺下，好。对！ 你知道吗，我想干完，但现在改变主意了，对……” 于是阿尔卡季把他拖到床上。 “你听着，瓦夏，”他坚决说道，“必须彻底解决这个问题！ 你告诉我，你到底是怎么想的？ " “哎呀！”瓦夏说完就挥了一下虚弱的手，把头扭到了另一个方向。 “算了吧，瓦夏，你算了吧！快下决心！我不希望成为杀害你的凶手。我再也不能保持沉默了。我知道，既然你没下决心，你是睡不着的。” “随你怎么想吧，随你的便。”瓦夏神秘莫测地重复说道。 “他让步了！”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇这么想道。 “你听听我的话，瓦夏，”他说道，“你回想一下我对你说过的话，我明天一定救你，我明天要决定你的命运！我说的是什么？是命运！瓦夏，你把我吓糊涂了，吓得我学着你的腔调说话。多悲哀！简直是一派胡言乱语，尽是无稽之谈。你不想失去尤利安·马斯塔科维奇对你的好感，对你的偏爱。是的！如果你愿意，你是可以不失去的，这一点你会看到的…… 我……” 阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇还可以谈很久，但瓦夏把他的话打断了。他在床上稍稍抬起自己的身子，默默地用两手搂住阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇的颈脖子，吻了又吻。 “够啦！”他用虚弱的声音说道，“够啦！这事已经说够啦！” 接着他又把脑袋转过来，对着墙壁。 “我的天啦！”阿尔卡季想道，“我的天啦！他出什么事啦？ 他完全糊涂了。他怎么决定这么干呢？他一定会毁了他自己的。 " 阿尔卡季绝望地望着他。 “如果他是得病，”阿尔卡季想道，“那可能还好些。病一好，耽心也就会随着过去，一切事情都会很好处理。我在胡说什么呀！哎呀，我的主呀！……” 与此同时，瓦夏似乎开始打盹了。阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇非常高兴。“好征兆！”他想道。他决定整夜坐在他身边。但是瓦夏自己并不心安。他时不时地抖动，在床上翻来复去，有时又睁开眼看一阵子。最后，疲倦占了上风，他似乎睡下去了，像死人一样。时间已经将近午夜两点。阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇手肘靠在桌子上，身子坐在椅子上睡着了。 他作的梦是非常奇怪而且令人担心的。他老是觉得他没有睡，瓦夏仍然躺在床上。但是这事真怪！他觉得瓦夏正在做假，甚至正在对他进行欺骗，眼看就要悄悄地爬下床来，半睁半闭两眼看着他，然后偷偷地坐到写字台前。一阵剧痛刺激着阿尔卡季的心。看着瓦夏不信任他、躲着他、而且想方设法藏起来，阿尔卡季又是恼火，又是忧伤，又是难过。他想抱住瓦夏，大声喊叫，把他抱到床上去……当时瓦夏在他的手上大喊大叫，而他抱到床上去的只是一具没有呼吸的僵尸。阿尔卡季的额头，冷汗直冒；他的心在可怕地跳动。他睁开两眼，醒过来了。瓦夏正坐在他面前的写字台后面抄写。 阿尔卡季不相信自己的感觉，朝床上望了一眼：那里没有瓦夏。阿尔卡季还没有摆脱恶梦的影响，吓得跳了起来。瓦夏一动也没动，一直在抄写。阿尔卡季突然可怕地发现，瓦夏正在用一支没有沾水的笔，在纸上写来写去，把根本没有写上字的白纸一页一页地翻过去。他急急忙忙地写着，想尽快把纸写满，好像他在以最好的方式，最顺利地进行工作！ “不，他这不是发呆！”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇想道，全身发抖。“瓦夏，瓦夏！你回答我呀！”他抓住瓦夏的肩膀叫道。但是瓦夏默不作声，仍然用不沾水的笔继续在纸上书写。 “我到底还是加快了书写的速度，”他说着，没有抬起头来望阿尔卡季。 阿尔卡季抓住他的一只手，把他的笔抢了过去。 瓦夏的胸中发出一声呻吟。他垂下一只手，抬起一对眼睛，望着阿尔卡季，然后带着一种疲倦而又痛苦的神情用手摸摸前额，似乎想从自己的身上，卸下压在自己身上的一个什么铅一样的沉重包袱，然后轻轻地把头垂到胸前，好像他坠入了沉思。 “瓦夏，瓦夏！”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇绝望地叫喊，“瓦夏！” 过了一会儿，瓦夏看了看他。泪水挂在他的一对天兰色的大眼睛上，他那苍白而温和的面庞表露出无穷的痛苦…… 他在悄悄地说着什么。 “什么，你在说什么呀？”阿尔卡季俯身对着他，嚷叫起来了。 “为什么呢，为什么对我这样？”瓦夏悄声说道，“为什么？ 我干了什么呢？ " “瓦夏！你说什么？你怕什么呀，瓦夏？怕什么呀？”阿尔卡季一边绝望地拧着手，一边大叫大嚷。 “为什么要送我去当兵？”瓦夏直望着自己朋友的眼睛说道，“为什么？我到底干了什么坏事？” 阿尔卡季头上的毛发倒竖着。他不愿意相信。他呆呆地站在瓦夏身旁，活像一个死人。 过了一会儿瓦夏醒过来了。“这是一瞬间的事，会过去的！”阿尔卡季自言自语，脸色苍白，嘴唇发青，不停地抖动，随后就跑去穿衣。他想直接跑去找大夫。瓦夏突然把他喊住。 阿尔卡季朝他扑过去，把他抱住，就像亲生的儿子有人来抢的母亲…… “阿尔卡季，阿尔卡季，你不要告诉任何人！你听着，灾难是我的！让我一个人去承担……” “你说什么？你说什么？你醒醒，瓦夏，你醒醒吧！” 瓦夏叹了一口气，于是，泪水便静静地沿着他的双颊开始流淌。 “为什么要害她呢？她有什么罪，她到底有什么错呢！ ……”他喃喃地说着，声音充满了痛苦，撕心裂肺。“我的罪过，是我的罪过呀！ ..." He was silent for a while. “永别啦，我亲爱的人啊！永别啦，我亲爱的人啊！”他一边小声地说着，一边摇晃着自己可怜的脑袋。阿尔卡季浑身一抖，清醒过来了，想跑去请医生。“我们走吧，到时候啦！” 瓦夏受到阿尔卡季刚才动作的吸引，喊叫起来。“我们走，老兄，我们走，我已准备好了！你送我走吧！”他不再说话，用呆滞的怀疑目光，望了望阿尔卡季。 “瓦夏，看在上帝的面上，你别催我走！你在这里等我。 我马上，马上就回到你这儿来，”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇说道。 他自己也慌了，抓起帽子就跑去请医生。瓦夏马上坐了下来，他是平静而听话的。只是他的眼睛里流露出一种不顾一切的决心。阿尔卡季回来了，他从桌上抓起一把弄弯了的削铅笔用的小刀，最后一次望了望可怜的瓦夏，跑出了住所。 时间已是七点多了。阳光早已驱散了房里的昏暗。 他什么人也没找到。他已经跑了整整一小时，向门房打听医生的住处，打听的结果是所有的医生都不在家，有的因公，有的因私都出去了。只有一个医生接待病人。仆人禀告说涅菲杰维奇来了，这位医生对仆人盘问了好久，问得非常仔细：什么人，谁派来的，有什么要求，甚至问到这位早晨的来访者有什么相貌特征？最后得出的结论是不行，工作太多，离不开，这类病人需要送医院。 当时，受到震动的阿尔卡季，垂头丧气，怎么也没有料到是如此结局，便抛开一切，抛开所有的医生，急忙动身回家。他已经为瓦夏担心到了极点。他跑进住宅时，玛夫娜像没有发生任何事似地，正在擦地板、劈碎引火柴，准备生炉火。他走进房内，瓦夏的踪影全无，他已从院子里走出去了。 “哪去了呢？他在哪里？这个不幸的人会跑到哪里去呢？” 阿尔卡季这么一想，吓得周身冰凉。他开始盘问玛夫娜。她竟然一问三不知，没看见也没听到他是怎么走出去的，上帝宽恕她吧！涅菲杰维奇立即朝科洛姆纳地区奔去。 上帝知道，为什么他想到瓦夏在哪里。 他到达那里，已经九点多了。那里的人没想到他会去，他们什么也不知道，什么也没看见。他站在他们面前神情沮丧，吓得很厉害，一再问他们瓦夏在那里？老太太双腿一软，跌到了沙发上。丽扎卡吓得浑身哆嗦，开始询问发生的情况。What do you say?阿尔卡季赶紧把话叉开，编造了一大通谎话，当然他们并不相信。于是他跑走了，让所有的人留在惊慌之中受罪。他跑到了自己的工作机关，一则起码做到没有迟到，其次是让他们知道情况，尽快采取措施。一路上他突然想起，瓦夏一定在尤利安·马斯塔科维奇那里。这是最可能的。他首先想到的就是这里，其次才是住在科洛姆纳区的那一家。他乘车经过大人的住处时，他本想停下来，但马上吩咐车夫继续往前走。他决定先打听一下，大人是否去了机关，如果不在那里，然后再去见大人，至少可以把瓦夏发生的情况，向他禀报。总得要向上司禀报嘛！ 还在接待室里，他就受到青年同事们的包围。这些人在官阶上大多与他平级，他们异口同声地问他瓦夏出了什么事？ 他们又同时都说瓦夏已经发疯，并且胡说有人要将他送去当兵，因为他没有好好地完成工作任务。阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇回答了所有各个方面提出的问题，或者确切地说，没有正面回答任何人的问题，他在竭力保持内心的平静。他在路上打听到瓦夏在尤利安·马斯塔科维奇的办公室里，于是大家都涌到了那里，埃斯别尔·伊凡诺维奇也到那里去了。他本应停下来。有个职务比他高的人问他到哪里去，有什么事要办？他没看清此人的面孔，说了几句关于瓦夏的话，就迳直走进办公室。从那里面传出的是尤利安·马斯塔科维奇的声音。在门口边，不知是谁在问他：“您到哪里去？”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇几乎被叫慌了神。他本想转身往回走，但从稍稍打开的门缝里，看到了他可怜的瓦夏。他打开门，好歹挤进了房里。那里面乱作一团，笼罩着一片疑惑不解的气氛。看样子，尤利安·马斯塔科维奇非常难过。职务重要一点的人，都站在他身旁，议论纷纷，但什么决定也没有作出。瓦夏站在稍远一点的地方。阿尔卡季望了一眼，胸口顿时发堵。瓦夏站在那里，脸色苍白，昂着头，身子挺得笔直，两手紧贴着裤侧缝。他两眼直勾勾地望着尤利安·马斯塔科维奇的眼睛。阿尔卡季·涅菲杰维奇马上被人发现了，有个知道他和瓦夏同住在一起的人，向大人作了禀报。于是阿尔卡季被带了过去。他想回答提出的问题，望了望尤利安·马斯塔科维奇，发现大人的脸上，表露着真诚的怜惜之情，他心地为了一震，不由得像孩子一样，痛哭嚎啕起来。他甚至更进了一步：跑过去抓住大人的手，送到自己的眼睛边，让泪水滴到了手上，使得尤利安·马斯塔科维奇不得不赶紧抽出来，在空中一挥，说道：“唔，算了吧老弟，算了，看得出来，你有一颗善良的心。”阿尔卡季一边放声大哭，一边频频向所有的人投过去哀求的目光。他觉得，所有的人都是他可怜的瓦夏的兄弟，他们也都为瓦夏难过、哭泣。“怎么会，他怎么会出这种事呢？”尤利安·马斯塔科维奇说道，“他到底是为什么发疯呢？” “为了报……报恩！”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇好不容易才说出来。 他们听了他的回答，疑惑不解。他们觉得他的回答是奇怪的，难以令人难以置信：为什么一个人因为报恩就可能发疯呢？阿尔卡季竭尽所能，加以解释。 “天哪，多可惜！”尤利安·马斯塔科维奇终于开口说话了。“其实，交给他的那件工作并不重要，而且根本不急。一个人就这么给毁了！没法子，快把他带走吧！……”这时，尤利安·马斯塔科维奇又转身对着阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇，又开始详详细细地问他。“他要求，”他指着瓦夏说道，“不要将此事告诉一位什么姑娘，她是他的未婚妻吗？” 阿尔卡季开始加以解释。就在这个时候，瓦夏似乎在想一件什么事，好像怀着极其紧张的心情，想起了一件正是现在用得着的重要东西。他有时痛苦地转动一双眼睛，好像希望别人提醒他忘记了的事情。他两眼直望着阿尔卡季。最后，似乎希望之光突然在他的眼睛里闪了一下，他左脚向前跨出三步，尽量走得灵活一些，然后就像士兵一样，甚至用右靴子嗑的一声靠了上去，走到叫唤他的军官面前。大家都在等着看他还要干什么。 “我生理上有缺陷，大人，气力弱，个子小，我不适合当兵。”他断断续续说道。 这时，所有在房里的人，不管他是谁，都觉得好像有人在揪他们的心，甚至像性格非常坚强的尤利安·马斯塔科维奇，也止不住流出了眼泪。“快把他带走，”他把手一挥，然后说道。 “是！”瓦夏轻轻地说道，然后身子由左向后转，走出房去。凡是关心他的命运的人，也跟在他的后面跑了出去。阿尔卡季跟在其他人的后面挤。大家让瓦夏坐在接待室，等候吩咐，等马车来送他上医院。他默默地坐着，似乎心中非常不安。认出一个人来，就向那人频频点头，好像要同那人告别似的。他隔一会儿就朝门口望一望，等着别人说“该走啦！” 他四周紧紧地围了一圈人，他们全都摇头叹息。他的经历已经尽人皆知，使不少人感到震惊。有些人议论，另一些则对瓦夏表示惋息和赞叹，说他是一位谦虚、文静的青年，前程无可限量；也有些人说他学习刻苦努力，待人彬彬有礼，是一个努力上进的人。 “他是靠自己的力量出人头地的！”有人这么说道。大家以赞美的口吻谈到大人对他的偏爱。有些人开始解释他发疯的原因，为什么瓦夏想到他没完成工作任务，就会被送去当兵呢？有些人说这个可怜人不久前才从纳税人变为小职员，而且这全靠尤利安·马斯塔科维奇善于发现他有才华，听话，而且少有的温顺。总而言之，大家议论纷纷，莫衷一是。在受到震惊的人中，有一个人特别引人注目，他个子很小，是瓦夏·舒姆科夫的同事。他还相当年轻，大概三十左右。他面色惨白，浑身颤抖不停，而且笑得很奇怪，也许是因为任何一件荒唐事或者可怕的场面，都会使旁观者既感到可怕，又似乎感到有点高兴的原故。他在包围瓦夏·舒姆科夫的人群周围，不时地跑动，因为他个子矮小，有时踮起脚尖，有时抓住别人的钮扣（当然是抓他有权抓的人），并且老是说这一切发生的原因，他全知道，还说这件事不但不简单，而且相当重要，不能放下不管。后来他又踮起脚尖，附着一位看者的耳朵、低声咕噜了一通，又点了两下头，继续跑去。最后，一切就要结束了：来了一位看门的，医院里来了一名护士。他们走到瓦夏身旁，告诉他该走了。他跳起来，忙乎了一阵，左顾右盼地跟着他们走去。他一直在用眼睛找一个什么人！ “瓦夏！瓦夏！”阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇一边痛哭嚎啕，一边大声叫喊。瓦夏停下脚步，阿尔卡季也挤到了他的身边。他们最后一次相互拥抱，紧紧地搂在一起……看着他们的样子，真叫人难过！多么荒唐的不幸使他们泪如雨下啊！他们在哭什么呢？这灾难在哪里？为什么他们相互不理解呢？ ... “给，给，你拿着！把这个好好保存起来，”舒姆科夫一边说，一边把一个小纸包塞到阿尔卡季的手里。“他们会从我这里拿走的。你以后给我带来，带来；你要好好保存……”瓦夏没把话说完，就被叫住了。他急急忙忙从楼梯上跑下去，向大家频频点头，同大家道别。他脸上是一片绝望的表情。最后他被塞进马车，拉走了。阿尔卡季赶紧打开纸包一看，原来是丽扎的那撮黑发。对于这撮黑发舒姆科夫是怎么也舍不得离开的。阿尔卡季的眼里立即涌出一串串的热泪。“啊呀，可怜的丽扎！” 下班的时间一到，他就去找科洛姆纳区里的那一家人。那里的情况就不必说了！连别佳，根本不理解善良的瓦夏出了什么事的小别佳，也走到房角里，小手捂着脸，放声痛哭起来。阿尔卡季回到家里，已是夜色朦朦了。他走到涅瓦河边，站立了一会儿，沿着河岸极目远眺，远方烟雾迷漫，寒冷、混浊，血红的晚霞在远方的天边，形将熄灭，但它的余辉却突然把远方染得通红。夜幕降临到城市的上空，涅瓦河两岸是一片万里无垠、因冻雪而膨胀的原野，照着夕阳的余辉，闪烁着无数针状形的雪霜，好像点点火花。气温达到了零下二十度……被赶得快要累死的马匹身上，从奔跑的人们的身上散发出冰结的水气。任何一点细小的声音，都能使受到压抑的空气颤抖起来。沿河两岸的房顶上空升起的烟柱，在上升的途中时分时合，沿着寒冷的天空，向上飞腾，好像旧房子上面又出现了新的房屋，在空中形成了一座新的城市……最后，好像这整个世界，包括它的全体居民，强者与弱者，连同他们所有的住房，穷人的贫民窟，乞丐的收容所，或者金碧辉煌的宫殿——这个世界强者的乐园，在这薄暮的时刻，活像一场荒诞离奇的神秘幻想，一场马上就会消失的幻梦，化成一缕青烟，飘向深蓝色的天空。一个奇怪的念头，突然出现在因失去可怜的伙伴瓦夏而变得孤苦伶仃的阿尔卡季·伊凡诺维奇的脑海中。他的身子抖动了一下，他的心里好像在一刹那间，突然热血沸腾，这是一种强大的、他迄今为止尚不熟悉的感觉造成的。他似乎直到现在才完全理解这种胆战心惊的心情，直到现在才知道为什么他可怜的瓦夏经不起自己幸福的考验，居然发疯。他的两唇开始颤抖，眼睛发花，他的脸色开始变得苍白起来，好像此刻看到了什么新的东西…… 他变得寂寞无聊、郁郁寡欢，失去了往日的愉快。他憎恨原来的住房，另租了一套。他不想去看科洛姆纳厄的那一人家，当然也无法可去。两年以后，他在教堂里遇见丽扎卡。 她已经结婚，后面跟着她妈妈，抱着一个吃奶的婴儿。他们相互问好以后，好长时间都回避谈论往事。丽扎说，她谢天谢地，非常幸福，她不穷，丈夫为人善良，她很爱他……突然，在言谈之中她的两眼，噙满了泪水，声音低了下去，她赶紧背转身去，靠在教堂的台架上，为的是不让人看到她的痛苦。 ...