Chapter 22 Chapter Twenty Two

The next morning, the chess match was to be held at the "Beverly Hills Hotel."Mister Tribble and I arrived early and he signed me up for a full day of racing. Basically, it's no big deal.It took me about seven minutes to tackle the first guy, who was a regional guru and a professor at some university, which made me secretly happy.I beat a professor after all. Next up was a boy of about seventeen, and I probably finished him off in less than half an hour.He threw tantrums, cried and fussed, and his mother had to put him away. Day one and day two I played against all kinds of opponents and beat them all pretty quickly, which was a relief because, I was playing chess with Big Sam and I had to sit there and not go to the bathroom or anything Yes, because when I get up, he will move the chess pieces to cheat.

In short, when I reach the finals, there will be a one-day break in the middle.I went back to the hotel with Mr. Tribble and found a message from Mr. Feder who made the movie.The note said: "Please call my office this afternoon to arrange an audition tomorrow morning." There was also a phone number on it. "Well, Forrest," said Mr. Tribble, "I daren't say that. What do you think?" "I don't know," I said, but, frankly, it sounded like an exciting thing to do, to make a movie or something. Maybe I'll get to know big stars like Marilyn Monroe.

"Oh, I guess it's all right," said Mr. Tribble, "I think I can make a phone call and make an appointment." So he called Mr. Feder to find out when and where we were going, and then suddenly he covered the phone Ask me: "Forrest Gump, can you swim?" I said: "Yes." He said into the microphone: "He can." After he hung up, I asked them why they wanted to know if I could swim, and Mr. Tribble said he didn't know, but he figured we'd find out when we got there. The studio we went to was different from the last time. The guard at the gate took us to the audition.Mr. Feder was arguing with a Marilyn Monroe lookalike, but when he saw me, he was all smiles.

"Ah, Forrest," he said, "it's great that you're here. You just walk in that door to the 'makeup and costume department,' and they'll let you out when they're ready for you." So I went in that door and there were two ladies inside and one of them said to me, "OK, take off your clothes." I was nervous again, but I did.Once I was done undressing, the other lady handed me a funny rubber suit with scales all over it and webbed hands and feet.She told me to put it on.It took nearly an hour for the three of us to barely put it on for me. Then they pointed me in the direction of the "make-up department". When I got there, they told me to sit on a chair, and a lady and a gentleman put a huge rubber mask on my head, joined it with the costume, and put it on. The seams are painted over.When it was done, they told me to go back to the set.

The webbed feet made it almost impossible for me to walk, and the webbed hands made it difficult for me to open the door, but finally I managed.I found myself outdoors, with a large lake, and tropical plants like banana trees.Mr. Feder saw me, jumped back, and said, "That's great, lad! You're perfect for the part!" "What role?" I asked. He was like, "Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm doing a remake of 'Monster from the Black Lake.'" Even an idiot like me could guess what he wanted me to do. Mr. Feder motioned for the lady with whom he had just argued to come over. "Forrest," he said, "introducing you to Marilyn Monroe."

Ugh, a feather could have knocked me out back then!It's her!She was all dressed up in low cut dresses and stuff. "Nice to meet you." I said through the mask.But Marilyn Monroe turned to Mr. Feder, as angry as a wasp. "What did he say? He was talking about my tits, wasn't he!" "No, baby, no," said Mr. Feder, "he just said it was nice to meet you. You couldn't hear me because he had a mask on." Anyway, Mr. Fader said the scenario would go like this: Marilyn Monroe would struggle in the water, pass out, and then I would emerge from under her and lift her out of the water.But when she woke up, she looked up and saw me, and immediately screamed in terror, "Put me down! Help! Rape!" and all that nonsense.

But, said Mr Fader, I would not let her go, because there were bad men chasing us: I would carry her into the jungle. Uh, let's try and shoot this scene.After the first shot, I thought it was pretty good, and it was exciting to actually hold Marilyn Monroe in my arms, even though she kept yelling, "Put me down! Help! Police!" But Mr. Fader said it wasn't good enough and told us to do it again.This one-pass was not good enough, and it ended up being about fifteen takes of the scene.During the breaks, Marilyn Monroe was always picking and complaining and cursing Mr. Feder, but he kept saying, "Great, baby, great!" crap.

However, I gradually had a big problem myself.After wearing this monster costume for almost five hours without a zipper or anything to unzip it, I'm about to explode.But I don't want to mention it because it's a real movie and I don't want to piss anyone off. But I had to figure it out, so I decided that the next time I went into the water, I'd pee in my clothes, and the pee would go into the lake from my pant leg or something.Uh, after a while, Mr. Feder shouted: "Shoot!" I went into the water to pee.Marilyn Monroe floundered and then passed out, and I dived in and grabbed her and carried her ashore.

She woke up and hit me and yelled, "Help! Kill me! Put me down!" and so on, but then suddenly she stopped shouting and said, "What's that smell?" Mr. Feder yelled, "Kah!" And he got up and said, "What did you say, honey? It wasn't in the script." Marilyn Monroe was like, "Fuck the script: something stinks in here!" Then she suddenly looked at me and said, "Hey, you—whoever you are—did you take a pee?" I was so embarrassed and overwhelmed.I stood there, holding her, and I shook my head and said, "Uh, no." That was the first lie in my life.

"Humph, someone's pissed," she said, "because I knew it was piss when I smelled it! It wasn't me! So it must be you! How dare you piss on me, you big fool!" Then she Started punching me and yelling, "Put me down," get the hell out! "Wait, but I thought the scene was starting again, so I picked her up and walked into the jungle. Mr. Fader yells, "Shoot!" The cameras start rolling again, and Marilyn Monroe hits and grabs and yells like never before. "That's right, baby—that's great! Go on!" I saw Mr. Tribble sitting in a chair on the sidelines too, shaking his head and looking away.

Well, after a short walk into the jungle, I stopped and looked back to see if this was the spot where Mr. Feder was supposed to yell "Ka!" Saying: "Great, baby! Just what I want! Carry her into the jungle!" Marilyn Monroe was still grabbing me and beating me, screaming "Get off, you disgusting brute!" or something, but I kept walking as I was told. Suddenly, she screamed, "My God! My clothes!" I hadn't noticed it before, but now I looked down, and damn it, something caught her dress and ripped it off!Marilyn Monroe naked in my arms! I stopped and said, "Ooooh!" and turned and hugged her back, but she screamed, "No, no! You idiot! I can't go back like this!" I asked her what she wanted me to do, and she said she had to find a place to hide and wait until she thought it through.So I kept walking into the depths of the jungle, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a big thing appeared through the treetops, hanging on the vines and swinging towards us.The thing swung past us and I could tell it was an ape, then it swung back and landed on us.I almost passed out.He turned out to be Sue! marilyn.Monroe started screaming again, and Sue hugged me tightly by my leg.I don't know how he recognized me in this monster suit, I guess he smelled me or something.Anyway, Marilyn Monroe finally said, "You know this damn baboon?" "He's not a baboon," I said, "he's a real ape named Sue." She looked at me a little funny and said, "Since he is a male, why is he called Su?" "It's a long story," I said, anyway; Marilyn Monroe kept trying to cover herself with her hands, but Sue knew what to do.He tore two large leaves from the banana tree and gave them to her, and she partially covered herself. I found out afterward that we had passed our jungle set and gone to another set that was doing a "Tarzan" movie and Sue was going to be an extra.Not long after I was rescued in New Guinea, the white hunters showed up and took Sue and sold him to a trainer in Los Angeles.They've been using him for movies ever since. Anyway, no time for small talk at the moment, because Marilyn Monroe is picking and cursing again, saying, "You've got to get me some clothes!" Well, I don't know where to find clothes in the jungle, even on set, so we Just keep going, hoping to meet something. Sure enough, we met.Suddenly we came to a fence, and I figured there was somewhere in the fence where I could get clothes for her.Sue found a loose plank in the middle of the fence, and he took it off and let us crawl through, but as soon as I stepped over to the other side, there was nothing under my feet, and Marilyn Monroe and I rolled down a hill.We rolled all the way to the foot of the mountain, and I looked back, terrified!We actually rolled onto the side of a big road! "Oh my God!" exclaimed Marilyn Monroe, "We're on the Santa Monica highway!" I looked up and Sue was bouncing down the hill.The three of us just stood there on the curb, Marilyn Monroe trying to cover herself as she moved the banana up and down. "What do we do now?" I asked.The car whizzed by, we must look very strange, but no one paid any attention. "You've got to show me somewhere!" she yelled. "I've got to find clothes to put on!" "Where are you going?" I said. "Whatever!" she screamed, and we turned onto the Santa Monica highway. After walking for a while, she saw "Hollywood" in large white characters on a hill from a distance, and Marilyn Monroe said, "We have to go down this ghost road to Rodeo Drive, where I can buy some clothes." She has been busy covering her body—every time there is a car coming from the opposite side, she covers the front with the banana leaf, and when a car comes behind, she moves the leaf to the back to cover the buttocks.If there are cars coming in front and behind, it will be a wonderful scene-like a fan dance. So we went off the road and across a large field. "Does that damn monkey have to follow us?" said Marilyn Monroe. "We look ridiculous enough!" I didn't say a word, but I looked over my shoulder and there was a pained look on Sue's face.He had never met Marilyn either.Monroe, I think he felt sad. Anyway, we kept walking, but still no one paid any attention to us.We ended up on a very busy street, and Marilyn Monroe said, "Jesus—it's Sunset Boulevard! Now how do I explain that I'm crossing the street in broad daylight with my butt naked!" I can understand that.I'm glad I'm wearing this monster costume so no one will recognize me - even if I'm walking with Marilyn Monroe. We got to the traffic light, the signal turned green, the three of us crossed the street, and Marilyn Monroe was doing her fan dance, smiling at the people in the car like she was on stage. "I'm so ashamed," she hissed at me under her breath. "I'm blasphemed! After this is over, I'm going to make you look good, you bloody idiot!" Some of the people sitting in the cars waiting for the traffic lights honked and waved because they recognized Marilyn Monroe. After crossing the street, several cars turned and followed us.By the time we got to Wilshire Avenue, we had drawn a sizable crowd; people came out of houses and stores to follow us, and Marilyn Monroe was as red as a pig's liver. "You're never going to work in this city again!" she said to me, smiling at the crowd, but her teeth were set. We walked a little longer, and she said, "Ah—it's finally here—Rodeo Drive." I looked around the corner, and sure enough, there was a women's clothing store.I patted her on the shoulder and pointed to the store, but Marilyn Monroe said, "Well—that's Bobagallo. It's hell to wear a Bobagallo these days." So we walked around a little bit more, and she said, "Here's to—Jani—here's some good stuff." So we went in. A man with a mustache and a white suit with a handkerchief sticking out of his pocket watched us warily as we entered. "Can I help you, ma'am?" he asked. "I want to buy a dress." Marilyn Monroe said. "What style do you want?" said the guy. "Whatever, you fool—don't you see what's going on!" Well, the male clerk pointed to two dresses and said there might be a size that fit her there, so Marilyn Monroe decided to go over and research. "Is there anything I can do for you gentlemen?" the guy said to me and Sue. "We're just here with her." I looked back, and there was a crowd outside the store, with their noses pressed against the glass windows. Marilyn Monroe took eight or nine dresses and tried them on later.After a while she came out and said, "What do you think of this one?" It was something like a brown dress with a lot of belts and suspenders and a low neckline. "Oh, hard to say, honey," said the clerk, "somehow—it doesn't suit you." So she went back and put on another one, and the clerk said, "Well, that's great! You look so beautiful !" "I bought it," Marilyn Monroe said.And the clerk said, "Okay—how do you pay the bill?" "What do you mean?" she asked. "Uh, is it cash, check, or credit card?" he said. "Hey - idiot - can't you see I don't have that stuff on me? Where do you think I put it!" "Ma'am, please—let's not be rough," said the clerk. "I'm Marilyn Monroe," she told the guy, "and I'll send someone to pay the bill later." "I'm sorry, miss," he said, "but we don't do business like that." "But I'm Marilyn Monroe!" she roared. "You don't know me?" "Listen, miss," said the fellow. "Half the people who come in say they're Marilyn Monroe or Farrah Fossey or Sophia Loren or something. Do you have ID?" "ID!" she yelled. "Where do you think I'd hide my papers?" "No papers, no credit cards, no money—no clothes," the clerk said. "I'll prove that I'm Huai," Marilyn Monroe said, suddenly tearing off her upper body dress. "Who else has tits like mine in this place!" she screamed.The crowd outside the store slammed on the glass, yelling and cheering.But the clerk pushed a little button, and a big security guard came up and said, "Okay, everyone's under arrest. Just follow me and you'll be fine."