Chapter 2 with sramana

That night they caught up with the ascetics, the emaciated Samanas, offered to walk with them and obey them, and were accepted. Siddhartha gave his clothes to a poor Brahmin in the street.He wears only a mask belt and an unsewn earth-coloured cloak.He only eats one meal a day and never eats cooked food.He fasted for fifteen days.He fasted for twenty-eight days.The flesh on his legs and face was gradually disappearing.Eager dreams flickered in his visibly enlarged eyes, long nails grew on his bony fingers, and a dry, shaggy beard grew on his chin.His eyes turned cold when he met a woman, and his lips curled contemptuously when he passed through the city and met a gorgeously dressed person.He saw merchants doing business, nobles going out hunting, mourners mourning for the dead, prostitutes showing off their colors, doctors treating patients, monks choosing the day of planting, changing people to love each other, mothers nursing their children—however, he didn’t know all these things well. Disdain, everything is deceit, everything stinks, everything stinks of lies, everything pretends to be elegance, happiness and goodness, everything rots.The taste of the world is really bitter, and life is trouble.

Siddhartha had one goal in front of him, one and only goal, and that was the emptiness of everything, no craving, no desire, no dream, neither pain nor pleasure.Self-death, no more self, finding peace for the empty heart, and waiting for a miracle to appear in the thinking of abandoning self, this is his goal.If the whole self is overcome and dead, if the desires and instincts of the heart are silenced, then the last thing, the inner nature that is no longer the self, the great secret, will awaken. Siddhartha stood silently under the direct scorching sun, terribly aching and thirsty, until he felt no more pain and thirst.In the rainy season, he stood silently in the rain, the water dripped from his hair onto his cold shoulders, onto his cold waist and legs, but the penitent stood still until his shoulders and legs were dead. No longer feel the cold until they are numb, until they calm down.He squatted silently among the thorn bushes, blood dripped from the burning skin, and pus dripped from the festering wound. Siddhartha squatted numbly, motionless, until there was no more bleeding, until there was no more needles. Stretch-like pain until it no longer burns-like pain.

Siddhartha sat upright, learned to save his breath, learned to take a little breath, learned to hold his breath.He starts with breathing, then learns to calm down the heartbeat, learns to reduce the number of heartbeats, until he has little or no heartbeat. Siddhartha was taught by the oldest sramana, practicing to get rid of the ego, practicing concentration and meditation, and practicing hard according to the new sramana rules.A heron flies over a bamboo grove - Siddhartha lets his soul sink into the heron, flying over forests and mountains.He turned into a heron, devoured fresh fish, starved like a heron, uttered the cry of a heron, and died like a heron.A dead wolf lay on the sand.Siddhartha's soul crawled into that corpse, turned into a dead wolf, lay on the sand, swelled, stinked, rotted, torn to pieces by hyenas, pecked at by vultures, turned into a skeleton, turned into a Dust, blown into the fields.Siddhartha's soul is back again, after death, decay, and ashes, has tasted the terrible taste of samsara, and in new longing like a hunter looks forward to rushing out of the gap to escape this samsara, Find the end of causes all the way, and thus begin painless eternity.He shattered his perception, his memory, from himself into a thousand strange images, into animals, carrion, stone, wood, and water, but always awoke again each time, When the sun or the moon is in the sky, he becomes himself again, swaying in this hesitation, feeling thirsty, overcoming his thirst, and feeling a new thirst.

Siddhartha learned a lot from the Samana, he learned to walk many paths from himself.He experienced pain, suffered voluntarily, overcame pain, hunger, thirst, and weariness.By brooding, by fantasizing about the meaning of ideas, he took the way of getting rid of himself. He learned to walk these ways and others, a thousand times out of his self, and lingered for hours or even in the not-self. a few days.However, although these roads all start from the self, the end point always returns to the self.Although Siddhartha escaped from himself a thousand times, lingering in nothingness, among animals, among stones, the return was inevitable, the moment of rediscovering oneself was inescapable, whether in the sun or in the sun. In the morning moonlight, whether in the shade of a tree or in the rain, he became himself and Siddhartha again, and again felt the pain of being samsara.

Govinda lived beside him, was his shadow, walked the same path and suffered the same trials as him.They rarely spoke to each other, only what they needed for work and practice.Sometimes, the two of them crossed the village and the street together to alms for themselves and their teacher. "What do you think, Govinda?" Siddhartha asked during an alms alms. "What do you think, are we moving on? Have we reached our goal?" Govinda replied: "We have learned and will continue to learn. You will become a great sramana, Siddhartha. You learn every kung fu very quickly, and the old sramanas often praise you. You will be a saint one day, Siddhartha."

Siddhartha said: "I don't see it that way, my friend. What I have learned so far from the Samana, Govinda, can actually be learned more quickly and straightforwardly. In the taverns in the brothel district, my friend, in the coachman's I can actually learn from being with gamblers." Govinda said, "Sitdhartha, you must be kidding me. How can you learn to meditate, how can you learn to hold your breath, how can you learn to endure hunger and pain in those poor wretches? ?” Siddhartha replied softly, as if talking to himself: "What is meditation? What is disembodied? What is fasting? What is breath-holding? It is all escape from the self, from the pain of the self. A short escape is a short anesthesia against the pain and absurdity of life. This escape, this short anesthesia, can be found even in a small inn, as long as he drinks a few glasses of rice wine or fermented coconut water Then, he no longer felt himself, no longer felt the pain of life, and got a brief anesthesia. After drinking rice wine, he fell into a drowsy sleep, and what he found was exactly what Siddhartha and Govinda found And we have to go through a long period of penance to get out of our bodies and stay in the not-self. That's how it is, Govinda."

Govinda said: "How do you say that, friend, after all you know that Siddhartha is not a cattle driver, but a Samana and not a drunkard. A drunkard can be drugged, escaped and rested for a short time, but when he comes from When he wakes up from his hallucinations, he finds that everything is the same, that he has not grown wiser, has accumulated no knowledge, has not climbed to a higher level." Siddhartha said with a smile: "I don't know this, I have never been a drunkard. But I, Siddhartha, only got a short anesthesia in my asceticism and meditation, and the distance from wisdom, distance Rescue is still as far away as when I was a fetus in the mother's womb, I know that, Govinda, I know that."

On another occasion, Siddhartha left the forest with Govinda and went to the village to beg for their brother and teacher.Siddhartha said: "Now, Govinda, we are probably on the right track? Are we close to knowledge? Are we close to rescue? Or are we just going around in circles -- but Do you think you have escaped this cycle?" Govinda said: "We have learned a lot, Siddhartha, but there is still a lot to learn. We are not going in a circle, we are going up, and the circle is a spiral. We are already on the Several steps." Siddhartha said, "Tell me about how old our old Samana, that respectable teacher is?"

Govinda said, "About sixty." Siddhartha said: "He is sixty years old, but he has not yet reached Nirvana. He may live to be seventy and eighty years old, and you and I, we will also grow old. We will not stop But, none of us will reach Nirvana, neither can he, nor can we. Oh, Govinda, I believe that probably none of the ascetics can reach Nirvana. We got comfort, got anesthesia, learned all kinds of self-deception techniques. But the important thing is that we didn't find the way of the road." Govinda said: "May you not say such sensational things, Siddhartha! Among so many learned men, among so many Brahmins, among so many solemn and respectable Samanas, among so many How is it that not one of the tireless, the zealous, the noble, the holy, has found the way of the way?"

But Siddhartha said in a sad and ironic voice, in a soft, somewhat sad and ironic voice: "Govinda, your friend will be leaving this road with you soon. Walked together for so long on the Samana path. I am thirsty, Govinda, and my thirst has not been relieved in the slightest on this long Samana path. I have been thirsting for knowledge, I have been full of doubts Year after year I consulted the Brahmans, year after year I consulted the sacred Vedas. Ah, Govinda, perhaps I went to the hornbill or the chimpanzee and it would be just as beneficial, just as wise, just as It worked. Ah, Govinda, it took me a long time, and it's still not over, to figure this out: there's nothing to learn! So I believe there's really no such thing as what we call The 'learning' stuff. Oh my friend, there is only one kind of knowledge that exists commonly, and that is the Atman, and it's in me, and it's in you, and it's in everyone. So, I came to believe: this knowledge His sworn enemy is the desire to know, to learn."

Govinda stopped on the road, held up his hands, and said, "Sitdhartha, you must not scare your friends with such words! Indeed, your words have aroused fear in me. You Think about it, if, as you said, there is no study, then where is the sacredness of prayer, the dignity of the Brahmin caste, and the sacredness of the recluse?! Ah! Siddhartha, then , what will become of all that is holy, precious, and honorable in the world?!" Then Govinda murmured two lines from the Upanishads: Who meditates, purifies the soul, and dwells in the Atman, The happiness in his heart cannot be expressed in words. However, Siddhartha remained silent.He pondered over what Govinda had said to him, thinking over the words from beginning to end. He stood there with his head bowed, thinking, yes, what is left of all that we hold sacred? What will remain? What will stand the test? He shook his head. Later, when the two young men lived with Samana and practiced penance for nearly three years, a news, a rumor, and a rumor spread through various channels: there was a man named Gotama, who was an eminent monk and living Buddha. , he overcame the troubles of the world in himself, and finally stopped the wheel of rebirth. He lectured everywhere, roamed the country, was loved by believers, had no property, no home, no wife, and wore the yellow monk's clothes of an ascetic, but his forehead Cheerful and happy, he is a man of enlightenment. Brahmins and princes and nobles are very humble in front of him and are willing to be his disciples. This rumor, this gossip, this statement, was spread everywhere, and there was a lot of excitement. There were brahmins in the city and monks in the forest. The name of Living Buddha Gotama was repeatedly heard by these two young people. There are bad words and bad words, and there are praises and slanders. It is as if a plague is raging in a certain country, and suddenly there is news that there is a certain person, a sage, an expert, whose words and breath are enough to heal everyone who is affected by the plague.The news spread all over the country, everyone talked about it, many people believed it, many people doubted it, and many people immediately set out to find this sage and savior.In this way, the news spread all over the country, the beautiful rumors about Gotama Living Buddha who was born in the Sakyamuni family.Believers all say that he has mastered the highest knowledge, he has carved his own past life, he has reached Nirvana, will never return to reincarnation, and will never fall into the turbidity of all things.Stunning and unbelievable stories about him are everywhere, saying that he has performed miracles, subdued demons, and once talked to the divine.But his enemies and adversaries say that this Gotama is a conceited liar, living a comfortable life, neglecting sacrifices, unlearned, ignorant of penance and asceticism. The rumors about the living Buddha sound very pleasant, and the charming fragrance is exuded from these statements.There is something wrong with the world, life is unbearable but lo and behold, there seems to be a fountain, a messenger's call, comforting and soft, full of noble promises.Rumors about the Living Buddha spread everywhere, and young people all over India are very concerned about it, feeling thirsty and hopeful.Among the Brahmins in town and country, pilgrims and outsiders alike were warmly welcomed if they could bring news of the Living Buddha. The rumor also reached the Samana in the forest, to Siddhartha and Govindar.It came slowly, bit by bit, every drop was unbelievable, and every drop was unbelievable.There was little talk about it between them, because the old Samana didn't like the rumor.He had heard that the so-called living Buddha had lived in the forest as an ascetic monk, but then returned to a comfortable life and had fun, so he looked down on Gotama very much. "Oh, Siddhartha," Govinda once said to his friend, "I went to the village today, and a brahmin invited me to his house, where a brahmin boy had just returned from Magadha. This person has seen the Living Buddha with his own eyes and listened to his teachings. To be honest, I was so excited that I gasped for breath and felt chest pains. I thought to myself: I wish I, I wish both of us, Siddhartha and I , and also have the opportunity to listen to the personal teachings of that perfect man! Tell me, friend, shall we also go there and listen to the teachings of the living Buddha himself?" Siddhartha said: "Oh, Govinda, I always thought that Govinda would stay here with the Samana, always thought that Govinda's goal was to live to sixty and seventy years old, to continue doing the work of decorating the Samana. What about skills and spiritual practice. But you see, I know too little about Govinda, and I know too little about his heart. My friend, now you also want to choose another way and go to the Living Buddha to listen to his teachings !" Govinda said: "You are very sarcastic. So be as sarcastic as you like, Siddhartha! But don't you also have a desire, an interest in your heart, to listen to this teaching? You were not Did you tell me that the path of Samana will not go on for a long time?" Siddhartha smiled in his characteristic way, with a tinge of pathos and sarcasm in his tone, and said: "Yes, Govinda, you are right, you have a good memory. I hope you also remember that you heard from me The other words I have come to say, is that I am already doubtful and weary of doctrine and learning, and I have no faith in what our teachers have taught us. Well, my dear, I am ready to listen to that teaching— —though I am sure in my heart that we have tasted the sweet fruit of that teaching." Govinda said: "Your determination really pleases me. But tell me, how is this possible? How can we have tasted the sweet fruit of Gotama before listening to its teaching?" Siddhartha said: "Oh, Govinda, let us savor the fruit and continue to wait patiently! Let us thank Gotama now, for the fruit consists in his making us free from the recluses! As for whether he will give us something better, my friend, let us wait patiently." On the same day, Siddhartha told the old Samana of his decision to leave him.His manner of speaking was humble and polite, in line with the rules of juniors and disciples, but the old Samana was very annoyed when the two young men wanted to leave him, yelled loudly, and used rude curse words. Govinda was terrified and bewildered.But Siddhartha put his mouth to Govinda's ear and whispered, "Now I'm going to show this old man what have I learned from him?" He leaned in front of the old monk, concentrated his attention, looked directly into the eyes of the old man, and bewitched him with magic, making him silent, lose his mind, succumb to the will of his apprentice, and do what he was asked to do silently.Sure enough, the old man was silent, his eyes were dull, his will was paralyzed, his arms were drooping, and he was unable to deal with Siddhartha's spell; but Siddhartha's thoughts controlled the old Samana, so he had to execute the magic spell given to him. The command.So, the old man bowed again and again, and made a gesture of blessing, stammering his wishes like "good journey".The two young men also bowed their thanks, replied with their best wishes, and left politely. On the way, Govinda said, "Oh, Siddhartha, you have learned more from the Samana than I do. It is difficult, very difficult, to seduce an old Samana. Really, if you Stay there, and you'll soon learn to walk freely on water!" "I don't ask to be able to walk on water," said Siddhartha. "Let the old Samanas be proud of such a feat!"