【Book Excerpt】 It's fun to open your eyes in the mood early in the morning. It was like playing hide-and-seek, hiding in a dark closet without moving. Suddenly, the door was opened by someone, and the light shone in. Then I heard the other party shouting loudly: "I found you!" It was so dazzling, Then there was a strange feeling, my heart was pounding, just like the feeling of grabbing the front of the kimono, coming out of the closet a little bit shyly, and then breathing out.No, no, it’s not this feeling, it should be an even more unbearable feeling; it’s like opening a box, and there’s a small box inside, and when you open the small box, there’s another small box inside, keep opening, and there’s another box , Open it again, there are still boxes, and then, seven or eight boxes, all opened, and then stop this endless, and finally a box the size of a dice appeared, gently opened it to have a look, inside is empty.It's kind of close to that feeling.

It's a lie to say that you open your eyes with a snap.My eyes were constantly cloudy, like starch gradually settling down, and then slowly cleared up little by little, and finally I felt tired and my whole body was awake.In the morning, I always feel a little empty.Sad things kept coming to my heart, which was unbearable.Hate!Hate!I am the ugliest in the morning.Maybe it's because I didn't sleep well. At this time, my legs are weak and I don't want to do anything. It is a lie to say that the morning is good for the body and mind.Mornings are gray, as they have always been, the most void.Lying on the bed in the morning, I always feel world-weary and annoying, and I regret all the scandals, and I even feel so depressed that my whole chest is stuffed up, and I can't sit still.

In the morning, it was abominable. I whispered: "Dad!".Embarrassed for a while, but happy.I turned up and quickly folded the quilt.When picking up the quilt, I yelled: Hey!It suddenly occurred to me that until now, I had never thought of myself as a woman who could say something as vulgar as sex. "Hey!" It sounded like an old woman yelling, which was annoying.Why do I make such a sound?Maybe somewhere in my body, there is an old woman living.I feel really uncomfortable, and I will have to pay more attention in the future.It's like frowning at people's vulgar way of walking, and at the same time, suddenly find yourself walking like this, which is very frustrating.

In the morning, I always have no confidence.Sitting in front of the mirror in pajamas, looking in the mirror without glasses, my face is a little blurry.Although I hate the glasses on my face the most, but glasses also have benefits that others cannot understand.I like to take off my glasses and look into the distance the most. The whole world becomes hazy, like a dream like a kaleidoscope. It feels great.No dirt can be seen, only huge objects, with sharp, strong light coming into view.I also like to take off my glasses and look at people.People's faces become soft, beautiful, and smiling.When I take off my glasses, I definitely don't want to argue with other people, and I don't want to utter bad words. I just stare silently and blankly.At that time, I always felt that everyone looked very kind, and would be content to be in a daze, wanting to act like a baby, and my mood became much gentler.

However, there are times when I don't like glasses.As soon as you put on glasses, the impression derived from the face disappears.The various emotions derived from the face, romantic, beautiful, intense, weak, innocent, and sad are all covered by glasses, and it is no longer possible to talk with winking eyes. Glasses are a monster. I've always hated my glasses and always thought having beautiful eyes was the best thing.Even if you don't have a nose and hide your mouth, seeing those eyes will make you want to live a better life, and you will feel great.My eyes were just too big to be useful, so I was rather disappointed to look into them.Even my mother said that I have dull eyes, which can be said to be dull eyes!Just the thought of it being like a briquette is depressing.Because of this, I feel so miserable!When facing the mirror, I always deeply hope to become moist and radiant eyes, eyes like green lakes, or eyes like eyes lying on the green grassland looking at the sky, which can often reflect the flow of white clouds, even birds. His figure was also reflected clearly.I really want to meet someone with beautiful eyes.

It will be May from today, and when I think of this, my heart is somewhat joyful.So happy because summer is almost here.Walking out of the courtyard, strawberry flowers came into view, and the fact of his father's death became unbelievable.Death and passing away are the most annoying things, which are really incomprehensible and confusing.I miss my sister, the friends I left, and the people I haven’t seen for a long time.These things of the past, the things of the predecessors, surrounded me like stinky pickles, it was really unbearable. Chucky, Karl (I called him Karl because he was a poor dog), came running up and sat down in front of me.I only like Chiapy, Chiapy's white hair is shiny and beautiful; but Carl is dirty.When I was stroking Qiapi, I could clearly see Carl's crying expression.I also know that Carl has only one leg.But I just don't like the sad look of it, it's just unbearably pitiful, so I deliberately treat it badly.Karl looks like a wild dog. It's hard to say when it will be caught and killed. Its feet are already like this. Even if it wants to escape, it won't be able to run fast!Carl, please go to the deep mountains quickly, because no one likes you, you should die early!Not only to Carl, but also to people, I will do bad things, bully and hurt others.I was such an annoying child, sitting in the corridor stroking Chapi's head, seeing the green leaves in front of my eyes, I suddenly felt embarrassed, and I really wanted to sit on the ground.

I want to try crying.Hold your breath, let your eyes bleed, maybe shed a little tear.I tried to do it, but there was no way, maybe I have become a woman without tears. Forget it, start cleaning the house.I hummed "Tang Ren Aji" while sweeping, and after a little recovery, I didn't expect that I, who is usually enthusiastic about Mozart and Bach, would also hum "Tang Ren Aji" unconsciously, which is also very interesting.He yelled when he picked up the quilt, and sang "Tang Ren Aji" while cleaning, so he must have become very bad, right?If this continues, what kind of obscene dream talk will come out?I feel very uneasy.But inexplicably felt it was ridiculous, so he stopped holding the broom and laughed alone.

I put on my freshly made underwear yesterday.There is a small white rose tattooed on the chest.Once the top is put on, the flower is invisible, so no one knows.For this, I am quite proud of myself. Mom was busy helping people as a matchmaker, so she went out early in the morning with disheveled hair.Since I was a child, my mother has always devoted herself to other people's affairs. Although I have become accustomed to it, I am still surprised and deeply admired by my mother's spirit.Maybe it's because my father only focused on studying, so my mother even did my father's share.Dad has long been socially isolated, but Mom is constantly in contact with kind people.Although they have different personalities, they can get along with each other with respect.What a beautiful and harmonious couple without ugliness, ah!I feel so proud, so proud.

Before the miso soup was warmed up, I sat at the entrance of the kitchen, staring blankly at the miscellaneous forest in front of me.I found that before, just now, I was always sitting at the entrance of the kitchen, looking at the miscellaneous forest in front of me in the same posture, thinking the same thing.In an instant, inexplicably thinking of the past, present, and future.This happens all the time. Sitting in a room talking with someone, the eyes move towards the corner of the table, then freeze, only the mouth moves.In such a state, there is a strange illusion, as if at some time, I was in the same state, talking about the same thing, I feel that I have seen the corner of this table before, or the past, the past and the past. Quietly and untouched, he came to himself.No matter how far I walk on the country road, I will definitely think that I have been here before.When I was walking, I would snap off the bean leaves on the side of the road, and then I thought, I did pick the bean leaves on this road.And I believe that no matter how many times I walk on this road, I will pick off the bean leaves again.Once I looked at my hands inadvertently while taking a bath, and thought that no matter how many years passed, I would also look at my hands so inadvertently while taking a bath, if I felt something.As soon as I thought about it, my mood sank for some reason.

One evening, when I put the rice in the rice bucket, it is a bit exaggerated to say that I had a flash of inspiration, but there was a feeling of something running around in my body, how should I say it?I think it should be the tail of philosophy!But once I let go of these thoughts, my head and chest began to become transparent, a kind of soft stillness in life, with a soft touch when rubbing jelly, slowly impacting me, beautifully and gently expanding to the whole body.At this time, I didn't think about philosophy, but I just had a premonition that I would live like a thief cat in silence.This feeling is unusual, even scary.If that feeling continues, it may become like a spirit possessed.I thought of Christ, but I didn't want to be a Christian.

I think it's all because I'm bored, I don't have any hardships in life, and I can't handle the hundreds or thousands of feelings I see every day, so these things turned into monsters and emerged one by one when I was in a daze Bar? Sit alone in a restaurant and eat.For the first time this year, I ate small cucumbers. From the green cucumbers, I know that summer is coming.There is something sad about the astringency of May cucumbers that makes the chest empty, prickly, itchy. Every time I eat alone in a restaurant, I really want to travel, I really want to take a train.Looking at the newspaper, a photo of Mr. Konoe was published in the newspaper.Mr. Konoe is a nice man, but I don't like his face, his forehead is not well formed.I like to read the copywriting of books published in newspapers.Since one word and one line probably cost one hundred or two hundred yuan in advertising fees, in order to maximize the effectiveness of each word, people racked their brains painfully to come up with famous sentences.I am afraid that there are not many articles like this in the world!I feel inexplicably happy. After eating, close the door and go to school.Although I thought it wouldn't rain, I wanted to take the good umbrella I got from my mother yesterday, so I took it with me. This umbrella was used by my mother when she was a girl. I am a little proud to find this interesting umbrella surface.I really want to hold this umbrella and walk on the streets of Paris.Once the war is over, this fantastic retro umbrella is bound to be in fashion, and it should go well with a lady's go-to hat.Put on a pink dress, a dress with a large collar, long black silk lace gloves, a hat with a wide brim, and a violet flower, and go to a restaurant in Paris for breakfast in the dark green season.Then I rested my cheeks in melancholy and looked at the continuous flow of people outside the window. At this time, someone patted me on the shoulder.Instantly, music rang in my ears, the waltz of roses.what!It's ridiculous!It's ridiculous!It's a pity that there is only this old-fashioned and strange long-handled umbrella in reality.I am really miserable and pitiful!Like a girl selling matches.In short, let's pull the weeds! When I went out, I pulled out the grass in front of the door a little.As a favor to my mother, maybe something good will happen today.The same is grass, why are there grasses that have been pulled out and grasses that are left to grow?Since there is no difference between the appearance of cute and uncute grass, why must we distinguish between like and hate grass?It doesn't make sense. Like or hate women, this is too willful subjective.After working for ten minutes, I hurried to the parking lot.When walking down the aisle, it is always tempting to sketch.On the way, pass the forest path of the shrine.Here's my newfound shortcut.Walking on the path in the forest, looking down inadvertently, wheat seedlings are growing everywhere every two inches.As soon as you see the green stalk wheat seedlings, you know that the army has been here this year.Last year, a large number of troops and horses were also stationed in the shrine forest to rest.After a while, I came here to have a look, and the wheat grew as quickly as today.These wheat seedlings will not continue to grow. This year, the wheat that also fell out of the barrels of the army, in the dark forest, can't get sunlight at all. It's really pitiful. If it goes on like this, it will definitely die... The above is excerpted from the book "Female Apprentice" by Taiwan Xiaozhitang Publishing House