Chapter 15 Chapter Fifteen: Nicanor's Dream

It was easy to guess that the fat, red-faced man in Ward 119 of the Stravinsky Hospital was Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoi, the director of the Housing Management Office. However, he didn't come here directly, and he stayed elsewhere for a while before that. Not much remained of that place in Nikanor Ivanovich's memory.Now he only remembers a desk, a cupboard, and a chair. Someone spoke to him there.At that time, he only felt agitated in his heart, blood rushed to his head, and his eyes were blurred.The conversation, therefore, seemed to him to be very peculiar and confused, but, in fact, to be more precise, it was not done at all.

The first question people put to Nikanor Ivanovich was: "You are Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoi, the director of the Real Estate Management Committee of Building B, No. 302 Garden Street, right?" To this Nikanor Ivanovich laughed wildly, and then gave the following answer: "I'm Nicanor, of course I'm Nicanor! But what kind of director am I? Damn it!" "What does that mean?" the interrogator looked into his eyes. "That's what it means," he said. "If I were the director, I should immediately conclude that he is a devil! Otherwise, what's going on? Pince-nez with a broken lens... in rags... How can he be a foreign guest?" translation?!"

"Who are you talking about?" "Karroviev!" shouted Nikanor, "this guy lives in house No. 50 in our building! You write it down: his surname is Karloviev! He should be arrested immediately! You write it down: the sixth door .He lives there." "Where did you get your foreign currency?" People asked in a very serious and sincere tone. "God knows, Almighty God sees everything," said Nicanor, "and I, Nicanor, deserved it! I have never touched any foreign currency with my hands, and I have never seen what foreign currency looks like! Punish me, I have committed a crime!" Nicanor continued sadly.He unbuttoned his shirt for a while, buttoned it again, and crossed himself again, "I accepted it! I accepted it! But all I received was our Soviet money! Whoever gives me the money, I will do it for him." I don’t dispute that this happened before. But our secretary, Prolezhnev, is not bad, he’s even more interesting! Let me tell you the truth: the housing management office is full of shouts! But I’m sure about foreign currency I haven't received it!"

The interrogator advised him not to pretend to be crazy, but to honestly explain the origin of the dollars in the ventilation tunnel.Nikanor Ivanovich dropped to his knees, swayed, opened his mouth as if to gnaw the parquet floor, and said piteously: "You can gnaw the floor or eat dirt, but I have never accepted foreign currency. Karlovy Vary is a devil!" There is a limit to people's patience.The person sitting behind the desk asking questions has raised his voice.They warned Nikanor Ivanovich: "It's time to talk!" At this moment, Nicanor suddenly let out a scream. He jumped up from the floor and shouted loudly:

"That's him! The one behind the cupboard! He's still smiling! That's the pince-nez he's wearing... Get him! Spray the whole house!" Nikanor Ivanovitch's face was completely pale, he was trembling, he kept making the sign of the sign of the cross in the air, he rushed to the door and came back, he muttered something like a prayer, and finally he began to utter nonsense. Apparently, Nikanor Ivanovich was no longer the subject of any conversation.They took him out and put him in another room.There he calmed down a little, but kept praying and sobbing. Of course, people have been to Fa Yuen Street, and they have also checked the No. 50 house, but they have not found any Karlovy Vaughan, and the residents of the same door do not know such a person, and no one has seen him.The house No. 50 where the late Berlioz shared with Likhodeyev, who had gone to Yalta, was completely empty, and the wax seal hanging on the door of Berlioz's study cabinet was intact, without any trace of opening.Those who came to Huayuan Street to investigate found nothing and had to return to the agency.However, there was one other person who went with them, and that was the panicked and depressed secretary of the house management office, Prolezhnev.

That night, Nikanor Ivanovich was admitted to the Stravinsky Hospital.After being admitted to the hospital, he was extremely restless at first, and the doctors had to inject him with the medicine formulated according to the dean's formula.In the second half of the night, Nicanor finally fell asleep in Ward No. 119, groaning in pain from time to time in his dream. But the longer Nikanor Ivanovich slept, the more relaxed he felt.He no longer tossed and turned, no longer moaned in pain, and his breathing became long and even.Only then did the person who guarded him leave quietly. At this time, Nikanor Ivanovich had a dream, and there was no doubt that the situation in the dream was basically his experience that day.At first, Nicanor dreamed that a group of people with golden trumpets came to meet him and escorted him with great ceremony in front of two luxuriously painted doors.Nikanor Ivanovich was greeted at the door, and then he heard a loud bass speaking to him from mid-air:

"Welcome, Nikanor Ivanovitch! Please hand over your foreign currency!" Nicanor was amazed, and when he looked up, it turned out that there was a black loudspeaker hanging above his head. Then he somehow found himself in another theater.Clusters of twinkling crystal chandeliers hung from the gold-decorated vaults, and novelty sconces adorned the walls.Although the audience hall is not big, it is very luxuriously decorated and has everything you need.In front of it was the stage, hung with a fuchsia velvet curtain, inlaid with large gold coins, like stars in the night sky.In front of the stage, there is also a small room dedicated to prompters, and there are many spectators in the field.

Nicanor found it strange that all the audience was of the same sex—male, and all of them had beards for some reason.In addition, what is even more surprising is that there is not a single seat in the entire theater, the floor has been replaced with shiny oil, and all the audience are sitting on the floor. When Nicanor came to this new environment and saw so many people, he felt a little embarrassed, but after hesitating for a moment, he imitated everyone and sat cross-legged on the parquet floor like the Turks.To his left and right were a bearded burly man with red hair and a stubbled, pale man.No one in the audience expressed any interest in his newcomer.

At this time, a soft bell rang, the lights in the auditorium were extinguished, the curtain was drawn back, and a brightly lit stage appeared in front of the people. There was only a soft chair and a small table on the stage. Bells, and a black velvet curtain at the back of the stage. A young actor in evening dress, clean-shaven and parted, came out from behind the scenes.The audience moved, and people turned to the stage.The actor walked to the prompt room, rubbed his hands, and asked the audience in a pleasant baritone voice: "Everyone is still sitting here?" He smiled at everyone.

"Sit here, sit here!" Voices of different heights answered in unison. "Huh..." the actor said thoughtfully, "I really don't understand, you people are not bored? The spring is so beautiful and the weather is so warm. People are walking on the street at this time, enjoying life, But you are sitting on the floor in this stuffy hall! Is the program here so attractive? But it’s hard to say, everyone has their own preferences!" He ended his opening remarks with this philosophical sentence . Then, switching to an entirely different tone and intonation, he announced loudly and cheerfully:

"Okay, let's go on with the show. The next show will be Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoi, the chairman of the estate management committee and the manager of the nutrition canteen. Now we welcome him on stage!" The audience unanimously applauded and supported the actor's invitation, but Nikanor Ivanovich stared, stunned and at a loss.At this time, the host of the show had already set up an awning to block the lights in front of the stage, found him among the audience, and was kindly calling him to go on stage.Nicanor himself got on stage somehow. The colored lights from below and in front of him pierced his eyes, and he felt that the whole hall and audience were lost in darkness. "Come on, Nikanor Ivanovitch, set an example to everyone and hand over your foreign currency!" said the young actor in a sincere tone. There was silence in the theater.Nikanor Ivanovitch took a breath and said in a low voice: "I swear by God, I..." As soon as he uttered half a sentence, the venue was flooded with angry shouts.Nicanor didn't know what to do, so he had to shut up.At this time, the actor who hosted the show said: "As I understand it, you want to swear by God that you have no foreign currency, don't you?" He looked at Nikanor Ivanovich with sympathy. "Exactly. I haven't," answered Nikanor Ivanovitch. "Well," said the actor, "with all due respect, where did that four-hundred-dollar bill found in the toilet come from? No one lives in that house but you and your wife!" "It was created by magic!" Someone shouted loudly in the dark hall, obviously mocking him. "That's it, created by magic!" Nicanor said timidly, as if answering the actor's question, and as if confirming someone in the hall interrupted.Then he explained: "It was the devil, and it was released secretly by a translator in checkered clothes." There was another angry shout in the hall.After a calm, the actor said: "Look, here he is telling us the fables of La Fontaine! Four hundred dollars have been surreptitiously given to him! You are all foreign currency resellers, and I ask you foreign currency experts: this kind of thing can be done. Can you imagine?" ① Jean de La Fontaine (1621-1695), one of the representative writers of French classicism, a famous fable poet.The representative work is "Fable Poetry". "We don't resell foreign currency!" There were several aggrieved voices in the hall, "However, this kind of thing is really unimaginable." "I'm all for it," said the actor firmly, "and I'd like to ask you all: what can one sneak away for someone else?" "Bastard!" someone shouted in the hall. "Exactly," the program host said affirmatively. "Others may secretly give you illegitimate children, anonymous letters, secret leaflets, time bombs, and all kinds of other things, but no one can secretly put you down four times." Hundred-dollar bills! There are no such idiots!" Then turning to Nikanor, he said sadly and sarcastically: "Nikanor Ivanovich, you have disappointed me so much. There is great hope. You see, our show has not performed well.” At this moment there was boos and whistles in the hall, and someone shouted at Nicanor. "He is reselling foreign currency! It is because of people like him that we all suffer innocently!" "You don't have to scold him," said the host, magnanimously, "he will repent." Then turning his blue eyes full of tears of sympathy to Nikanor, he said: "Nikanor Ivanovich, Go down first and go back to your seat!" Then the actor rang the bell and announced aloud: "Break in between, you bastards!" Nikanor Ivanovitch was greatly shocked, and somehow he himself became a participant in the theatrical performance.He returned to his place and sat down on the floor again.At this time, he dreamed that the whole hall seemed to have sunk into a dark abyss, and several red characters jumped out from the surrounding walls: "Hand over the foreign currency!" Invite someone to come on stage: "Now we welcome Sergei Graldovich Dunzir to the stage!" Dunkiel looked to be in his fifties, with elegant manners and personable manners, but it was obvious that he hadn't had time to take care of his clothes and appearance for a long time.After he took the stage, the host of the show said: "Sergei Graldovitch, you have been sitting here for a month and a half, and you have stubbornly refused to hand over your remaining foreign currency. You know, the country is in great need of foreign currency at the moment, and foreign currency is of no use to you. But you still stubbornly refuse to hand in. You are a knowledgeable and educated person, you know everything, but you just don’t want to cooperate with us.” "Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do, because I really don't have any foreign currency anymore." Dunkill replied calmly. "So at least you still have some diamonds?" asked the actor. "Not even diamonds." The actor lowered his head, thought for a while, and then clapped his palms.As soon as the applause fell, a middle-aged woman dressed as a man walked out from behind the scenes—she was wearing a spring coat with a small round collar and a small round hat, and she looked a little uneasy.Dunkiel glanced at her, without making a move. "Who is this lady?" the show host asked Dunkiel. "It's my wife." Dunkill answered calmly, and glanced at the woman's slender neck, as if a little disgusted. "Mrs. Dunkill," said the presenter to the woman, "we are asking you to come today for one thing: We would like to ask if your husband has any foreign currency?" "He handed it all over at that time," Mrs. Dunkill replied excitedly. "Well, then," said the actor, "since you say so, let it be so. Now that Sergei Graldovich has handed over everything, we must say goodbye to him and send him home." .That’s all. 2 Sergey Graldovich, if you want to go, you can leave here now.” The actor said, making a solemn gesture of seeing off the guests. Dunkill still had a calm demeanor, he turned around and walked towards the backstage with square steps. "Please wait a little longer," the program host immediately stopped him, "There is still a small episode in our program list, I would like to invite you to watch it before we leave." He clapped his hands again as he said. Then, the black curtain deep in the stage opened slowly, and another woman came out from inside.She was young and beautiful in her ball gown, and she came to the front desk with a little gold tray in both hands.The audience saw: the tray contained a thick stack of banknotes tied with floral ribbons, and a pair of banknotes flashing blue and yellow.Brilliant diamond necklaces in various colors of red. Dunkiel took a step back, his face turning pale.The audience was silent. "Here is eighteen thousand dollars and a diamond necklace worth forty thousand ducats!" the host announced triumphantly. From the hands of my lover Ida Gerkulanovna Walls. Ida Gerkulanovna is standing before you now. We are very happy to see her, because she is the one who helped us Discovered these invaluable treasures, which are utterly useless in private hands. Thank you very much, Ida Gerkulanovna!" The beautiful woman showed her bright teeth and smiled, and her fluffy eyelashes fluttered a few times.At this point the actor turned to Dunkiel and said: "You have a sanctimonious appearance, but underneath that coat hides a ravenous spider, a monstrous liar, and a liar. Your stupidity and obstinacy have tortured everyone here for a whole month and a half. Now you can return You have gone home, your wife will arrange a hell for you, let’s let hell punish you first." Dunkiel staggered, as if about to fall, but immediately concerned hands grabbed his arms.At this time, the curtain fell quickly, covering all the people on the stage. Crazy applause shook the whole theater, and Nicanor felt that even the light of the chandelier was shaking.When the black curtain in front of the stage was raised again, there was only one host left alone on the stage, and the others disappeared.He stopped the applause again with his hand, nodded to the audience, and said: "On our show, Dunkill just played the role of a typical jackass. I had the honor to tell you yesterday that there is no point in keeping foreign currency privately. I advise you to believe that no one under any circumstances There is no possibility of using these foreign currencies. Take this Dunkill as an example. He has a good salary every month, and he lives well. He has a wonderful house, a wife, and a beautiful mistress. He He should have handed over his foreign currency and precious stones and lived his peaceful life without all this trouble. But he, no. Today, this selfish fool finally ended up making a fool of himself in public, plus A sea of ​​jealousy in the family! Well, who else has to pay? No foreign currency? ... Then, on to the next program. We have invited the famous and talented theater actor Sava Potapovich Kurolesov came to show us an excerpt from the play "The Miserly Knight" by the poet Pushkin." ① One of Pushkin's four minor tragedies, writing about a miser baron who regards money as his "master".He was eventually mad at his son to death in public, and before he died, he couldn't forget the key to the gold cabinet in his cellar.The "His Royal Highness" mentioned below refers to the Grand Duke in the play, and the "son" refers to the baron's son Alibel. Kurolesov soon appeared in front of the stage.He was a tall, fat man, clean-shaven, in a tailcoat and white tie. He didn't even make an opening remark, and immediately put on a gloomy face, frowned tightly, glanced sideways at the golden bell on the small table, and said in an extremely unnatural voice: "I'm like a young prodigal son, going to meet that lustful whore..."① ①This sentence and the "unfortunate widow" with several orphans mentioned below, and the words about the goddess "Muses" all come from the baron's monologue in "The Miserly Knight". Then Kurolesov said a lot of bad things about himself.Nikanor Ivanovich heard: Kurolesov's public confession that an unfortunate widow had knelt in the rain and cried to him in pain, but even this did not move his hard heart.Before this dream, Nikanor Ivanovich knew nothing about the works of the poet Pushkin.But he knew the name Pushkin, not only did he know it, but he always mentioned it several times a day.For example, he often said something like: "Then who will pay for the house? Let Pushkin pay?" "The light bulb in the corridor, so to speak, was pushed away by Pushkin?" Kerosene? " Now Nikanor Ivanovich learned of such a work by Pushkin.He imagined the widow kneeling and begging in the rain with several orphans, and he felt sad in his heart, and he couldn't help thinking to himself: "This Kurolesov is really nothing!" At this time, Kurolesov on the stage was still crying loudly, but his words became more and more incomprehensible to Nikanor, because he suddenly spoke to someone who was not on the stage, and then replaced him. Answering yourself, calling yourself "His Royal Highness" now, "Baron" now, "father" now, "son" again, "you" and "you" again , it just confuses people. Nikanor Ivanovich understood only one thing: the actor died miserably, and before he died, he was still shouting "the key, my key!" loosen his tie. He saw that after the actor Kurolesov died, he stood up again on the stage, brushed off the dirt on his dress pants, saluted the audience with a smile on his face, and retreated behind the scenes amid sparse applause.After he left, the show host came out and said: "Just now we all saw the wonderful performance of Sava Potapovich - "The Miserly Knight". The knight had hoped that all kinds of merry goddesses would come to worship him, the muses would pay him attention, and many things would happen and so on. But, as you can see, none of these things happened, no goddess came to him, no muses came, and he built no splendid palace, on the contrary, died Miserably, he crashed into his own gold chest and died. I also want to warn everyone here that if you don't hand over your foreign currency, your fate will be like this knight's fate, and it may be worse than his fate!" I don't know whether it was Pushkin's work that exerted its power or the host's confession played a role, but a voice in the hall said shyly: "I am willing to pay." "Please come to the stage." The show host looked at the dark hall and invited politely. A short, fair-looking man came onto the stage, who looked as if he hadn't shaved for three weeks. "Excuse me, what's your last name?" the program host asked. "My surname is Kanavkin, and my name is Nicholas," replied the visitor shyly. "Oh, very well, Citizen Kanavkin, and you? . . . " "I'll pay it." Kanavkin said in a low voice: "How much to pay?" "A thousand dollars and twenty gold ten-ruble pieces." "Well, that's all you have?" asked the host, looking straight into Kanavkin's eyes.It seemed to Nikanor that the two rays of light from the eyes of the presenter penetrated Kanavkin's whole body like X-rays.Everyone in the hall held their breath. "I believe!" exclaimed the actor at last withdrawing his gaze. "I believe you! Your eyes show that you are not lying. I have told you many times that your main mistake is in the meaning of human eyes." Underestimation. You should understand: the tongue can cover up the truth, but the eyes can never do this! When someone suddenly asks you a question, you) control yourself, and you don’t even take a moment. You know what to do Answer, how to cover up your true feelings, and speak clearly and convincingly, without moving any wrinkles on your face; but unfortunately, at the moment you are questioned, your touched true feelings will be It suddenly jumped into your eyes from the depths of your heart! So, everything is over. If the truth is discovered, you will be caught on the spot!" After the host of the show had delivered these very convincing words with great enthusiasm, he kindly asked Kanavkin: "Where is it hidden?" "At my aunt's, her name is Porokhovnikova, she lives in Prechsinka..." "Ah! This is... let me see... this is Klavdia Ilyinichna's house, isn't it?" "Exactly" "Oh, yes, yes! Is it a small detached house? There is a small garden opposite? Yes, I know this place, I know! Where did you put it?" "In the cellar, in a pastry box..." The actor clapped his hands together and said sadly: "Oh, have you all seen such a thing? These things will get damp and moldy if they are placed there! Look, can people feel at ease when foreign currency is placed in the hands of such people? Ah? It's like a child! Really! !" Kanavkin himself realized that it was a foolish thing to do, a great mistake, and bowed his shaggy head. "This money," continued the actor, "should be kept in the National Bank, in a dry, very safe place built for the purpose, and not in some aunt's cellar. It would be bitten by rats." Bad! What a shame! Kanavkin! You are not a child!" Kanavkin was so ashamed that he couldn't bear it, and kept rubbing the skirt of his coat with his hands. "Well, that's fine," the actor's tone softened, "There's no need to repeat the past..." But he changed the subject and asked suddenly, "But, by the way, doesn't your aunt herself have a problem?" Huh? It would be nice to solve it once, so as not to send a car all the time..." Kanavkin didn't expect such a turn of events, and couldn't help shivering.The audience fell silent again. "Oh, Kanavkin, Kanavkin!" the host was silent for a moment, and then reprimanded mildly, "I praised you just now! But you're not going on the right track all of a sudden! That's not good Kanavkin! Didn’t I just tell you about the meaning of eyes? You can tell, your aunt’s must have them. Hmm? Why do you bother us?” "Yes!" Kanavkin boldly exclaimed. "Very good!" the actor also shouted loudly. "Very good!" A terrible cry broke out from the audience. After the meeting had calmed down, the host of the show shook hands with Kanavkin, congratulated him, allowed him to go home, and suggested that a car be sent to take him back to the city, while ordering a person behind the scenes to follow the car, When I came back, I took Kanavkin's aunt to another theater dedicated to women to watch the same show. "Oh, by the way, I still want to ask you, did your aunt say where her things are hidden?" The host asked politely, and at the same time handed Kanavkin a cigarette and stroked it. a match.Kanavkin shook his head with a wry smile while lighting his cigarette. "I believe, I believe," said the actor with a sigh, "not only the old miser would not tell his nephew, but even the devil would not tell such a thing. Come on, let's try and try to awaken the human spirit in her." Feelings. I hope there are still a few human strings in this rotten soul. Well, farewell, Kanavkin!" The happy Kanavkin drove back.Actors were among those present who were planning to hand over foreign currency.The audience responded with a long silence. "You people are queer, queer!" The actor shrugged and retreated behind the scenes. The lights in the theater went out.For a while it was pitch black.In the darkness, an excited tenor voice was heard singing in the distance: There is a mountain of gold there, and it is my property! Then, there were two applause from a distance. "This is someone handing out foreign currency in a theater dedicated to women!" The man with a maroon beard beside Nicanor suddenly explained.The man sighed and added, "Well, if I hadn't got those geese! I tell you, my dear, I have some fighting geese in Lyanozovo. I'm not at home, I I'm afraid they will starve to death. These fighting geese are very delicate and must be carefully fed... Oh, if it weren't for those geese, I wouldn't be afraid to play Pushkin's trick!" He sighed again. ① Lianozovo is a villa village about 20 kilometers outside Moscow. Then the lights came on in the theater.Nikanor Ivanovich dreamed that all the doors of the theater were opened, and cooks in white hoods came in through them with large soup ladles.They hauled into the hall the vats of the day's soup, and a large case of sliced ​​brown bread.The audience sitting on the ground became active, and the cheerful cooks walked among these "drama lovers", scooping soup into everyone's bowls and distributing bread to them. "Let's eat lunch, guys!" shouted the cook as he served the soup, "hand over your foreign currency when you're done! Why are you staying in this place? I don't believe you're willing to drink this rotten vegetable soup?! Hand over your foreign currency Then you can go home, have a few drinks and eat some appetizers, how nice it is!" "Hey, just you old man, why are you sitting here?" said a fat red-necked cook to Nikanor Ivanovich, handing him a bowl of vegetable soup in which there was only A lone cabbage leaf. "I don't, I don't! I don't!" Nicanor's cry made people feel scared, "Do you understand, I don't!" "No?" The cook's voice was low and menacing.Then he changed into a soft woman's voice and asked: "Is there not?" At this moment the cook herself turned into the female doctor Praskovya Fedorovna, and she said softly in a comforting tone. : "You didn't, you didn't." The nurse was shaking the shoulders of Nikanor Ivanovich, who was moaning in his dream.Thus, the cook, the theater, the curtain, etc. all disappeared.Nikanor Ivanovich opened his tearful eyes and saw the hospital ward where he was staying and two men in white smocks.But it was not the cooks who interfered rudely in other people's private affairs, but Praskovya Fedorovna, the hospital doctor and physician, who was holding not a soup bowl but a small tray , the syringe in the tray is covered with gauze. "What is this?" Nikanor was still muttering to himself in pain when the injection was given, "I don't have it, not at all! Let Pushkin pay them foreign currency, I don't have it!" "You haven't, you haven't," said the kind Praskovya Fedorovna reassuringly, "if you haven't, you haven't, and it's not your fault." After the injection, Nicanor calmed down and soon fell into a deep sleep without any dreams. However, his yell just now woke up the patient next door.The patient in ward 120 woke up and looked for his head, while the unknown master in ward 118 rubbed his hands anxiously, looking sadly at the bright moon outside the window, recalling that painful, last autumn day in his life At night, I seemed to see a ray of moonlight coming in from under the semi-basement door and a stray lock of hair in the moonlight. The unease of No. 118 was transmitted to the poet Ivan's room through the balcony, and Ivan woke up from his dream and burst into tears. But the doctor quickly silenced all the disturbed, sick-minded people.The patients gradually fell asleep again.Ivan was the last sleeper. When he fell asleep, it was already dawn on the Moskva River.After taking the medicine, the power of the medicine quickly spread throughout his whole body, and he felt a sense of tranquility slowly filling his body and mind like continuous waves. drowsy.He fell asleep at last, and the last sound he heard before falling asleep was the pre-dawn chirping of birds in the woods.But the chirping sound soon died down, and he gradually fell asleep.In his dream, he saw: the sun over Bald Mountain had gradually slanted to the west, and the whole mountain was surrounded by two blockades...