Chapter 22 twenty two

When I came out of the ward, I saw Phil Cavilelli in the sunroom, smoking a few cigarettes. "Phil?" I said softly. "Huh?" He looked up, and he probably knew everything in his heart. It was obvious that giving him some words of comfort would not work.I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder.I worry that he will cry.I'm pretty sure I won't cry.I can't cry.I mean, the feeling in my heart is beyond what these can express. He put his hand on mine. "It's just that," he murmured, "it's just that I've..." He paused, and I waited patiently.Anyway, what's the rush now?

"It's just that I have promised Jenny to be strong for you." In fulfillment of his promise, he gently stroked my hand with great delicacy. But I need to be alone now.Gotta get some fresh air.Better to get out and about. Downstairs, in the vestibule of the hospital, there was a dead silence.The only sound I heard was the clatter of my own footsteps on the linoleum. "Oliver." I stop. That's my father.Except for the woman at the information desk, it's just the two of us here and now.In fact, at this hour, there are not many people in New York who are still asleep like us.

I can't bear to face him.I went straight to the turnstile.But in a blink of an eye he also came out and stood beside me. "Oliver," he said, "you should have told me." It's cold outside, which is fine, because I'm numb and need a little awareness.My father was still talking to me, and I still stood there motionless, letting the cold wind beat my face. "As soon as I knew what was going on, I jumped in the car and came." I forgot to put on my coat; I ached from the bone-chilling chill.It hurts well.It hurts well. "Oliver," said the father hastily, "I'd like to help."

"Jenny is dead," I told him. "Oh, I'm sorry," he spit out softly in surprise. I don't know why, but I reproduced a sentence that the beautiful girl who just passed away said to me earlier: "Love is never having to say sorry." Then I did the first thing I've ever done in his presence, let alone in his arms.I cried.