——The theme of the talk Zhou Wen When it comes to love, one can't help but think of the "spherical progenitor" described by the Athens comedy writer Aristophanes.It is said that each individual of the first human beings was spherical, with four hands and four feet, a head that could rotate in reverse on the neck, and two identical faces on the head.Because they were too strong and arrogant, and often attacked the gods, Zeus split them in two.Love does not exist in the spherical proto-human, but love appears after being split in two: each half misses the other half that was separated.Each is therefore only one half of himself, and each is forever seeking the opposite half which will make him whole again.This myth vividly reveals the nature of human love.So how will people find their other half?How do you find your other half?This is undoubtedly an eternal theme in ancient and modern Chinese and foreign literary and artistic works.Erich Siegel, a famous American love novelist, recently released another touching and thought-provoking masterpiece of love.

In the late 1960s, Siegel moved readers all over the world with a book, and the love story of Oliver and Jenny became a household name for a while.The best-selling momentum of the novel lasts for a long time. In the past 10 years, it has sold nearly 10 million copies in the United States alone.After 30 years, what new discovery has Siegel made on the theme of love?At first glance, these two romance novels have many similarities: both are love stories between rich and poor, between love and money, and both heroines die of terminal illness.However, these superficial similarities hide distinct differences: Oliver, who betrayed the world of money, has never bowed to wealth, while Sylvia, who is in the middle, has finally returned to the upper class society she once despised; Ni's death is the end of the world for Oliver, but Sylvia's death is a relief for his lover Matthew.Readers who have wept secretly for Oliver and Jenny's enduring and earth-shattering love story may have doubts about the author's creative intentions.Has Siegel, who has passed middle age, seen through the mortal world and no longer believes in and praises the greatness and nobility of love?But in fact, it's not.It describes the 20-year emotional journey of a young man who is upright, brave, caring, ambitious and musically gifted in search of the true meaning of love.Matthew and Sylvia's sincere affection cannot be doubted; Sylvia's leaving without saying goodbye made him overwhelmed with pain, and even after 20 years of time, he still couldn't let it go.However, in the end, Matthew's emotional balance was clearly in favor of his wife Evie.The enlightenment brought to us by this seemingly sensible choice is exactly the author's creative intention and ingenuity.

Humans are sentient animals.Everyone needs emotional comfort and nourishment at any time in their life.Of course, the emotional emptiness that occurs in extreme cases can be tolerated for a certain period of time, but in the long run, this lack of emotion will inevitably seek compensation in future life.The Matthew brothers, who spent their childhood in the emotional wasteland, failed to taste the joy and sweetness of family affection since they were young.The way for the younger brother to make up for his feelings is to get married as soon as he is an adult, and the way for little Matthew to escape the troubles of life is to practice the piano, because "the piano is an invincible fortress under my rule, where I am the supreme and lonely Sovereign, it is a source of indescribable—almost physical—pleasure”.Music provides him with a safe haven, a perfect but illusory living space above the hustle and bustle of the world.In the realm of music, everything can be purely spiritual, because music itself has been able to bring "almost physical" pleasure.Therefore, college students Matthew and Evie, who are addicted to it, stay together day and night, play beautiful and harmonious music with piano and cello, and convey the communication between the heart and soul through music, but they always maintain the purest Really friendship.Of course, at this time, Matthew may not have opened his heart and didn't know what to feel, so he turned a blind eye to the love that came quietly.What's more likely is that the young Matthew still can't comprehend the changeability and perishability of love. He doesn't know that the opportunity will be gone after a little hesitation, and he can only feel its preciousness after losing it.But most likely, he, who is used to calling himself the "supreme and lonely monarch" in the illusory music kingdom, has always been surging in his heart the longing for some kind of extraordinary, otherworldly, earth-shattering great love , and his relationship with Evie seemed too normal and natural to satisfy his longing much.

Meeting and falling in love with Sylvia just satisfied Matthew's desire.From the first meeting, Matthew's impression of Sylvia was idealized.The daughter of the richest man in Italy, a romantic country, is a fairy from heaven to Matthew, who was born as a commoner, "Venus of Milan", a "Ms. Perfect".Her perfection cannot even be described in words, because she is "a poem without words".If it is said that "love is an imaginative exploration of an elusive ideal object" (George Santayana), then when this "ideal object" appears alive in front of him, it seems natural for Matthew to develop love.At the same time, if the factors other than the love between the two are temporarily put aside, the love foundation between Matthew and Sylvia is not solid.Matthew's love for Sylvia is not only because of her "everything is beautiful", nor is it just because of the imagination that the huge wealth behind her can bring to people, but because of the two in her The perfect combination of her body is also because she "comes out of the mud but not stained", and she is rich but benevolent - the act of participating in the international medical team itself is so precious to this spoiled and pampered daughter!This valuable quality of benevolence also flashes in Matthew, who believes in altruism, because he is very talented in music and can become a successful musician, but he is determined to live a life of helping others and giving back to society. The career of a doctor who saves lives and heals the wounded has become his choice.On the basis of like-mindedness, they also have a common music hobby and similar early life experiences.After exchanging their hearts, the two wounded hearts got closer, and they both longed to move closer to each other in order to heal the wound and obtain emotional compensation.In the test of hard work in the African jungle, the two fell in love and lived together, and even when they talked about marriage, it seemed that their emotional development was a matter of course.

However, humans are social animals.As Vasiliev pointed out in "On Love", "What love creates is not an isolated and absolutely independent pair of pairs".What is intolerable is that the relationship between Matthew and Sylvia is always filled with a romantic, illusory and unrealistic atmosphere: walking on the streets of Paris, watching plays in theater boxes, practicing medicine in the African jungle, making love in simple wooden houses, and even being intercepted by armed forces. , These are not ordinary things experienced by ordinary people.These naturally greatly satisfy Matthew's heart full of artistic imagination and longing for romantic experiences. doubts about the durability of the relationship.At the beginning of the acquaintance, Matthew has been hesitant and full of worries about whether he should express his love to Sylvia.And even at the height of their relationship, they both had a presentiment of the brevity of this idyllic life and the inevitability of separation.It became increasingly apparent to Matthew that he and Sylvia were like "dolls played by cruel fate, bringing us together only to tear us apart and cause us greater pain".Of course, they are not willing to be at the mercy of fate, trying to make a confrontation by creating a fait accompli.Therefore, they decided to get married as soon as possible, and determined to live in Africa, a paradise on earth far away from the hustle and bustle, so as to stay away from and escape the "real world" in which they could not live together.But it is not difficult to see that their determination is feeble after all.First of all, Sylvia's father is obviously not going to ignore this.The truth is, their relationship has always been overshadowed by the invisible shadow of Sylvia's father's ubiquitous and omnipotent wealth, both in Paris and in seemingly isolated Africa.Secondly, the savage jungle life and ultra-intensive African medical practice can be tolerated and dealt with in a limited time, but it is not easy to live here for a lifetime.Although driven by love, Sylvia would impulsively say, "The only important thing is love and work... everything in my world is here, it starts here, and it ends here", but in the long-term overload Under the wear and tear of hard work and boring life, it seems worth considering how long this dynamic of love can last.After all, Matthew also has a piano keyboard that can play imaginary music to relieve his depression, and Sylvia can only rely on Matthew's comfort; However, Sylvia, who has always been cared for by her father, lacks the necessary mental preparation (the fact that cannot be ignored is that the direct reason for her participation in the international medical team is to avoid contact with her father). Nico's marriage) and had a near nervous breakdown on his first morning at work.During the days in Africa, Matthew became Sylvia's only spiritual pillar, no matter in work, life, or emotionally.Therefore, as Matthew was shot and fell, her only spiritual support also collapsed, so returning to her original world was her only choice.

Apparently Matthew fails to realize this, since he has always been reluctant to equate his goddess with some "wayward, spoiled Milanese girl".In the 20 years since he lost Sylvia, he has been puzzled by Sylvia's departure from him, except that Sylvia's own weakness may also be the reason for her departure. one.His idealized love for her becomes his "shackles and bond" (to borrow a metaphor from the ancient Roman poet Ovid) in the days that follow.Because of the "shackles and contract" of love, his emotional world has been imprisoned since then, the door of emotion has been slammed shut, and his yearning for a better life has also come to an abrupt end; Fanatical devotion can alleviate the pain of the heart.Just because Sylvia's disappearance caused the disappearance of an illusory living space they had created together, Matthew's musical talent, which Sylvia so admired and played such an important role in their love, also It seems unnecessary to exist.He was “deaf”—the illusory world of his music vanished with that of his love, the flower of his art withered after the only fountain that nourished it had dried up.

If the author of the novel ended the plot development here or went on to describe the uncontrollable emotional vortex of Matthew's reunion with Sylvia and how he finally watched her die in his treatment room in despair, then at best it would be a repeat.However, the author is unconventional and finds another way, re-using the clue of Evie, and making a big effort on this sub-clue that can only be used as the prelude and foil of the main clue (the love between Matthew and Sylvia). article.As a result, this secondary clue becomes the main clue, while the original main clue becomes a secondary clue that serves as a reflection and a contrast.And when these two clues converge, that is, Evie and Sylvia appear in Matthew's life at the same time, the artistic tension of the novel reaches its strongest point.Where to go between the ecstatic illusory love and the ordinary love with long-lasting charm, this is the choice Matthew must make at this time.The exploration of this theme is the author's breakthrough in his own love novel creation mode.

It was life that taught Matthew to make sensible choices.If he had been obsessed with romantic out-of-reality love for nearly 20 years, then at this time he woke up like a dream.Living with Evie and his two daughters has allowed him to fully appreciate the joy of an ordinary and calm family life: the scent wafting from Evie’s kitchen makes him feel refreshed and warm; being close to Evie Going to the supermarket all night and visiting teachers at his daughter's school, these trivial things will bring him great satisfaction; even from the headache of "intergenerational war", he can taste the happiness of ordinary life as a family.When a small incident made him feel his wife's unreserved deep love for him when the family traveled together in Venice, he secretly made up his mind to stay with Evie for life.By this time he had fully "understood the difference between a 20-year-old's love at first sight and the deep love that seizes a mature adult by slow and powerful penetration".If it is said that young people only care about "one-time possession", then middle-aged people pay more attention to "everyday".The unearthly love that everyone longs for is often in an unstable state because it lacks a solid foundation in reality, and often brings the pain of life and death to both parties in love; the love of ordinary people seems to be used to it, but it is precisely because it has a solid foundation in reality And "enduring", "adaptable to change", and "continuously growing".The change in the concept of love made the two equally wonderful opera performances 20 years ago give Matthew completely different feelings, making Evie, who originally only had inner beauty, not inferior to Sylvia in Matthew's eyes.Clearly, Matthew's emotional balance was tilted in Evie's favor.And the sense of responsibility that comes with marriage has cast a decisive weight on Evie's side.When Sylvia proposed to reunite with Matthew, she sighed from time to time, "How can the real Evie compete with (fantasy) Sylvia's eternal, unchanging and never-changing perfection?" Matthew, however, was able to muster up the courage to refuse flatly: "It's too late—too late for both of us. You can't let 18 years of marriage just disappear. I already have a me in my life." A very precious person." These words remind people of Francesca, the heroine in "Bridges of Madison County", which became popular all over the world and fascinated Chinese readers a few years ago.In gorgeous romantic, exciting. Between G's love life and her bland, dull home life, Francesca willingly sacrifices the former and suffers the latter for "that damned sense of responsibility, to Richard (her husband), to the children."Of course, Matthew's choice of Evie and family is very different from Francesca's self-indulgence. His sense of responsibility for marriage indicates that Matthew, who has found true love after experiencing the vicissitudes of life, has a broader emotional world than the love between the sexes: Love for lover, love for family, love for children and love for life.

After stepping out of the illusion and stepping on the solid soil of reality, Matthew, nourished by the trickle of Evie's deep love, has spurred the flower of art that has withered for a long time—his musical talent is actually "recovered" The most natural thing" is a symbol of Matthew loving Evie with all his heart, embracing ordinary love and dedicating himself to ordinary life. The "ghost" that had haunted him for 20 years - the longing and attachment to illusory love - had vanished.After 20 years of hard searching, Matthew can finally announce to the world without hesitation that he has found true love, the only eternal love, and that is the ordinary love in reality.

If it is an idealized romantic landscape painting that eulogizes the selflessness, purity and greatness of love, then it is a panorama of love combining realism and romanticism.There are not only the extraordinary love between Matthew and Sylvia, the ordinary and eternal love between Matthew and Evie, but also Nico's selfish love for Sylvia, Roger's capricious love for women, and more Love with universal significance: the hearts of medical staff, the affection between parents and children, and the love of human beings for life.From to to is a breakthrough and a great leap in the depth of thinking of Siegel in the creation of love novels.