Chapter 20 Chapter 19 Fatigue After Fear

By September and October, the plague had made Oran an isolated city.Due to the unabated epidemic, hundreds of thousands of residents had to wander around the city endlessly week after week.In the sky, fog, heat and showers followed.Flocks of thrushes and starlings from the south flitted soundlessly across the sky and circled the city, as if the god of plague that Father Paneloux described was waving that strange spear over the roofs, whistling, They were too scared to fly close.In early October, torrential rain washed the streets completely.During this time, the severity of the unabated epidemic hung over everything.

Rieux and his friends were exhausted.In fact, health and epidemic prevention personnel can no longer bear this kind of fatigue.Dr. Rieux became aware of this when he became aware of a strange indifference growing in himself and his friends.For example, these people had been very concerned about all the news about the plague before, but now they ignored it.Rambert was temporarily in charge of an isolation ward which had only recently been installed in his hotel, and he knew the number of people who were quarantined in him.He is very familiar with the details of the system he has formulated: once signs of plague are found, the sick must be transferred to the hospital for treatment immediately.In addition, he can vividly remember the experimental data produced by the serum used on isolated patients.However, he could not say how many people died of the plague each week.He really doesn't know whether the epidemic is getting worse or whether it is gradually easing.And, whatever the circumstances, he still hoped to be out of town soon.

As for the rest of the staff, they neither read the newspapers nor listened to the radio because they were so absorbed in their work day and night.If someone tells them about a medical effect, they pretend to be very interested, but in fact they ignore it casually, making people feel that they are like those soldiers who were exhausted from building fortifications in the Great War, only dedicated to it. Make their daily work error-free, and no longer have any hope of a decisive battle or an armistice. Although Grand continued to make the necessary calculations concerning the plague, it is certain that he could not get the total results.Unlike Tarrou, Rambert, and Rieux, he was not a person who seemed not to get tired easily; he was always in poor health, but he held several jobs at the same time: assistant to the city hall, secretary to Rieux. , and his own work at night.One can see that he is constantly in a state of exhaustion.He used to cheer himself up with two or three well-determined plans, such as taking a complete rest, at least a week, after the plague had been eradicated, in order to get serious about the "hat-off" he was currently working on. "The job is done.Sometimes, too, he would suddenly become overwhelmed with emotion, and on such occasions he would automatically talk to Rieux about Jeanne, wondering where she might be at the moment, and whether she would read the news in the papers. think of him.One day Rieux was talking to him about his wife in such a flat tone that Rieux himself was surprised because he had never talked like that before.The telegrams from his wife always said that she was fine and asked him to reassure him, but he was a little worried, so he decided to send a telegram to the nursing home where his wife lived to ask the chief physician.As a result, the other party called back to say that his wife's condition had worsened, but the hospital assured that all necessary measures were taken to control the condition and prevent it from getting worse.He had kept this news to himself, and now he could not explain why he had told Grand about it, unless it was due to fatigue.It turned out that the civil servant had first told him about Jeanne and then asked about his wife, and Rieux had answered. "You know," said Grand, "that it will be cured very quickly now." Rieux agreed, and quite frankly, that he was beginning to feel that he had been separated from his wife for a little too long, and said, If it hadn't been for this situation, he might have helped his wife overcome her illness, but now it seemed that she would feel very lonely.Afterwards he stopped talking, and answered Grandi's questions vaguely.

The same goes for other people.Tarrou is more able to withstand it, but from his notebook, he can see that he loves to ask questions. If it is not lost in terms of depth, then in terms of breadth, it is not as diverse as before.In fact, throughout this period it seemed that he was concerned only with Cottard.Since the conversion of the hotel into an isolation ward, he had moved to live with the Rieux.He didn't like to listen to Grand or Rieux talking about the fight against the epidemic in the evenings.He often did not hear a few words before turning the conversation to his usual concerns about the trivialities of Oran's daily life.

As for Castel, he came one day to inform Dr. Rieux that the serum was ready, and the two decided to take care of M. Othon's boy—the one who had just been admitted to the hospital and seemed hopeless to Rieux. ——Do the first test on the body.When the doctor reported the latest statistics to his old friend, he found him fast asleep in an easy chair.Usually Castel's face always showed a gentle and sarcastic expression, showing infinite youthful vitality, but at this time, what caught his eyes was a face that suddenly became lifeless. There was only a trace of saliva hanging from the half-open mouth, revealing his exhaustion and old age.Facing this face, Rieux couldn't help feeling sad and his throat choked.

Whenever his feelings were weak, Rieux realized that he was indeed tired.He couldn't help it, and his emotions showed.Usually, he is mostly able to control himself, appears to be very hard-hearted and unfeeling, but occasionally his emotions will explode, and sometimes even out of control.His only way of defense was to hide behind this hard-hearted exterior and to tighten the knots on the ropes that controlled his emotions in his heart.He knew it was a good way for him to keep going.For the rest, he had no more fantasies, and if he retained some, they were worn away by fatigue now, because, he knew, his duties would no longer be fulfilled in this endless period. It is to treat people, but to diagnose.It is his task to discover, observe, describe, register, and then conclude that the patient is suffering from an incurable disease.The patient's wife would grab him by the wrist and howl, "Doctor, save his life!" But he was not there to save lives, but to order isolation.He could see in their faces that people hated him, but what about hate?One day, someone said to him, "You don't have a heart!" How could you not?He has.It is this heart that enables him to work twenty hours a day and watch those who should be alive leave the world.It is this heart that keeps him working day after day.From now on, his heart is only enough to make him do this.How can such a heart be enough to save someone's life?

No!What he gives people all day long is not rescue, but information.Of course, that kind of thing cannot be called a real profession.However, among this group of people who are in constant anxiety and facing the catastrophe of the plague, who has the leisure time to engage in a real career?Fatigue is really good.If Rieux had cleared his mind, this smell of death that was emanating from everywhere would definitely make him feel emotional and deeply moved.However, people who are so busy that they only get four hours of sleep a day are not sentimental.To deal with things is to do business, that is to say, to act according to the principle of justice, an ugly mockery of justice.As for others, even those who are sick and blind, they feel this too.Before the plague, the doctor was regarded as a saviour, three pills and a syringe would do the trick, and they used to take him by the arm and walk him down the corridor.Although there is a danger of infectious diseases, it is pleasant after all.Now it's the exact opposite. When he goes to someone's house, he has to bring a few soldiers with him, and he has to hit the door with a gun butt before they come out and open the door, as if they are going to send this family to the road of death and all mankind on the way of death.well!It is true, that a man cannot live alone, that he feels as empty as these unfortunates, and that he deserves the pity of others, which is always in him whenever he is away from them. Feeling spontaneous in my heart.

These were at least some of Dr. Rieux's thoughts during these interminable days, and mingled with them was the loneliness of being separated from his loved ones.These thoughts were also reflected in the faces of his friends.All those who persevere in the fight against the epidemic are gradually feeling overwhelmed, but the most dangerous consequence of this fatigue is not their indifference to external developments and other people's joys and sorrows, but their concern for others. Their laissez-faire, careless attitude is due to their tendency to not bother to do anything that is not absolutely necessary, anything that they think is beyond their ability.Therefore, these people are more and more ignoring the hygienic rules they have made themselves. They also forget to follow some of the many regulations that they should disinfect themselves, and sometimes they rush to the hospital without even taking measures to prevent infection. To the patients whose lungs were affected by the plague, for they were called to the homes of the infected on a short-term basis, and they felt that they had no energy to go somewhere and instill the necessary anti-epidemic drugs for themselves.This was the real danger, for it was the struggle against the plague that made them the most vulnerable.In short, they are trying their luck, and luck is not available to everyone.

However, there was one man in the city who didn't look tired or discouraged, but still showed a smug expression.This is Cottard.He continued to be inseparable with others, but he chose Tarrou and went to see him whenever the latter was free.On the one hand, because Tarrou knew his situation well; on the other hand, because Tarrou always received the little pensioner with sincerity and never neglected.It was a continuous miracle: no matter how exhausting the work, Tarrou was always so kind and caring.There were even nights when he was exhausted, but the next day he was in good spirits.Cottard once said to Rambert: "I get along very well with Tarrou because he is very understanding. He is always considerate of others."

During that period, therefore, Tarrou's diaries gradually focused on Cottard.Tarrou had tried to reflect in his diary the thoughts and views on things that Cottard had told him, as they were, or as he understood them.This account, entitled "On Cottard's Relation to the Plague," takes up several pages in my notebook, and the author considers it necessary to present the main points of it here.Tarrou's general impression of the little pensioner can be summed up in one sentence: "He is a man growing in stature." On the surface at least, he seemed to be growing happier.He was not dissatisfied with the development of the situation, and in Tarrou's presence he sometimes expressed his deepest thoughts in words like this: "Of course, the situation is not getting better, but at least we are all in the same boat."

"Of course," Tarrou added, "he is threatened by the plague like everyone else, but fortunately he shares it with everyone else. In the second place, I am sure that he does not really believe that he himself will be infected." The plague. He seems to live on the idea, which, viewed from another point of view, is not a foolish idea: He would have no other illnesses or worries. He once said to me: 'Have you ever noticed that one does not suffer from all diseases at the same time. Suppose you have a serious illness or some disease: severe cancer or tuberculosis, you will never be attacked by plague or typhus, never possible. And this effect is much greater than the above, because you will never see a cancer The patient died in a car accident.' This thought, right or wrong, puts Cottard in a good mood. His only fear is that he is isolated from others. He would rather be surrounded by everyone. , rather than being a single prisoner. When the plague comes, there will be no secret investigations, files, cards, secret orders, and imminent arrests. To be more precise, it is the police station, the old Whether new crimes or criminals, all vanish into thin air, only those who have been 'sentenced' by the plague await its utterly arbitrary pardon, and among these are the policemen." Thus, According to Tarrou's explanation, Cottard had good reason to regard the apprehension and panic of the townspeople with a tolerant, considerate and satisfied attitude, as if to say: "Go ahead, talk about it. Anyway, I learned this kind of thing earlier than you.” "I once told him--but it was in vain--that the only way to keep yourself in touch with the crowd, after all, was to have a clear conscience. He looked at me maliciously and said to me: 'Then, as you In this way, people can never get along with each other (kouluo).' He went on to say: 'You can say what you like, but I tell you, the only way to bring people together is still to bring the plague together. Go among them. You better look around you.' Actually, I understand what he wants to say, and I understand how comfortable life is for him today. Certain reactions of others to things sometimes coincide with his The same, of course he can't help but see: everyone is trying to make everyone with him; sometimes he is enthusiastic to guide the lost, but sometimes he is very impatient; Every day, the noisy crowd stands in line at the entrance of the cinema, crowds all the theaters and dance halls, and crowds the public places like a rushing tide; people are afraid of having sex with others. Any contact, but the desire for human passion drives men and women close to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Obviously, Cottard has learned all this before. Except for women, because with his face... I guess when he needs to find a hooker, he restrains himself to avoid hurting himself by making a bad impression. "In short, the plague was good for him. The plague made the unwilling man its accomplice. Yes, obviously, an accomplice, and an accomplice who never tires of it. He approved of what he saw: The superstitions, the inexplicable fears, the impulsive temper of those who are restless; who try to avoid talking about the plague, but who go on talking about the peculiarities of the plague; Their frightened, pale faces at the first sign of a headache; their quick tempers and erratic moods—which make them take offense at someone's forgetting, or lament the loss of a trouser button." Tarrou often went out with Cottard in the evenings.He later recorded in his notebook how they walked among the crowds of people in the evening or late at night, shoulder to shoulder among the looming crowds of people, because there was only a street lamp with a faint light at a considerable distance.In this way, they followed the crowd to have fun in order to get rid of the shadow of the plague.This was the life of luxury and luxury that Cottard had been seeking in public entertainment a few months before, that life of dissolute pleasure which he had always dreamed of and could not be satisfied, and which now the whole town was craving.The prices of all things are rising irresistibly, but never before have people spent more money than they do now, and while most people lack the necessities of life, never have they consumed luxuries in such plentiful quantities.Gaming establishments of all kinds are opening up more and more for the leisure class, and this leisure life only reflects unemployment.Tarrou and Cottard sometimes spent considerable time following a couple.In the past, this kind of couple was always careful to avoid people's eyes and ears, but now they clung to each other and roamed unscrupulously all over the city, so hot that they got carried away, completely ignoring the people around them.Cottard couldn't help saying: "Ah! That's a good job!" In the face of this public frenzy, the blatant flirting, and the loud clamor of tipping all around him, he was elated, Shout out. However, according to Tarrou, there was not much malice in Cottard's attitude.Cottard used to say: "I've learned these things before them." This statement expressed not so much his elation as his misfortune.Tarrou wrote in his notebook: "I think he began to love these people who couldn't fly and couldn't get out of the city. For example, at every opportunity, he explained to them that the plague was not as terrible as everyone imagined. He He once said to me: "Listen to what they say: After the plague, I will do this, after the plague, I will do that... They don't want to live comfortably, but they want to worry about themselves. They even watch Not on my own side. Can I say: After I am arrested, am I going to do this or that? Being arrested is the beginning of things, not the end. But the plague... you want me to say something about me What do you think? They're poor because they can't let things be. I don't say that out of the blue.'" Tarrou went on to write: "Indeed, he did not speak lightly, and he correctly guessed the ambivalence of the inhabitants of Oran. They are desperately in need of the enthusiasm that brings them together, but at the same time they are alienated from each other by wariness. People know very well not to trust their neighbor, because he will infect you with the plague without your knowing it, and taking advantage of your unsuspecting him. If someone, like Cottard, spends He spends a lot of time discovering among his companions potential informers, and he understands this feeling, and will be very sympathetic to those who think that the plague will come down overnight. In spite of the possibility that preparations might come upon them just when they were lucky not to be infected, Cottard remained calm in the atmosphere of terror, because he had experienced all this before anyone else. so I don't think he is quite tormented by this uneasiness like other people. In short, like all of us who have not yet died of the plague, he feels that his freedom and his life are being destroyed every day. But, as he had experienced the taste of terror firsthand, he thought it perfectly normal that it was now the other person's turn to taste it. He is much better off alone. He is wrong in that, and in that he is harder to understand than other people; It’s worth knowing more about.” Finally, Tarrou narrated in his notebook an incident which confirmed the simultaneous existence of a strange psychology in Cottard and in the plague patients.This incident can roughly explain the unbearable atmosphere at that time, so I think it is very important. That day Cottard invited Tarrou to see the opera "Ornance and Eurydice" at the Municipal Opera House.The troupe that performed the play came to this city in the spring when the plague first broke out.The troupe, locked in the city by the plague, was obliged to re-enact the opera once a week after consultation with the city opera.And so, for several months, every Friday, the city opera rang out with Orpheus's soul-stirring elegy and Eurydice's feeble plea.However, the opera continued to be popular with the audience, and the sales rate was always high.Cottard and Tarrou were seated in the nave, where tickets were the most expensive, surrounded by the best people of the city.Those who arrive late are always trying to get their entry noticed.Under the dazzling lights in front of the curtain, when the musicians were softly tuning, I saw a figure clearly walking from one row of seats to another, bowing politely to the people seated, in a gentle voice As they talked, the people regained the composure they had lost hours earlier as they walked the dark streets of the city, dressing to drive away the plague god. During the whole of the first act, Ornans sings his dirge, weeping, with great ease, and several women in long skirts begin to comment elegantly on Orpheus' misfortune, and then he sings in a little aria Out of his affection.The audience responded with a moderate enthusiasm.One hardly notices the undue warbling of Orpheus' voice in the second act, and the slightly exaggerated mournful tone of his voice as he cries to the gods of the underworld for mercy.Some of his movements were erratic, but even connoisseurs recognized this lapse as stylistic, and credited it with adding luster to the opera singer's performance. It is not until the third act, when Orpheus and Eurydice sings a duet (that is, when Eurydice bids farewell to her lover), that there is a certain surprised reaction in the audience.As if the actor was waiting for this wave of the audience, or rather, as if the noise from the hall confirmed his inner feelings at the moment, he chose this moment in period costume, with his arms outstretched and his legs spread apart. He walked towards the footlights in front of the stage with a funny gesture, and fell down amidst the sound of pastoral songs.These idylls are always out of place, but at this moment the audience felt that for the first time it was really out of place, very out of time, because at the same moment the orchestra stopped playing and the pews rose to their feet. , began to slowly withdraw from the field.At first it was silent, like people leaving a church after a service, or walking out of a funeral home after visiting the remains of the dead. The women straightened their dresses and left dejectedly. Let them hit the extra seats that get in the way.But gradually the fluctuations intensified, the whispers turned into screams, and the crowd swarmed toward the exit, huddling together, bumping into each other, and shouting.Cottard and Tarrou had just risen to their feet and had witnessed a scene in their life at the time: seeing the plague befalling the stage in the form of a grotesquely bent actor, while the theater All the luxurious ornaments, such as those forgotten folding fans and the messy lace on the red chairs, were reduced to useless waste.