Chapter 40 forty

During the month after Stroeve's departure, I was so busy with my business that I never saw anyone connected with this tragic event, nor did I give it any more thought.But one day, as I was out on errands, I saw Charles Strickland on the road.At the sight of him all those exasperating events which I would have preferred to forget came back to my mind, and I felt a wave of disgust at the man who had caused this disaster.But it would be childish to pretend not to see him, so I nodded to him, then quickened my pace and continued on my own way.But immediately there was a hand on my shoulder.

"You're busy," he said earnestly. It was one of Strickland's traits to be very genial to anyone who dismissed him; and he knew quite well what I thought of him from the indifference with which I had greeted him just now. "Quite busy." My answer was very short. "I'll walk a little way with you," he said. "What?" I asked. "Because I'm happy to be with you." I didn't say anything, and he walked with me in silence.We walked like this for about a quarter of a mile.I'm starting to think it's a little funny.We ended up walking past a stationery store and it occurred to me that I might as well go in and buy some paper so I could ditch him.

"I'm going in to do some shopping," I said, "bye." "I'm waiting for you." I shrugged my shoulders and went into the stationery store.It occurred to me that French paper was not good, and since my original plan had failed, there was no need to add to the burden of buying things I didn't need.So I asked one or two things they were sure they wouldn't have, and walked out in a minute. "Did you get what you wanted?" he asked. "No." We walked on in silence again, and finally came to a junction where several roads intersected.I stopped on the side of the road.

"Which way are you going?" I asked him. "Walk with you." "I go home." "I'll come to your place for a pipe." "You have to wait for someone to invite you." I said coldly. "If I knew there was a possibility of being invited, I would have waited." "Do you see that wall up ahead?" I asked, pointing forward. "I see." "If you still have this vision, I think you will see that I don't welcome you." "To be honest, I guessed that." I laughed out loud.I can't hate someone who can make me laugh, maybe that's a weakness in my character.But I immediately scowled.

"I think you are a very annoying person. How could I be so unlucky to meet you, the most annoying thing. Why do you want to pester someone who hates you and looks down on you?" "You think I care what you think of me, man?" "Damn it!" I said, pretending to be even more annoyed, feeling that my motives were not at all valid. "I don't want to know you." "Are you afraid that I will bring you down?" His tone made me feel very ridiculous.I knew he was squinting at me with a mocking smile on his face. "I guess you're in a pinch again!" I said haughtily.

"I'd be a fool if I thought there was any hope of getting money from you." "If you force yourself to please others, it means that you are too poor now." He grinned. "You'll never really hate me as long as I am entertaining you now and then." I couldn't help biting my lip to hold back the laughter.Hateful as he was, there was a certain truth to what he said.In addition, there is another weakness of my character: I am willing to be with anyone, as long as they can confront me with words, even if they are very morally depraved.I began to feel that my distaste for Strickland could only be sustained by my own efforts.I recognized my mental weakness, and saw that my attitude towards him was a bit of an affectation.And I knew that if I had felt it myself, Strickland's keen powers of observation would not have failed to see it.He must be secretly laughing at me.I shrugged my shoulders and said nothing more, allowing him to gain the upper hand in this war of words.