Chapter 9 Chapter nine

I went halfway around the world again, this time in Beijing, China. The other players on the table tennis team were very kind, they came from all walks of life, and they treated me especially well.The Chinese are also very nice, they are very different from the Asians I saw in Vietnam.First, they are neat and polite.Second, they didn't want my life. The US State Department sent a guy with us to teach us how to deal with the Chinese, but he was the only one I knew who wasn't very nice.Honestly, he's a bastard.His name was Mr. Wick, he had a thin beard, he always carried a briefcase, and he worried all the time about whether his shoes were shiny, his trousers were ironed, and his shirt was clean.I bet he spits and polishes his ass when he wakes up in the morning.

Mr. Wick keeps staring at me. "Forrest Gump," he said, "the Chinese bow to you. You must bow back. Forrest Gump, stop arranging your clothes in public. Forrest Gump, what is that stain on your trousers? Forrest Gump, your table manners are like A pig." On this last point, perhaps he was right.The Chinese ate with two thin sticks, but it was almost impossible to get food into their mouths with that, so most of the food fell on my clothes.No wonder you don't see a few fat Chinese people.In this era, they really should learn to use a fork. Anyway, we have a lot of matches against the Chinese, they have some very good players; but we hold our ground.In the evening, they almost always arranged programs for us to attend, such as going out to dinner, or listening to concerts.One night we were scheduled to go to a restaurant called Peking Duck, and when I went down to the lobby, Mr. Wick said, "Gump, you gotta go back to your room and change this shirt. Like a food fight?" He took me to the counter of the hotel, and found a Chinese who can speak English to write a note for me, saying in Chinese that I was going to "Beijing Roast Duck Restaurant", and then asked me to take the note to the taxi driver Look.

"Let's go first," said Mr. Wick. "You give the taxi driver the note and he'll take you." So I went back to my room and put on a new shirt. Anyway, I hailed a taxi in front of the hotel and got in, and the driver drove away from the hotel.I kept looking for a note to show him, but by the time I realized I must have left it in a dirty shirt pocket, we were downtown.The driver kept turning his head and babbling at me. I guessed he was asking me where I was going, so I repeated in English: "Beijing Roast Duck, Peking Duck." But he spread his arms and drove me around the city of Beijing. .

This took about an hour in the car, but let me tell you, I did see a lot of places.Finally I tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned his head, I said, "Peking duck," and flapped my arms as if they were duck wings.Suddenly, the driver just smiled, he nodded desperately, and drove the car away from that area.From time to time he looked back at me, and I flapped my arms again.About another hour later, he parked the car and I looked out the window, and damn it, he drove me to the airport! Well, by this time, it was late, I hadn't had dinner or anything, and I was starving, so I asked the driver to drop me off when I passed a restaurant.I handed him a stack of renminbi they gave me, he gave me some back, and drove away.

I went into the restaurant and sat down, and it was like being on the moon.The lady came over, looked at me with funny eyes, and handed me a menu, but the menu was written in Chinese. After a long time, I simply pointed to four or five different things, thinking that there must be one of them. eat it.To be honest, those few dishes were delicious.After eating, I paid the bill, went to the street, tried to feel my way back to the restaurant, but after walking for about several hours, they took me away. The next thing I knew I was in jail.There was a tall Chinese man who could speak English. He asked me all kinds of questions and asked me to smoke, just like the plot in an old movie.It was not until the next afternoon that they finally freed me; Mr. Wick came to the prison, and after an hour or so of negotiation, they released me.

Mr. Wick jumped in anger. "You see, Gump, they thought you were a spy?" he said. "Do you know what kind of harm this will do to our overall efforts? Are you crazy?" I was about to tell him, "No, I'm just an idiot," but then forgot.Anyway, after that incident, Mr. Wick bought a big balloon from a street stand and tied it to the button of my shirt so he could know where I was "at any time." Also, since then, he has pinned a note to the hem of my clothes, stating my identity and where I live.It made me feel like an idiot. Our table tennis match is coming to an end, and I can't count who won and who lost.Now I have become something like the Chinese nation, the British.

"Forrest," said Mr. Wick, "your stupidity appears to be a merit. I have received reports that the Chinese envoy is willing to begin discussions on the possibility of re-opening diplomatic There's a big parade downtown for you, so I expect you to behave." The parade took place two days later, and it was a spectacle.There are about 100 million Chinese on both sides of the street, and they all waved and bowed and so on as I passed.The parade is scheduled to end at the Great Hall of the People, which can be regarded as China's Capitol Hill, and Chairman Mao will personally receive me.

When we got there, Chairman Mao was clean and happy to see me.They had set up a big table for lunch, and I was seated next to Chairman Mao.In the middle of lunch, he came up to me and said, "I heard you fought in Vietnam. What do you think about this war?" An interpreter translated his words to me, and I thought about it for a while, but I Figured, what the hell, he wouldn't ask if he didn't want to know, so I said, "I think it's a shit war." The translator relayed it to him, Chairman Mao looked at me with a look of astonishment on his face, but then his eyes lit up, he smiled big, shook my hand and nodded, the people next to him hurriedly took pictures of this scene, and later on American newspaper.But before that, I never told anyone what I said that made him laugh so hard.

On the day of departure, when we walked out of the hotel, a large group of people cheered and applauded and watched us off.I looked back and there was a Chinese mom in the crowd with a little boy on her shoulders and I could tell he was a real idiot - cross-eyed, tongue hanging out, drooling, babbling, like their idiots look like.Ugh, I can't help it.Mr. Wick had ordered us never to approach any Chinese without his permission, but I went anyway.I had two ping-pong balls in my pocket. I took out a ball, took a pen and drew my logo X on the ball, and then gave the ball to the little boy.He stuffed it into his mouth right away, but, after that was over, he reached up and grabbed my fingers.Then he smiled - a big grin - and all of a sudden I saw tears in his mother's eyes and she started babbling and our interpreter told me it was the first time the little guy laughed .There are things I can tell her, I think, but we don't have time.

Anyway, I started off and the little boy threw the ping pong ball and it bounced right on the back of my head, lucky me.Someone actually took a picture of it at that very moment, and it ended up, of course, in the papers. "Children in China reveal his hatred of American capitalists," the caption reads. Anyway, when Mr. Wick came and pulled me away, I didn't know what happened, and we were already on the plane.Mr. Wick was sitting next to me, and the announcement on the plane told us not to get up, but to put on our seat belts.Ugh, I just turned my head to look at him and let out the biggest fart of my life.That fart sounds like a chainsaw.Mr. Wick raised his eyes and said, "Ah!" Then he clapped his hands to fan the air, and at the same time hurriedly unfastened his seat belt.

A nice stewardess came over to see what the commotion was all about, and Mr. Wick was coughing and choking, and all of a sudden I was fanning the air too, pointing at Mr. Wick, and yelling "who Come open the window!" bullshit.Mr. Wick, his whole face flushed, protested and pointed at me, but the stewardess just smiled and went back to her seat. After he stopped stuttering and all, Mr. Wick adjusted his collar and said to me in a subdued voice, "Gump, that's the most vulgar thing you've done." But I just grinned and looked straight ahead. After returning home, they sent me back to Fort Dix, but they didn't arrange for me to return to the steam company. Instead, they said that I would be discharged early.After a day or so at most, I was discharged.They gave me a little money for my journey home, and I had a little money myself.Now I have to decide what to do next. I know I should go home and see my mom because she's living in a poor house and all.I thought it was time for me to start a shrimp business too and start making a difference in my life, but in the back of my mind I was thinking about Jenny at Harvard.I took the bus to the train station, and along the way I thought hard about what to do.But when it came time to buy a ticket, I told the conductor that I was going to Boston.Sometimes you just can't let the right thing get in your way.