Chapter 34 Chapter Thirty-Three

Three nurses looked after Toby in shifts day and night.They are hardworking, competent, and robot-like with no personality.Jill is grateful for their presence, since she dreads going to Toby.She was afraid of seeing that hideous smirking face.She always finds various excuses to stay away from him.When she forced herself to visit him, Jill could feel the change in him immediately.Even nurses can feel this.Toby lay motionless, limp and bound in his completely paralyzed shell.But as soon as Jill came into the room there was a kind of life in those bright blue eyes.Jill could read Toby's mind as if he were saying out loud, "Don't let me die. Help me! Help me!"

Jill stood, looked down at his crippled body, and thought, "I can't save you. You don't want to live like this, you should think of dying!" This idea began to germinate in Jill's mind. Newspapers ran stories about how wives relieved terminally ill husbands.But some doctors admit that they can use a "painless death" method to let some terminally ill patients die peacefully.People call this method "merciful killing".But Jill knew that it could also be called murder.Although Toby is no longer alive except for those two damn eyes that keep following her.

Jill didn't leave the house for the next few weeks, shutting herself in her bedroom most of the time.Her headaches were coming back, and she couldn't help it. Newspapers and magazines ran humane stories about the paralyzed superstar and his devoted wife, who for a time nursed her husband back to health.These publications are speculating whether Jill can perform miracles again.But she knew that miracles would never happen again.There was absolutely no way Toby would ever recover. For twenty years, Dr. Kaplan had said so.David was there waiting for her.She must try to escape her prison.

It's a gray and cloudy Sunday.It began to rain in the morning, and it continued to rain all day long.Raindrops jingled on the roof and on the panes of the windows.Jill sat in her bedroom reading a book, trying not to think about the tinkle of raindrops.But the beating never stopped.She was so upset that she was really going crazy.Then a night nurse came in, her name was Ingrid Johnson, she was Nordic, she was serious. "The stove upstairs doesn't work," said Ingrid. "I have to go into the kitchen and cook for Mr. Temple. Can you stay with him for a few minutes?"

Jill could detect the accusation in the nurse's tone.She thought it strange that a wife would not go to her husband's bed. "I'll take care of him," Jill said. She put down her book and walked down the hall to Toby's bedroom.As soon as Jill entered the door, the familiar unpleasant smell in the ward rushed straight into her nostrils.For a moment she thought of the long, terrible years she had worked so hard to save Toby.These memories touched every nerve in her body. Toby's head was propped up on a large pillow.When he saw Jill come in, his eyes suddenly came alive, sparkling with frantic questioning and pleading: "Where have you been? Why are you hiding from me, I need you. Help me!" As if his eyes could Like making a sound.Jill looked down at the loathsome, insensible body, at the laughingly paralyzed face.She felt extremely disgusted: "You are not going to get better, damn it, you should have died long ago! I hope you die!"

As Jill stared at Toby, she noticed a change in Toby's eyes.There was a look of panic and distrust in his eyes, and then a look of hatred, which was completely naked hatred.So Jill involuntarily took a step back from the bed.She knew then that she had spoken her thoughts aloud. She turned and fled the room. In the morning, the rain stopped.Someone brought the wheelchair up from the basement.The nurse on duty during the day, Frances Gordon, pushed Toby in a wheelchair to the garden for a while in the sun.Jill listened as the wheelchair passed through the hall and headed for the elevator.She waited a few minutes, then went downstairs.As I passed the door of the study, I heard the phone ring.It's David calling from Washington.

"How are you today?" His words sound warm and sincere. She was thrilled to hear his voice: "I'm fine, David." "I want you to be with me, honey." "Me too. I love you dearly, I want you, I want you to hold me in your arms again. Oh David..." Some instinct made Jill turn around.Toby is in the hall, strapped to a wheelchair.The nurse told him to stay in the hall for a while.His eyes were casting a hate and curse upon Jill, as if whipping her flesh.His heart spoke to her through his eyes, yelling at her: "I'm going to kill you!" Jill put the phone down in pain.

She ran upstairs, feeling as if Toby's hatred was still pursuing her, like some irresistible, evil force.She stays in her bedroom all day and doesn't want to eat.Sitting in a chair, she has been in a state of groggy, and she thinks about the phone call over and over again.Toby got it, he got it.She could never face him again. At last night fell.It was a night in mid-July.The residual heat of the day still remained in the air.Jill opened all the bedroom windows to let in the night breeze. In Toby's room, Nurse Gallagher is on duty.She came in on tiptoe to see her patient.Nurse Gallagher hoped that if she could get a handle on the patient's mind, she might be able to help the poor man.She covered Toby's head with the quilt. "You can have a good night's sleep," she said cheerfully, "I'll see you later." There was no response.He didn't even roll his eyes.

"Maybe I can't read his mind." Gallagher thought to himself.She took one last look at him and went back to her little lounge to watch the evening TV show.Gallagher likes to watch rambling shows.She likes to listen to TV stars introduce themselves.At this time they are very humane, just like ordinary people in daily life.She turned the TV on very low so as not to disturb the patient.But in any case Toby Temple would not hear it, his mind was elsewhere. The house was asleep, and the Bel-Ayr woods were densely guarded over it.There are occasional cars passing by on Sunset Boulevard in the distance, and there are slight sounds.Nurse Gallagher was watching late, very late TV, wishing the station would show a Toby Temple movie.What a thrill it is to see Toby Temple on TV while he's here in person, just a few feet away!

At four o'clock in the morning, Nurse Gallagher fell asleep watching a horror movie. There was silence in Toby's room. In Jill's room, the only thing that could be heard was the ticking of the bedside clock.She was lying naked on the bed, with one arm hugging a pillow, and she had fallen into a dream.Under the dim moonlight, the contrast between the human body and the white sheets is clear and distinct.The sounds in the street were low and distant. Jill turned restlessly on her side in her sleep, shivering from time to time.She dreamed that she was honeymooning with David in Alaska.However, it seemed that they were in an endless frozen grassland.Suddenly the storm roared.The biting cold wind hit her face, making her breathless.She turned back to look for David.David was nowhere to be found.She was left alone on the cold glacier.She coughed, trying desperately to breathe.A choking sound woke Jill up.She heard a terrible wheezing sound, like a premonition of death.Jill opened her eyes, and it turned out that the voice came from her own throat.She couldn't breathe.The cold wind wrapped her tightly like a black blanket, caressing her naked body, slapping her breasts, kissing her lips with the cold and fetid breath from the grave .

Jill fought the cold desperately.Her heart was beating impetuously.She felt as if her lungs had frozen from the cold.Jill struggled to sit up.But an invisible pressure made her unable to move.She knew this must be a nightmare, but when she tried to breathe, she heard a nasty gurgle in her throat.She is going to die.But can a person die in a nightmare?Jill suddenly felt a cold tentacle exploring her body, burrowing between her legs, and her heart stopped.She understood that this was Toby.A sharp terror made her grope for the bed rails, and she gasped, struggling with all her might.She finally touched the floor, stood up with all her strength, and ran for the door.The cold continued to pursue her, to surround her, to capture her.She found the handle of the door, turned it open, and ran into the hallway.She gasped for air, letting the oxygen fill her hungry lungs. The aisle is warm, quiet and comfortable.Jill stood there, staggering, teeth chattering involuntarily.She turned and looked at her room. Everything was normal and peaceful.She had a nightmare.Jill hesitated for a moment, then turned and walked back through the doorway.Her room is warm.Nothing scary.Of course, Toby couldn't hurt her at all. Nurse Gallagher woke up in her lounge and came over to check on her patients. Toby Temple was lying on the bed exactly as she had gone.He stared at the ceiling, staring at what Nurse Gallagher couldn't see. Since then, the nightmare has recurred at regular intervals, like an omen before death, heralding some kind of impending horror.Slowly, Jill developed a phobia.At home, wherever she was, she felt Toby was right beside her.Jill could hear the wheelchair as the nurse pushed Toby out.The sound of the wheelchair made a harsh creaking sound.Every time Jill heard the sound, she couldn't stand it.She thought, she must repair the wheelchair.She avoided going into Toby's room, but it was the same, it seemed that Toby was everywhere, always watching her. Jill had frequent headaches, a rhythmic, savage stabbing that kept Jill from resting.Jill wanted the pain to stop for an hour, if not a minute, a second.She has to sleep.She hid in the maid's room behind the kitchen, as far away from Toby as possible.The room is warm and quiet.Jill lay on the bed and closed her eyes.She fell asleep almost immediately. But a foul-smelling cold wind woke her up again.The cold filled the room again, and it seized her and wanted to bury her.Jill jumped up immediately and ran out the door. Scary enough by day, it's even more chilling at night.Every day is like this.Jill went back to her room and curled up on the bed, trying to suppress her drowsiness.She was afraid that if she fell asleep, Toby would come to her.But her exhausted body sometimes got the better of her, and she fell asleep anyway. Then, she would be awakened by the cold again.In bed she would shiver with cold.It seemed that a gust of cold air was hitting her, and an evil thing surrounded her tightly like a terrible curse.She had to get up from the bed and flee from this silent terror. It's three o'clock in the night. Jill sat reading in a chair and fell asleep. Slowly she woke up.In the dark room, she opened her eyes.Suddenly she knew something terrible had happened. She remembered that the light was on when she was sleeping.Jill felt her heart pounding.There was nothing to be afraid of, she thought.Nurse Gallagher must have come in and turned off the light. But she heard the noise again.That was the sound coming from the hallway, creaking creaking... Toby's wheelchair was walking towards her bedroom.Jill felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.It was the sound of a branch falling on the roof or falling from the house, she said to herself.Yet she knew it wasn't true.She had heard that sound too many times before.Creak...creak...like the music of death came to meet her.This can't be Toby, she thought.He lay on the bed, helpless.I'm confused.But she obviously heard the sound of the wheelchair getting closer, and stopped at her door, waiting.Suddenly, there was a crash, followed by silence. Jill has been curled up in the chair all night without turning on the light. She was so frightened that she dared not move at all. In the morning, she found a broken vase on the ground outside the bedroom door. It was on a table in the hallway. Jill finds Dr. Kaplan. "Do you believe that the spirit-spirit can control the body?" Jill asked. He was puzzled, looked at her and said, "Which aspect are you referring to?" "If Toby wanted to -- really wanted to get out of the hospital bed, would he be able to?" "You said no one helped him? In his current situation?" He gave her a look of disbelief. "He can't move at all. It's impossible." Jill felt unsatisfied: "If—if he's really determined to get up—if there's something that makes him feel like he has to get up..." Dr. Kaplan shook his head: "We say that the mind can control the body, but if our central nerves that control movement are dead, and if there is no muscle support, nothing can be done with the strength of the mind." She also asks: "Do you believe that objects can be moved by spirits?" "Are you referring to inspiration in spirituality? There have been many experiments in this area, but none of them can provide me with convincing evidence." There was a broken vase just outside her bedroom door. Jill wanted to tell him about it, about the cold wind that kept chasing her, about the sound of Toby's wheelchair at her door.However, he must have thought Jill was crazy.Is she crazy?Is there something wrong with her?Is she out of her mind? After Dr. Kaplan left, Jill went to look at herself in the mirror.Her appearance took her by surprise.She had sunken cheeks, and her eyes were very large on her pale, thin face.If I go on like this, Jill thought, I'll die before Toby.She looked at her dry, unkempt hair and broken nails.I must not let David see me like this.I have to take care of myself.From now on, she said to herself, you have to go to the beauty shop once a week, you have to eat three meals a day and sleep eight hours. Jill made an appointment at the beauty salon the next morning.She felt exhausted all over her body, and she dozed off to the warm, comfortable hum of the hairdryer, and the nightmare came again: she was asleep in bed, and she heard Toby come to her bedroom in a wheelchair... creaking ...Crackling...Slowly, he moved out of the wheelchair, stood on the ground, and threw himself at her with a grinning grin, his skeleton-like hands reaching for her throat.Jill woke up with a cry.The beauty shop suddenly became chaotic.She didn't even fix her hair, so she left in a hurry. After this time, Jill never dared to leave her home again. Yet she dared not stay at home. There seemed to be something wrong with Jill's head.It was no longer just a headache.She developed amnesia.Often she went downstairs to get things, went into the kitchen, and stood there without knowing what she was doing.Her memory often played strange jokes on her.Once, a nurse came to talk to her about the situation.Jill couldn't understand why a nurse came here, oh, the director was waiting for her in the studio.She was thinking hard about her line: "I'm afraid it's not good, doctor." She must talk to the director and find out how the director wanted her to say it. "Mrs. Temple! Mrs. Temple! Are you uncomfortable?" At this moment, Jill remembered her current situation and recalled everything in reality.She was simply horrified by the appearance of this disorder in herself.She knew that if this went on, she couldn't do it anymore.She had to find out: was she mentally ill?Or is it true that Toby is somehow able to move?Or he had found a way to attack her and manage to kill her. She must see him.She forced herself down the long hall and into Toby's bedroom.She stood outside the door for a while, collecting herself, and then went into Toby's room. Toby was lying on the bed as the nurse sponged him.She looked up at Jill and said, "Oh, here's Mrs. Temple. We just had a nice bath, didn't we?" Jill turned to look at the person on the bed. Toby's limbs were shriveled and slumped over his shriveled and twisted torso.Useless genitals, flaccid and ugly, hung between the legs like a loathsome worm.The yellow layer on Toby's face was gone, but he still had the grotesque smile with his mouth open.His body was dead, but his eyes were still alive.It shines brightly.It watches, searches, plots, and hates.In the sly blue eyes there was a sinister determination to kill her.She saw Toby's heart. "The important thing to remember is that his mind is not damaged," the doctor had told her.His heart is capable of thinking, feeling and hating.That heart had nothing else to do but revenge, to destroy her.Toby wanted her dead as much as she wanted Toby dead. Jill looked down at him, into the eyes that shot hate.She could hear him say, "I'm going to kill you." She felt the resentment spread over her, whipping her. Jill stared into his blue eyes, and she remembered the broken vase.She understood that those nightmares were not hallucinations.He has found a way. She knew that Toby's life was competing with hers.