Chapter 3 three

But all this is beside the point. I was very young when I wrote my first book, but by chance it attracted attention and many people wanted to make my acquaintance. When I was first introduced to the literary world of London, I was eager and shy; and I recall the circumstances now with a sense of desolation.I haven't been to London for a long time. If the description in the novel published now is true, London must have changed a lot.The place where the literati meet has changed.Chelsea and Bloomsbury replaced Hampstead, Notting Hill Gate, High Street and Kensington.A man who was regarded as a great man at the age of forty would be considered ridiculous now at the age of twenty-five.I think in the old days we were all ashamed of showing our feelings, for fear of being ridiculed, and so restrained ourselves from giving the impression of arrogance.I don't think the elegant and unrestrained poets and writers at that time were so dignified, but I don't remember that there were so many romantic affairs in the literary and art world at that time.We do not consider it hypocrisy to cast a dignified silence over some of our absurdities.We are reserved, not always outspoken, and outspoken in everything we say.At that time, women had not yet fully achieved absolute autonomy.

I live near Victoria Station; I still remember that when I visited some hospitable literary families, I always took a long circle in the city, and because of my shyness, I often walked up and down the street several times. I mustered up the courage to ring the doorbell.Then, sweating in my heart, I was let into a stuffy room full of guests.I was introduced to this luminary, that giant, and the compliments they said about my book made me fidget.I knew they were all expecting me to say something witty, but when the tea party was over I still couldn't think of anything witty.In order to cover up my embarrassment, I scrambled to serve tea and water to the guests, and handed people the shapeless cut bread and buttered bread.I hope that no one will pay attention to me, let me observe these famous people with peace of mind, and listen to their witty words.

I remember meeting quite a few women with strong bodies and straight backs.These women have big noses and piercing eyes, and their clothes look like armor; I also saw many skinny, wizened spinsters like little mice, with soft voices and roving eyes. .I'm often amused by their habit of always eating buttered toast with gloves on; and I admire them for wiping their fingers on chairs when they think no one's looking.It is certainly not a good thing for the master's furniture, but I think the master will certainly take revenge on her friend's furniture when it is her turn to visit these people's homes.Some of these women were well-dressed, and they said they could never see why a man should be disheveled just because he had written a novel.If you are slim why not try to show it off?Stylish shoes for pretty little feet will never prevent an editor from accepting your manuscript.But there were those who found it immodest, wearing artistic textiles and jewels in wild tones.Men's clothes are average but rarely outlandish.They try not to be seen as writers, and always want to be thought of as sophisticated.No matter where they go, people think they are senior clerks in a big company.These people always look a little tired.I've never had any contact with writers in the past, and I find them strange, but I always feel that these people don't seem like real people.

I also remember that I always found their conversation witty.No sooner had one of their fellows turned round than they would criticize him to the brim; and I always listened with astonishment to their biting humor.Artists have one advantage over men of other trades, that they may ridicule not only the character and appearance of their friends, but their writings.Their commentary was spot on and their words flowed beyond me.In those days conversation was still regarded as an art to be cultivated, a clever reply was more appreciated than a crackling thorn under a pot, and aphorisms were not yet a tool for stupid people to pretend to be wise , a few casual phrases in the chatter of refined characters can make a conversation interesting.Unfortunately, I can't recall any of these wonderful words now.I just remember the most comfortable conversations when these guys were talking about the other side of the business they were in -- talking about the details of making deals.After we evaluate the pros and cons of a new book, we naturally have to guess how many copies the book has sold, how much the author received in advance, and how much money he can get in total.We'll talk about this and that publisher later, comparing the generosity of this one with the miserliness of that one.We still have to debate whether to give the paper to this well-paid person or whoever is good at publicity and sales.Some publishers are not good at advertising, and some are very good at it.Some publishers are staid, others are adaptable.Later we'll talk about some publishing agents and the connections they've made for us writers.We also have to talk about editors and what kind of work they welcome, how much they pay for a thousand words, and whether it is paid quickly or slowly.These are very romantic to me.It gave me an intimacy of being a member of this mysterious fraternity.