Chapter 12 Chapter 12 Performing Magic and Disclosing the Inside Story

A short man appeared on the stage of Vallett's vaudeville on an ordinary two-wheeled bicycle.He wore a battered yellow round hat, a plump purple nose like a big pear, short checkered trousers, and a pair of patent leather shoes on his feet.The band played foxtrot, he rode his bicycle around the stage, and then with a triumphant cry, the front wheel of the bicycle lifted off the ground.He only rode around the field on the rear wheel, stood upside down on the bike while riding, and at the same time skillfully removed the front wheel, rolled it behind the scenes, continued to shake the pedals with his hands, and rode on the stage with a single wheel .

Another brunette appeared on a single wheel, sitting on a saddle at the top of a tall metal pole.She was plump, in a tights and a short skirt with silver stars shining.She also circles the stage.Whenever the dwarf met the girl, he cheered, shouted, and saluted her by taking off his cap with his foot. The last one to play was a little boy about seven or eight years old, but disguised as an old man.He rode between the two adults on a tiny two-wheeler with an oversized car horn attached to it. After riding a few laps, the three of them rushed to the edge of the front desk together with the band's restless drumbeat.The audience in the front row couldn't help screaming, and they leaned up to dodge in unison, thinking that this group of people and their cars were about to fall into the orchestra pit in front of the stage.

However, at the moment when the wheel was about to slide into the deep pool and fall on the head of the band, the three car technicians shouted "Ah!" and stopped the car firmly.They jumped out of the car and bowed to the audience, the blonde girl blew kisses frequently, and the little boy played all kinds of ridiculous sounds with the big horn. Thunderous applause shook the entire theater.The azure curtain closed from both sides, covering the car technicians, the green light "exit" beside the side door went out, and a few big sun-like bright balls lit up between the criss-cross rope ladders under the high vault and Gao Qiugan.intermission.After the break is the last set of programs.

At this moment, Grigory Danilovich Rimsky was the only one who showed no interest in the superb driving skills of the actor Zhuri family.He has been sitting alone in the office, biting his thin lips, his facial muscles twitching from time to time.He couldn't understand it: first, the manager Likhodeyev disappeared inexplicably, and now the general affairs assistant Varenukha has disappeared. Rimsky knew, of course, where Varenukha had gone, but he did not understand how he could never return.Rimsky shrugged his shoulders and said to himself: "Could he have committed some crime?"

The competent financial assistant could hang up the phone to Varenukha's place to ask what happened to the general affairs assistant, but the strange thing is that he hesitated until ten o'clock in the evening and didn't make up his mind to make this call . It was ten o'clock, and he finally picked up the receiver very reluctantly, only to find that the phone was not connected.The correspondent reported that other phones in the building were also out of order.Unpleasant as it was, the telephone breakdown was nothing unusual after all, but for some reason it made Rimsky even more dejected.But at the same time, he secretly rejoiced: the phone can be stopped.

A small red light lit up on the ceiling of the Finance Assistant's office, indicating that it was intermission.At this time, the correspondent came in and reported that foreign actors on tour had arrived.The assistant shivered for some reason, his face was livid, and he immediately got up and went to the backstage to receive the foreign guest, because now there was no one else to receive him except him. Already the first bell was tinkling in the corridor.Many curious people—conjurers in turbans and bright gowns, ice skaters in white linen, storytellers with powdered faces, make-up artists who painted actors’ faces, and so on—crowded in the At the door of the big dressing room, I tried my best to look into the room.

The presence of a famous foreign magician and his attire amazed everyone.He was wearing an odd, oddly long tuxedo, and a black half-mask over his face.Most shocking were his two entourages: a tall, slender man in a checkered suit and a pair of battered pince-nez, and a fat black cat.After the black cat walked into the dressing room on its hind legs, it unceremoniously sat down on the couch, squinting at the small lanterns used for makeup. Rimsky tried his best to put on a smile to greet him, but his expression became sour and vicious instead.He nodded to the magician, who sat on the sofa next to the black cat and said nothing.There was no handshake.But the tall man in the checkered suit introduced himself haughtily as "the gentleman's assistant."This made the financial assistant feel very strange and unhappy: there was no mention of any assistants in the performance contract.

Reluctantly and coldly, Rimsky asked the assistant who emerged from the ground: Where are the props of foreign magicians? "I say, you, our diamond baby, dearest Mr. Associate," said the assistant in a broken voice, "our props are always carried with us. Look, this is: 'Ain! Hedgehog! Dele!'" he said, rubbing his thick fingers a few times before Rimsky's eyes, and then suddenly pulled out a gold watch on a chain from the black cat's ear.It was Rimsky's own gold watch, which had just been in the pocket of his vest over which his suit jacket was buttoned, and the watch chain went through the buttonhole.

Rimsky couldn't help touching his arms with both hands, and the other people standing at the door said "Ah!" at the same time, and the make-up artist who stretched his neck and looked around smacked his lips. "Is it your watch? Please put it away!" The man in the plaid jacket smiled and held Rimsky's gold pocket watch in his dirty palm, and handed it back to the bewildered owner. The storyteller next to him joked to the make-up artist in a low voice, "Don't ride the tram with this guy!" Unexpectedly, the big tomcat also showed his hand, which was even more exciting than "carrying" a pocket watch.It suddenly stood up from the sofa, walked upright on its hind legs to the dressing mirror, uncorked the long-necked carafe with one front paw, poured a glass of water and drank it, re-corked the bottle, and used the makeup again. The towel wiped his beard.

None of the people present said "Ah!" - everyone was dumbfounded.Only the make-up artist whispered in admiration: "Hey! So tall!" At this time, the third rapid bell rang.People had a premonition that they would be feasting their eyes, and they left the dressing room with great interest. After a while, several light balls on the top of the audience hall went out.The light from the footlights hit the bottom of the big screen, glowing reddish, the big screen slowly opened a small gap, where the light flashed, a fat man appeared in front of the audience, with a cheerful smile like a child on his clean-shaven face, The tuxedo was crumpled, revealing an old shirt.This is George Mengalski, the announcer who is very familiar to the Moscow audience.

"Well, citizens," said Bengalski with a baby-like sweet smile, "you're going to see..." He stopped suddenly, and said in a completely different tone, "I see, the second After the second intermission, our audience increased a lot! Today, people from half of the city came! It can be said that I met a friend two days ago, and I asked him: 'Why don't you come to see Our performance? Half of the city came yesterday!' What do you ask him to say? He said: 'But I live in the other half of the city!'" Mengalski paused, expecting laughter from the audience, But seeing that no one laughed, I had no choice but to continue introducing the show: "Next, everyone will see a magic show performed by the famous foreign magician Mr. Wallander! Of course, we all know it," Mengalski put on an omniscient With a slight smile on his face, "There are no monsters in the world. Believe in monsters, that is superstition. It's just that Mr. Wallander can juggle, and his skills are very superb. This point, we are most interested in the part, which is to disclose When the inside story of the magic is revealed, it will become clear. We are all the same, wanting to appreciate the superb magic skills, but also eager to see its inside story. Well, now we invite Mr. Wallander to perform for us!" After the nonsense, Mengalski folded his palms together and waved towards the gap in the curtain to welcome him.The curtain made a slight rustling sound as he gestured, receding to the sides. The magician came to the stage with a tall, slender assistant and a big tomcat that walked on its hind legs.This way of appearing on the stage made the audience feel very satisfied. "Give me a chair!" Wallander whispered, and at the same moment, an easy chair appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the stage, and the magician sat down immediately. "I say, my dear bassoon," said Woland, turning to the tall clown in checkered clothes (who, it seems, had another nickname besides the name "Karloviev"), "you see , Haven’t the residents of Moscow changed a lot?” ① Bassoon, wind instrument. The magician glanced at the silent auditorium.Most of the audience are still amazed by the easy chair that flew onto the stage out of thin air. "That's right, my lord," replied the bassoonist Karloviev in a low voice. "You're right. The people in this city have indeed changed a lot. But I'm talking about the surface, just like the city, only the appearance has changed. Needless to say the people's clothes, besides These... what are they called... trams, cars..." "That's called a bus." The bassoon reminded respectfully from the side. The audience listened carefully to the dialogue on the stage and regarded it as the prelude to the magic show.Rimsky's tense, pale face could be seen among the many faces that filled the sides of the stage with actors and crew. But Mengalski, the announcer who was hiding on the edge of the front desk, did not understand what he said.He raised his eyebrows slightly, seized a gap in the conversation of the magicians, and interjected: "This foreign actor is admiring the technical achievements of Moscow's municipal construction, as well as the Muscovites." Mengalski said, smiling twice to the audience, the first time facing the pool seat, and the second time facing the building. seat. Wallander, the bassoon, and the big tom all turned to the announcer. "Did I show my appreciation?" the magician asked the bassoon. "Not at all, my lord, and you have not expressed the slightest appreciation," replied the bassoon. "So, what is this man talking about?" "He's just lying!" shouted the checkered assistant to the whole theater, and then, turning to Bengalski, "I congratulate you, citizen, master liar!" A jeer came from the balcony, and Bengalski shuddered, dumbfounded.Just listen to the magician continue: "But, of course, I'm not so much interested in these buses and telephones and other..." "Technical equipment!" The assistant hurriedly reminded again. "Exactly, thank you," said the magician slowly, in a deep, deep voice, "but rather a much more important question, namely: Has there been a change in the hearts of the inhabitants of this city?" "Yes, sir, the question is of the utmost importance." The actors crowded on both sides of the stage exchanged glances and shrugged their shoulders in amazement; Bengalski blushed; Rimsky paled.However, the magician seemed to have guessed the panic in people's hearts, so he said to his assistant: "However, my dear bassoon, you and I are just chatting, and the audience is getting impatient. Let's start first, and show us some tricks." There was a sigh of relief in the audience.The bassoon and the big tomcat walked to both sides of the stage.The bassoonist raised his hand and slapped the torreya, cheered up and shouted loudly: "Three, four!" As soon as the voice fell, a deck of playing cards flew in the air.He took the bassoon in his hand, shuffled it a few times, and then threw it at the big tomcat one by one, forming a long ribbon in the air.The tom caught the end of the tape, changed hands and threw it back as it was.This soft and gorgeous snake squeaked in the air, and the bassoon immediately opened its mouth like a bird and swallowed the snake bit by bit. At the same time, the big tomcat came to the front of the stage, and with a "slap" of its right hind paw, it joined its left hind paw, and respectfully saluted and thanked the audience, which aroused unprecedented warm applause. "Tall! Really tall!" The people in the background shouted happily. But the bassoon pointed to the pool seat and said: "My dear citizens, the deck is now on the seventh row of a citizen named Palchevsky, between a three-rouble note and a court summons for him In order for him to pay child support to Ms Zelkova." There were people shaking their heads in his seat, and some people leaned over to look around.Finally, a man stood up, who happened to be named Palczewski.His face was flushed with embarrassment, he took out a deck of playing cards from his wallet, and repeatedly raised it above his head, not knowing who to give it to. "Keep it for yourself as a souvenir!" cried the bassoon from the stage. "Didn't you say at dinner yesterday that life in Moscow would be unbearable for you without playing cards?" "Old stuff!" A voice from the audience came from the balcony, "The man in the pool belongs to them!" "Do you think so?" the bassoon squinted his eyes and looked at the gallery loudly. "So you belong to us, too, because the bundle is in your pocket now!" There was a commotion in the balcony, and then someone shouted happily: "That's right! Here he is! Here, . . . wait! But here . . . these are ten-rouble notes!" The audience in the pool seat turned their heads to look up.A man in the balcony looked very embarrassed when he found in his pocket a wad of ten-rouble notes, neatly tied up in the bank's fashion, with the seal saying: "A Thousand Rubles." People around rushed towards him.He himself scratched the seal with his nails in amazement, eager to find out whether it was real money or a magic trick. "True! True! Ten ruble notes!" cheered the gallery. "Give me such a stack too!" A fat man in the pool begged with a smile. "Awaik, Priegil!" the bassoon replied, "but why are you the only one? Please come and join us!" Then he ordered the audience: "Please look up!  … ... Two!" A pistol appeared in his hand.He shouted again: "Two!" The pistol was raised muzzle upward.Then he shouted: "Three!" There was a flash of light and a bang, and immediately many white tickets floated down slowly from the dome of the acrobatic arena through the criss-cross ladders towards the audience. ①The Russian pinyin of French means: very happy and willing to serve. These bills hovered and flew in all directions, some flew to the balcony and pool seats, some fell to the orchestra pit, and some floated to the stage.In a matter of seconds, the banknotes rained down on the audience seats, and the rain was getting heavier, and the audience began to scramble to catch these banknotes. Hundreds of hands stretched into the air at the same time, and many people held banknotes and looked at the lights on the stage.People see the most formal and reliable watermark patterns that are characteristic of genuine banknotes.There was no question about the smell either: that incomparably wonderful smell of new banknotes!At first the whole audience found it amusing, then they were amazed. There were wailings of "Ten-ruble notes!" .Some people have already crawled up the aisle and groped under the seats. Many people stood on the chairs, trying to be the first to catch the bills whirling playfully in the air. The faces of the public security police gradually showed a look of bewilderment, while the actors in the background had already gone to the front stage without any scruples. A shout came from the second floor: "What are you grabbing? It's mine! It flew towards me!" Another voice said: "Don't bump into me! I'll hit you for you!" Suddenly there was a Remember the loud slap.The helmets of the police flashed there immediately, and someone was taken away. In short, the audience's emotions quickly became agitated. If the bassoon hadn't suddenly blown into the air and stopped the ruble rain, I don't know what would have happened. The two young men exchanged cheerful and meaningful glances, left their seats and hurried towards the theater canteen.The entire auditorium was full of voices, and everyone's eyes sparkled with excitement.Yes, that's exactly what happened. If the announcer Mengalski hadn't taken the courage to take action, I really don't know how it would have ended.I saw Mengalski rubbed his hands together habitually, then he collected himself and said loudly with all his might: "You see, citizens, what has just been performed in front of you is the so-called mass hypnotism. It is a purely scientific experiment, and it can prove to us most convincingly that there are no such things as miracles and magic. Now we invite Wo Lan Mr. De has come to reveal to us the mysteries of this scientific experiment. Citizens, you will soon see that these papers, which appear to be banknotes, disappear as suddenly as they appeared." As he spoke, he took the lead in applauding, but no one echoed him.At this time, even though he still had a confident smile on his face, there was no such confidence in his eyes at all, rather it was a pleading expression. The audience did not welcome Bengalski's statement.The audience was silent for a while.After a while, the assistant, still in checkered clothes, broke the silence: "He's lying again." The bassoon bleats like a sheep. "Citizens, these bills are real!" "Good-good!" a bass voice upstairs shouted in a long voice. "By the way, this man," said the bassoonist, pointing to Bengalski, "is a real annoyance to me. He's not needed here, but he keeps messing around. Talking nonsense and disrupting the show. What can we think of?" How to deal with him?" "Take his head off!" someone yelled sternly from the balcony. "What did you say? Huh?" The bassoon seemed very interested in this absurd suggestion, "Take off the head? That's a good idea! Hippo!" The bassoon yelled at the big tom, "You can do it! Ian, Hedgehog, Dele!" At this time, an unprecedented scene appeared.Seeing the big tom cat's black hair standing on end, it let out a heart-piercing scream, curled up in a ball, and swooped towards Mengalski's chest like a leopard.It only scratched his chest, then jumped on his head, with a grunting sound, grabbed the announcer's thinning hair with its furry claws, turned around twice, and then screamed again, Just pulled the head off from the thick neck. The audience of 2,500 spectators screamed in unison.Blood spurted upwards from the torn neck artery like a fountain, staining the announcer's white corset and tuxedo red, and the headless body moved its legs in a strange way, rubbed a few steps forward, and then sat on the stage .The hysterical screams of women can be heard from the audience.The big tomcat handed the head to the bassoon, and the bassoon grabbed it by the hair and lifted it up for the audience to see, while the human head begged the audience in a miserable and desperate voice: "Call the doctor!" "Are you still talking nonsense in the future?" the bassoon asked the weeping head sharply. "Don't dare again!" Human Head replied in a hoarse voice. "For God's sake, don't torture him!" A woman's voice suddenly came from the box, drowning out the noise.The magician turned his face in the direction of the voice. "So, guys, what to do? Burn him, or what?" the bassoon asked the audience. "Forgive me, forgive me!" At first, it was only individual voices, mainly women's voices, followed by men's voices. "My lord, what do you order?" the bassoon asked Woland, who was wearing a mask. "Well, never mind," Woland said thoughtfully, "these people, people are people after all. They love money, and that's always been the case... Humans love money, no matter what it's made of, yes. Made of leather, or paper, or bronze, or gold, they like it all. Well, they're so frivolous... Well, yes... Mercy knocks at their hearts sometimes... It's all common Ordinary mortals...in general, very much like the people of old...only the house problem destroyed them..." Then he ordered loudly: "Put his head on!" The big tom cat took the human head, aimed carefully, and put it firmly on the neck of the body, and the head grew back in the original place, as if it had never moved.And there was not even a scar on his neck.The big tomcat dusted Bengalski's tuxedo and vest twice with its paws, and the blood on the clothes was completely wiped off.The bassoon lifted Bengalsky, who was still sitting on the stage, made him stand up, stuffed a wad of ten-rouble notes into the pocket of his tailcoat, drew him to the edge of the stage, and said: "Go away! It's more interesting here without you!" The announcer looked around in a daze, staggered forward, and seemed unable to hold on as soon as he reached the fire hydrant.He cried out mournfully: "My head, my head!" Rimsky ran towards him with the crowd.The announcer burst into tears, scratching the air with his hands, and muttered: "Give me my head! Give me back my head! You can take back the house and all those famous paintings, just give me back my head!" The correspondent hurried to fetch the doctor.People tried to put Bengalski on the couch in the dressing room, but he struggled and became very manic.An ambulance had to be called.Rimsky hurried back to the reception after the carriage had driven away the unfortunate announcer.He saw new miracles taking place on the stage.Oh, by the way, here I have to tell the reader by the way: I don't know whether it was just or a little earlier that the magician Wallander and his faded easy chair have disappeared from the stage.And, it must be said, not a single person in the audience noticed this, people were completely absorbed by the various superb performances of the bassoon. After dismissing the tortured announcer, the bassoon announced to the audience: "Finally got rid of the bastard. Now, let's open a women's store!" In an instant, the countertop was covered with a large Persian carpet, and several tall full-length mirrors appeared, with small green lights on the mirror frames, and several large display windows between the full-length mirrors.The mood of the audience rose again, and they were amazed to see that some of the windows displayed Parisian women's fashion in various designs and styles; There are feathered ones, those with streamers, and those without streamers; there are also hundreds of pairs of women's shoes-black, white, yellow, leather, brocade, and snow rice leather, with all kinds of knots on the upper. The same New Building, inlaid with colorful small colored stones.There are also many beautiful small perfume boxes displayed in the middle of the shoe exhibits, and the ground glass vials inside are shining with seductive brilliance.There are also several large piles of small handbags—antelope leather, snow rice leather, silk, everything; among the handbags are some small molded gold vintage boxes, which can be seen as lipstick boxes at a glance. Suddenly out of nowhere a brunette in a black evening dress appeared.The girl would be perfect if it weren't for the strange scar on her neck.She stood by the window, smiling slightly, with a strict hostess demeanor. The bassoon was all smiles, and triumphantly announced: All audience members are free to come on stage and use their old women's clothes and shoes to exchange all kinds of Paris clothes and Paris women's shoes in the store for free!He also announced that handbags, perfumes and other items can also be changed free of charge at will. At this time, the big tomcat kept raising its hind paws to stand at attention, politely using its front paws to imitate the way a store janitor opens the door to let customers in. The brunette also began to talk sweetly.Although her voice was a bit hoarse, her pronunciation was unclear, and she couldn't understand what she said, but from the expressions of the female audience in the pool, her words seemed very attractive: "Herlian, Chanel No. 5①, Mizuka②, Black Narcissus③, evening dresses, reception dresses..." ①French famous brand perfume. ② Japanese famous brand perfume. ③French famous brand perfume. The bassoon cordially welcomes each other, the big tomcat salutes, and the brunette opens the glass windows one by one. "Come on up, please!" the bassoon shouted loudly, "Everyone please relax! You're welcome!" The audience is excited and eager to try, but no one has come to the stage yet.Finally, a black-haired woman in the tenth row of the pool seat left her seat. Her smiling face showed everyone that she didn't care about everything and didn't care about anything.She walked to the front of the stage and climbed onto the stage along the small ladder next to her. "Great!" The bassoon greeted loudly, "Welcome the first customer! Hippo, please bring me a bag! Ma'am, can you take a look at the shoes first?" The black-haired woman had just settled down on the soft chair when the bassoonist had already placed many pairs of women's shoes on the carpet in front of her. The brunette took off her old right shoe, tried on a lavender one, stomped on the carpet, and looked at the heel again. "Will these shoes squeeze your feet?" She asked hesitantly. The bassoon seemed a little annoyed at such a question, and he replied loudly: "Where, no!" Even the big tomcat meowed angrily. "Then I'll take these, Mosier," she said, and slipped the other shoe on with grace. ①French: Mr. The black-haired woman's old leather shoes were thrown behind the curtain, and then she herself was escorted by the brunette, and the bassoon followed with a hanger on which many fashion samples were hung.The big tomcat also hangs a tape measure around its neck in a serious manner, and always wants to help out after running. After a while, the black-haired woman came out from the slow back, and her new outfit immediately aroused admiration from the audience.This bold woman who suddenly became beautiful and colorful stood in front of the full-length mirror, slightly shook her bare shoulders, stroked the hair on the back of her head, and twisted her body as much as possible to look at her back. "Our company also asks you to accept this as a souvenir." Bassoon said, and handed her a small box with the lid open, which contained a bottle of perfume. "Mersey!" The black-haired woman replied proudly, stepped off the stage and walked towards the pool seat. When she passed by, the audience on both sides stood up to look at her, and some even touched the small box. This is out of control: women walk from all corners of the theater to the stage.People's discussions, laughter, and admiration were intertwined.Amidst the heated uproar, a man was heard shouting: "I won't let you go!" Then a woman's voice: "Despot! Petty citizen! Don't break my arm!" The women stepped into the veil In the back, throw your old clothes there and walk out in new clothes.A long row of little square stools with gilt legs were occupied by women who were stamping vigorously on the carpet with their newly-shod feet.From time to time the bassoon would get down on one knee and help the women try on shoes with a horn shoehorn.Panting, the big tomcat transported large bundles of handbags and women's shoes from the window to the small square stool, and sent back the leftovers.A brunette with a scar on her neck was also running in and out of the stage, so busy that she had to speak entirely in French.But the strange thing is that all the women, including those who don't know a word of French, can understand everything the girl says. To the great shock of the audience, a man also mingled onto the stage.He claimed that his wife was suffering from the flu and asked for something to pass on to her.In order to prove that he does have a spouse, he is willing to show his citizenship certificate.The request of this considerate husband caused a roar of laughter, but the bassoon loudly said to him: No need to show a citizenship certificate, I trust you as I trust Xiangji.He immediately gave him two pairs of stockings, and the big tomcat took the initiative to add a box of lipstick to him. The slow-moving women continued to rush to the stage, and one after another, happy women stepped down, some in ball gowns, some in comfortable casual clothes embroidered with dragons, and some in serious visitor suits, playfully Wearing all kinds of hats askew, pressing the brim of the hat to one side of the brow. At this time, Bassoon announced: In view of the late time, the fashion firm will close its business in one minute, and will continue to receive customers tomorrow night.This announcement threw the stage into a state of complete and unbelievable chaos: the women hurriedly grabbed the shoes in front of them without trying them on.Someone rushed to the back of the curtain like a whirlwind, threw off the clothes on his body, grabbed the nearest set of silk robes embroidered with large flowers and put them on, and took two bottles of perfume. At exactly one minute, there was a gunshot, and the large pier-glass disappeared, the window and the stool with gilt legs disappeared, and the rug and hangings melted into the air.In the end, a large pile of old clothes and shoes suddenly disappeared, and the stage became deserted, empty and bare again. At this moment, a new character automatically enters the stage and is about to intervene in the performance. I only heard a loud and melodious, very firm male middle school voice coming from the second box upstairs. "Actor Citizen, we always look forward to your revealing the inside story of your tricks to the audience as soon as possible, especially the trick of changing money. In addition, we also hope that you will bring the announcer back on stage. The audience is very concerned about him current situation." The person who spoke in a baritone voice was none other than Arkady Apollonovich Sepreyarov, the guest of honor for tonight's performance, the chairman of the Acoustic Committee of the Moscow Theater Union. This Arkady Apollonovitch was seated in a box accompanied by two women, one elderly but richly dressed, the other young and beautiful and more modestly dressed.Later, when the interrogation notes were taken, we learned that the first was Arkady Apollonovich's wife, and the other was his distant relative, a promising actress who had just entered the theatrical world. An actress, who had just come to Moscow from Saratov, and lived temporarily at the house of Arkady Apollonovich. "Pardon!" the bassoon replied immediately, "I beg your pardon, but there is nothing inside to reveal here, it's all clear!" ①French: sorry, sorry. "No, I'm sorry! Disclosure is very much needed. Otherwise, your wonderful programs will give a very unpleasant impression. The general audience demands clarification." "The public," the buffoon bassoon interrupted San Preyarov, "doesn't anyone seem to ask for anything? But since you, Arkady Apollonovich, have shown that such a worthy Respect your wishes, then do as you said, and I will disclose a little bit. But, in order to disclose, I want to perform another small show, is it okay?" "There's nothing wrong with that!" Xian Preyarov said in a tone that sounded like a backstage boss, "However, you must disclose it after the performance!" "Yes, yes! Then I would like to ask you, Arkady Apollonovitch, where were you last night?" Arkady Apollonovitch's face suddenly darkened and became very ugly at hearing this abrupt, even insolent question. "Arkady Apollonovich went to a meeting of the Acoustics Committee last night!" replied Mrs. Sanpreyarov arrogantly preempting her husband, "but I don't understand that this has nothing to do with your magic show." What's the matter?" "Well, ma'am," said the bassoonist firmly, "of course you don't understand. You are quite mistaken about the committee meeting. Arkady Apollonovitch did ask for a coupe to go to the meeting." , but what about that meeting, let me tell you by the way, there was no plan to hold it at all last night. He drove to the office building of the Acoustics Committee by Qingshui Lake, let the driver go (at this time the audience was holding their breath), and then he So he took a bus to Yelokhov Street to look for Milica Andreyevna Pokobachko, an actress from the district troupe. He stayed in her room for about four hours. Hour." "Ouch!" Someone in the silence cried out in pain. Next to Arkady Apollonovich's young relatives laughed in terrible low tones. "I see it all!" she cried. "I've been skeptical for a long time, and now I see it. No wonder a fool like her gets the part of Louise!" ①The heroine in the famous play "Conspiracy and Love" by German poet and playwright Schiller (1759-1805). As soon as she had finished speaking, she suddenly swung the short lavender parasol and hit Arkady Apollonovich hard on the head. At this moment, the vile bassoon, that is, Karloviev, cried out: "Look, my dear citizens, Arkady Apollonovich must have asked for the inside story, and this should be considered a small disclosure!" "You little elf, how dare you touch Arkady Apollonovich?!" Mrs. Sanpreyarov, who was unusually tall, asked angrily, and stood up after speaking. 年轻的女亲戚又是一阵短促的、魔鬼般的狞笑。她边笑边说：“不管别人怎么样，我可就是敢碰他！”“啪”——又于又脆的一声响，阳伞柄第二次打在阿尔卡季·阿波罗诺维奇的头上弹了起来。 “民警！抓住她！”普列亚罗夫夫人碜人的喊叫声使许多人身上起了鸡皮疙瘩。 这时，大公猫一下蹿到前台脚灯处，忽然口吐人言，向全场高声宣布： “演出到此结束！乐队的大师们，闹它个进行曲来！” 几乎已经神经错乱的乐队指挥，自己也不明白要干什么，不由得扬起指挥棒一甩，于是乐池里不是奏起，不是轰然响起，甚至不能说是搞起，而真正是像大公猫所用的那个龌龊字眼儿一样“闹起”了一个极其杂乱无章、荒唐得无以复加的所谓进行曲。 须臾间，人们仿佛听到这个进行曲中还配着歌词，它像是南国星空下的夜酒店里那种吐字含混、哼哼唧唧，但词意却相当大胆的歌词： “我们的首领大人 素常就喜爱家禽， 所以便收留保护 青春美貌的女人！ ! ! " 也许，那歌词根本不是这几句话，而是为同一个谱于配的另一些完全不堪入耳的话。但这并不重要，重要的是：这样一来整个瓦列特杂耍场更是陷入了“巴别塔的混乱”①状态。民警急忙跑向仙普列亚罗夫的包厢，爱看热闹的人们纷纷爬上栏杆，不时听到震耳的狂笑、疯狂的喊声和乐池中传出的压倒这一切的金钱声。 ①《圣经》典故：洪水大劫后，挪亚的子孙想在新天地建造一座通天塔。工程进展迅速。此事惊动了上帝。耶和华降临现场，变乱了人们的语言，使建塔人互相不能理解，工程半途而废，塔因而得名“巴别塔”。希伯来语“巴别”即变乱之意。此处意为：极端混乱。 再往舞台上看时，那里早已空无一人：巴松管和他吹气唤出的一切，还有那只号称河马的无赖公猫，都像是消融在空气之中，跟刚才魔术师及其褪色安乐椅消失一样，全都无影无踪了。