Chapter 7 Chapter VII

I could not think long about my friend's marriage, and I could not allow my attention and hopes to be diverted into this self-inflicted path, or I would become overly worried. I rarely think about my mother these days.I knew from her last letter that peace and tranquility no longer existed in our old home, but I had no reason nor interest to get involved in the quarrel between these two women, but let it go with a bit of schadenfreude. Naturally, my judgment on this quarrel is entirely superfluous.Since then my letters have not been accented, and I was too busy reviewing and revising opera manuscripts to think about Miss Schnipper.

Later I received a letter from my mother which surprised me with its unusually comprehensive content.There was a large section of the letter in which she criticized her female companion in great detail. From it, I learned that my mother wanted to maintain peace in the family, but she violated these wishes of my kind mother and did many wrong things.It must have been hard for my mother to describe this to me in a letter. Although she wrote carefully and maintained dignity, this letter is still a small piece of her relationship with that old friend and cousin. Self-confession.Not only does my mother think that my late father and I were right to oppose Miss Schnipper, but she is now even planning to sell our ancestral home, and would rather move and live elsewhere if I wanted to, just to get away from Schnipper Miss.

"It might be better if you come in person. Lu Mai must have known what I was thinking and what I planned to do, and she had already observed it clearly; but the relationship between the two of us is very tense, and I am looking for There was no proper way to tell her what had to be done. I hinted that I would like to be alone again and that I didn't need her, but she didn't get it, and I didn't want to argue publicly. I know that if I asked She'll fight and fight if she goes away. You come here and get the house in order and it'll be better. I don't want to make a scandal and she won't let it go. In fact, everything has to be made clear. Make it clear to her."

So I was mentally prepared to kill the dragon, as long as my mother made this request.I packed up my luggage happily and set out to go home.Indeed, as soon as I set foot in our old house, I found a new spirit reigning here.That is to say, the huge, formerly comfortable house now took on a melancholy, oppressive, dry, and pathetic aspect, with everything kept under close watch, as frugal and frugal as possible.The old solid parquet floor was covered with what was called a "strip rug" of poor quality and unsightly texture with long black stripes, supposedly to protect the floor and to reduce washing.The old piano, which had been sitting idle in the living room for years, was likewise covered.Even though my mother had prepared tea and refreshments early to welcome me, and tried to make everything as comfortable as possible, I still smelled a poor old maid's smell of camphor, and I smiled when I walked in. I held my nose to meet my mother who was coming to pick me up, and she immediately understood what I meant.

No sooner had I settled down than the shrew entered, running towards me from the "carpet" and complimenting my behavior without hesitation.I inquired about her recent situation in detail, and I regret to say that the old house she lives in may not satisfy her in every way.Ignoring my mother's presence, she pretended to be a housewife, offering me tea, answering my polite remarks hastily and apparently flatteringly, while at the same time showing growing fear and uneasiness that I had been too polite to her.She smelled something ominous, but she had to put on a tactful tone and bring out all her outdated compliments.We talked in the most solemn and polite atmosphere, and as the sky was getting dark, we exchanged hearty greetings, and parted like two diplomats of the old school.I believe, however, that the goblin, in spite of the sweetbread, did not sleep that night, that I rested contentedly, and that my poor mother, perhaps, for the first time after many nights of vexation and restlessness, Once again, I had the feeling of being the housewife of this house again, and I wanted to sleep peacefully all night.

The same trick was repeated at breakfast the next morning.My mother, who had listened silently and nervously on the previous evening, and now took part in the conversation happily, was embarrassed and even saddened by our gentle treatment of Schnipper, who was very sad. To be clear, I did not say these words in my mother's heart.This old lady irritates me so much, she tries to be as humble as she can out of fear, praises everything, praises everything, but I only think of the maid who was dismissed, the one who was forced to do so because of her mother's favor. Tolerating the disgruntled cook left behind; and I thought of the covered grand piano and the gloomy, petty smell that filled the house, which had always been cheerful in this ancestral house.The thought of all this strengthened my resolve.

After breakfast, I asked my mother to go to the bedroom to lie down for a while, and let me talk to that relative alone. "Don't you take a rest after dinner?" I asked politely. "Then I will leave you alone. I would like to discuss something with you, not necessarily immediately, of course." "Oh, tell me, I never sleep in the daytime. I never sleep in the daytime in my life. I always stand up and work all day." "Thank you very much, dear Miss Schnipper. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown my mother. She would be lonely in this empty house if it were not for you. Yes, things are quite different now."

"What?" she cried, jumping up. "What is completely different?" 'Don't you know?My mother finally decided to realize my consistent wish and decided to move to live with me.That way, we certainly won't leave the house empty.We need to sell the house as soon as possible. " The old lady stared at me in panic. "Yes, I'm really sorry," I continued politely. "You have worked hard during this time. I can't thank you enough for taking such good care of the whole family." "But me, what shall I do—where shall I go—" "Well, that's easy to settle. You just have to find another lodging, and of course you don't need to be in such a hurry. You must be very happy to have a quiet life again."

She stood up.The tone of voice is still polite, but it reveals doubts and sharpness. "I don't know what to say," she cried indignantly. "Your mother, sir, has promised me to live here forever. It is a permanent agreement; but now that I have taken over the whole house, and am your mother's help in every way, I will I'm going to the street!" She started sobbing and wanted to go away.I immediately took her bony hand and let her sit back on the armchair. "It's not that serious," I said with a smile. “Since my mother is moving away from here, things have changed a bit. It’s not her decision to sell the ancestral home, it’s my decision because I’m the owner. We don’t set a time frame when you have to find a new home , and my mother always thought of taking care of you first. You will be more comfortable than ever, and after all you are her guest."

The expected protest finally came, haughty, weeping, trying to boast of herself, and finally the disaffected woman found it wisest to withdraw from here.So she went back to her bedroom and didn't show up until coffee time.My mother told me we should have the coffee in her room, but I wanted revenge after being polite for a long time, and I let Miss Schnipper resist until the evening, and let her be alone. Blaming everyone, yet she showed up on time for dinner. "Unfortunately I'm going back to Land R tomorrow," I said over the meal. "As soon as you need me, Mom, I'll be right back."

I didn't look at my mother as I said it, but just watched her cousin; I think she must have understood what I meant by saying this.I greeted her as I left the table, which was cordial on my part. "Son," my mother said to me afterward, "you have done a beautiful job of this, and I want to thank you. Won't you give me part of your opera performance?" Not yet, but the gap has been opened, and an exchange of ideas has begun between me and the old lady.It's the best thing.She has trusted me now, and I am very happy about it. I even had a little concert with her at home to express my long-term wandering in a foreign land.I departed home triumphantly, and left a sweet greeting to the old lady.After I returned to Land R, I began to look for small and comfortable rental houses everywhere.Tessel helped me a lot, and most of his younger sisters were there. Both siblings liked me very much and hoped that the two small families could live happily together in the future. My opera has now been sent to Munich.Two months later, just before my mother arrived, Mort wrote me that the opera had been accepted, but that there was no time during the season for the actors to learn the recitation.It is estimated that the stage will start in early winter.So I reported the good news to my mother, and Tesser held a happy dance for me after hearing about it. My mother couldn't help crying when she moved into our beautiful house with a garden, and said that it was probably not a good thing to put down roots in a foreign land at her age.But I think it's a great thing. The Tessel brothers and sisters also agree with me. Bridgette is very enthusiastic and always helps my mother. It's really happy.The girl had no acquaintances in the city, and when her brother went to work in the theatre, she sat at home alone, often feeling quite bored.Now she comes often, not only to help us clean and tidy up, but also to help my mother navigate the difficult way of living a peaceful and friendly life together.She knew how to explain to the old lady when I needed to be quiet, to be alone, and she reached out to help me, hinting at things about my mother that I never would have guessed and my mother would never have told me demands and hopes.In this way, we built a small homeland. Such a peaceful homeland is completely different from the homeland I imagined in the past, but it is extremely beautiful and comfortable, far better than what I can imagine. Now my mother understands my music too.She didn't like all my work, she kept silent about most of them, but she saw it for herself and finally admitted that my music was not a pastime and a play, but a job and a serious thing I did.First, she was amazed to see that the life of a musician unfolded before her like a tightrope, as busy and laborious as my late father was at work.Now we can talk about our fathers better too, and gradually, I hear thousands of little stories about my father and my mother, my grandparents and my own childhood.It made me love and be more interested in my past age and family, and I no longer felt that I was outside the circle.My mother, on the other hand, learned to let me develop freely and trusted me even when I locked myself up at work or got wildly excited.She had always been on good terms with her father, so she had withstood the rigors of Frau Schnipper's reign; now she was trusting again, and, growing old and lonely, she gradually stopped nagging. In the midst of all these pleasant and temperate happiness, my pain and dissatisfaction--in which I had lived for a long time--disappeared completely.But I am not immersed in the illusory space, but want to rest in my own thinking deeply and steadily. At night, I often stare at the night with wide eyes and doubts, maintaining this right.Besides, it seemed that the more I lost myself in the past, the more clearly did my love and trouble scenes come before me, lingering and refusing to leave me, my silent warning. Sometimes I think I know how to love.I thought I had known love since I had been madly infatuated with the pretty and breezy Liddy in my boyhood.Later, when I saw Gertrude for the first time, I felt that love came again, and I felt that she was the one who could answer my questions and comfort my secret wishes.But the pain came again, and the friendship and clarity turned into trouble and darkness, and finally I lost her.But love still stays and stays forever, and I know that since Gertrude is in my heart, I will never pursue any other woman with passion, nor long for any woman's kiss . I occasionally visit her father, and it seems that he also knows about my relationship with her now.He asked me to send him the prelude, which I had written for her wedding, and he showed me an unspoken friendliness.He must have felt that I enjoyed hearing about her, but hated asking about her, and he told me many of her letters, in which he often spoke of me, of course my operas.In her letter, she wrote that she had found a very good female singer to play the leading role, and how happy she was to finally be able to listen to the complete performance of this work she was very familiar with.She was also happy to hear that my mother had moved in with me.What she wrote about Mott I don't know. My life is peaceful and quiet, and the torrent in my heart no longer flows upward.I was working on writing the Mass, and I already had a sacred music in mind, but I lacked the words.When I had to think about my opera, it was a foreign world to me.My music needs to take a new path, to become more simple and calm, and to be able to soothe people without exciting them. During this time, the Tessel brothers and sisters helped me a lot.We were together almost every day, reading, writing, walking, and spending holidays and outings together.It was only during the summer that I was separated from these robust rovers for a few weeks because I did not want to drag them down.The Tessels traveled again to Tirol and Vorarlberg, and sent me a small box of Centella.I sent my mother to live with a relative in North Germany for a while, and they invited her to play for many years, and finally I went to the shore of the North Sea myself.Day and night I sat and listened to the old music of the sea, searching for ideas and melodies in the strong fresh sea breeze.From then on, for the first time, I opened my heart and wrote to Gertrude in Munich - not to Mrs. Motter, but to my girlfriend Gertrude, telling her about my music and my dream.Perhaps, I thought, these letters would please her, and perhaps such a comfort and greeting would do her no harm.Yet my own heart made me suspicious of my friend Mort, who was always secretly worried about Gertrude.I know him all too well as a stubborn depressive who is used to letting his life fluctuate with his moods, to be dominated and victimized by dark desires all the time, while at the same time turning himself life as a tragedy.If loneliness and incomprehension were a disease, as Mr. Lowe had described it to me, Mott had it more than anyone else. But I haven't heard anything about him, he hasn't written to me himself, and Gertrude's letters always consist of a brief greeting asking me to go to Munich on time in the autumn, because as soon as the concert season begins, People are going to rehearse my opera. It was already the beginning of September when we all returned to the city to resume normal life. One night they wanted to see the works I wrote in the summer, so they gathered at my house again.My main score is a lyrical piece for two violins and piano.We played it again.Bridgettes played the piano, and I looked over the score to her head in a big bun of blond hair, the fringes of which gleamed golden in the candlelight.Her older brother stood beside her as first violin.It is a simple, folk-song-like little piece, narrated softly, slowly fading away in the summer twilight, neither happy nor sad, but like a fading cloud drifting in the dim yellow at sunset. in the sky.This piece of music was loved by the Tessel brothers and sisters, especially Bridget. She seldom expresses her opinions on my music works, and always keeps silent with a reserved attitude of a girl, and only looks at me with admiration. Because she sees me as a master of music.Today she is even more sincerely happy, showing that she likes this piece very much.Her bright blue eyes looked at me affectionately, and she kept nodding so that the candlelight flickered on her golden vows.She looked very pretty, almost a beauty. To make her happy, I wrote "To my girlfriend Bridgette Tessel" with a pencil on the music score as she played the piano, and then returned the music score to her. "The lines will remain on this piece forever," I said gallantly, bowing.When she read this dedication, her face gradually turned red, and she stretched out her powerful little hand to me, her eyes suddenly filled with tears. "Are you sincere?" she asked in a low voice. "Of course it is," I laughed. "Bridgette, I think this little piece is very suitable for you." She gazed at me in great astonishment, with tears still in her eyes, very serious and tender.But I didn't pay much attention to it. Tessel had put down the bow at this time. My mother understood what he wanted, and immediately picked up a glass of wine and handed it to him.The conversation turned lively, and we argued about a new operetta that had just opened a few weeks ago.I didn't think of this little incident between me and Bridgette until at night when the two siblings left and went out, and Bridgette looked at me with that rare uneasy look. During this time people were already reciting my works in the Munich theater.Mort, the leading man, was completely assured, and Gertrude praised the newly hired soprano, so for me the orchestra and chorus became the main thing.I asked my friends to look after my mother, and I set off for Munich. On the second morning after arriving, I walked through the wide and beautiful streets to Xuhuabin District, where Mott lived in a quiet house.I have completely forgotten about my opera, I think only of him, of Gertrude, and wonder how she is doing now.The carriage drives in.An almost country-style side street, in .It stopped in front of a small building; the house was surrounded by trees, and the golden leaves were piled up on both sides of the street, presenting an autumn scene.I walked in the door nervously. The room looked comfortable and grand, and a servant took my coat. I was ushered into a large room and saw two old oil paintings that I was familiar with hanging on the wall, which were brought from Mr. Imdo's house.On one wall hung a new portrait of Motte, painted in Munich, and while I was admiring it, Gertrude entered. Seeing her again after so long made my heart pound.Her features had become more serious, more mature, fully grown woman's, yet she smiled at me and held out her hand to me with the same joy as before. "How are you?" she asked kindly. "You look old, but you look good. We have been waiting for you for a long time." She asked about all her friends, about her father and my mother, and she greeted me with joy, forgetting her initial shyness, and I saw her become the same again.My restraint disappeared without a trace, and I chatted with her like a pair of old friends. I told her about my summer days at the seaside, about my work, about the Tessel brothers and sisters, and finally There was even a talk about poor Miss Schnipper. "Oh," she exclaimed, "your opera is about to begin: you must be delighted." "Yes," I said, "but I'm happiest to hear you sing again." She nodded at me and said, "I'm glad too. I sing it a lot now, but almost only to myself. We all love to sing your songs, and they're always close at hand, immaculately preserved. You Eat here, my husband will be back soon, and he can accompany you to see the conductor in the afternoon." We walked into the music room together, I sat in front of the piano, she sang my old songs, I was silent, trying to keep myself relaxed and happy.Her voice is more mature and authentic than before.Chaitan was as soft and light as ever, and brought my heart into the memories of the best days of my life. I pressed the keys fascinatedly, played the familiar notes softly, and closed my eyes from time to time to listen carefully. Listen, can no longer tell her present from her past.Doesn't she belong to me and my life?Aren't we as close as brother and sister and friendly?Granted, it was a different story when she and Mott sang together. We sat down and chatted for a while afterwards.We were happy but didn't talk much to each other because we didn't feel there was any difference of opinion between us.What was her condition, and what was her condition with her husband, I did not consider at the moment, but I thought it would be seen later.In any case, she will not go out of her own way, will not go against her own nature, and even if she encounters misfortune, she will endure it calmly and firmly. An hour later Mort came home.He has heard of my arrival.As soon as he arrived he talked about the opera, which was more important to everyone than to myself.I asked him how he was doing in Munich. "It's the same everywhere," he said gravely, "that the audience doesn't like me because they don't think I'm capable. I'm seldom an instant hit; Fascinated. Succeeded like that, not loved. Sometimes I do sing badly, I have to admit it myself. Well, your opera will be successful, you and I will not In vain. To-day we will go to the conductor, and tomorrow we will invite the sopranos, if you will. Tomorrow morning the orchestra will rehearse. I am sure you will be satisfied." At the dinner table, I noticed that he was very polite to Gertrude, which I didn't like very much.I saw the couple every day during my subsequent stay in Munich.They are a stunning pair that impresses wherever they go.But the relationship between the couple was cold, and I think it was only Gertrude's strength and inner goodness that was able to translate this coldness into such a polite and respectful form.It seemed she hadn't recovered from her long-term passion for her beautiful husband, and was still holding out hope for the return of her lost love.In any case, she thought he also needed appearances of beauty.She was too noble and good to reveal to her friends her disappointment and bewilderment, her secret troubles to anyone, though she could not hide it from me.I knew she would not tolerate any look of sympathy from me, any look of understanding or pity, and the two of us talked and acted like their husband and wife, without the slightest shadow. How long this situation can last is of course impossible to estimate, and it is entirely up to Mott. At last, for the first time, I saw a woman subdued his changing character.I felt sorry for them both, but it didn't seem very strange to me now that it was the way it was.The two of them had been in love, and enjoyed it, and now they had to choose between learning to sacrifice themselves and accepting only sad memories of the good times, or to forge a path to find new happiness and new love.Perhaps a child would bring them back together, away from the pleasures of wild love, but that would require a new kind of good will, an adaptation for living together.I know Gertrude has the strength and courage to make it happen.Whether Mott also possesses this power, I think it is better not to infer.It pains me that the ecstasy and joy of that great, beautiful first love between them is gone; and I am delighted by the good manners of both of them, not only in front of all, but in the presence of both of them. Each other has always maintained dignity and nobility. Mott invited me to live in his house, and I didn't accept it, nor did he push it.I went to their house every day, and I was glad to see that Gertrude liked me to go, chatted and played music with me happily, which showed that I was not the only one who enjoyed the two of us. The December premiere of my opera has been confirmed.I stayed for another two weeks, attended every orchestra rehearsal, and had to make some corrections and adjustments before the whole work was finalized.I was amazed to see the hero, heroine, fiddler, piper, orchestra conductor and chorus members all busy around, and I myself became an outsider, as if this living opera was no longer my work up. "Just wait and see," Heinrich Motte sometimes said to me, "you'll soon be breathing the air of public favor these days. I'd rather wish you no such success. Soon there will be You're going to be chased after the clamoring crowd, asking for your autograph, and you'll see how lovable and hilarious the reverence of the clamoring crowd is. Everyone's talking about your lameness now. Even This problem is also famous!" After all the necessary practice and rehearsals, I headed home and had to wait a few days before the official performance to get back.Tessel was asking me endless questions about the performance, and he considered a hundred orchestral details that I had overlooked.He was very excited and thrilled to see this performance, far more than I was.When I invited him to take his sister to the premiere, he jumped for joy.On the contrary, my mother's reluctance to share in the excitement did not make me feel out of place by going on a winter trip.I gradually realized that I was nervous and needed a glass of wine every night, otherwise I couldn't sleep. One morning, the Tessel brothers and sisters came to invite me to leave in a carriage. It was already early winter, and my hut was already deeply covered by the snow in the garden.Mother waved to us from the window, the carriage drove away, and Tessel sang a travel song in a thick scarf.All through the long journey he was like a child on Christmas holidays, with beautiful Bridgette, radiant and content, silently accompanying him.I am happy to have such a traveling companion, but at the same time I am very uneasy.Because I have already faced the upcoming events of the next day like a judge. Mott, who was waiting for us at the station, immediately sensed my clarity of mind. He laughed at me happily and said: "Young man, you have stage fright," "Thank God! You just happen to be a musician and not a philosopher." It seems that what he said was right, because my mood didn't calm down until the official performance, and I didn't sleep well during those nights.Of the few of us only Mott was at peace.Tessel was the most restless, participating in every rehearsal and offering endless criticism.During the rehearsal, he sat next to me and listened attentively. Whenever he encountered a tricky place, he beat the beat heavily with his fists, either praising or shaking his head. "There's a flute missing here!" he exclaimed at the first rehearsal of the orchestra, and the conductor looked at us displeased. I laughed and explained, "We've already deleted it." "Deleted the flute? Ah, why is that? What a joke! Please note that it will affect all your overtures!" I had to stop him with a smile, he couldn't talk so casually.But when he heard the viola and cello added to some of his favorite passages in the overture, he leaned back, closed his eyes, and whispered to me shyly while squeezing my hand tightly; "Wow, this part brought tears to my eyes. It's beautiful!" I haven't heard the voice of the new cast of Sopranos yet.Now hearing her strange singing voice for the first time, I couldn't help but feel a strange and painful feeling in my heart.The female singer sang very well, and I thanked her immediately, but I was thinking about that afternoon, and when I thought of Gertrude singing these lyrics, I felt an indescribable sadness in my heart, It was as if someone had stolen one of my most valuable possessions and now saw it in someone else's hands for the first time. I seldom see Gertrude these days. She noticed my anxiety and smiled and advised me to remain calm.I once took the Tessel brothers and sisters to visit her, and she received Bridgette warmly and cordially, and when Bridgette saw this beautiful and noble lady, she simply fell in admiration.From then on, the girl fell in love with the beautiful lady and praised her constantly, and her brother always echoed her. I can no longer recall clearly the scenes of the two days before the official performance, and a myriad of things are spinning in my mind.There were other unpleasant incidents, a male singer with a cold and a fever, another annoyed at not letting him play a bigger role, had a very bad attitude at the last rehearsal, and the conductor became more and more irritated. The more cautious and cold.It should be said that I still owe Mott's help. He just calmly laughed off all kinds of disturbances. In this situation, he is more valuable to me than the kind Tessel, who seems to be on fire. Going back and forth, finding fault here and there.Whenever we spent a few quiet hours together in the hotel, we almost always sat opposite each other in dejected silence, and Bridget just looked at me with admiration, and of course a little sorry expression. The days passed quickly, and the night of the official performance finally arrived.The theater was full, and I stood behind the stage with nothing to do and nothing to say.My last hope is on Mott, who is in a small room in his make-up In order to avoid the noise, he slowly sipped Xiangqi wine, and he had already emptied half of the bottle. "Would you like a drink?" he asked concerned. "No," I said. "Doesn't that excite you?" "What bothered me? The commotion outside? It always does." "I said wine." "Oh no! This stuff calms me down. Whenever I do something, I always have a drink or two first. I must go, it's time." A waiter led me into the box, and I saw Gertrude, the Tessels, and a senior member of the theater already present, and the gentleman greeted me with a smile. Then I heard the bell ring a second time, and Gertrude gave me a friendly look and nodded.Sitting behind me, Tessel grabbed my arm and held it tightly.The hall was darkened, and the music of my overture came to me solemnly from the audience.I am much calmer now. Now, the music that winds and reverberates before me is both familiar and strange, it has a life of its own, it is no longer mine.For me, all the pleasures and endeavors of the old days are over, all the hopes and sleepless nights of that whole period are over, all pain and longing are gone, and all the pleasures of the present are gone. Overwhelmed by the sound, the music resounded freely and unrestrainedly throughout the hall, making thousands of strange hearts excited in this mysterious moment.Mott came in, and he controlled his voice from weak to strong, and he sang, with his vague, natural enthusiasm, while the soprano sang with him in a trembling, lilting high note. .When I sang the last passage, the voice of Gatrude when she sang clearly echoed in my ears. For her, this music is admiration for her and a soft confession of my love.I turned to look into her quiet, pure eyes, she understood what I meant, and answered my gaze kindly. At this moment, I felt the full meaning of my youth, like smelling a scent of ripe fruit. Like the fragrance. From then on, my heart calmed down.I watched and listened like an ordinary audience.The applause sounded, the actors and actresses went to the front of the screen and bowed their thanks. Mott's name was constantly being called, and he walked towards the brightly lit hall with a calm smile.People also shouted at me to stand up and let everyone see; but I felt that I was in a daze, and I didn't want to limp out of my comfortable box. 台塞尔满脸笑容，象早晨的太阳，他紧紧拥抱着我，而那位高个儿的剧场领导也自动高举双手挥舞不停。 宴会早已准备就绪，大家原来也许以为这次演出失败了。我们乘上了马车，盖特露德和她的丈夫，我和台塞尔兄妹各乘一辆。在短短的路程中，布里琪苔最初一言不发，不一会儿却突然笑了起来。她开始还极力遏制自己，后来干脆用双手捂住脸面，听任泪水往下流淌。我没法安慰她，奇怪的是台塞尔也一言不发，也不询问她为何哭泣，他只是用胳臂搂着她，象哄一个孩子似的喃喃地抚慰着她。 后来，在一片鼓掌、道贺和祝酒辞中，莫特用嘲讽的目光望望我。人们恳切地询问我下一个创作计划，当我说是一首圣乐时，他们感到大为失望。于是就有人提议为我的下一个歌剧干杯，可是直到今天我始终没有写出来。 大家分散回家睡觉时已是深夜了。我这才有机会询问台塞尔，他的妹妹有什么地方不舒服，为什么哭泣。这时布里琪苔早已回家去休息。我的朋友审视地凝视着我，摇摇头，当我再一次问他时，他便吹了一声口哨。 “你真是一只瞎眼的鸡，”他停顿片刻后谴责地说。“难道你什么也没有觉察？” “没有，”我回答说，心里却渐渐地明白了原委。 “好吧，我就讲给你听。这丫头早就对你有好感。当然，她什么也没有告诉我，就象她什么也没有对你说一样，不过我早就发现这点了，坦白告诉你，倘若事情能够成功，我会很高兴的。” “啊，”我很难过地叹息着说：“可是今天晚上是怎么一回事呢？” “你问她为什么大哭吧？你真是个孩子！你以为我们什么也没有看见吗？” “看见什么？” “啊，我的上帝！你用不着告诉我什么，你不这么做是对的，不过你不应该这么凝视莫特太太。我们直到现在才明白真情。” 我请台塞尔务必不要泄漏我的秘密，他应允了。他轻轻把手搁在我的肩膀上。 “我已经全盘想了一遍，亲爱的朋友，我懂得你这几年中吞咽下了什么，而且一直对我们保持沉默。我过去也有过类似的事情。我们现在要勇敢地合作，共同创作一些美丽的音乐作品，好不好？等着瞧吧，布里琪苔会高兴起来的。行啦，把手伸给我，事情会好的！我和妹妹明天一早就动身回家，我们在家里再见吧！” 我们就这样分了手，他走出几步后又跑到我跟前叮嘱说：“你听着，下次公演时一定还得把笛子放进去，行不行？” 快乐的一天就此结束，我们每个人都清醒地躺着，沉浸在兴奋之中，久久不能入眠。我想着布里琪苔。最近这段时期中她一直在我身边，而我对她只有、也只愿意有良好的友谊，就象盖特露德对我一样，当她猜到我的爱情属于别人时，在她身上发生了与我当时同样的情况，就象我在莫特处发现盖特露德的信件而想自杀一样。当时我心里非常难过，却不得不装出微笑的样子。 我在慕尼黑又住了一段日子，经常和莫特夫妇在一起。这期间没有再出现我们三个人在那天下午第一次相聚时一起演奏、一起唱歌的情景；不过我们都在默默地回想着当时的情景，当时的一些余辉仍在我们的脑际里索绕。同时，在莫特和盖特露德之间也偶尔闪烁出一线光亮。当我最终和他们告别时，我还从街上对这座洒满冬天落叶的静静的住宅凝视了片刻，希望以后还能经常回来看看，我很乐意为屋里这一对夫妻重新和好并且永远相互帮助而奉献出我自己的一些快乐和幸福。