Chapter 10 Chapter Five (3)

It was true that Fermina boarded the ship in the middle of the night. She walked very secretly and wore a mournful black veil, but it was not the ocean liner bound for Panama by the Gunard Company, but the ocean liner bound for San Juan in the swamp. An ordinary ship in An City.San Juan was her birthplace, where she spent her youth.As the years passed, her feeling of returning home grew stronger.In disregard of her husband's opinion and the customs of the time, she took no one with her except a fifteen-year-old adopted daughter who was brought up by her maid.However, she notified the captains of the ships and the authorities of the various ports in advance of her itinerary.When she made that rash decision, she told her children that she would go to Aunt Hildebranda's for three months to adjust, but she made up her mind to stay there for a long time.Dr. Urbino knew her stubborn temper very well, and he felt extremely sad, but he agreed in a low voice, considering it as God's punishment for his heavy sin. However, when the lights of the ship were not in front of their eyes They were already feeling remorse when they disappeared.

Although they maintained formal correspondence, talking about the situation of their children and other matters in the family, almost two years have passed, and no one has found a way to turn back. Every way to resolve conflicts is blocked by their self-esteem up.The children went to the town of Flores de Maria during the school holidays of the second year, and Fermina tried to show that he was well adapted to the new life, at least that was what Dr. Urbino learned from the children's letters. conclusion.In those days the bishop of Riohacha was prowling enthusiastically about that district on his famous white mule of a manon embroidered with gold.Pilgrims, accordion players, food vendors and amulet sellers from afar followed the bishop.For three days, the manor was crowded with disabled people and people suffering from various incurable diseases.These people did not actually come to hear the bishop's learned sermons and pleas for forgiveness, but to beg the blessing of the mule, which was said to perform miracles behind his master's back.The bishop used to be an ordinary priest who had been an acquaintance of the Urbino family back then.One day at noon he fled from the place where he was preaching to the Hildebranda estate to have lunch.During lunch they talked only of earthly things.After lunch he took Fermina aside to hear her confession.But she politely and firmly refused.The reason was clear, and she had nothing to regret.Even though that was not her purpose, she at least realized that her answer would go where it should go.

Dr. Urbino said somewhat shamelessly that the two years of misery were not his fault, but a bad habit of his wife, who liked to smell the clothes off her family and herself, in order to decide what to do or not by smell. It should be sent for laundering, although it still looks clean at first glance.It was a habit she had developed since she was a child, and she never realized that this behavior would be criticized until her husband discovered her behavior on their wedding night.Her husband also noticed that she locked herself in the bathroom at least three times a day to smoke, which did not bother him, because a woman of her origin often shuts the door in twos and threes to talk about men, to smoke, to drink cheap schnapps, and even to to fall drunkenly on the floor like a mason.But he thought her habit of sniffing clothes whenever she came across them not only inappropriate, but harmful to her health.She took her husband's opinion as a joke.As for her husband's opinion, when she disdains to argue, she always treats it like this.She said that God put the industrious Huang Pengniao's nose on her face, not just for display.

One morning, when she went shopping, the servants shouted in the house, making the neighborhood uneasy, because her three-year-old son disappeared, and they searched everywhere, but could not find it.When she came home, the whole family was in a panic.She hawked two or three times, and found him in a wardrobe that no one expected.Her husband, dumbfounded, asked her how she got there to find it, and she replied, "It smells like shit in the closet." In fact, she can not only use her sense of smell to judge whether the clothes should be washed or where the children are, but also use her sense of smell to judge the direction of her in all areas of life, especially in the field of social life.Urbino observed this all the time during her marriage, especially in the early days of her marriage, when she was in an environment that had existed for three hundred years and which utterly disgusted her, she was a stranger to everything, yet she She is able to do a job with ease in the coral grove with sword locks, and does not conflict with anyone, which shows that she is deeply in love with the world and has a transcendent instinct.This frightening ability may come from Su Hui, or it may come from a heart of stone.Regardless of its origin, it can sometimes be a curse.

One unlucky Sunday, before going to mass, Fermigan sniffed, out of habit, the clothes her husband had worn the previous afternoon, and she immediately became alarmed, as if her husband who was sleeping with her had turned into a another person. She sniffed the jacket and waistcoat first, and as she sniffed, she took the short pocket watch out of its buttonhole, and took out a mechanical pencil, a wallet, and a small amount of change from her pocket.She put the items one by one on the dresser, then sniffed the unrolled shirt. Sniffing the shirt, she took off the tie pin, the yellow crystal buttons on the cuffs, and the gold buttons on the false collar, and then she sniffed the trousers, taking out at the same time a keyring with eleven keys, a mother-of-pearl case, jackknife.Finally, she sniffed panties, socks, and embroidered handkerchiefs.Undoubtedly, every piece of clothing carried a smell they had never had in all their years together, an indescribable smell.It is neither floral nor artificial perfume, but the smell of the human body itself.She didn't say anything at the time.Since then, she has not been able to smell this smell every day.The reason why she sniffed her husband's clothes was no longer out of wanting to know whether the clothes were dirty enough to send them out for washing, but out of an intolerable anxiety about being ripped apart.

Fermina could not deduce from her husband's habits where the smell on his clothes came from.The problem cannot be in the period between after class in the morning and lunch.Because, she thought, no woman in her right mind would be in such a hurry to make love, let alone receive guests, clean the house, make the beds, go shopping and make lunch.What's more, at that time, one of their children may be broken by a brick and go home early from school. If the child sees his mother lying naked in a room with messy bedding at eleven o'clock in the morning, and more Too bad, still with the doctor, it's out of hand.Therefore, the smell on the clothes can only be picked up during outpatient visits, or when playing chess or watching movies at night.This situation was difficult to understand because Fermina, contrary to many of her girlfriends, was too conceited to keep track of her husband herself or ask someone else to do it for her.It seems that visiting a doctor is the most suitable time to do this kind of infidelity to his wife, but it is the easiest to be discovered.Dr. Urbino kept detailed records of all his patients’ outpatient visits, and even his remuneration. From the first visit to sending them out of this world, making the sign of the cross, and writing a sentence to bless their souls, everything was clearly remembered. Clearly, without omissions.

After three weeks, Fermina did not smell that smell from her husband's clothes for a few days.But then it suddenly appeared again, and for several days, the smell was particularly strong.One of those days was Sunday, and they had a family dance.He was not separated from her for a moment, but the smell still pungently emanated from her husband's clothes. One afternoon, contrary to her habits and wishes, she went into her husband's study, and did something she would never do.Using a delicate Bengal magnifying glass, she looked through the intricate records of his doctor's visits in recent months.This was the first time she had walked alone into the creosote-filled study.It is full of various leather-bound books (I don't know what kind of animal skin it is), as well as blurred pictures of various classes in the school, honorary certificates, and strange-shaped contours and daggers collected over the years.In her eyes, that study had always been the secret sanctuary of her husband's private life, which she rarely entered because it had nothing to do with love.She had been there a few times before, but they were always with her husband, and that was to deal with a few urgent matters.She felt she had no right to go in alone, let alone conduct a search that she considered unseemly.But she walked in after all.As she searched, she was almost as frightened as she was anxious.She can't wait to find out the truth, but she is afraid of hurting her dignity and her natural self-esteem.Gosh, that was a hell of a lot of self-torture.

She found nothing.The husband's patients were part of his personal secrets as well as their mutual friends.The patients were unidentified and known not by their faces but by their symptoms, the color of their eyes or their heart certificates, the size of their livers, the thickness of their tongue coating, the clots in their urine and the signs of a nighttime high fever. hallucinations.The patients trusted her husband.They thought they lived because of him; in fact, they lived because of him.In the end, these people just got this sentence in his own handwriting at the end of his medical certificate: Please rest assured that God is waiting for you at the door.After two hours of rummaging in vain, Fermina left the study quickly, feeling that she had been tempted by indecency.

Driven by hallucinations, she begins to notice changes in her husband.She found him evasive in his speech, lost his appetite at the table, listless in bed, prone to tantrums, and from time to time he lectured others in a sarcastic tone.He is no longer as peaceful and serene at home as he used to be, but like a lion in a cage.Since she got married, she never paid attention to when he came home at night, but now she can count the minutes and seconds clearly.In order to get out the truth, she did not hesitate to play tricks with him, but afterwards she felt that her self-esteem had been fatally hurt due to psychological contradictions.One night, she woke up in a hallucination, as if her husband was watching her with disgust in the dark.She felt the same shudder that had shuddered in her youth when Ariza came to her bed, except that Ariza's presence had nothing to do with hatred but pure love.Again, this time, it wasn't actually a hallucination: the husband had been waking up since two in the morning, and had been sitting on the bed watching her sleep.But when she asked him why, he flatly denied it, put his head on the pillow again and said, "You must be dreaming."

After the events of that evening and other similar and inexplicable events that took place during that time, Fermina was in a daze and was going crazy.She didn't quite know when things were going to end, or where the dream began.Finally, she found out that her husband hadn't attended Eucharist on Thursday to take communion, and hadn't taken communion every Sunday for the last few weeks, let alone making time for spiritual cleansing.When she asked him the reason for these unusual changes in his spiritual practice, the answer was vague. This is the crux of the matter.For never since he had received communion for the first time at the age of eight had he failed to take communion on such an important feast.In this way, she realized that her husband had not only committed a serious sin, but that he was determined to continue committing it without repentance, which was why he did not want to go to the Reverend Confession.She never imagined that she would suffer from the loss of her love.But this is the truth after all.In order not to die in pain, she decided to put a fire in the snake's nest that was poisoning her internal organs.She really did.One afternoon, she was mending a sock on the deck while her husband was reading, having just woken up from a nap.When he was about to finish reading, she suddenly put down what she was doing, pushed her glasses to her forehead, and said to her husband calmly, "Doctor."

He was absorbed in reading "Penguin Island", which was a very popular novel at the time.Hearing his wife call, he replied with a casual "Oh".She continued: "You look into my face." He complied.He was wearing presbyopic glasses and couldn't see his wife's face clearly, but he didn't need to take his eyes off to feel her flaming eyes burning on him. "What's the matter?" he asked. "Why! You know it yourself!" she said. She said nothing more, put down her glasses again, and continued to darn her socks.Dr. Urbino understood that the long confusion had come to an end.Contrary to what he had expected at the time, what she felt was not a violent earthquake, but a calm blow.He felt relieved, since it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, and it was true that the ghost of Miss Barbara Lynch had entered his family anyway. Dr. Urbino had made the acquaintance with her four months ago, when she was waiting at the outpatient department of the "Guangci Hospital". As soon as he saw her, he realized that an irredeemable event had finally happened in his destiny.She is a mulatto girl with a tall figure, slender limbs, elegant and quiet, delicate skin, gentle personality, as sweet as honey.That morning, she was wearing a shirt with red background and white spots, and a hat of the same fabric with a wide brim, and the shadow of the hat went all the way to the eyes, which was very sexy.Dr. Urbino usually does not visit the clinic, but only goes in to remind the senior students when he has time to pass by, and let them remember that an accurate diagnosis is better than all medicines.This time, he did everything possible to delay the time so that he could be there when the unexpected mixed-race girl was checked, and he was careful to make his students realize from his every move that he was never the same as her. acquaintance.He hardly looked at her, but kept all her information firmly in his mind.That afternoon, after seeing the last patient, he ordered the driver to drive there according to the address she left at the outpatient clinic.She really lived there, and it was March in Yangchun, and she happened to be enjoying the shade on the platform. It was a typical Antillean house, painted yellow all the way to the zinc roof, with burlap curtains, and pots of carnations and clams hanging from the verandas.Here is the Mara Crisianza Marsh by the sea, and all the houses stand on thick wooden posts.Turpiarv looked around in the cage under the eaves.There was a small school on the opposite sidewalk, and the swarms of students forced the coachman to tighten the reins so as not to startle the horses.As luck would have it, Miss Barbara Lynch recognized the doctor.She greeted him with the air of an old acquaintance, invited him to drink coffee, and left after the tumultuous crowd had passed.Uncharacteristically, he happily accepted her invitation and listened to her talk about her life experience.It was the only thing that had interested him since that morning, and it was the one thing that would keep him restless and affect him wholeheartedly for months to come.Once, when we were first married, a friend told him in the presence of his wife that sooner or later he would encounter a mad love affair that would threaten the solidity of their relationship.Dr. Urbino, who thought he knew himself and his solid moral foundation, laughed at such predictions.However, now it seems that this friend has hit the mark. Barbara Lynch is a doctor of divinity.She was the only daughter of the revered Protestant clergyman Jonathan Iblingch.The Protestant minister, a small black Negro, often rode a mule to poor villages in the swamp to preach about a God, but she believed in a God different from that of Doctor Urbino, who, out of contempt, would not Express it in capital letters.Miss Lynch spoke Spanish fluently, with occasional irregularities in syntax which only added to her charm.By December, she will be twenty-eight.She had just recently divorced another pastor, a student of his father's.Their two years of married life were very unhappy, so she had no desire to remarry. "I just love my Turpial bird and nothing else," she said. However, Dr. Urbino is a very serious person, and he did not expect that this was said to him on purpose.On the contrary, he confusedly asked himself whether the combination of so many convenient conditions was a trap set by God to double his demands in the future.At once, however, he drove the thought out of his head as theological folly, for he was in a state of bewilderment. When he was about to say goodbye, he accidentally mentioned the diagnosis in the morning.He knew that to win the patient's favor, he must talk about the patient's illness.Sure enough, the subject aroused her interest, and he promised to come and examine her in person at four o'clock the next afternoon.She panicked, but he reassured her, saying, "In our business, we have always charged the rich and not the common people." Then he wrote in his pocket notepad: "Barbara ?Miss Lynch, Mara Cristianza, Saturday, 4:00 pm. In a few months, Fermina will definitely read the card containing the detailed diagnosis, prescription and progress of the disease. The name caught her attention. It occurred to her that this was one of those fascinating misguided female artists on the fruit boats of New Orleans, but the address made her think that the person who lived there was probably a Jamaican, and apparently a black woman, So she easily ruled out that she was the woman her husband liked. Dr. Urbino was ten minutes early for his appointment on Saturday, and Miss Lynch ran out to receive him before she was dressed. Not since his days in Paris had he been so nervous, even for an oral exam.She lay on the sackcloth bed, the first soft silk-blend dress, beautiful.Everything about her is perfect: mermaid-like thighs, mesmerizing skin, beautiful breasts, perfectly white teeth.Her whole body exuded an aura of health, the smell of the human body that Fermina had noticed on her husband's clothes. Miss Lynch's surgical outpatient visit was due to a minor ailment which she very jokingly called "unlucky colic." However, Dr. Urbino considered it a serious symptom, and he touched all her internal organs, not so much with meticulousness as with ulterior motives.During the examination, the doctor gradually forgot his own intelligence, and unexpectedly discovered that this amazing woman was as beautiful inside as she was outside.At that moment, he was completely in the mood for joy, no longer the best doctor on the Caribbean coast, but a poor creature of God's creation, bewildered by instinct.Only once in his rigorous medical career did he suffer such humiliation when an angry patient pushed his hand away, sat up in bed, and said, "You can do what you want." But that's out of the question." Miss Lynch, on the other hand, was completely at his mercy.When she was convinced that doctors were no longer thinking about pathology, she said: "I thought it was ethically unacceptable." He was sweating and his clothes were soaked, as if he had just crawled out of a pond.He wiped his hands and face with a towel. "Ethics!" he said. "Do you think doctors are indifferent?" She held out a hand gratefully to him. "What I thought was not allowed doesn't mean you can't do it," she said. "You think, how wonderful it is for a man of such a reputation to take a fancy to such a poor woman as me!" "I will never forget you for a moment," he said. He said this in a trembling voice, which is indeed a bit pitiful.But she responded with a burst of wild laughter that nearly shook the bedroom and woke him up from his embarrassment. "I saw it when I saw you in the hospital, doctor," she said. "I'm a black person, but I'm not stupid." How easy it is for Dr. Urbino to achieve his goal!Miss Lynch asked for real love, and it should not damage the reputation, but it should be unknown.In her opinion, her demands were not excessive at all. She gave Dr. Urbino a chance to seduce her, but even when she was alone, she failed to get him in.The only thing she went too far was to allow him to repeat the arbitrary unethical touching and auscultation, but only if it didn't go too far.And he, unable to give vent to the passion that tormented him, pestered her almost every day.In fact, it was almost impossible for him to maintain his relationship with Miss Lynch, but he was too weak to have the courage to break it off in time, so that he couldn't extricate himself completely and had to go on.He has reached the brink of danger. Dear Mr. Lynch lives an irregular life. He rides a mule and goes out at any time.The mules carried Bibles and gospel materials on one side and food on the other.But there is no telling when he will come back.In addition, when the students at the opposite school were reading texts, they always looked out the window to the street, and the house across the street was what they could see most clearly.All the doors and windows of that house have been open since six o'clock in the morning.They saw Miss Lynch hanging cages from the eaves and teaching Turpiaru to read from their texts.I saw her wearing a flowered headscarf, doing housework, and learning to read texts with her beautiful Caribbean voice.Then they saw her sitting alone in the foyer in the afternoon reading hymns in English. They had to pick a time when the kids weren't around.Only two times were possible; lunchtime from twelve to two--which is when the doctor also lunched; and evening when the children came home.The latter time was always the best time, but then the doctor's visit was over and there were only a few minutes left before going home for dinner.For him, the most serious problem is his own status.He had to drive there, but his car was well known and should be parked at the door at all times.He could have bought the coachman and made him an accomplice, as all his friends in the social club had done, but it was against his habits.And so, when the purpose of his visit to Miss Lynch had become quite apparent, the coachman in the livery of a servant dared to ask him if he would come to the door again later, so that the carriage would not have to stop so long. .Dr. Urbino's reaction was unexpected, and he cut him off firmly, saying, "Since I've known you, this is the first time I've heard you say something you shouldn't." He said, "Okay , just pretend you didn't say it." There is no way.In such a city, as long as the doctor's car is parked at the door, it is impossible to conceal the illness. Sometimes, if the distance was near, the doctor went on foot himself, or hired another carriage, to avoid malicious or rash surmises.However, this deceit does not help because the pharmacy prescription can bring out the truth.At this point, Dr. Urbino's prescriptions can only be mixed with truth and falsehood, in order to preserve the sacred right of patients to die peacefully forever with the secret of their disease.He could have made all sorts of good-sounding explanations for his car being parked in front of Miss Lynch's house, but the deceit would not last long, much less forever, as he hoped. The world has turned into a hell for him, because once the first madness is satisfied, both men realize that there is a crisis.Dr. Urbino would never have made up his mind to risk making a fool of himself.In his frenzied gibberish he could promise anything, but afterward, everything had to be said later.On the contrary, the more I wanted to be with her, the more I was afraid of losing her.Their meetings became more hasty each time. Every time is more difficult.He didn't think about anything else, but anxiously waited for this hour in the afternoon every day. He canceled all other appointments.He put everything behind him except her.But as the car got closer and closer to the mara klianza swamp, the more he begged God to let something go wrong at the last moment that would force him to walk through the door.He often walked to Miss Lynch's house with this contradictory and painful mood. It pleased him sometimes to see from a street corner the cotton-like hair of the venerable Mr. Lynch sitting on the terrace reading, or in the hall, teaching the doctrine to the Gospel-read children of the district.At that moment, he walked home lightheartedly, thankful that he was no longer cheating, but then he longed for all the time to be five o'clock in the afternoon. When the car was too conspicuously parked at the door, it was impossible for them to hang out together for a long time every time. After three months, their approach reached the point of absurdity.As soon as Miss Lynch saw him coming in in a panic, she hurried into her court without saying a word.Whenever he came, she had taken the precaution of wearing a baggy skirt, a beautiful Jamaican petticoat with flounces, and no underwear or shorts.She believes that this will help him overcome his fear.However, everything she did to make him successful was destroyed by him.Panting, he followed her into the bedroom, sweat rolling down his face like soybeans. When he entered the house, he threw his cane, medicine box, Panama hat, etc. on the ground, making them jingle, and then dragged his trousers. When I fell in love, I thought about leaving without having fun.When he re-buttoned his coat, she thought it was just the beginning.However, he sticks to the rules he sets for himself: get everything done within the time it takes to get an IV done.Then he went home.On the way, he felt ashamed of his weakness and wished he could die. He cursed himself for not having the courage to tell Fermina his secrets, and to break away from this sneaky behavior. He hadn't had dinner, and was subconsciously praying.When his wife tidied up everything in the house before going to bed, he pretended to read the books he had flipped through during his nap on the bed. In the steam of the woods where she lay she was utterly unable to extricate herself.At that time, whether he wanted to or not, all he could think of was the time at five to five tomorrow afternoon, and that she was waiting for him.Other than that, he had nothing on his mind. As early as a few years ago, he realized that his body was not as good as before.He admitted that those were only symptoms.These symptoms, which he had read about in books, had been confirmed in real life.Some elderly patients, who did not have any serious diseases, suddenly began to say that they were suffering from various diseases, just like the syndromes described in medical books, but in fact those symptoms were nothing more than mental hallucinations .His La Salle Botliere pediatric clinical teacher once advised him to make pediatrics his most important major.Because children are the most honest, they only say that they are sick when they are really sick. When they state their symptoms to the doctor, they will not use ordinary words, but only specific symptoms, without any falsehood.Adults, on the contrary, after a certain age, sometimes only have symptoms but no real disease, or the disease is very serious, but the symptoms are not so obvious.He treated these patients with buffers to prolong their lives.As time goes by, and in old age, they become so accustomed to their illness that chronic illnesses or minor ailments are no longer a concern at all.What Dr. Urbino couldn't understand was that a doctor like him, who thought he had seen everything, couldn't conquer the anxiety of fear of illness.To make matters worse, he proceeded entirely from professional prejudices, and could have been ill without believing it.At the age of forty, he once said in class, half-seriously, half-jokingly: "The only thing I need in life is someone who understands me." However, when he got into Miss Lynch's maze, he could no longer take this sentence as a joke. All the real and imaginary symptoms of his adult patients were now concentrated in him.He clearly felt the shape of the heart and could tell its size without touching it.He felt that something was wrong with his kidneys, and he grunted like a sleeping cat.He felt his gallbladder glisten, felt his blood humming in his arteries.Sometimes he woke up in the morning feeling like a fish that couldn't breathe.Sometimes I feel my heart fills with water; The symptoms came and went, and finally he felt healed because God is great. But instead of buffering himself, as he had done with his patients, he subjected himself to fear and confusion.Really, the only thing he needs in life is someone who understands him, even at fifty-eight. He turns to Fermina for help, she is the one he loves the most in this world and the one who loves him the most.In her presence he had just calmed his conscience. It happened after she interrupted his afternoon reading to make him look into her eyes, when he first found out that something had been revealed about him.However, he did not understand how she had discovered it, because it would be impossible to imagine that Fermina had discovered it simply by smell.In any case, this place has not been a city conducive to secrecy for a long time.Not long after the first home phones were installed, several seemingly stable couples got divorced due to anonymous calls.Many families stopped using the phone, or refused to install it for several years, for fear of a relationship breakdown.Dr. Urbino knew that his wife had a high self-esteem and would not respond to anyone accusing her husband of infidelity through an anonymous phone call, and he could hardly imagine anyone being so bold as to accuse her of it. Report your real name.Relatively speaking, what he is afraid of is the traditional method: an anonymous person slips a note through the crack of the door. Mystical connection of the matter with the divine God. Jealousy never visits his home. This is what Dr. Urbino has boasted many times in public during the thirty years of peaceful married life.Even now, and it is true, he is like a Swedish match, lit only by rubbing against his own box.However, he didn't know how such a conceited, self-respecting and stubborn woman would react to her husband's proven infidelity?After looking into her eyes as she asked, he did nothing but lower his head again to hide his panic.While thinking about countermeasures, he still pretended to stray into the beautiful river on Arka Island in the novel.Fermina didn't say anything more.After darning the sock heels, she tossed things in a mess into the sewing box, went to the kitchen to order dinner, and then went to the bedroom.At that time, Dr. Urbino made up his mind not to go to Miss Lynch's house at five o'clock in the afternoon.The promise to love her forever, the fantasy of finding her a secluded place alone so that he can have an affair with her calmly, the vow of love and unswerving until death, etc., all the promises he made to her in the flames of love, It's all over forever.The last thing Miss Lynch got from him was an emerald tiara.It was given to her by the coachman, who neither left her a message nor gave her a note.The headdress was in a small box wrapped in a medical pad, which the driver thought was emergency medicine.He never saw her again in his life, not even once in a while. Only God knows how painful it is for Him to make this courageous decision.He shed so many bitter tears alone in the bathroom that he got rid of the suffering in his heart and barely survived.At five o'clock, instead of going to her, he made a deep confession before his confessor.The following Sunday he went to communion with a broken heart, but at last his soul was at peace. On the evening of the night when he broke up with Miss Lynch, undressing and going to bed, he repeated to Fermina the series of painful insomnias, the prickling pains in his heart that made him want to cry, and other things. Some incomprehensible outpouring of nostalgic feelings.... At that time, when he told her about these circumstances, he always attributed it to old age and infirmity.He must find someone to vent these words to, or he will suffocate to death-this is also to avoid telling the truth about the affair.In any case, it is a habit between husband and wife to speak out what is in their hearts. Fermina took the clothes he had taken off and listened intently to what he said without looking at him or speaking. She sniffed each piece of clothing without any sign of displeasure on her face.She tossed the clothes in a random ball and threw them into the wicker basket for clothes.她没有发现异样的味道，但这说明不了什么，也许明天又有了。 在寝室对面的小圣坛面前跪下来祈祷之前，他以一声悲怆而诚实的叹息结束了对病症的叙述，说：“我觉得我要死了。” 费尔米钢连眼皮都没有眨一下回答说：“也许这样最好，果真如此，我们两人也就安宁了。” 几年前，在一次得重病时，他也曾讲过类似死的问题，她给了他一个同样粗暴的回答。乌尔比诺医生把它归因于女人的残酷无情，一切都是必然的，正因为如此，地球才依然围着太阳转，因为当时他不知道她总是筑起一道愤怒的屏障，免得让他看出她的恐惧来。在这样的情况下，她最怕的就是失去他。 那天晚上却正好相反，她真希望他死去，这确实发自内心的冲动。乌尔比诺想到这一点，真是惊恐万分。后来，他听得她在黑暗中嘤嘤而泣，并且咬着枕头不让他听见。这使他陷入茫然之中，因为他知道，她不会由于疾病或内心痛苦哭泣。她只有在十分激怒时才会这样做。如果这种激怒又是由于他的过错引起，那更会哭得没完没了。她越哭越气，她不能原谅她自己这种伤心落泪的软弱。他不敢去安慰她，他知道那等于去安慰一头被长矛刺中的母老虎，他也没有勇气告诉她，引起她伤心哭泣的根源已经消失了，而且也从他的脑海里永远抹掉了。 疲劳把他征服了几分钟。他醒来时，她已点着了蜡烛，烛光十分暗淡，她没有入睡，但已不再哭泣。在他入睡的时候，她心里作出了一个决定。多年来在她心灵深处积下的沉渣，被妒嫉重新搅动起来了，而且浮出了表面。她一下子变老了。看着她利那间出现的皱纹和干瘪的双唇，灰白的头发，他不禁怦然心动。他鼓起勇气对她说，已经两点多了，她应该入睡了。她背过身去，但声音里已听不出一丝怒气。 “我有权知道她是谁。” 他向她讲出了一切，心里着实轻松了不少，他认为事情已为她所知，她只是想核对一下细节而已。当然，事情并不是象他想象的那样，在他讲述时，她又重新哭泣起来，而且不是象起初那样轻松哭泣，而是哭得泪流满面。那带苦咸味的眼泪在她宽大的睡衣里燃烧着、烤灼着她的生命。她希望他断然否定一切，但他没有这样做，她因受侮辱而勃然大怒，以最恶毒的语言大喊大叫地咒骂这个社会有那么多婊子养的无所顾忌地践踏别人的名誉，即使面对他不忠的铁的证据，他也面不改色，严然象一个男子汉。当他告诉她那天下午他曾去找了他的忏悔牧师时，她更是怒上加怒。从中学时代起，她就认为教堂里的人缺乏任何上帝启示的美德。这是他们和睦的家庭中的一项根本的分歧。在过去的共同生活中他们都回避了这一点，可是眼下她丈夫居然允许忏悔牧师介入到他们的隐私中来，这实在走得太远了，因为那不仅仅是他自己的事，还把她也址了进去。 “这等于把事情通报给城门楼下一个卖狗皮膏药的人。”她说。 对她来说，这可算到了头了。她敢肯定，不等她丈夫忏悔完，她的名声就会到处传开。她受到了莫大的侮辱，这侮辱比起羞愧、愤怒和丈夫无情无义的偷情，更加令她难以忍受。最糟糕不过的是，他竟然去跟一个黑女人去偷情。他纠正说，是个黑白混血的女人。但是，那时他用词再精确也无用，她已经作出结论了。 “反正是一路货！”她说，“现在我才明白了，原来是黑女人的气味。” 这事发生在某个星期一。星期五晚上七时，费尔米纳登上了开往大沼泽地圣?胡安市的一艘普普通通的小轮船。她随身带了一只箱子，由养女作伴，蒙着面纱，以避免和相识的人们见面，特别是避免他们问起她的丈夫。两人事先商定，乌尔比诺不去港口送行。他们不厌其烦地整整谈了三天，最后决定她去费洛雷斯?德马利亚镇——表姐伊尔德布兰达的庄园坐落在那里——使她在那儿有充分的时间深思熟虑，然后做出最后的选择。儿女们知道母亲前往弗洛雷斯?德马利亚镇，但不了解内因，许久以来，他们自己也一直渴望有机会到那里去，但未能成行。乌尔比诺医生绞尽脑汁安排好一切，以便在那个邪恶的社会没有人做出居心不良的猜测。他把事情处理得天衣无缝，如果说阿里萨对费尔米纳的出走没有发现任何迹象的话，那是因为实际上并没有这种迹象，而并不是由于他缺乏通风报信的渠道。文夭丝毫也不怀疑，妻子一旦怒气平息，就会回到家中来。可是，她走时断言说，她的怒气永远不会消除。 然而，她很快就会明白，这一过火的决定，与其说是气恼的结果，还不如说是思乡造成的。蜜月旅行之后，她曾数次回欧洲去，虽然每次都要在海上漂流十天，但却有充分的时间去体验幸福。她见过世面，也学会了以另一种方式生活和思维，可自从那次乘气球旅行失败之后，就再也没有回到过大沼泽地圣?胡安市。回伊尔德布兰达表姐所居住的省份，对她来说即使晚了一些，也还是带有点弥补的性质。 她并非由于夫妻关系上的灾难才作出这个决定，而是考虑已久。所以，单单想到回忆一下少年时代的爱恋，也能使她从不幸中得到安慰。 她和养女在大沼泽地圣?胡安市下船之后，凭着她刚强的性格，她不顾别人的种种警告，还是重游了那座城市。她想从圣?胡安市到圣佩德罗?阿列杭德里话去，目的是想亲眼目睹一下人们传说的美洲解放者西蒙?玻利瓦尔临终时睡的床。据说那张床跟孩子的睡床一般大。在乘火车登程之前，由于她有证件，市府民政兼军事长官邀请她剩坐了官方带篷马车。 下午两点，疲惫不堪的费尔米纳又重新看到了她亲爱的故乡。故乡的街道，看上去更象那长满青苔的坑坑洼洼的河滩。她看到了葡萄牙人豪华的住宅，门上雕刻着带有花纹的国徽，百叶窗是铜制的，阴暗的大厅里传出阵阵响亮而单调的钢琴声，充满着忧郁和悲伤。费尔米纳的母亲新婚时曾在有钱人家教女孩子们弹过钢琴，声音仿佛与此相似。她看到了空空荡荡的广场，那儿没有一棵树，有的只是烤人的碎石子。有着深色车篷的马车整齐地排列着，马儿站在那儿打盹。这时，开往圣佩德罗?阿列杭德里诺的火车也投入了她的眼帘。在大教堂的拐角处，她看到了最大、最漂亮的房子，它有着青石连拱廊，修道院式的大门，以及许多年后，当她已经失去对事物的记忆力时，阿尔瓦洛将在那儿出世的寝室的窗户。她想起了她到处寻找不着的埃斯科拉斯蒂卡姑妈。想到姑妈，便想起了阿里萨，想起了他那一身文人的打扮，想起了他在小公园的扁桃树下拿着的诗集。她偶尔回忆起中学时代不愉快的岁月时，也总是想到他。她哪调许久，怎么也认不出她故居的房子了，她认为，在那儿过去留下的唯一的东西便是一个猪圈。从街角过来就是妓女街，来自于世界各地的妓女此刻正在门廊下午睡，等待着邮车经过时给她们带点什么。这里已不是她的故乡了! 从下船逛市区开始，费尔米纳就用面纱遮住半个脸，这并非因为担心有人认出她，因为这儿谁都不认识她，而是由于从火车站到公墓，一路上到处可见在阳光暴晒下的肿胀的陈尸。市府民政兼军事长官对她说：“这是霍乱。” 她清楚，她早已注意到了太阳烤灼下的一具具尸体嘴里冒出的白沫。但是她发现，没有一具尸体象乘汽球飞行时看到的那样，脑后有致命枪击。 “是的，”长官说，“上帝也在改进自己的方法。” 从大沼泽地圣潮安市到圣佩德罗?阿列杭德里诺的古老榨糖厂，只有五十公里，可是那列黄色火车却爬行了一整天。原因是，火车司机跟老乘客们是朋友，这些人时不时地央求他停车，以便去舒展一下躯体，在香蕉公司高尔夫球场的草坪上走走，男人们则脱光衣服，在清澈见底的冰凉的河水中洗个澡。河水是从山上倾泻下来的。 肚子饿了，他们就到牧场上去挤牛奶喝。到达目的地时，费尔米纳已经被沿途惨景吓得魂不附体，几乎没有兴致去欣赏解放者临死前挂吊床的那几棵巨大的罗望子树，也没有心情去证实临终时他的睡床是否象人们跟她说的那样。后来，她还是勉强去看了一眼。解放者临终前的睡床实在太窄小了，连七个月的婴儿也难以容身，更不用说这位荣耀满身的伟人了。不过，有一个看上去十分了解内情的参观者说，那是一件假文物，事实上，人们是让国父躺在地上死去的。费尔米纳对离家以来听到和看到的一切都感到如此压抑，以致在以后的旅途中她再也没有心思去回忆过去的旅行。她过去对沿途的村镇是何等怀念啊，可现在她竭力想避开它们。说真的，为了使自己不再失望，她应当避开那些村镇。 当她避开那些令人触目惊心的景象抄捷径走着的时候，她听到了手风琴声，听到了斗鸡场的喊叫声，听到了象是打仗又象是游乐所射出的铅丸声。当她迫不得已要穿过某个村镇时，她就用面纱遮住脸，以便依旧回想着它过去的风貌。 一天晚上，在摆脱了对往事的许多回忆之后，她来到了伊尔德布兰达表姐的庄园。看到表姐在门口等她时，她几乎昏厥过去，因为那就象在一面真实的镜子中看到了自己。 表姐胖了，一副老态龙钟的样子，身边有好几个不服管教的儿女。她的这些儿女，不是与她仍然无望地爱着的那个男人生的，而是与一位富有的退役军人生的。 在万般无奈之余，她同他结了婚，而他却疯狂地爱着她。可是，在她被摧毁了的身体内部，仍然保留着原来的精神世界。 费尔米纳在农村呆了几天，沉浸在美好的回忆中，情绪逐渐稳定下来。除了星期日去望弥撒外，她从不出庄园。星期回去望弥撒时，和她作伴的，只有她昔日女友们的孙儿辈，还有骑着高头大马的商人和打扮得花枝招展的漂亮的姑娘们。这些姑娘跟她们的母亲年轻时同样迷人。她们站在牛车上，唱着歌儿，直奔位于山谷深处的传经布道的教堂。费尔米纳只是这一次经过了弗洛雷斯．德马利亚镇，上一次由于她不感兴趣没有去，然而当她看到这个镇子时，她完全被它迷住了。问题是，过后每当她回忆起这个镇子时，眼前浮现的不是那诱人的实累而是她到这个小镇子前的想象。 乌尔比诺大夫在接到里约阿查主教的通知后，决定亲自去接她。他得出的结论是，妻子之所以迟迟不回家，并非由于她不想回家，而是想找个借口下台阶。于是，他给伊尔德布兰达写了封信，后者回信告诉他，他妻子非常想家，几乎想到茶饭不思的地步。因而，他没有通知费尔米纳就赶到她表姐的庄园去。上午十一点，费尔米纳正在厨房做茄子馅饼，忽然听到短工们的喊声。马的嘶鸣声和对空开枪声，接着，门厅里传来了坚定的脚步声和男子的说话声。 “来得早不如来得巧。” 她乐不可支，来不及多想，胡乱地洗了洗手，喃喃自语道：“谢谢，我的上帝，谢谢，你真慈悲！” 伊尔德布兰达表姐叫她准备饭菜，但并没有告诉她到底谁来吃饭。她想到那使人倒胃口的茄子馅饼，想到自己还未洗澡，想到自己又老又丑，脸上被阳光晒得脱去了一层皮，想到他看到她这副模样一定会为赶来接她而后悔，她一时六神无主了。 尽管如此，她还是仓促地在围裙上擦干了手，整了整头发和衣衫，借助母亲生下她时给予她的全部矜持，稳住了那纷乱的心绪去迎接那前来的男子。她迈着母鹿般轻盈的步伐，昂着头，目光炯炯，仰起好斗的鼻子，走出了厨房。她为终于能回到自己的家而感到由衷的喜悦，当然也并非象他想象得那样容易，因为在她决定同他高高兴兴地回家的同时，也决心平静地向他讨还债务——他这一生给她带来的全部痛苦和煎熬。